Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 3.16.17
Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 3.16.17
– Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid defeated Eli Drake and Tyrus @ 11:00 via pin [**½]
– #1 Contender’s Match: Alberto El Patron defeated EC3 @ 21:55 via submission [***]
– X-Division Title Match: Champion Trevor Lee defeated Suicide, Braxton Sutter and Andrew Everett @ 12:50 via pin [***½]
– We get highlights from last week’s, in my opinion, failed reboot.
– El Patron is out so that they can talk about last week’s Duty Finish.
Alberto El Patron Talks: El Patron says that he loves this place because he can be himself and do what he wants. How long until he gets mad and misses dates because he’s unhappy with the booking? Any way he says that this is his house and beat the man everyone said was impossible to beat when he defeated Lashley. He proved himself to the fans and that he deserved to be their champion. He would be the champion if it weren’t for “wrestling politics.” Apparently that’s code for bad booking. EC3 disputes this claim and makes his way to the ring. EC3 mockingly said that patron made a big impact and then gave up the title since he won through nefarious means. EC3 has an idea, since patron needs to prove himself; he challenges Patron to a #1 contender’s match. Patron says he wants Lashley and has been promised a match with Lashley, and EC3 is not Lashley. Patron says the fans want to see him vs. Lashley Patron blows off EC3 and bails. EC3says he thought Patron was “a bad hombre” and then accuses him of having no testicles. Patron then said he was here for the big dog, not the bitch. They end up brawling and security is out to break them up. Good intensity from both guys here, the crowd in into it and wants them to fight and Patron accepts the challenge. Good open to the show, I loathe that they did the Dusty Finish, but thought patron’s promo came off well and it got better when he and EC3 had their back and forth. I do hate that we went right back to the show opening promo after last week’s show had the fresh brawl to kick things off, they need to do other creative ways to start the show and not settle back into the promo; it’s one of WWE’s biggest crimes on wrestling, convincing others that you have to start a show with people talking.
– I won’t say that the announcing so far is good, but it’s tone down in week two and doesn’t make me want to kill myself, so that’s an improvement.
– We go “inside a booking meeting” where they discuss the tag title situation, and Decay ending up with the titles.
– We go back into the arena, Borash confirms EC3 vs. Patron. He and Mathews argue, before we see a video package for Drake & Tyrus.
Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid vs. Eli Drake and Tyrus: Kid and Drake started things off, Kid used his speed and then worked the arm before tagging in Garza. Drake tried to cut him off, but Garza sent him to the floor and hit a suicide dive; Kid followed with a big moonsault to the floor. Back in and drake rushed Kid to the corner, Tyrus tagged in and played brick wall, slamming Kid to the mat as we took a break. Mathews’ commentary is already annoying here, the gimmick is no good because it hurts the new guys that they should be putting over as much as possible. Post match, Tyrus worked the heat on Kid; Drake tagged in and beat him down. Drake & Tyrus worked quick tags, keeping the heat on Kid and scoring a few near falls. The heat is solid; Tyrus finally missed a charge and then an elbow drop. Garza got the hit tag, picked up the pace and ran wild. Drake accidentally hit Tyrus, but he still worked over both Kid and Garza. Drake wanted the tag, but Tyrus was too slow and Garza rolled up drake for the win. Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid defeated Eli Drake and Tyrus @ 11:00 via pin [**½] Really odd choice to debut two flyers against Drake and Tryus. They got the win, which is nice, but they didn’t get a chance to really show what they could do, and of course, commentary made sure not to put over the win in any way. I also get that they need to push new guys, but beating Drake felt like a very poor choice, especially when Tyrus is right there. The match was solid.
– Mathews quickly dismisses the victory by Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid as a fluke, making sure to not put them over in any way.
– We get highlights of Moose, Edwards and Storm in NOAH.
— IMPACT WRESTLING (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 17, 2017
– Cody says that Brandi will not be wrestling, because the company will no longer pimp out the Rhodes name. Cody gives her $45 ($20 more than she would get paid he says). Cody then runs down Moose, Cody runs down Moose for being in Japan and then claims he is Japan. He challenges Moose for an Impact Grand Championship match. Cody takes Brandi to the back.
– Rosemary arrived post break and beat down Kayci Quinn. Quinn tried to fight back, but Rosemary hit red wedding to stand tall. EMTs checked on Quinn.
– Mathews and Borash argue; Pope looks completely annoyed.
Alberto El Patron vs. EC3: They brawled at the bell and spilled to the floor for more brawling. EC3 posted Patron, but he quickly fought back, posting EC3. Post break, Patron came off the top, but caught him on the way down and then worked him over. Good control by EC3 until Patron sent him shoulder first to the post. Patron then followed to the floor, slamming EC3’s arm off the steps, and then worked the hanging arm bar in the ropes. Patron then took the heat, grounding EC3 and working the arm to set up the arm bar. EC3 slowly fired up, hitting clotheslines with the good arm and then the corner splash followed. EC3 set for the one percenter, but Patron fought it off and then got sent to the floor. EC3 followed and repeatedly slammed Patron off of the announcer’s table. EC3 looked to keep control, but Patron hit an enziguri to send him crashing to the floor. Post break, EC3 was beating down Patron, but quickly got cut off with clotheslines. The back stabber followed, but EC3 fought off the arm bar, only for Patron to post him and hit the single arm DDT. Patron up top, but EC3 crotched him and followed him up. He looked for the superplex, but Patron fought him of and looked for the double stomp but EC3 tossed him off the ropes. EC3 then hit the TKO, but was slow to cover due to the arm. EC3 hit another TKO, but took time to stare at Patron; he then dropped to the floor and grabbed a chair. He teased using the chair, but stopped and dropped the chair. EC3 then picked up patron, but Patron fired up and locked in the arm bar and EC3 had to tap. Alberto El Patron defeated EC3 @ 21:55 via submission [***] This was a good match, with Patron appearing more motivated than in his match with Lashley. Unfortunately the finish felt impossibly stupid as EC3 has been diagnosed with dumb babyface syndrome. EC3 gets the chair, and then has enough time to grab a protein shake and get a few sets of crunches in before dropping it and losing. I did like that they put this in the middle of the show, because with the main event spot you can feel the finish coming, but here there was more doubt, which I appreciated. This EC3 constantly failing needs to lead to a heel turn to really freshen him up and to bring the story full circle.
– Post match patron offered respect to EC3 and clapped for him and then said that EC3 gave him one of the best matches of his career. They shook hands.
– Reno SCUM cut a promo; they’re here to be tag team champions.
– EC3 threw a fit backstage about his loss.
– Borash teases “she” will be here next week.
– We get a really well done Suicide video package, it felt like a teaser trailer for a videogame movie and that is most certainly a compliment.
Champion Trevor Lee vs. Suicide vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Andrew Everett: Caleb Konley is playing Suicide tonight. Allie is out with Sutter, Helms is out with Lee. They brawled at the bell, with fast and furious action and lots of pinning attempts and some great athletic displays. Suicide got to run wild a bit taking out Everett and Sutter and sending them to the floor. Lee would cut him off and then toss him to the floor. Everett then hit the springboard shooting star pres to the floor (he over shot a bit and hit the barricade, which had to suck) and we took a break. Post break, Lee and Everett continued their feud; Helms distracted Everett allowing Lee to hit a superman punch. It broke down, with Lee, Everett and Suicide all in and Lee controlling as Sutter takes a nap on the floor. Suicide worked the octopus hold, and transitioned into a cradle for 2. Lee tossed him to the floor, Sutter returned and went back and forth with Lee. Suicide took control over Lee and then Everett hit Suicide & Sutter with kicks. Everett up top, Suicide cuts him off and then everyone joins in for an innovative version of the tower of doom. Drunk and disorderly Lauren van Ness, eating left over wedding cake arrives and tries to attack Allie, distracting Sutter. Lee then hit Sutter with a knee strike to retain. Champion Trevor Lee defeated Suicide, Braxton Sutter and Andrew Everett @ 12:50 via pin [***½] As a match, this was a ton of fun and overall very good; the type of match (action wise and time wise) they need to let these guys have. My only complaints are that they need to stop over relying on the multi-man matches and I absolutely hate that anyone and everyone gets a title shot due to the fact that they only seem to do multi-man matches.
– Sienna arrived and basically promised to execute Allie, she was good here. This pleased Laurel
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE TAG TEAM TITLES?: Bruce Prichard arrived and said that titles do not change hand in space or on the Internet. In two weeks, the top four teams will fight to crown new champions. Decay, who have physical possession of the titles, arrived. They introduced themselves to Prichard. They rescued the tiles from space an time, and want what they deserve. Reno SCUM then arrive, they claimed that they shocked the world by beating DCC and they deserve the titles. Garza Jr & Laredo Kid then arrive. They are also here for the titles and they all brawl. BUT WAIT… the new LAX (consisting of Angel Ortiz and Mike Draztik [EYFBO] and Angel Rose) arrive and hit the ring. Konnan and Homicide first came out but were a distraction. LAX put on the big beat down, with Homicide hitting Steve with a gringo killer. The angle was perfectly fine, but the return of LAX felt like a great moment with a ton of energy and a great beat down. Konnan and Homicide being involved is cool and a great link to LAX’s past and should hopefully help Angel Ortiz and Mike Draztik get over.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.