Csonka’s Impact Slammiversary Preview

– Welcome back to column time with Larry. Today’s column is all about Slammiversary. I want to make something clear, I have covered “TNA/Impact Wrestling” since day one. The promotion holds a special place in my heart, because when they came along I was in a bad place as fan. I lost WCW, I lost ECW, WWE was doing nothing for me and I just didn’t have the money to acquire other wrestling and tape trading was fading. Making the decision to invest in TNA allowed me to fall in love with a whole generation of performers I am still watching today, it was a gateway for me to get into companies like ROH & PWG; the choice to look into this new company gave me something that I needed, and through out the years I have constantly looked for and got into new things every few years to keep my fandom fresh; Japan, Lucha, CHIKARA, EVOLVE have all been part of my fandom because I made the choice to expand my wrestling pallet.

I wanted to drop that open because I want it to be clear that I have followed the company for its entire life span and am here to give it a fair and balanced preview. TNA Impact Wrestling is celebrating their latest anniversary, are doing it under a new name and have even absorbed Global Force Wrestling under the leadership of The Anthem Owl and one of the smartest workers in all of wrestling, Jeff Jarrett. A man who not only got himself back into a position of power but finally made use of what ever it was he had left of Global Force Wrestling. I think that everyone knows the story, the bottom line is that one of Impact’s big PPVs of the year is about to take place so today I will preview the card…

Hang on a second, we have an important message from TNA & GFW founder Jeff Jarrett before we begin…

FEEL THE FORCE SLAP NUTS I WON!

Moose & DeAngelo Williams vs. Eli Drake & Chris Adonis: In a move that is nothing new to pro wrestling, Impact is going to the pro football/celebrity well in hopes of getting a SportsCenter moment one on their big PPVs of the year. On tap is former Panthers & Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams. Williams claims to be a big fan of wrestling, is friends with Moose and has been putting in work with Coach D’Amore to ensure he is prepared to compete. With D’Amore training him and his enthusiasm for wrestling, Williams should be fine to compete. Some have complained about this because Williams is a football player. I have no issue with that, in the past guys like Lawrence Taylor and Kevin Greene have stepped into the ring and have been either perfectly fine or even at times good. If there is anything to complain about, it’s the fact that Impact has no clue how to work the Grand Championship gimmick with any excitement or sense of purpose and the fact that Eli Drake, a guy that appeared to have some great momentum, feels like just another under card guy. Hopefully Drake can put in a good performance, make Williams look great and then get rewarded with an actual direction after the PPV. Moose & DeAngelo Williams should win, and all things considered, I’d make it count and have Williams pin Adonis, who papers to be sleepwalking through his Impact run. WINNERS: Moose & DeAngelo Williams

Jeremy Borash & Joseph Park vs. Josh Mathews & Scott Steiner: I have found the Impact Wrestling product to be really solid in the build to Slammiversary, but if there’s one thing that has not been enjoyable or good in any way, it has been the Borash vs. Mathews feud. In no way do I find Josh Mathews useless, but I do find him to be a poor announcer and feel that the whole heel announcer has been horrible, just like it was with Michael Cole and had dominated too much of the Impact programming. I really hope that one this is all finished that Mathews is transitioned into a heel manager role. I have said this many times, his over the top douche bag persona would be perfect for a manager’s role and I think that he could excel there. The big tease on the go home show, which I am sure everyone expected, is that Park at some point will transform into/appear as Abyss and go fucking nuts and kill people. The key here is for this not to go too long, and for them to not try and make this an actual wrestling match. Get in, get out, shoot the angle, have Park get busted open and Abyss appear. Once he does and brings out Janice, Steiner cuts and bails because he isn’t getting killed for a geek like Mathews; Park beats Mathews down and Borash scores to e pin to end our suffering. WINNERS: Jeremy Borash & Joseph Park

Strap Match: James Storm vs. EC3: The Storm vs. EC3 feud is a good one, with Storm looking at one last chance at glory and having to beat the entitled EC3 to get there. On the other hand, EC3 looks at Storm as a relic of the past, and looks at himself as the future. EC3 hates hearing about the old dinosaurs that used to roam TNA, he wants the title and wants Impact Wrestling to be all about him. To do that he has to kill off the final remaining TNA original and add to his hit list of guys like Sting, Bully Ray and Angle that he battled. The whipping that EC# gave Storm was one of the more brutal and violent “non-death match” beatings I have seen in a long time; the images of Storm’s back were almost disturbing. I have faith that they can have a good match, but when you throw in the strap match stipulation, things take an odd turn. Not everyone can pull off a good strap match, and they will have to be very careful in how they lay out and execute this. I hope that they work it like Page & Kazarian recently did at ROH BITW, which is work it more like a Texas Whipping Match, where each man have a strap attacked to their wrist, they aren’t tethered and there is no four corner bullshit. I fee that the Texas Whipping Match rules allow for a better flow, more options and an overall better match. The match is in Storm’s wheelhouse, as he’s worked several in TNA that have been quality matches. But I feel that EC3 should and needs to win here, so the more traditional tethered and touch the corners rules play into a dodgy heel like finish to screw over Storm better. EC3 should win, become the #1 contender by doing so and move onto challenge the Champion, which is likely Patron when the show is over. WINNER: EC3

Full Metal Mayhem: Davey Richards and Angelina Love vs. Eddie and Alisha Edwards: If I am being completely honest here, I think that we would have been better off with this being a one on one big time stipulation match between Davey & Eddie. Angelina love is in no way a good wrestler, and hasn’t had a good match in forever. Sure the gimmick will help and Alisha seems game judging by the bumps and punishment she’s taken, but I feel that while they have been a good addition to the story, I am not sure that they will add to the match quality. I hope that working with her husband and friends motivates Love here, because I want thins to be great. I feel that Richards and Love have dominated the feud and that they should receive their comeuppance on Sunday; from there you can move Love and Alisha into the knockouts division to add some variety and then Davey & Eddie should move onto title programs, bolstering the Grand Championship Division at first, because it needs it and also because their style fits what that division should be. WINNERS: Eddie and Alisha Edwards

Impact Wrestling Knockouts Champion Match: Knockouts Champion Rosemary vs. GFW Champion Sienna: Rosemary vs. Sienna is a match with a lot of potential, due to the performers involved. Rosemary has been great, despite her uneven booking and loss of Decay. But the fall of Decay should allow her to shine even more than she did as part of the stable. My worry here is that they get short changed on time and that the match will be completely overbooked with interference from KM, Lauren Van Ness, Braxton Sutter and Allie; they have been intertwined for a long while, almost since the wedding angle in some way or another. In the past unless you’re Gail Kim, you don’t get time or properly featured, and I hope that it has changed, because these women deserve a chance to shine on the show and Rosemary should be a bigger star than she has been presented as so far. I’d go with the Rosemary win, and eventual feud with Allie, with I feel the have been low-key setting the table for with their fun interactions. They have a great history of working together on the independents and would love to see that feud hit a bigger stage. WINNER: Knockouts Champion Rosemary

Tag Team Title Match: Champions LAX vs. El Hijo del Fantasma and Drago vs. Naomichi Marufuji and Taiji Ishimori vs. Garza Jr and Laredo Kid: Call 911 because I am officially fired the fuck up for this match. On paper this looks to be a hard-hitting, fast paced, ass-kicking match with obvious show stealing potential. LAX have been great as champions, Garza Jr and Laredo Kid have been a good team and have gotten to wok with LAX a few times, I am a huge fan of El Hijo del Fantasma and Drago and Naomichi Marufuji and Taiji Ishimori just made it even better. There are only two things that will ruin this match, and that is Impact agenting/lack of time or inter-promotional politics. I hope that they have everything tied up in a nice little bow and that we avoid these issues, because I am really excited for this. El Hijo del Fantasma and Drago & Naomichi Marufuji and Taiji Ishimori are set to work the post Slammiversary TV tapings, and due to that being the case and with Impact looking to further secure these relationships, I could see a title change happening here. That would allow for a bit of buzz and then they could build the next few weeks of TV around the teams feuding and battling over the titles, which gives the TV some fresh matches and a nice focal point for a few weeks of TV. This is the match I am most looking forward to. WINNERS: Naomichi Marufuji and Taiji Ishimori

Best of Three Falls X-Division Championship Match: Champion Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki: Sonjay Dutt and Low Ki were brought back to the company with hope of regaining some of the old X-Division magic, as the new Jarrett regime realized that the division the company was built on was woefully treated and almost left for dead. There was talent on the roster, but they were rarely put in a position to succeed. Since the reboot, and Ki & Dutt’s return (along with Sydal) there has been a better focus, more attention paid to them and X-Division started to feel like the X-Division again. An accidental kick by Ki ended up being the set up for this feud, with Dutt looking for revenge and getting a title shot in India. The two had a good match that resulted in a better post match moment with Dutt finally winning the title that eluded him for 14-years. The two certainly are talented enough to have a great match, but the stipulation worries me a bit as 2 out of 3 fall matches tend not o be constructed well in the modern era. If the layout is good and they can find that extra gear that was missing from the first match, then they should deliver. I see Low Ki ending the happy days of Dutt here, with the 2 of 3 falls stipulation being here to allow Dutt to pick up a win and look strong is a loss, while Ki regains the gold and works into a feud with Matt Sydal, who looks to be the next man up.WINNER: Low Ki

Champion vs. Champion: Impact Champion Bobby Lashley vs. GFW Champion Alberto el Patron: On paper, this champion vs. champion unification match is a big deal, but I can’t say that I am excited for it. Their first match, back on March 9th was pretty good until the complete overbooking and false win by Patron, that led to him having to give up the title. It’s no secret that the plan has been to make Patron the guy. But he’s an extremely inconsistent performer, doing well when it suits him, but phoning it in otherwise. I feel that he will be motivated here since I am almost certain that he wins the title and becomes “the top guy” in the company. But I am very concerned with the potential over booking of the match. Jarrett & company have done a great job of hyping the PPV, with great hype videos, and an increased media presence leading into the show. But a trademark of past Jarrett regimes has been horribly overbooked main events; with the seconds being out there and Jarrett’s history, this worries me. Lashley has been a great champion, booked really well and has been one of the most interesting champions the company has ever had. He delivered big time last year with Galloway, and if he brings that same fire here, if Patron is motivated, and if they avoid the overbooking, I think that they will succeed. I see Patron winning to become “the top guy” the company wants, leading to a feud with EC3. WINNER: GFW Champion Alberto el Patron

JOIN 411 SUNDAY NIGHT AT 7:30 PMET FOR OUR LIVE SLAMMIVERSARY COVERAGE!

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”