wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 9.14.16
Lucha Underground 9.14.16 (Season Three, Episode 2)
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Dr. Wagner Jr. defeated Mascarita Sagrada @ 0:53 via pin [**]
– Mil Muertes defeated Argenis @ 1:33 via pin [NR]
– Weapons of Mass Destruction Match: Killshot defeated Marty The Moth @ 22:30 via pin [****¼]
– We get the usual slick opening video package, giving us some background from last week as well as from season two to set the stage for tonight.
-We see Officer Ryan and Reyes listening in on Cueto after Ultima Lucha. Reyes wasn’t to make the arrest, but the captain says this is about more than a meaningless street thug. This of course leads to a mini-kung fu battle between Ryan and Reyes, and tension more tension.
Dr. Wagner Jr. w/Famous B and Brenda vs. Mascarita Sagrada: Famous B introduces Dr. Wagner, Brenda is now his nurse. Mascarita Sagrada was Famous B’s previous client, and kept losing, do Famous B kicked his ass. Sagrada tried to grapple with Wagner, which failed at first but he did get a snap mare. Wagner then picked him up and hit the doctor driver for the win. This was what it needed to be.
Diagnosis: Loser. #LuchaUnderground @FamousB23 #423GetFame @WagnerJrOficial pic.twitter.com/4GbKbloehH
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
– We get a video of the ancient Aztecs, I assume. A man tells his young daughter that she has to lead because war is coming, and that it is more important than they are. He gives her an amulet that only works on females. It will grant her immortality once she gets to be an adult. Her father then dies. We then see the police captain (Vasquez) with half of the amulet. Reyes arrives, this took place during Ultima Lucha Dos, and she says that he is suspended because they need Dario out because he will lead them to the true enemy. She then tells him to consider what side of the war he wants to be on.
Captain Vasquez is in pretty good shape for a thousand year old. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/iPY452W6x3
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
Mil Muertes w/Catrina vs. Argenis: Argenis tries to use his speed to hit and run, but Muertes snatches him up and hits a powerbomb. Argenis fires back with a kick and then hits a moonsault, but Muertes kicks out at 1. Muertes tosses him around and hits a spear and then the flatliner for the win. Catrina licks Argenis post match. Puma then arrives and hits a springboard lariat and then they brawl. A missile dropkick follows and Muertes bails. Puma follows and Catrina steps in the middle and the feud begins again. The match was what it needed to be, and the Puma attack follows up well off of the show-closing angle between Vampiro and Puma that took place last week.
Tastes like heaven. #LickOfDeath #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/DBLSVzsSZx
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
– We go to last week when Dario arrived back at his office. He looks around the office and officer Joey Ryan arrived. Ryan explains that he knows Dario killed Cisco, and that he is a friend. He admits that he is a cop, but wants to be on the right side of the war, Dario’s side. Ryan says he can be a double agent, and he did everything he could to keep Dario out of jail and reveals that Castro (Reyes) is a cop. Ryan offers his hand for a deal because he has child support to pay and Dario tosses him some cash.
– Back with Captain Vasquez, who meets with Reyes in real time. He wants to be on her side. She is sending him back to the temple. He leaves and she again looks at the half of her amulet.
How many little Joey Ryans do you think are out there? #LuchaUnderground @JoeyRyanOnline pic.twitter.com/DqR5QnF9mq
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
Weapons of Mass Destruction Match: Marty the Moth vs. Killshot: This is an anything goes, military themed match. The Temple is decorated like a boot camp of death, and Marty is dressed like a demented soldier. Killshot attacked as Marty made his entrance and used a mounted machine gun to beat on Marty with. Marty was busted open as they brawled through the crowd. The fight went ringside as Killshot tossed Marty over the commentary table and then slammed a chair into his face. Marty used Melissa Santo as a shield and then escaped into the crowd. Striker was insufferable throughout this with his over the top military phrases/clichés. A bloody Marty grabbed Killshot by the balls to try and get the heat, but Killshot shot him from the stands and hit a dive to the floor. Marty started to toss Killshot into the ammunition boxes and then set up a table, leading to Marty hitting a backdrop suplex onto the apron. We then got ladders, including a ladder bridge. Killshot tossed a net onto Marty and then kicked him in the face. My God Striker is single handedly trying to ruin this match with his shit commentary with his bullshit. Marty kicked a ladder into Killshot’s face. Marty is a bloody mess a she sets up some crates in the ring, Killshot avoided the powerbomb but ate the spinebuster onto the crates. Marty went up top, but was cut off and they battled for position and Marty hit a superplex onto the crates. They battled on the ladder bridge, where Killshot hit a DVD off the apron and onto the ladder. The double stomp hit in the ring, but only got 2. This has a great crowd and both of these guys are looking to impress with some wild bumps. Marty then powerbombed Killshot form the ring THROUGH two tables on the floor! Killshot somehow survived, and hit the storm cradle driver for a great near fall. Amazing atmosphere now, as the crowd has fully bought into this. Killshot then got a super Jeff Hardy approved ladder, and set it up as Marty attacked and set up a table in the ring, and we have two tables set up in the ring on opposite sides of the ladder. Marty lays Killshot on a table, climbs the ladder, but Killshot is up and climbs as well. They battle on top of the ladder, and then Mariposa runs in. She attacks Killshot, who sends her off the ladder and through a table! This has really slowed down the stretch, Killshot grabs Marty’s balls and then Killshot works him over and garbs his dog tags. He then lands kicks and HITS A DOUBLE STOMP off of the ladder THROUGH the table to finally defeat Marty. Off the charts main event, with an amazing effort from both and more than delivered on the violence that they promised; this was the first great match of the season.
Marty might want to keep that camo on after what Killshot just did to his teeth! #LuchaUnderground #WMD pic.twitter.com/uUqR7QRuxk
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
Marty The Moth takes Killshot off the turnbuckle and detonates his spine on the weapon cases! #LuchaUnderground #WMD pic.twitter.com/YBrYD4vvoM
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
Surrender isn’t on the table, but Killshot is. #LuchaUnderground #WMD pic.twitter.com/1hoiRJmkWG
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
??????MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!?????? #LuchaUnderground #WMD pic.twitter.com/uykyLWH54E
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 15, 2016
– We then see Muertes beating up a locker backstage. Catrina tells him to stop, but he wants Puma. She tells him to be patient because he will get him. She has waited HNDREDS of years to get what she wants. AND SHE has the other half of the amulet!
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia.”