Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 4.13.17
Csonka’s Impact Review 4.13.17
– Reno Scum defeated Decay and Laredo Kid & Garza Jr @ 6:04 via pin [**¾]
– Braxton Sutter & Allie defeated Sienna & KM @ 3:57 via pin [*]
– Non-Title Match: Champion Rosemary defeated Santana Garrett @ 4:55 via pin [**¾]
– Andrew Everett defeated Marshe Rockett, Suicide and Gregory Shane Helms @ 6:20 via pin [***]
– Davey Richards defeated DJ Z @ 3:23 via submission [**]
– Team Borash vs. Team Mathews: Team Borash: Alberto El Patron, Magnus, Matt Morgan, Chris Adonis defeated Team Mathews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake & Tyrus @ 14:30 via pin [**½]
– We get highlights from last week’s show.
– We then get a video package for “The Veterans of War” (Crimson & Gunner) and then a video package for “Fury,” set to debut tonight.
Reno Scum (Adam Thornstowe & Luster the Legend) vs. Decay (Abyss & Crazzy Steve) vs. Laredo Kid & Garza Jr: YAY a match to start the show. Rosemary is out with Decay. Laredo Kid started off with Thornstowe, he used his speed to take the advantage and tagged in Garza. Legend then tagged in, did some back and forth with Garza. Steve sent him to the floor, and Rosemary helped him attack Garza. Back in and Steve grounded Garza before tagging Abyss in. Abyss slowed the pace, clubbing away at Garza and then hitting a corner splash. Decay worked quick tags, keeping the heat on Garza and isolating him on their corner. Garza managed a jawbreaker and as he picked up the pace they did a double down. Abyss took the ref as Rosemary pulled Laredo Kid to the floor, but Garza tagged in Legend. He ran wild for a bit, hitting a spinebuster on Steve but Abyss made the save. Abyss and Legend went back and forth with some hoss brawling, Abyss then hit the chokeslam but Laredo Kid flew in and hit a missile dropkick. He got cut off, Thornstowe hit a suicide dive and Steve worked over Garza in the tree of WHOA; Legend then hit the razor’s edge on Steve into Garza, Scum then hit the double team double stomp and picked up the win. Reno Scum defeated Decay and Laredo Kid & Garza Jr @ 6:04 via pin [**¾] Pretty good match to kick off the show, they kept things moving and the pacing never really slowed. Scum picks up the win, and may have earned a title shot.
– Andrew Everett wanted an X-Division title shot and Helms declined, noting that Everett had to win again; Helms announced Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs… Gregory Shane Helms. Helms wasn’t planning on wrestling, but Everett tricked him into it, calling him scared.
Bruce Prichard Talks: Prichard makes his way to the ring and has “poll results” to determine the #1 contender for Lashley’s title. Next week, the winner of the voting will get a title shot, and that man is James Storm. He beat out EC3 and Matt Morgan. EC3 is now out, he looks like he has issues with this. EC3 tells Prichard to read the results again, so he does, and guess what? It’s still James Storm. EC3 doesn’t know or trust Prichard, and knows the fans know that he’s the top man in Impact; he feels that the system is rigged. Prichard says that they took his suggestion, they put the choice in the hands of the people, and the people didn’t choose EC3, they chose Storm. EC3 runs down all that he’s done for Impact, makes fun of Prichard’s shirt, and Prichard suggests that EC3 goes backstage, look into a mirror, and ask yourself what you should do and ask what happened to EC3. Prichard says EC3 was the man in Impact, and reminds him that he tapped out to Patron. So look in the mirror, ask yourself, did you tap out on a match or on yourself. EC3 looks sad and thanks Prichard, and says he will figure out what he has to do to prove what he is capable of. Throw another log on the fire that is the slow burn to the EC3 heel turn, if that is the end game, then the segment is another good step in getting there, and is a destination that EC3 needs to arrive at soon.
– Karen Jarrett talks about making Impact great, and puts over the Jarrett family big time.
Braxton Sutter & Allie vs. Sienna & KM: Sutter and KM started things off as Mathews strolled back to ringside. Sutter controlled until Sienna tripped him up. KM yelled a lot and then slowly worked over Sutter. KM stepped on the face of Sutter, but Sutter fought back with chops, and then suplexed KM to the corner. Sienna cuts off Sutter, but misses a charge and Allie tags in and works over Sienna, hitting a clothesline and corner charge. She tries for a high cross, catches Allie, but trips over KM, allowing Allie to win. Braxton Sutter & Allie defeated Sienna & KM @ 3:57 via pin [*] There wasn’t much to this, it had no flow, KM isn’t every good and the finish felt very flat if not silly. At least the Kongo Kong debut was solid.
– Kongo Kong “The Fury” arrives and Sutter tries to attack, but Kong kicks his ass and hits the Samoan drop. Kong then hit a cannonball; Kong then posed with KM and Sienna. Laurel Van Mess then arrived and beat down Allie; she’s still in her wedding dress and a glorious mess.
Non-Title Match: Champion Rosemary vs. Santana Garrett: Rosemary charged at the bell, but Garrett used her speed and countered Rosemary several times, scoring near falls. Garrett hit a lucha arm drag, but Rosemary grabbed he air and then worked a tarantula in the ropes. Rosemary then started to beat on her, but missed a charge, allowing Garrett to hit a head scissors. Rosemary then hit the clothesline to cut her off, the corner clothesline and XPLODER followed; Rosemary then tried to choke Garrett out, but Garrett made the ropes. Garrett countered out of red wedding, and followed with clotheslines and the back handspring elbow and Russian leg sweep for 2. Rosemary then hit a dropkick to the corner, went up top but Garrett cut her off and hit a head scissors off the ropes. Rosemary avoided the handspring moonsault, hit red wedding and picked up the win. Champion Rosemary defeated Santana Garrett @ 4:55 via pin [**¾] This was pretty good, Garrett surprisingly got a lot in, and gave Rosemary more of a fight than she anticipated. They did some nice things here, kept the action moving well and it was good to see Rosemary get some match time on Impact. I wish they would re-sign Garrett and allow her to be more herself instead of forcing her into horrible angles with Sam Shaw.
– Davey Richards and Angelina Love make out backstage. Love says they have no remorse for what they did to Edwards and Alisha last week, because they deserve what they got.
Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs. Gregory Shane Helms: helms came out dressed in his street clothes, with knee pads over his jeans like he’s set for a 1980s Crocket bunkhouse brawl. Helms ran to the floor at the bell, allowing the other three to fight it out. Lee tripped up Everett, but the ref then sent him to the back Everett sent Rockett to the floor, and Suicide hit his Nestea plunge onto him. Helms tripped up Everett, rolled in the ring and beat on Everett a bit and then rolled back to the floor. Helms even sneaked back in and rolled up Suicide for 2. Rockett worked over Everett in the corner. but Suicide cut him off and then attacked both cuts and rook control. Rockett cut him off with a big boot, but Everett wiped him out with a springboard spin kick, but he walked into the Suicide solution. Helms back in, takes off the jacket, and starts to wok over Everett, but Everett fires up with clotheslines, hits the running elbow but Helms rakes the eyes. Everett sends Helms to the floor, it breaks down with Rockett hitting gourd busters. Rockett up top, misses the high cross and Suicide hits him with the lionsault, but walks into a PELE by Everett. Everett up top, hits the shooting star press on Rockett to pick up the win. Andrew Everett defeated Marshe Rockett, Suicide and Gregory Shane Helms @ 6:20 via pin [***] Good match, but they desperately need to get away from the multi-man X-Division matches. I thought that his was a smart use of Helms, who did way more than anticipated, and his actions played well into the story of throwing another roadblock in the way of Everett. The only advantage to the multi-man format here was that it allowed Helms’ involvement, with out asking too much of him.
– Post match, Lee returned, but Everett fought both he and Helms off to stand tall.
Davey Richards vs. DJ Z: Richards attacked right away, working over DJ Z in the corner. He took some time to make out with Love, allowing DJ Z to hit a dive. Back in the ring and DJ Z hits a high cross for the near fall. Richards quickly cut him off with a clothesline, headed up top and missed the double stomp, allowing DJ Z to fight back with elbows and forearm strikes. The neck breaker followed for 2, and then the jawbreaker followed; Richards countered the ZDT, hit a kick and locked in the ankle lock and DJ Z tapped right away. Davey Richards defeated DJ Z @ 3:23 via submission [**] Solid for the time given, but it was really about giving Richards more momentum after last week’s victory over Edwards, I just wish that they would have used someone other that DZJ here.
– Eddie Edwards tried to rush the ring as Alisha attacked Love and beat her down in the ring. This feud will continue.
– We get a video package for “The Veterans of War” (Crimson & Gunner).
Team Borash: Alberto El Patron, Magnus, Matt Morgan, Chris Adonis vs. Team Mathews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake & Tyrus: Patron looked to start with Lashley, but the champ tags out to Drake. They lock up and battle for position, Drake tries to take control but eats an enziguri. Adonis tags in and lays in chops to Drake, but Drake cuts him off with an elbow and tags in Lashley. Shoulder block by Lashley, and they fight over a full nelson but Adonis takes control, hitting a suplex. Bram tags in, hitting knee strikes and rights but runs into an Adonis Samoan drop for 2. Magnus tags in, renewing his old rivalry with Bram, and hitting a Michinoku driver for the near fall. To the floor and it’s time for WALK AND BRAWL BRAM. Back in and Bram beats down Magnus and tags in Drake. Team Mathews works over Magus in their corner, but Drake misses a knee drop and Patron tags in, hits a back stabber and runs wild on Drake. Post break and Lashley cuts off Adonis, as Tyrus takes out Team Borash before they can help out. Tyrus then works over Adonis, hits a suplex and hits the corner splash before tagging in Lashley. Tyrus hits the world strongest slam, allowing Lashley to beat down Adonis, hitting a neck breaker and then celebrating. Bram tags in, lays in rights in his corner to Adonis and covers for 2. Adonis fights back, but is quickly cut off by a back elbow and Bram covers for 2. Drake dumps Adonis to the floor and Lashley works him over on the floor. Drake hits the powerslam and elbow drop for 2. Quick tags by Team Mathews, Tyrus lands head butts and then misses the Vader splash out of the corner. Tag to Morgan, he runs wild on Team Mathews, clears the ring and then hits corner splashes on Drake and Bram. Chokeslam to Bram gets 2 as Tryus makes the save. Patron in but he eats a spear by Lashley, but Adonis makes the save as it completely breaks down. Magnus in and powerbombs Drake, lock in a variation on the cloverleaf, but Bram makes the save. Morgan hits the carbon footprint, top rope elbow drop by Magnus finishes Bram. Team Borash: Alberto El Patron, Magnus, Matt Morgan, Chris Adonis defeated Team Mathews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake & Tyrus @ 14:30 via pin [**½] Unfortunately an average at best main event. The heat on Adonis was beyond flat and felt as if it lasted forever in a bad way. The match felt largely disjointed, and never really locked into a smooth flow. They tried to throw everything at the wall in the closing stretch, but the crowd was never into this like a big time main event, and I just never got into it. Not bad at all, just disappointing.
– Borash celebrates as the roster arrives to say their farewells to Mathews, who promised to leave Impact if his team lost.
– IMPACT IS LIVE NEXT WEEK.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.