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Csonka’s ROH TV Review 8.31.16
Image Credit: ROH
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Csonka’s ROH TV Review 8.31.16
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Hoss Division Match: Keith Lee and Shane Taylor defeated War Machine @ 10:35 via pin [***]
– Cheeseburger vs. Tim Hughes vs. David Starr vs. Joey Daddiego went to a no contest @ 4:15 [NR]
– The Cabinet defeated Dalton Castle and The Boys @ 8:15 via pin [**½]
– ROH Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Addiction defeated The Young Bucks @ 12:00 via pin [**½]
– Matt Taven and Kevin Kelly are on commentary.
Hoss Division Match: War Machine (Hanson and Rowe) vs. Keith Lee and Shane Taylor: Sweet Jesus this was a lot of fun early on, with big hoss daddy dudes doing hoss daddy things, while also mixing in suicide dives and spinkicks. After brawling on the floor for a few minutes, the action returned to the ring, where War Machine looked to take control. Miscommunication issues from War Machine allowed Lee and Taylor to take control as we worked thought he commercial break. Post break Rowe made a comeback and got the hot tag to Hanson, who ran wild for a bit but then got cut off. It broke down with all four men in; Hanson went up top but got caught and hit with a double chokeslam for a near fall. All four continued to brawl; War machine hit the decapitation (springboard clothesline/German suplex combo) which then broke down into a series of power moves from everyone. Hanson hit the seated senton off the ropes, Taylor to the floor and Rowe hit the sitout powerbomb for 2. War machine went for fallout, but Taylor made the save and they hit a powerbomb splash combo onto Rowe. The sitout powerbomb to Hanson finished things off. That was a good and fun match, featuring big dudes kicking the shit out of each other; it was exactly what it needed to be and the crowd loved it.
Cheeseburger vs. Tim Hughes vs. David Starr vs. Joey Daddiego: They all attacked Cheeseburger as BJ Whitmer arrived to do commentary, wearing some Kevin Sullivan style makeup. Whitmer cut a half ass Sullivan style promo as we got some dives from the competitors. Commentary completely ignored the match, and the lights then went out as we got a wacky promo from Sullivan and Whitmer, noting that a new Purple Haze will arrive. When we came back, Punisher Martinez was in the ring and destroying the little men. He is the demon that Whitmer summoned. Martinez cleared the ring and stood tall with Whitmer. The match was nothing, just a background to introduce Martinez as a new player. It was solid, but nothing with BJ Whitmer interests me these days.
Dalton Castle and The Boys vs. The Cabinet (King, Titus and Coleman): The Boys worked over Titus, and then Castle tagged in and worked with Coleman. Castle hit a dead lift German, got distracted and King hit a clothesline. The Boys made the save and then Castle tosses the Boys and Coleman to the floor to wipe everyone out. Castle teased a dive and posed with the Boys. Post commercial, The Cabinet worked the heat on one of the Boys. They worked a good heat, with lots of moving parts and not allowing I to get slow or boring. The Boys pulled the switch as the Cabinet was celebrating, leading to a roll up on King for a near fall. Castle then got the tag, and he ran wild with suplexes and slams. The Dead lift bridging German to Titus got a near fall. Castle and the Boys triple teamed Titus, but then Castle got tossed to the floor. The Cabinet hit a superplex, leading to the old RVD/Sabu (splash leg drop combo from the top) finish for the win. The match had its fun points, but felt really disjointed in the final stretch. The Cabinet is a group of guys that I really do not care about, the gimmick does nothing for me and their matches tend to be average and forgettable.
– Adam Cole cut a promo about becoming the ROH Champion. O’Reilly tried to ruin it, but Cole knows that he is jealous because he is the champion and O’Reilly never will be.
– Veda Scott joins commentary.
ROH Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Addiction vs. The Young Bucks : The Addiction tried to jump he Bucks during their entrance, but the Bucks were able to sneak in behind them and lay them out with superkicks and took control as they brawled on the floor. They brought in tables and a ladder, put the ladder on Daniels and hit double team superkicks to send us to the break. Are there any rules here, or are we just working a no DQ match without actually saying we are? After the break, Nick was shoved off of the top and through a table on the floor by Daniels, allowing Kaz to hit a cutter on Matt and take the heat. The Addiction worked double teams, but Nick returned and hit a superkick from the apron. Matt then made the tag and Nick ran wild on the Addiction. Really nice hot tag from Nick, taking out both guys, but moving slow due to the table bump. He went for a swanton, but ate knees and that slowed him again. Matt hit a DDT to Kaz on the apron, Nick then hit the 450 for a near fall. Scott and Taven are horrible here on commentary, playing double heel here and constantly being annoying and not really focusing on the match at times. The Addiction took control back, with Kaz getting a near fall on Matt as Daniels hit a suicide dive onto Nick. Nick was able to post Daniels, leading to the everyone in and hit big moves and superkick buffet. Kamaitachi ran in for the distraction, the Machine Guns arrived to stop that and then Nick hit a dive and took out Kamaitachi and the Guns. Kaz got a chair, Sabin in, takes it and he accidentally hits Matt with the char. He gets tossed and the Addiction retain. While there was a lot to enjoy, this was also a mess at times. The fact that they were basically working a “best of” match, combined with the fact that they said fuck the rules and then we got the interference filled finish really took away from my enjoyment. I get that they are setting up a huge three-way (rumored to be ladder war) between the three teams, but this felt like the laziest way to get there. Disappointing overall.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia.”
