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June 22, 2015 | Posted by Tony Acero
WWE Raw Image Credit: WWE

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411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 6.22.15
* Welcome.

Have you read the 1000th Rs yet?! AJ Has!! Check it out, HERE!!!


RAW!
IS!
ARKHAMKNIGHTISOUTTONIGHT!!!!

BAHHHHROOOOCCCKKKK!!!!! LESSSSSNNNAAAARRRRR!!!!!!

Brock to open RAW! If Brock is opening RAW, that means Heyman is opening RAW! Yay! Brock’s Suplex City fits the city and state that he is in. Heyman introduces himself. He gives to us the official return to Monday Night RAW of Brock Lesnar. He’s 50 Shades of Red for some reason. If we have been wondering where Brock has been, and why he hasn’t been on RAW, well Heyman has a reminder. That reminder is displayed, as we get a video from 3 months ago where Brock went Smash. 6 minutes into the show, and 5 minutes have been a recap of something that’s already happened.

Heyman says there is no cliffhanger here. How did Heyman negotiate the return? They don’t need Brock’s money, but what they want from this beast is an apology. Not in writing, not in private, but the demand for Brock to return is for he to apologize in public right here, right now, tonight. In this moment. This very moment…the moment that is right now.

Heyman points to Cole, who is sitting like he forgot to pick up his kids from school. Heyman says that if Brock does NOT apologize, he will not be allowed to return. Brock’s got his hands in his pockets. Nice body language, Brock. Cole claims this is unnecessary, as brock paces the ring a bit. He looks towards JBL and Cole while the crowd chants SUPLEX CITY. Cole now has the same pose I have while on a road trip and really needing to use the restroom, but don’t want to be THAT GUY.

Brock leaves the ring and heads towards the announce table. Cole and Co scoot back quickly. Brock takes a few steps forward, and the announcers stand. Brock heads towards JBL first. He extends his hand. JBL is quick to shake it. Brock eyeballs Cole who uses body language more than his mouth. Brock walks around, as Cole says he doesn’t want any trouble. Well, he tries to say as much. Brock extends his hand to Cole. Cole comes back, so Brock gives him an ol fashioned NOOOOOGGGGIIIIEEE!!!

Heyman also wants to offer an apology in advance to what Brock will do to Seth Rollins. His amount of name calling before saying Rollins is so great, Chris Jericho would be proud. Heyman says that Seth has been protected since Day 1, since he made the decision to sell his long-term soul for the short-term gain of being listed in the history books as holding the title in the year 2015. Heyman claims that allowing Brock to take the role Seth has somewhat casually lost is what’s BEAST for BUSINESS. See what he did there? Heyman claims that Seth has a one-way ticket to Suplex City, bitch!

Heyman drops a freestyle again and gives us one of the better opening segments of RAW’s 2015 run. Brock no-sells the upperlip sweat like a champ and he and Advocate head to the back.

-Commercial Break-

Match 1: Kane vs Dean Ambrose
Go behind from Ambrose. Kane elbows out. Whip to the ropes, and Kane hits another elbow, sending Dean to the mat. Kane lifts up Dean and goes for a back suplex. He hits it. Pin for 1..NO! Kane grabs the head. Uppercut and a right hand. Another right, and another uppercut. kane attacks the back then hits the midsection in the corner. Uppercut in the corner. Ambrose reverses and puts Kane in the corner. Chops to the chest and a few rights. Kane with a hard right, sending Ambrose to the mat, because nobody puts Kaney in the corner. Boot to the face against the ropes. Rope work from Ambrose results in an elbow to the face but doesn’t put Kane down. Ambrose shoulders Kane into the corner then hits some right hands. Kane drops him, but Ambrose goes back up and hits a few more then bites Kane’s head. Dean locks up Kane’s arms in the ropes and attacks the chest, but Kane comes back with a chop to the chest, sending Ambrose to the mat. Pin for 1…2..NO! Kane whips Ambrose but Ambrose knocks Kane down with some rights. Kane exits the ring, so Ambrose follows and runs right into a right hand. kane sends him in the ring then hops up on the apron. Ambrose with a kick, causing Kane to hang across the 2nd rope. Ambrose heads up top. Leg drop to Kane, sending him to the outside! Ambrose hops over the top rope and lands on his feet, but Kane tosses Ambrose into the steps.

Back from a break that was more entertaining than this match, and Ambrose is firing back with rights to the face. Kane hits a sidewalk slam, however, and pins for 1…2….NO! Kane sorta falls onto Dean then locks a chinlock in. Ambrose breaks the hold and turns into it. He attacks the midsection and hits a sloppy jawbreaker. Ambrose runs into an uppercut then a DDT! Pin for 1…2..NO! Kane attacks in the corner. He whips Ambrose in the corner then hit a clothesline. Kane with another whip, but he runs into an elbow. Ambrose is shoved, and comes back with a neckbreaker to Kane. Cole says RALLY. Shut up, Cole. Ambrose with a right. A chop. Right. Chop. right. Chop. Kick. Just kidding, no kick. Ambrose on the 2nd rope, he hits a knee then a missile dropkick. Ambrose goes for a bulldog, but Kane pushes, so Ambrose clips the legs with a low dropkick and a rollup pin for 1….2..NO! Kane runs, but Ambrose holds the ropes down and Kane topples over. Ambrose with a kick between the ropes. He hops on te apron and hits a flying clothesline to Kane. Kane tosses Ambrose, who bounces right back and hits a right. Both men in the ring, Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Ambrose escapes. Kane shoves Ambrose, who bounces off the ropes and attacks Kane! He kicks. Sets up for Dirty Deeds.

Seth Rollins is here to distract!

Dean Ambrose legit turns around to wait for Seth. Kane sets up for a chokeslam, ut Ambrose escapes and hits the ropes! SUICIDE DIVE TO SETH! Ambrose goes up top.

Seth grabs the leg. Dean kicks Seth away. Kane with a chokeslam on Ambrose as he stands prone on the top rope! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Kane
The subtle way that Cole says “COULD THIS BE SETH OFFERING AN OLIVE BRANCH” really makes wrestling so layered…
Rating: **

Recap slideshow of Money in the Bank where Kevin Owens and John Cena had a good time. Cena returns….next.

-Commercial Break-

Back to RAW, and Seth is with Kane backstage reminiscing about the good times they’ve had. kane sees what he is doing, but Seth denies him trying to have Kane back him up against Brock. He says this is about family, and extends his hand out to Kane. Kane walks away. Should have given him a noogie, Seth…

Recap of RAW last week where Bray sang to Reigns. This is recap number 5,634 of the show. Oh, and if RAW wasn’t enough, we get Smackdown’s interruption of Roman Reigns where Bray did the EXACT. SAME. THING.

The tag team champions are here for some tag team actions!!

Titus O’Neil is a good day, according to an organization I’ve never heard of. Because I’m not a father, and don’t have one. Now I wish Titus was my dad.

Do you think Darren Young calls Titus “Daddy?”

Match 2: Primetime Players vs The Ascension
Kick from Conor to start. He whips TItus, but Titus hops over and hits a body slam in the middle of the ring. Titus Barks. It’s super effective. Leg drop from TItus and a tag to Darren. Titus with a front suplex to Young, dropping him on Conor. Young drops his ass on Conor then tags in Titus. Viktor runs in, but Titus grabs him, hits a backbreaker, then tosses Viktor aside. He Nae Nae’s, but Conor is behind him. Chop to Conor. They trade chops until Conor tags in Viktor woh stomps Titus down a few times. Uppercut from Viktor, then a chop in the heel corner. Tag from Conor who enters after a right hand and stomps Titus down in the corner. Cover for 1..NO! Conor drops a knee to the back and tags in his partner. He holds the legs as Viktor drops an elbow then covers for 1…YOUNG is there to break it up! Tag to Conor. Kick to the arm then a right hand, followed by a cravat in the center of the ring. Titus stands and turns into the hold, so Conor turns it into a side headlock only for Titus to hit a back suplex. Both men want the tag. They get it. Young with a right hand. He hits a few lefts then a whip and a clothesline. He ducks a clothesline and hits a belly to belly suplex. Knee to Conor. Young with a clothesline in the corner. Another. Northern Lights Suplex Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Conor in! TItus In! Spinebuster to Conor!!

Viktor hits Young with a knee, sending him to the outside. Young with a spinning discus punch! The Gut Check! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: The Primetime Players
Nice ending, average match. Titus is gettin there.
Rating: **

Backstage, The New Day eats vegetables vigorously.

Sheamus is here! Rather quickly, too, I might add, as The Primetime Players are just now leaving the ring. Sheamus walks right by them without notice as they head to the back. OK.

Match 3: Sheamus vs Roman Reigns
Sheamus misses aright hand. Lockup, and Sheamus is backed into the corner for a second. They hit a stalemate, lockup again, and Reigns gets Sheamus against the ropes. Sheamus shoeves, and Roman locks in a side headlock. They’re against the ropes so ref breaks it up. Shemaus with a kick. Side headlock. Roman shoves him in the ropes. Right hand from Reigns. Samoan Drop! Sheamus rolls to the outside. Roman follows, and sends Sheamus’s head into the announce table. Back in the ring, he attacks the midsection in the corner then hits a right hand. He whips Sheamus, but it’s reversed, only to be reversed again as Reigns hits a hard clothesline out of the corner! Reigns sets up for a powerbomb, but Sheamus shoves him in the corner with the shoulder. Right hands to Reigns. Reigns blocks one and gets a few of his own. Sheamus with a kick. Whip to Reigns. Shoulder in the corner. Sheamus hits the ropes. But Reigns comes out of the corner with a right elbow! Sheamus is on the apron. Reigns lifts him allowing Sheamus to hit the guillotine, creating separation. Sheamus rols back in the ring and hits an uppercut. He whips Reigns right into a clothesline then pins for 1. NOPE! Kicks from Sheamus. He chokes Reigns up a bit then sets up to hit a beatdown on the chest. Sheamus gets a few in before Reigns grabs the arm and hits a few back elbows. Sheamus drops in the corner, goading Reigns in, allowing Sheamus to hit him with the Irish Curse backbreaker.

We are back after a break, and Sheamus is in control. Reigns is fighting back, though, with some right hands to the mid section and chest. Headbutt from Reigns. He hits the ropes and a clothesline. Another. Whip to Reigns who fires back with a third standing clothesline. Sheamus up in the corner. Reigns runs with another clothesline. He hits a few short ones in the corner. I think he gets 10. He then fixes his hair. Reigns heads to the outside as Sheamus hangs over the bottom rope. Reigns looks to do the dropkick, but Sheamus hits a low clothesline!!! It looked, admittedly, pretty bad ass. Reigns drops to the mat. Sheamus heads to the outside. Sheamus grabs Reigns and tosses him into the barricade. Sheamus sends Reigns back into the ring. Pin for 1…2..NO!! Cravat from Sheamus. Reigns stands, turns a bit. Hits some rights to Sheamus, but Sheamus with the Irish Curse Backbreaker! He doesn’t release and hits it again! One more time! Pin for 1…2…NO!! Sheamus grabs the legs. Wants the Cloverleaf. He goes for it, but Reigns scurries to the ropes. Sheamus grabs the legs and flings Roman neck first into the ropes. Third time he looks for the cloverleaf, and he gets it this time around. He’s sittin on the back of Reigns. Reigns twists out of it. Sheamus drops Reigns. Both men are down, but Sheamus is getting up first. Sheamus stands. He is behind Reigns as Reigns tries and stands. Forearm to the back of Reigns. Again. He sends Reigns to the ropes, but Reigns bounces back with an elbow. Another. Right hands from Reigns. He hits a few more. Back suplex to Sheamus!! Sheamus is up first again. Reigns is pulling himself up in the corner. Sheamus runs…right into a boot! Elbow from Reigns! Another back suplex! Pin for 1…2..NO!!! Reigns whips, it’s reversed, but Sheamus bends over like a dummy, and Reigns kicks Sheamus. Clothesline from Reigns, sending Sheamus over the top rope! Reigns goes with him! Reigns with the flying dropkick!!! Sheamus backs up against the announce table! Reigns FLIES with a clothesline to Sheamus onto the announce table!!! Nice. Reigns crawls his way back into the ring.

Of course, Bray Wyatt is on the screen again, humming the teapot song. He’s got a little tea party set up, and Wyatt is talking to someone off screen. He says that Roman will be here soon, they’re waiting. Bray says “Find me.” Reigns leaves the match and runs up the ramp, holding his back, heading towards the back as Wyatt continues to drink some tea with….his brand new rocking chair!

-_-

Official Result: Sheamus via countout (presumably)
Well that’s just dumb.
Rating: ***1/2

We’re back after a break, and we get a recap of what JUST HAPPENED. Backstage, Reigns is looking everywhere for Wyatt. He finds an empty room with Wyatt singing, There are photos all over the wall, and in red paint “Anyone but you.” The wall has photos of Reigns without his eyes or mouth.

Didn’t get enough recap?! Here’s another from the opening segment!!!

Backstage, J&J are getting some coffee. Seth comes up and pours it for them. The cup is empty, silly goose. Joey must have noticed, because he tosses the cup aside. Seth tells them to stop playing. Jamie says they dedicated their lives to protect Seth, and all he did was belittle Jamie and Joey, and make bad jokes. Seth says that they are family, and that’s what family does – they joke around with each other. They are more than security, they are friends. Seth says he needs them, but not because of Brock – he needs them because he’s THEIR WWE World Heavyweight Champ. He represents The Authority, and if something were to happen before Battleground because they’re pissed off, that’s not on Seth, that’s on them. Are they cool or what? Joey walks away, and Jamie follows suit.

Kofi is still from Ghana. Cool.

Match 4: Neville vs Kofi Kingston
Kofi with the go behind. He hits a few rights. Neville gets a side headlokc. Kofi shoots him to the ropes, Neville hops over, ends with a roundhouse kick and sends Kofi down via the arm. He hits a nice over the head toss with the arm and locks the left arm. Woods is talking heavily ringside, and it’s glorious. KOfi is able to stand out of the hold, but Neville won’t release it. Kofi sends Neville to the outside, but he comes right back in only for Kofi to hit some rights. In the corner, Kofi hits a bunch of jabs then a hard final one after running. Woods is proud. I miss a bit, am back with Neville hitting a hurricanrana then a dropkick, sending Kofi to the outside. Neville follows, but Big E and Woods are nearby to threaten Neville. Primetime Players are quick to run out and prevent any wrong doings from the Team of Positivity. The referee is here, though, and he sends The Primetime Players to the back! Kofi sends Neville into the apron back first. Big E and Woods talk mad shit to Neville until the ref send THEM to the backstage area, too.

Kofi yells at the ref long enough for Neville to hit an enziguri to Kofi! He heads to the top rope! Red Arrow! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: Neville
Ref’s idiocy aside, another solid outing for Neville.
Rating: **

Another recap! This time, it’s of Owens powerbombing Machine Gun Kelly off the stage.

We get a sneak peek that I don’t think anyone is interested, so instead….

Whatever you do, don’t click the angry Triple H….

After the sneak peek, King Barrett makes his entrance. Cole brings up R-Truth thinking that he’s a king. We get a promo from Truth, who has a plunger as a sceptor. He claims that we must pardon Little Jimmy, and declares King Barrett the Royal Jackass. He calls himself King What’s Up.

Match 5: King Barrett vs Zack Ryder
Ryder is already in the ring. He hits a standing dropkick and a cover for 1..NO! Side headlock and rope work, but Barrett sends Wade down with a shoulder. One legged flap jack from Ryder. Wade gets Ryder in the corner and stomps him about a few times. Hard clotheslines in the corner almost get the ref to call the match. Another hard one sends Ryder down to the mat. Pin for 1..2..NO! Wade with a knee to the back of the head of Wade. He has him locked on the ropes and hits a hard chop to the chest. Swinging neckbreaker in the middle of the ring and a pin for 1..2..NO! Cravat from Wade. Zack tries to get out of it, goes for a facebuster, hits it. King runs into a back elbow. Zack ducks a clothesline, knocks Barrett down, gets whipped in the orner. He puts his knees up and Wade runs into them. Missile dropkick from Ryder! Splash in the corner! Ryder calls for the Broski boot, but Barrett rolls out of the way. Ryder swings through the ropes to hit Wade with a kick. He sends Wade back in the ring and goes to the top rope. Wade hits the ropes, though, and Ryder crotches himself. Wade sets up for the Bullhammer. He hits it! Pin for 1…2…3!!!!

Official Result: King Barrett
Well he had to win sooner or later…
Rating: *

Cole brings up his interview with Owens, and his specific question regarding the hand shake at Money in the Bank. We go to the interview, where Owens says that he knew he was born to be in a WWE ring, and on Sunday, John Cena tried to TELL HIM that. This wasn’t Cena trying to be nice or show respect, it was Cena trying to hog the spotlight, and he guesses Cole does not. And that’s fine.

-Commercial Break-

We get a pic of the Blackhawks holding a WWE Title as the celebrate their Stanley Cup win.

Anyways, John Cena is here to tell the crowd that they’re quick, and he likes that about them. ugh….already?

Cena stares at his US TItle, then holds it up for the world to see. The Champ is here, guys. He says that THIS (the title) is a symbol of excellence, opportunity, and he is damned proud to be champion of the United States. He says that the very opportunity that defines the title could be the opportunity that destroys Cena, because right now Kevin Owens and he is on a mission: to make and take opportunity by any means necessary. At Elimination Chamber, Owens defeated Cena, then took it further by claiming Cena’s time was up. At MITB, Cena offered a gesture of mutual respect. Owens took that opportunity to put him out of commission. Last week on RAW, Owens took the opportunity to assault a 95 lb musician. ha! he said “musician.”

Cena isn’t telling us anything we don’t know; Owens is a great wrestler, but he carries himself like a garbage human being. Owens knows how much the US Title means to Cena, and Owens knows how embarrassed and humiliated Cena would be if he was defeated for the title to Owens – a dirtbag. Owens beat Cena at Elimination Chamber. At MitB, he won the match but not the war. If Cena accepts the challenge, he may be signing up for a fight he may not win. He’s got a choice to make – what does he do. Cena can say no. No is simple and fair, because a few weeks ago, he stood in the ring and wanted to face Owens for the NXT Championship, and Owens said no. Cena can say no, and he’ll still be champ, and that’ll be that. But the champ of what? Owens knows that if Cena refuses, everything Owens has ever said is true – that he’s just a product of Corporate America, that HLR is bullshit created by suits and ties. So Cena is going to do what a champion does – he’ll fight, even if he can’t win, he’ll fight. If there is a message he has tried to hammer home ever since he’s won the title, the rules for the title are simple: May the best man win, and if you want some, come get some.

Thankfully, Kevin’s music hits, and he’s out at the top of the ramp. He guesses he should be pretty upset about everything Cena said about him, but the truth is he’s not. One thing you’ll learn about Owens is that he doesn’t value others opinions much. He really doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. If he did, he probably wouldn’t look the way he does. He’s been called a slob, out of shape – Cena just called him a dirtbag. This out of shape slob dirtbag beat John Cena at Elimination Chamber and left Cena laid in the middle of the ring at MitB. The difference between them is that Cena really cares deeply about what these people think of him. That’s fine. What Owens cares about is winning titles. The minute he stepped foot in NXT, he took the NXT Championship. Now that he’s here, and he sees how much the title means to Cena….he wants it. It’s a symbol of excellence? He agrees, and now he’ll make it a symbol of HIS excellence. Owens calls Cena’s “speech” fun and says that he didn’t actually call it a title match. Owens wants something from Cena, so Owens will give Cena something he craves. He’ll give Cena all of these peoples’ approval. Let’s make sure that the WWE Universe will cheer the mighty John Cena and cheer the evil foreigner.

Owens cuts a promo in French!!! hahahaha. Nice! That damned Canuck!!! Owens notices the boos in the crowd. He’s sure he’ll know what Cena will say. Cena says these people are not indifferent because of the language he speaks or where he is from. They don’t like him because he’s a scumbag. You want French? Cena will speak French. He cuts a French promo and a Chinese promo. Now, he’ll use some “Indiana American.” At Battleground, Cena accepts. His final message? “I WILL KICK YOUR ASS”

The Champ. Is. Here.

So the ENTIRETY of Cena’s initial promo was worthless. The final statement was great.

Backstage, Triple H and Steph are chatting it up, talking about what just transpired. Seth walks in. Steph wants to know if Brock got Seth down? Seth says no he’s not afraid of Brock. He wants to talk to them about Kane and J&J. Trips says Seth doesn’t need them. Seth says he’s right, but The Authority is more than a business arrangement; it’s a family. He feels like he’s damaged the relationship, and now that he’s on top of the world, he wants the family back together. Seth tried to talk to them, and they just didn’t get it. Steph says that Seth caused a lot of damage, has he considered an apology?

Seth asks if they would really apologize to him?! hahahahha.

H says that they invested a lot in Seth. They made the match with Lesnar because they believe he’s ready for it and can get the job done; but he’s scared of Brock because he’s smart. If Seth wasn’t afraid of Brock, he’d be an idiot. He should be scared. But a smart man, no matter the confidence, always has a plan B. A smart man would have back up, has a full proof plan. What does a smart man do? He walks down that ramp and apologizes. He says those three little words that H is positive would make this whole thing go away. Steph says Seth has got to be the bigger man. Seth ponders about Brock showing up. Steph says if Seth wants the band back together, he knows what he’s gotta do. H asks how badly Seth wants this….”Family.”

-Commercial Break-

The Bella Twins are here, now complete with matching accessory Alicia Fox!

Match 6: The Bella Twins vs Naomi and Tamina
Brie and Naomi to start. Naomi tosses Brie in the corner then tags in Tamina. Both girls beat down a bit then Tamina whips and grabs the hair, slamming Brie down. Right hands from Tamina. Whip to brie into the corner. Elbows from Tamina. Snapmare into a head crunch from Tamina! Tamina with a Samoan Drop! Pin for 1…2..NO! Tamina tosses Brie in the corner and tags in Naomi. Elbows in the corner. So The Bellas are face right now. Naomi with a bulldug INTO the 2nd turnbuckle. She grabs Brie and tosses her into the corner. Brie kicks out of the corner and reaches for a tag. Naomi goes to attack, but Brie holds the 2nd rope down and Naomi flies through! Brie reaches for the tag but Naomi pulls the legs out from Nikki. Naomi back in the ring and makes Brie kiss her foot. haha. Jawbreaker from Brie to Naomi! She goes for the tag, gets it. Nikki runs in and hits a clothesline. Another. Dropkick to Naomi. She kicks Tamina down off the apron. Naomi is up ion the corner. Nikki with a clothesline in the corner. Alabama Slam and a pin for 1…2…NO! Tamina breaks the pin. She goes to attack Brie but….the hell? I don’t even know. Anyway, Brie kicks then hits a dropkick off the apron. Rear View from Naomi to Brie!

Tamina holds up Nikki. Nikki tires to fight out of it. Naomi hits REAR VIEW, but Nikki shoves Tamina forward! Naomi hits Tamina!! Rack Attack to Naomi! Pin for 1…2…..3!!!
Official Result: The Bella Twins
Ok, NXT callups….whenever you’re ready.
Rating: *

Insert Terminator trailer.

Big Show is ringside for the next match. My little brother just called him “The Bigs!” hahaha.

Match 7: Ryback vs Mark Henry
Lockup to start! Henry is shoved to the corner and the ref breaks it up. Henry ain’t happy. Lockup again and Ryback works the arm. He is elbowed back by Henry. Henry with a clothesline! Henry With a headbutt. Ryback is able to recover and shove henry to the outside. Ryback follows and attacks the back, right in front of Big Show. Show cheers for Henry, because they’re friends now. Henry tosses Ryback into the barricade, back first.

Back after a break, and Ryback hits a few right hands and a shoulder in the corner. Another. Ryback hops up and hits a right before Henry sends Ryback down. Ryback retorts with a spinebuster. Ryback drops the straps! FEED ME MORE! Ryback with the Meathook attempt, but Henry has the boot up!!! Show is up off the table and he’s cheering Henry on! Ryback bounces off the ropes for a hard shoulder tackle that Cole calls the Meathook.

Ryback goes to the top rope. Wait, what? He does! FROG SPLASH! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Ryback
Well I’ll be damned…
Rating: *1/2

After the match, Show enters the ring to talk to Mark Henry, telling him that he had him beat. Henry don’t take kindly to no giant tellin him what he had and didn’t have, and shoves Show. Show just leaves the ring. The hell?

Cole calls their relationship “Bittersweet.” What the hell is going on tonight?!

Are you….Tough Enough?

JoJo is in the back with Ryback. Apparently, we aren’t interested in her, because a graphic for Tough Enough appears. Ryback is back on the screen and says not to call him Flyback. Ok, I won’t. Ryback talks of the dangers of a triple threat. He says that the title means the world. All the sacrifice and tears have helped. He says that his parents haven’t spoken in over 15 years, but they came together to watch Ryback win the title. Awwwww.

Ryback says that the entire world can be against him, but the Big Guy is here to stay, and together he and the WWE Universe say FEED ME MORE. Big Show is here to clap his way into interruption. Show says at Battleground, he’s going to show the world who Ryback really is; a little boy in a giant’s world. Ryback says Show is all talk and no action. THEY BRAWL!!!! Big Show kicks the kidney, mad at the call out. Ryback with a knee. He shoeves Show into a door then some steel piping. Ryback, “You’re not so big now!”

Brought to you by Malcom in the Middle.

Back after a commercial, and we get a recap of WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!!

Lana is here! Megadeth lapel is not.

Already in the ring is Adam Rose with a sucker. Oh, and a lollipop, too. Rose is on the mic. He says “You people” just don’t get it. They don’t get real art, real passion, and most def don’t get what true love is. He will soon unveil his masterpiece to the world. Let’s hope it’s more Picasso, less Rollins. Rose turns his attention to Dolph and Lana and says not to be “jelly” of them. He says that this is what true love looks like. Rose and Rosa make out.

Match 8: Adam Rose vs Dolph Ziggler
Dolph waits patiently for Rose to finish kissing Rosa, then dropkicks his ass to the mat. He sends Rose in the corner, ref breaks it up. Rusev is watching backstage wearing the same clothing for two weeks now. Rose stomps Dolph in the corner. Body slam to Dolph. Elbow drop to Dolph. Another. One more. Hey, let’s get another. Oh fuck it, one more. Rose mocks Dolph’s booty shake, then whips Dolph to the ropes. Sleeper hold. Ziggler’s moveset is NO LONGER HIS!!! -gasp- how dare he. Dolph with a back suplex. DOlph iwth a clothesline. Another. Splash in the corner!! neckbreaker to Rose!!! Dolph with his own elbow drop! Pin for 1..2…NO! Dolph locks the head, but gets a jawbreaker for his troubles. Right hands from Rose. This sends Dolph into the corner. Rose runs with a hard clothesline in the corner. Rose grabs the head and goes for a boot to the face, but Ziggler side steps, kicks, goes for a Fameasser, but Rose pushes Dolph away. SPINEBUSTER to DOlph!!! Pin for 1…2….NO!! Nice.

Rose goes to the top rope. He flies off! SUPERKICK! Pin for 1…2….3!!!!
Official Result: Dolph Ziggler

Rating: **

After the match, Lana enters the ring. She…..holy shit, she DROPS HER HAIR!! Ahhhhhh shit just got real. NO MORE EVIL BUN!!!

Backstage, Rusev tosses a crutch, screams in agony, then sees some stems standing nearby…camera pans up and it’s…..THE WORST POSSIBLE CHOICE EVER!!!

Summer Rae hands Rusev a crutch. (see what I did there?)

backstage further, J&J are talking to The Authority. Jamie says they are NOT Dumb and Dumber, but more like Yoda from Star Wars. Steph makes an ear joke. Kane is here, too. Steph says that Seth is the future of the WWE, and every one of them has invested in him. He is the champ, largely because of them. With all due respect, Yoda, says H, he doesn’t think Jamie can appreciate the pressure of being the WWE WOrld Heavyweight Champion. GREEN SCREEN! Trips says that the title is pressure that none of them can understand. Kane knows what it’s like, right? The title can drive even a sane man crazy, and both of J&J know Seth’s schedule better than anyone. Steph says she wishes Seth was willing to go out and face Brock on his own, but clearly he’s asking for support and all The Authority wants J&J&K to do is hear him out.

Triple H: “Yoda.”

haha.

article topics :

RAW, WWE, Tony Acero