Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 6.14.17

Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 6.14.17 (The Cup Begins)

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Cueto Cup Tournament Match: The Mack defeated Mala Suerte @ 7:30 via pin [**¾]
– Cueto Cup Tournament Match: Pentagon Dark defeated Argenis @ 5:50 via pin [**½]
– Cueto Cup Tournament Match: Texano defeated Famous B @ 0:10 via pin [NR]
– Cueto Cup Tournament Match: Drago defeated Aerostar @ 7:32 via pin [**]

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– The Cueto Cup begins tonight.

– #NoTimeForPants

– We get a video package, highlighting Dario’s monumental announcement.

– Dario has the big board in his office, like the ESPN bracket special. Pentagon is back, and he wants Black Lotus, but Dario says he hasn’t seen her in months. Pentagon threatens to break Dario’s arm, but Dario offers to put him in the Cueto Cup, where he can torture his opponents. He vows to win and take the title. If says if he doesn’t leave with gold at Ultima Lucha Tres, he will leave broken bones behind.

The Mack vs. Mala Suerte: Suerte is the Mowhawk guy from the Rabbit Tribe. They work some lucha passes to begin, Suerte to the apron and then hits an arm drag. They work into a stand off; Suerte fires himself up and looks for a handshake. He attacks, but runs into a knee strike and Mack covers for 2. The Mack follows with chops, but Suerte hits an arm drag but runs into a Samoan drop and standing moonsault and Mack covers for 2. Suerte tries to run, hits a RANA and then rolls out into a dropkick for 2. Suerte circles, but runs into a cross body and both are down. Mack then hits a running forearm and running kick; the XPLODER follows and covers for 2. Mack then looks for the stunner, countered and Suerte hits a release German. Suerte up top now, and then drops down and hits a running senton for 2. Suerte up top again, misses the senton and Mack hits the Michinoku driver for 2. Suerte then hits a crucifix bomb, covering for 2. Suerte follows with a DDT, heads up top and misses the swanton and Mack follows with the pounce and stunner to pick up the win. The Mack defeated Mala Suerte @ 7:30 via pin [**¾] Pretty good back and forth match to kick things off, Suerte getting so much in was a bit surprising, but makes sense considering what The Mack went through the last two weeks.

– We see Cage working out with his super special magical gauntlet. Dario arrives, and says that Cage should thank councilman Delgado. Cage isn’t interested, but Dario says he should meet with him tonight.

Pentagon Dark vs. Argenis: Argenis tries to use his speed to begin, but pentagon cuts him off quickly and hits a corner clothesline and then hits a superkick. Pentagon starts kicking away at the leg, but Argenis hits a RANA but runs into a sling blade. Pentagon then kicks him in the face and then hits a superkick and Argenis hits one of his own. Argenis to the apron, and Pentagon hits chops. Pentagon to the floor and Argenis hits a moonsault. Back in the ring and pentagon cuts Argenis off with a kick to the face, and then chops. Argenis then hits a pop up neck breaker, covering for 2. He’s then suplexed to the buckles, and Pentagon hits another superkick. Argenis hits a desperation cutter, covering for 2. Pentagon hits a sit out diver, covering for 2. Pentagon goes back to the kicks, and then superkicks Argenis as he tries a headstand in the corner; the package piledriver connects and Argenis is done. Pentagon Dark defeated Argenis @ 5:50 via pin [**½] Solid match, it’s nice to have Pentagon back and killing fools, but it felt a bit too competitive. This was Pentagon’s big return match; he really should have destroyed Argenis with ease.

– Post match, Pentagon breaks Argenis’ arm… again.

Texano vs. Famous B w/Brenda: Famous B is pissed that Melissa Santos didn’t announce him from Texas. He wants to represent Texano, and will allow Texano to pin him. Famous B lays down, Texano covers but pulls Famous B up at 2 and then hits the sitout powerbomb for the win. Texano don’t want your pity win. Texano defeated Famous B @ 0:10 via pin [NR] Just an angle to continue the Texano/Famous B angle, the right man moved on.

– Brenda slaps Texano’s ass post match, and Texano liked it.

– We see a Rey Mysterio video package, noting that he’s done a lot in his career, but never won the Lucha Underground title. We get clips of Rey & Mundo training for their upcoming title match. Michael Schiavello narrated the video, which was a nice change. #puresportsbuild These videos have a ton of potential.

Aerostar vs. Drago w/Kobra Moon: This is their 7th meeting, and they are tied at 3-3; Drago turned on Aerostar & Fenix last week, costing them the trios titles. Moon leads Drago to the ring on a chain, and Drago has a new, red outfit to signify his turn and siding with Moon. Aerostar wants a handshake and tries to be friends. Drago attacks, and hits a superkick, and then beats on Aerostar. Aerostar didn’t want to fight, but realizes he has to. Drag cuts off Aerostar, but Aerostar slowly fights back again and hits an arm drag and RANA. Aerostar hits an enziguri and missile dropkick. Drago to the floor, but Moon pulls his away from a dive back in and Aerostar slingshots into a cutter, and Drago covers for 2. Drago lays in strikes and kicks, but Aerostar then avoids the charge and sends Drago to the floor and hits a suicide dive, but Aerostar took the worst of that. Moon trips up Aerostar, and Drago then hits an apron DDT. Back in and Aerostar hits a RANA, but Drago does the rolling cradle and covers for 2. Aerostar then grounds Drago, working a cloverleaf variation, but Drago gets the ropes. Aerostar then steals Drago’s whip of the dragon, but Drago fights out and hits a blockbuster. Drago then hits the whip of the dragon to pick up the win. Drago defeated Aerostar @ 7:32 via pin [**] This was a very disappointing match, not only in terms of comparing it to their past matches, but also in terms of tone. One on hand, Aerostar being hesitant to fight his former friend works, but it lacked intensity from the newly heel Drago and Aerostar, who lost his friend and trios title last week.

– Moon instructs Drago to beat down Aerostar post match, and he does.

– We see Cage meeting with Councilman Delgado at the Boyle Heights City Hall. Delgado says the gauntlet is working and Cage will soon have more power than he could imagine, and then their work can begin. Cage says he doesn’t work for Delgado, but Delgado says he soon will and Cage’s life will have a purpose. Cage chokes out Delgado with the gauntlet, and Delgado says Cage is still thinking like a man. CAGE THEN PUNCHES DELGADO’S FACE INTO MUSH AND WE HAVE ANOTHER LUCHA UNDERGROUND DEATH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT LORENZO LAMAS! Cage says he’s not a man, he’s a machine and leaves the scene of the crime…

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.5

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

The Cueto Cup got off to a disappointing start this week, especially compared to the last two episodes that kicked off the second half of season three. There was nothing all that special in ring wise, and the only highlights were the Rey/Mundo video package and Cage straight up murdering a man to close the show. The good news about the Cueto Cup is that it allows then to map out the programming easily over the next few weeks, I just hope that those shows have a bigger sense of urgency and a higher quality of in ring action.