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Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 5.25.17

May 25, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
6.3
The 411 Rating
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Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 5.25.17  

Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 5.25.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– KM & Kongo Kong defeated Braxton Sutter & Mahabali Shera @ 11:40 via pin []
GFW Tag Team Tournament Match: Veterans of War (Mayweather & Wilcox) defeated Bokara & Bahh @ 5:11 via pin [**½]
– Eddie Edwards & Alisha defeated Davey Richards & Angelina Love @ 11:38 via pin [**¾]
#1 Contender’s NO DQ Match: EC3 defeated James Storm and Magnus @ 20:10 via pin [***¾]


– We get highlights from last week’s show.

Bruce Prichard Talk: Prichard makes his way to the ring and Tyrus is with him. He explains that he is an official with Impact, and has asked Tyrus here to protect him. EC3’s actions are under review, and this is a new era in wrestling. He brings out Impact Champion Lashley. Lashley says he’s the most dominant man in the business, and doesn’t care about popularity, and doesn’t care about the nobodies fighting for a chance to challenge the franchise player, so who does he get to beat up at Slammiversary? EC3 arrives, and says he looks forward to Prichard’s review. Lashley tells him to not do the jokes. EC3 says he will win tonight, and will go to Slammiversary to win the title. Magnus then arrives, and he says that Lashley can’t say anything about him, because they’ve never faced. He wants EC3 to shut up, because he is here to fight a crusade against Prichard, who cost him his GFW title, he plans to win tonight, and win at Slammiversary. James Storm arrives, and he says he is winning and going to Slammiversary. Lashley is not amused, and Storm says that Lashley has a big body and small head. Prichard reminds them that they have a triple threat later tonight, and tonight’s match is a no DQ match. If any of them fight before the match, it’s off and they will be suspended. After starting the last few weeks with matches they went back to the promo segment to further set up the match that was already set. It was fine but didn’t add much to the match for me.

– EC3 cuts a promo on tonight’s main event, vowing to win and go onto Slammiversary.

Braxton Sutter & Mahabali Shera vs. KM & Kongo Kong: Sienna, Laurel and Allie are at ringside. Sutter and Kong to begin, Sutter tries to play stay away and Sienna distracts Sutter, allowing Kong to attack. Sutter fires away with rights, Shera tags in and he tries to slam Kong, buy Kong fights that off and he slams Shera. KM tags himself in and yells at Kong. Shera slams Kong; Laurel distracts him allowing KM to attack. He takes Shera to his corner and works him over. Kong in and works over Shera, KM back in and hits a suplex, covering for 2. KM follows with a back elbow, Kong tags in and locks in a nerve pinch. KM and Kong work double teams on Shera, and keep him isolated in their corner as we take a break. Post break, the heels continue the heat on Shera. Kong hits a slam, KM tags in but misses the slingshot splash. Sutter gets the hot tag, runs wild with rights and a snap slam on KM. The running boot and neck breaker off the ropes follows, and Sutter covers for 2.Shera back in, they double-team KM, but Kong in to make the save, but Sutter low bridges him to the floor. Sutter follows, and they brawl. Laurel tries to kiss Shera, but Allie pulls her to the floor. The ladies battle into the ring, with Allie taking them out and to the floor; Kong head butts Shera and KM rolls him up, holding the tights. KM & Kongo Kong defeated Braxton Sutter & Mahabali Shera @ 11:40 via pin [*½] This was very bland, slow and uninspired while completely lacking any drama and going too long. It was a match.

– Post match, the men brawl to the back, while Sienna & Lauren beat down Allie. But wait, Rosemary is here and makes her way to the ring. Laurel holds Allie, and Rosemary MISTS Sienna and then hits red wedding on Laurel, and then sends Sienna to the floor, saving Allie. She then stares down Allie, who is completely freaked out. Interesting, I will be all for Rosemary just doing completely random shit until she decides who she wants to kill.

GFW Tag Team Tournament Match: Veterans of War (Mayweather & Wilcox) vs. Bokara & Bahh: These teams recently faced of fat Impact One Night Only Turning Point 2017; it was fine. Wilcox tosses Bokara around to begin; Mayweather in and they work some double teams and isolate Bokara. Bahh finally tags in, cuts off Mayweather and hits the Samoan drop and then a big splash. He and Bokara work quick tags, with Bahh hitting a big leg drop. He then misses a charge, posts himself and Wilcox tags in and runs wild on both Bahh and Bokara, hitting a great overhead belly to belly on Bokara. Bahh is sent to the floor and Mayweather takes him out. The VOW hit their 3D variation and win. Veterans of War (Mayweather & Wilcox) defeated Bokara & Bahh @ 5:11 via pin [**½] Solid stuff, Bokara & Bahh are a fun little undercard tag team. The Veterans of War will face LAX next week for the GFW tag team titles. I keep waiting for the Veterans of War to do something to interest me, but they feel like such a generic big guy tag team that doesn’t particularly do anything all that well, it’s just fine.

– Magnus cuts a backstage promo, he plans to forget the past and win tonight and move onto Slammiversary.

Josh Mathews’ Big Reveal: Mathews makes his way to the ring for his big announcement. Mathews comments on Slammiversary, noting that Borash & Park have challenged he and a partner of his choosing to a tag team match at that show. Mathews calls Borash into the ring, and admits that he has made mistakes. He apologized to Mike Tenay for stealing his job, he unblocked and followed Dave Penzer on Twitter and even made up with Shark Boy. He loves Jim Ross and feels he’s the best of all time. Mathews says he’s a vice president at Impact Wrestling and apologizes to Borash and wants to be friends again. He says he’s been jealous because everyone loves Borash. The crowd chants that Mathews is lying. Mathews offers a handshake, but here comes Joseph Park. He says not to shake Mathews’ hand, and runs down Mathews for being an asshole and all of the things he’s done wrong. Mathews says he tried to apologize and now says he wants them out of his life and should be doing solo commentary. He should be the face of the Fight Network and sports. He claims he’s giving them “the rub” by being out there with them. Borash asks who his tag team partner is. Mathews says his partner will reveal himself at the right time. Park wants to fight right here and now. Mathews accepts and calls for a ref. And then… the familiar sirens sound, and Scott Steiner is back. My God the building is mic’d poorly as it sounds as if Steiner is entering to silence. Reports said he got a big reaction live. Borash runs away through the crowd, while Mathews low blows Park allowing Steiner to attack and put him in the Steiner recliner. Well that was an amazingly flat segment for a soul suckingly bad angle, setting up a match I have no desire to see. It was almost depressing how little a reaction Steiner received, it’s either poor micing or no one cares and are as fed up with the angle as I am. Steiner wasn’t exactly moving well in the limited action he saw, this could be a huge disaster on PPV. He looked like a child that was wearing his dad’s jacket; it was swallowing him up. He didn’t even rant about Park being fat for a laugh. The only good thing about the segment was Park selling the fear of seeing Steiner.

– Mathews is out on commentary now. Joy.

– Moose talks about the importance of The Grand Championship.

– Eli Drake talks about his recent attack on Moose, he doesn’t do what they want him to do and is his own man. Moose arrives and looks to attack him, but Drake says that it is all about him and challenges Moose to a title match next week, which I accepted. Chris Adonis arrives and they beat down Moose.

Eddie Edwards & Alisha vs. Davey Richards & Angelina Love: Alisha and Eddie charge the ring and everyone brawls. Eddie and Richards trade strikes in the ring as the ladies are on the floor. Eddie then sends Richards to the floor, follows with a suicide dive and chops. Love attacks Eddie, raking his eyes. Alisha heads up top and wipes out Love and Richards with a high cross to the floor as we take a break. Post break, Eddie & Alisha were in control and working over Richards. Richards fought back, and starred to attack the injured leg of Eddie, locking in the figure four. Eddie makes the ropes, but Richards continues to work him over with kicks. Eddie hits a desperation clothesline but Love pulls Alisha to the floor. Richards up top, but Eddie avoids the attack and then hits an overhead belly to belly into the corner. The wives tag in and opt for the catfight sequence. Alisha heads up to after beating on Love, but she misses the high cross. Alisha avoids the botox injection and rolls up Love for the win. Eddie Edwards & Alisha defeated Davey Richards & Angelina Love @ 11:38 via pin [**¾] Pretty good match overall, they continued the angle well, but the post match was the best part. Also, Alisha needs not to punch things, it looks very bad when she does.

– Post match, Richards & Love attack, handcuffing Eddie to the ropes. Richards gets a table as Love holds back Alisha. Richards sets up the table, and Love sets Alisha up top. Richards then makes Eddie watch Love powerbomb her through the table. Really strong post match angle as Richards and Love keep mind fucking the Eddie & Alisha.

– Spud won’t be here this week, but promises to be here next week to take care of Swoggle. His mom interrupts the interview and he yells at her, “KAYFABE MOM!, COME ON!”

#1 Contender’s NO DQ Match: James Storm vs. Magnus vs. EC3: EC3 and Storm brawl at the bell, Storm wants revenge and beats the hell out of EC3, but Magnus attacks the back of Storm to break that up. EC3 sent to the floor, the others follow as Storm low blows EC3 and then lays in chops. Magnus gets involved, he and EC3 hit a suplex onto Storm on the ramp as we head to a break. Post break, and EC3 is working over Storm with chops, but just as Storm fires up Magnus return and lays in chair shots to the guy of Storm. He and EC3 are friends for now, they wedge a chair in the corner as Magnus brings in trashcans and kendo sticks. They beat on Storm’s back with the kendo stick, Storm manages a clothesline on EC3, but Magnus cuts him off and EC3 lays in kendo stick shots, but then accidentally hits Magnus. EC3 begs off, and gives Magnus the stick, and EC3 grabs Storm. Magnus accidentally hits EC3 and then intentionally hits him several times. Magnus then covers Storm for 2. Magnus & EC3 brawl and end up clotheslining each other for the double down. Storm finally recovers, runs wild on EC3 an hits the enziguri but Magnus is back only for Storm to fight both off and pick up a near fall off of the DDT. Storm gets a chair, lays into Magnus with it and then works over EC3 with chair shots. Storm beats down Magnus in the corner, sets the trashcan on his balls and hits it with a chair. EC3 recovers, hit the TKO on storm for 2. EC3 misses the corner splash on Magnus, and Magnus follows with knee strikes, only for Storm to wipe him out with an enziguri. Storm then hits the hangman’s DDT on the apron. Magnus then work the cloverleaf on Storm, but breaks it up with a chair and covers for 2. Storm hits a chair assisted code breaker on EC3, and that gets a good near fall. Storm heads up top, Magnus cuts him off Storm knocks him into the tree of WHOA, EC3 over and we get a tower of doom spot. Magnus heads back up top, EC3 cuts him off and looks for the superplex but Magnus tosses him to the mat and Storm slams EC3 into the chair, covers but Magnus hits the elbow to break it up and covers for 2. Storm counters Magnus, hits the last call but EC3 sends him to the floor and steals the pin on Magnus. EC3 defeated James Storm and Magnus @ 20:10 via pin [***¾] After a somewhat slow start, they came back with an extremely strong second half and turned this into a great match with some very well done near falls at the end. They kept teasing that Patron may still be involved and we should get the fallout from that next week.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

 photo fe36ffd0-0da4-4e3b-a2d3-b026b341dd87_zps41ef5d61.jpg
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.3
The final score: review Average
The 411
Pretty standard show this week, the Mathews/Borash segment was no buys and just bad TV, and it was honestly embarrassing seeing Steiner return to no reaction and struggle to walk around and put on his submission. The main event was really very good and enjoyable and they set up the following for next week, which is always appreciated: The Veterans of War will face LAX next week for the GFW tag team titles and Low Ki defends the X-Division title against Andrew Everett. One thing that has been nice the last few weeks is that they have streamlined the show, going with less segments to allow things to have time and settle in. Smackdown found a lot of success with this early in the year, but unfortunately got away from it. What You Need to See: The Eddie Edwards & Alisha/Davey Richards & Angelina Love post match, Storm vs. Magnus vs. EC3
legend