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September 3, 2015 | Posted by Tony Acero
WWE WWE Smackdown WWE’s Image Credit: WWE

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Guess whoooooosssssss baaaaccccckkkk!!!!!!


We’re in Miami, and we’ve got a riot here! New Day heads out with signs held high, picketing against the treatment of tables, and Those Damn Dudleys! We’ve got a #BOOTY sign that Big E has been trying to get over, a #savethetables that should withstand the test of time.

Woods claims that a table is a terrible thing to waste. Kofi says tables are the backbone of human acheivement, and they wouldn’t be where they are today if it weren’t for tables just like that bubble-wrapped one in the corner. Think of Thanksgiving…where was the first one at? A table! Big E says that the Declaration of Independence on….A TABLE! The moon landing was announced while sitting at a table! The New Day signed their contracts while they were at a table! Kofi remembers that!! Big E says that The Dudley Boys have zero regard for a table’s place in history, but we can change all of that.

SAVE THETABLES!
SAVE THETABLES!
SAVE THETABLES!

Nope! The Dudleys are here! D-Von says that he is sorry to interrupt this happy, feel-good moment, but he thinks that there is one moment with the tables that they forgot to tell the people. They have some footage. We get RAW from two weeks ago when Xavier Woods took his first 3D. Bubba says history has a way of repeating itself. They are going to beat New Day, take the titles, and The Dudley Boyz will beome the ten time tag team champions.

BLOW DA WHISTLE!!!

Titus and Darren Young are here! They have something to say about all this madnes. Titus is all smiles. He doesn’t know how they did things in the Attitude Era, but nowadays, you have to earn your keep. He and Darren have done way more than just that. They got a rematch, and as far as they’re concerned, The Dudleys have to get to the back of the line. D-Von takes offense, and wants Bubba to tell “this idiot” who they are. They’re The Dudley Boyz. They show up, put people through tables, and win championships. Titus has a gift for them. It’s two tickets…straight to Dudleyville, right about now.

Titus enters the ring, and they’re lookin to fight. A ref is in the ring. New Day is here for commentary.

Match 1: Prime Time Players vs The Dudley Boyz
Lockup between Darren Young and D-Von. Go behind from Young. D-Von reverses with an arm lock then a side headlock. Rope work ends in a shoulder tackle from D-Von and a pin for 1. NO! Young gets a pin of his own for 1. NOPE! Body slam from D-Von. Elbow drop, missed. Both men up! Ropes. Young with a spinning right hook. D-Von retaliates with a spinning elbow. They’re both up, and talk shit to each other. Titus enters the ring, and Bubba follows suit. They talk shit to each other into the commercial break.

Back, and New Day says that they are the new three man commentary team. In the ring, D-Von with an arm drag and a hold. Tag to Bubba, but Young is able to escape. Lock up with Bubba, and Darren is able to toss Bubba across the ring. Bubba is shocked. Another lockup, and Darren with the arm drag. Bubba is impressed again. Bubba sends Young in the corner, misses a hop. Young with a right hand, moves a block and hits another. He runs right into an elbow. Tag to D-Von. They hit a back suplex into a neckbreaker. Pin for 1…2.NO! D-Von hits the ropes and drops an elbow to the jaw. Pin again for 1…2..NO! D-Von with a cravat from behind. Elbows to the gut. He hits the ropes, but D-Von stops him with a clothesline. Pin for 1..2..NO! Headlock from D-Von and a tag to Bubba. Bubba with an elbow to the back. Right hand to Young, and this time Bubba has the upperhand. He hits another right to the head. One more, but Darren blocks. he kicks, Bubba holds it. Enziguri! Bubba won’t go down! Darren up. Bubba locks the hips from the side, then works the arm as Young reaches for a tag. He’s able to get it. In comes TItus. Clothesline, he sends D-Von off the apron. Titus with a right. Kick to the head! Bubba in the corner. Titus wit a splash then a body slam in the middle of the ring!

Titus with a whip, but Bubba hits a shoulder to the face, and tags in D-Von. 3D!!!!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!!
Official Result: The Dudley Boyz
Loved the way Bubba couldn’t get the upperhand on Young on his own. Little, but effective.
Rating: **

After the match, Kofi runs in the ring to slap D-Von in the back of the head as Woods and Big E head up the ramp with the bubble wrapped table.

Back, after an AJ gif, and New Day is marching along to the beat of Wood’s trombone. Renee Young comes up to ask how they feel about their match tonight. Kofi says that she must have them confused with someone else. Young informs them that they do, in fact, have a match tonight against Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose. They do not seem happy at all…

Ringside, Cody is being all weird and Stardusty. Neville’s music hits, and as he makes his way down the ramp, The Ascension come down and attack Neville!!! They beat down on him for a while, then send Neville into the ring. Cody stomps a bit then grabs a mic and wants to introduce his cohorts, The Ascension. Cody acts totally Joker-esque here, and I can’t help but love it. Fall of Humanity from The Ascension is hit on Neville. Cody welcomes us all to “The Cosmic Wasteland!”

Backstage, JoJo is standing around with Cesaro, just shootin the shit. She brings up Cesaro’s lost from RAW, and wants to know his mindset with tonight’s match against Sheamus. Cesaro says setbacks happen, but what matters is how you respond. He will respond by doing what he loves, going into the ring and competing. What better way than to do so with Sheamus. Sheamus enters the scene, and says Cesaro is going to be what he always is…good. Really, really good…just not good enough. Sheamus sees the signs, and he knows that fans are hoping and praying that Cesaro reaches the next level, but every week he lets them down. It’s like Cesaro is leading them on…and on…and on….

Cesaro says he’s glad Sheamus has been watching his stuff, because Sheamus could learn a thing or two. He also has to agree with the WWE Universe….Sheamus looks stupid.

We get an ad for WWE’s newest toys, Create a Superstar. I thought it was an ad for a new show, seemingly a revamped Tough Enough. I need a nap.

Recap of RAW last week where Cesaro hurt his ribs. He is now taped up.

Match 2: Sheamus vs Cesaro
The crowd chants that Sheamus looks stupid, so he heads out of the ring and grabs a mic. he has told us time and time again that he doesn’t look stupid, then tells a few members that they look stupid. He asks that we respect the hauk. Cesaro is outside, trying to get Sheamus back in. Sheamus heads in and Cesaro kicks him hard then enters the ring. Sheamus gets Cesaro in the corner, hits a right. Cesaro locks the arm and attacks the midsection then hits a hard clothesline. Cesaro from behind, he locks the left arm with the leg and fucks up Sheamus’ hair. Cesaro with a suplex. Sheamus sends Cesaro over the ropes, but Cesaro lands on the apron. He locks up for a suplex, but Sheamus hits the mid section and hngs the arm up on the ropes. Sheamus grabs the head and sends it directly into the corner.

We’re back after some stuff, and Sheamus sends Cesaro into the ropes. Knee to the ribs! Cesaro is hurting. Sheamus with a knee to the back, another. He drives it into the ribs this time and covers for 1…2.NO! Sheamus from behind, pulls back on the chin of Cesaro. Cesaro raises on his knees and tries to lift out of the hold. He turns. Back suplex. Hold is released! Both men on their knees. Sheamus with a right hand. They stand. Uppercut from Sheamus. Another. One more. Cesaro fires back with one! another! more! He hits a few more before sending Sheamus on the top rope and hitting another uppercut up high! He grabs the head and looks for a superplex, but Sheamus hits a few rights to the ribs! Cesaro drops. DROPKICK from bottom to the top rope! Sheamus tumbles outside. Cesaro follows, and runs with a hard uppercut! Cesaro sends Sheamus back in the ring. He hops to the top rope. CROSS BODY and a pin for 1….2…NO! Cesaro grabs Sheamus, but Sheamus hits a right to the gut. Cesaro with a right of his own. Big boot to the face. Whip to the corner is reversed. Sheamus with a shoulder to the gut then a running high knee. He hits the Irish Curse backbreaker and looks for the Cloverleaf. Sheamus locks it in! Cesaro turns the hold into a roll up for 1…2..NO! Sheamus with another Iri—-NO! CESARO flips out of that shit like a G and locks in the Crossface!!!!! Wow!! Elbows to the ribs from Sheamus, so Cesaro just stomps his ass hard. Both men up. Cesaro runs in the corner with an uppercut. Rights and lefts cause Sheamus to drop.

Knees into the chest by Cesaro. The ref holds him back. Sheamus takes advantage and hits a Brogue Kick from out of the corner, over the head of the ref! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: Sheamus
As hard-hitting and awesome as one would expect.
Rating: ***1/2

Backstage, Miz is drinking the blood of virgins.

Miz TV is…NOW. Miz says that RAW turned into Days of Our Lives, and we get a recap of Rusev vs Ziggler from Monday Night, complete with Summer Rae’s junk viewing.

Before he brings out Dolph and Lana, Miz wants to bring out the real victim first…Summer Rae. Summer comes out with a horrible pout. She takes a seat, sporting a rough-looking black eye. Miz wants her to tell us what happened between her and DOlph. She calls Monday Night unfortunate. Dolph invited her to his locker room to what she thought would be a hatchet burial. Summer lied. Miz is shocked. So everything from RAW was a lie? Summer says no, that all happened…but there’s more. Miz says that this is a safe haven, and she can let us know what happened. She says that when she entered the locker room, he brought her close in his arms and kissed Summer. Miz instigates gloriously. Summer says that instantly it went from passion to…guilt because she has the most amazing man in the world, and Dolph Ziggler seduced her. The crying without tears is fierce.

Ziggler has heard enough. He and Lana are out. Miz understands their urge to tell their side, but she wants everyone to know that this is a classy show and to calm down. Summer already has a black eye, so he wants everyone to conduct themselves like adults. Miz wants to talk to Dolph. What does he have to say for himself…

Dolph says just like Miz main eventing Mania, no one here is buying it. Lana and Dolph trust each other. Miz asks if she trusts Dolph. Summer tells Lana not to be naive. Summer says that her and Dolph have had something going for a while now. Dolph disagrees. Summer didn’t think she had to sink this low, but there’s something Lana needs to see. We go back to 2014 when Summer Rae broke up with Fandango to make out with Dolph. Lana looks on, angrily. Dolph tries to explain himself. Miz calls this a terrible situation. Summer says what was it? Last Thursday? last Friday pushed against the glass at the Sheradon? Or….LANA is done. She rushes towards Summer and knocks her on her ass. Dolph tries to stop her but Lana pushes him off of her and heads out of the ring. Summer screams that she can’t handle the truth. Dolph follows Lana up the ramp, seemingly to save his booty.

Footage of Bo Dallas getting his ass handed to him is played before his match. R-Truth is laughing his ass off while the crowd chants Suplex City.

Match 3: Bo Dallas vs R-Truth
Lockup and Bo is mad. He corners Truth and hits a few rights then some knees. Truth shoots out of the corner towards the legs and mounts for some rights. Both men up and Truth hits a couple of rights. Side headlock, but Bo hits a back suplex. He knees Bo’s head hard, then turns him over and drops knees to the face a few times. Pin for 1…NO! Knee to the back of Truth on the ropes. Bo goes for a back suplex. Hits it. Pin for 1..2..NO! Cravat from behind. Truth is able to stand up out of the hold, turn and hit a right to the gut. Knee from Bo. Hits the ropes. Clothesline from Truth. Another. Kick to the gut. Truth hits the ropes and goes for the axe kick, but Bo moves. Truth with a heel kick and a cover for 1…2..NO!

Truth in the corner. He runs and goes for a splash, but Bo moves. kick from Bo, and he uses the ropes to assist with an STO. Pin for 1…2…NO!
Official Result: Bo Dallas
OK…
Rating: *

Bo isn’t done. He goes on the attack. Locks the head, and places Truth on the ropes again. We get another reverse STO off the ropes.

Recap of Divas stuff. I can’t even call it a recap considering it’s about as short as all the matches from RAW.

Backstage, Renee Young is with Team PCB. She brings up Charlotte being #1 Contender. Charlotte is super excited, but honestly she wouldn’t be there today if it wasn’t for her teammates. Paige says that before the Divas Revolution, the Bellas were dominant, but now the bullseye is finally on Nikki and the championship. It’s about time. Even though her and Becky couldn’t be #1 Contender, she’s happy that Charlotte is. Becky says that Paige and Becky will be cheering on Charlotte. Charlotte says that Nikki is champ for a reason, but she wants the belt, too, and she is going to do it with style, grace, and a little bit of Flair.

Nikki and Co are here. She says that Charlotte is right, she may have won and become #1 Contender, but that’s not what matters. What matters is the Bellatron, and it’s only a matter of time before she becomes the longest reigning Divas Champion in history.

Charlotte says, about that, she petitioned for a title match…BEFORE Nikki breaks the record. Niki says that Charlotte can’t do it – “that is not legal.”

Match 4: Tamina vs Charlotte
Charlotte hits the ropes for no discernable reason. Lockup to start. Tamina shoves Charlotte away hard. Tamina calls for a test of strength. Charlotte locks fingers, and Tamina works the arm. Charlotte is overmatched, but shoves the shoulders forward. They are locked up for a second more. Tamina with a hard clothesline. Pin for 1….2..NO! Tamina lifts Charlotte. Chop to the chest.Headbutt from Tamina. Kick from Tamina. Tamina shoves the boot to the neck of Charlotte in the corner. Tamina grabs the head. Snapmare. Kick to the back of Charlotte. Whip to the corner. Tamina runs right into an elbow. Charlotte with a kick out of the corner! Chops from Charlotte.

Neckbreaker from Charlotte. SPEAR from Charlotte! She hits Natural Selection. Pin for 1…2..NO!!!
Official Result: Charlotte
Relatively bland.
Rating: *1/2

After the win, Team Bella come to the top of the ramp to…..

um…

well…

to do nothing.

After a recap of Cena/Sting/Rollins RAW fun, we get an interview with Kevin Owens where he says that he happily destroyed the Cesaro movement and has his sights set on another movement. There seems to be a bunch of people talking about how he looks, and that’s going to stop right now. For those that make fun of him for how he looks, he says bring it on. In fact, he says….FEED ME MORE. Interesting….

Match 5: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns vs New Day
Kofi and Dean to start. They lock fingers. Kofi with a kick to break it. He’s all smiles. Another lock up .Dean with the go-behind and a side headlock. Rope work and Dean hits a shoulder tackle. He hops over, Kofi with the leap frog. Kofi tries an arm drag, but Dean locks it and hits the gut, sending Kofi down. Dean hits the ropes and drops an elbow. Kofi works the arm, hits a right, tags in Big E. Big E with a ight hand. Whip to the ropes. Ambrose with a kick. He locks Big E up for a suplex, but Big E reverses, only for Dean to float over. Tag to Reigns. Double Suplex to Big E. Roman with a pin for 1…2..NO! Right hand to Big E. Another. Kicks in the corner to Big E. Reigns whips Big E. Reversed. He runs into a belly to belly by Big E. Big E claps along while Woods berates Reigns in the heel corner. He blows the Trombone a bit. Tag to Kofi and he stomps. Tag to E. Stomps. Woods plays the bone along with the stomps. Some more TAPS as Kofi gets whipped into the corner with a dropkick to Reigns. Kofi with the rest hold from behin.d Reigns stands and turns into it and Kofi with a knee. Tag to Big E who hits a right to the face. Big E runs with a splash in the corner. E with a right hand to Reigns, who is sort of dangling on the ropes. Big E hits the ropes. HARD CLOTHESLINE FROM ROMAN REIGNS! Tag to Ambrose! Ambrose runs in with a splash in the middle of the ring. Right hands. He sends Big E into the corner. Kicks! Ambrose hops off the corner and runs back wit a splash. Running Bulldog. Kofi comes in the ring, but Ambrose sends him directly into a huge clothesline from Reigns! Kofi spins in the air. Clothesline to Big E, sending him to the outside. Ambrose sees all three outside. He hops to the top rope and drops an elbow to all of them!!

Back, after a break, and Kofi hits a huge kick to Ambrose in the middle of the ring. Kofi with a resthold. Ambrose tries to fight out. Woods talks shit. “I HAVE A TROMBONE!” Haha. Ambrose rolls out of the hold, but Kofi hits a dropkick, and covers for 1…2…NO! Tag to Big E. E comes in and hits a big BOOTY splash in the middle of the ring. Pin for 1…2..NO! Big E locks in the abdominal stretch. He hits a hard right to the abs . Dean tumbles into the corner. Right hands to the gut from Big E. He calls for a splash, but runs into some boots. Ambrose goes up top. Big E tries to stop him with some rights. He joins Ambrose up top and locks up for a Belly to Belly. Dean grabs the nose though and headbutts Big E a few times, sending him back down. Ambrose with a missile dropkick! Ambrose tries to kip up but can’t due to the pain. He kicks away Big E and tags in Reigns. Tag to Kofi! Right hand! Reigns goes for a Samoan Drop but instead drops Kofi and hits an uppercut. Right hand to Big E! Samoan Drop to Kofi!! He tosses Kofi in the corner like nothing! A few clotheslines later, and he sends Big E off the apron. Reigns with a hard clothesline sending Kofi down. Reigns calls for the Superman Punch, but Woods is on the apron to distract. Kofi goes for a rollup for 1..2…NO! Reigns with a rollup, almost a pin, but he lifts up Kofi and drops him. Pin, but Big E breaks it up. Ambrose enters, gets tossed to the ropes, bounces off, and clotheslines Big E! Suicide Dive from Ambrose!

In the ring, Reigns runs right into a kick in the corner from Kofi. Kofi with a springboard….right into a Superman Punch!!!! Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Woods runs in for the distraction and disqualification!
Official Result: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns via DQ
Fun.
Rating: **1/2

Ambrose rushes in. Dirty Deeds to Woods!! Big E enters.AMbrose ducks a right, and Reigns hits a Spear!!! Ambrose grabs Woods and places him ever so lightly on Reigns shoulders. Powerbomb!

Ambrose on the mic. He says that felt pretty good. Damned good. Dean says he isn’t done yet. He doesn’t care if it’s crazy or stupid, but he wants another crack at that big ol black sheep and The Wyatt Family. Reigns wants to know if Miami wants to see more. Reigns calls The Wyatts out. Wyatt on the screen. He says…Let’s do this…but at Night of Champions. It will be their Doomsday. Wyatt asks if they can hear the footsteps. The Apocalypse walks among you in the form of a black sheep. RUN!

End Show

See you guys Monday Night!!!

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Smackdown, WWE, Tony Acero