Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 1.19.17

Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 1.19.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– The Race For the Case: Eli Drake, Trevor Lee, The DCC and Jeff Hardy got cases @ 13:04 [**½]
– Brooke defeated Deonna Purrazzo @ 4:47 via pin [**¼]
– Aron Rex and Rockstar Spud defeated Robbie E and Swoggle @ 4:11 via pin [DUD]
– Impact Grand Championship Match: Drew Galloway defeated Champion Moose @ 2:16 of round three via pin [***½]

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– We get highlights from last week’s show.

The Race For the Case: Shera, Trevor Lee, Jessie Godders, Crazzy Steve, Matt & Jeff Hardy, Eli Drake, Tyrus, Bram, Eddie Kingston, Andrew Everett, and Mike Bennett will compete. Here is the description of the match/rules. We started with the big brawl, some in the ring and some on the floor. Eli Drake got the red case. Trevor Lee got the Blue case and then hit a dive onto the pile on the floor. They’ve done a good job of keeping the action going and not allowing things to drag. It’s mainly just a lot of guys doing stuff, but it’s not boring. They worked through the break; Crazzy Steve tried to eat Bennett’s leg at one point. Bennett got to run wild for a bit, and then Crazzy Steve got a run and hit a dive to the floor. DCC hit a spike piledriver on Steve, Godders then slipped off the ropes and sorta hit a spear on the DCC members. Godders then dropped the gold case, and the DCC recovered it. Jeff Hardy got the green case to end the match. Eli Drake, Trevor Lee, The DCC and Jeff Hardy got cases @ 13:04 [**½] It was solid, but got sloppy as it went on. At least it wasn’t boring.

– We get highlights of Drew Galloway’s TNA debut, where he split Low Ki’s melon open with a pipe.

– We then see footage of Moose’s TNA debut.

– Galloway cuts a promo backstage, he says there have been positive changes, and while Moose is a good champion, nothing he’s done counts because TNA would not hold off until he returned so that he could win the grand championship. He will make that title the top title in the company.

– Lashley says he beat EC3 and has earned a title shot; he’s heading to the ring. We then get highlights of Lashley defeating EC3 in a last man standing match last week.

Lashley Talks: He took out EC3, and now nothing will stop him from defeating Edwards and getting his title back. Lashley calls the champion to the ring. Edwards says he doesn’t answer to Lashley; he beat him for the title and understands what he is doing. Edwards wants to know what Lashley’s plan is, Lashley says Edwards is not a fighting champion, he’s a guy that relies on flukes, poor officiating and his partner saving his ass. Lashley says Edwards is nothing but a feel good story. Lashley wants Edwards to give him a rematch for the title, and he wants it in a real endurance test; Lashley wants a 30-minute iron man match so that he can beat him over and over and over again to prove himself. Edwards accepts, so he can prove himself and to prove that Lashley is his bitch. Lashley right properly attacks and beats Edwards’ ass, until Davey Richards makes the save. Lashley was great there, but the only real issue is that he’s not wrong and didn’t make Edwards look all that good.

– Maria calls Braxton Sutter, demanding a meeting. Brooke walks, Maria engages full bitch mode and Brooke tells her to stay out of her business.

Brooke vs. Deonna Purrazzo: Purrazzo is a free agent, getting looks by ROH, TNA & WWE in the last year, She is also working Japan dates. Solid back and forth to begin, with Purrazzo taking the early advantage playing off of Brooke being out of action. They went to the floor, brawled and Brooke took control back. Brooke repeatedly slammed Purrazzo to the buckles, fired back with forearms and then hit the neck breaker. Brooke fired up, but Purrazzo fired back and hit a running knee strike. Brooke then hit a series of clotheslines, a back breaker and then a flapjack. Brooke then hit her face plant finish for the win. Brooke defeated Deonna Purrazzo @ 4:47 via pin [**¼] This was a nice re-debut for Brooke, she looks to be in great shape and did well considering her time off. I also like that they played into that, noting that Purrazzo wrestles several times a week and presenting her as competitive. I was not a fan of the post match, because I am sick and tired of the knockouts division revolving around Maria. It’s done the division no good.

– Maria then sent Sienna to the ring to attack Brooke; she hit the silencer and stood tall.

– Maria meets with Braxton Sutter; he was off training with Allie. Sutter defends Allie, but Mariais in full bitch mode and says Allie’s training is ruining her life. Sutter claims to be a grown ass man and can’t be told what to do. Maria whispers something to Sutter, after telling him he needs to stop training Allie. He then agrees and Maria tells him to go and find laurel.

Eli Drake’s Fact of Life: Drake is with Trevor Lee, The DCC and Jeff Hardy. Tyrus is hosting because Drake has deemed that he is too good for us and we don’t get to hear him talk. They are going to reveal who got what number in their case. Tyrus is pretty funny here; I just have no desire to see him wrestle. Drake gets #4 and the others laugh at him. Tyrus tells him its fine. They do some comedy with Trevor Lee, trying to get him to trade his case for Drake’s. Lee got #3, so that means Jeff got #1.

1. Jeff Hardy
2. DCC
3. Trevor Lee
4. Eli Drake

Solid segment with a few laughs, but it really felt like a filler segment. Tyrus was fun.

– We then get highlights of Galloway cashing in on Matt Hardy to win the world title.

– We also get footage of Moose defeating Mike Bennett.

– Allie meets with Braxton Sutter. Allie is super excited, and Sutter drops the bomb that they shouldn’t be together anymore, even in training. Poor Allie is sad and confused as Sutter leaves.

– Spud is out and introduces Aron Rex. Mathews keeps discussing that Rex is “transitioning.” Robbie E appears, basically calls Rex gay for wearing lipstick. Swoggle is here with Robbie.

Aron Rex and Rockstar Spud vs. Robbie E and Swoggle: Spud attacks Swoggle from behind, allowing he and Rex to take the heat. Rex cut a promo during the match, and flipped out and begged for help when Swoggle touched him. Swoggle fought back, Robbie got the hot tag and hit a high cross on Rex and then slammed Spud onto Rex. Swoggle gave Spud a stinkface, Spud used one of Rex’s rings to KO Swoggle; Robbie dumped Spud and Rex covered Swoggle for the win. Aron Rex and Rockstar Spud defeated Robbie E and Swoggle @ 4:11 via pin [DUD] This was very bad professional wrestling, the Rex and Spud pairing and gimmick change seems to exist so that Mathews and Pope can make “sly gay jokes” about their relationship. Yes, Rex is working an effeminate/Liberace like gimmick, but you’re supposed to allow the crowd to react to it, let it push their buttons and play on their insecurities. I don’t need the commentary team essentially making gay jokes, not that it should surprise me, they once spent 10-minutes on a PPV making fun of Spud for being a virgin and or gay. Josh Mathews is the dirt worst, and needs to go away. Pope isn’t much better. On top of that, the wrestling was just poorly done, had no flow and felt as if it lasted 30-minutes. Finally, you do the gimmick no good when your commentary team comes off as a pair of grade school kids that just heard someone say “breasts” for the first time in health class.

– We see Sutter with Laurel; he opens his car door for her to give her a ride, on the order of Maria.

– Next week…

* Knockouts Title Monster’s Ball Match: Champion Rosemary vs. Jade
* TNA World Title Iron Man Match: Champion Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

– We get a good pre-match video with booth guys talking about how important the title was to them; they respect each other but both vow to be champion.

Impact Grand Champion Moose vs. Drew Galloway: They do some back and forth, going to a stalemate. They both fire up, delivering chops and beating the hell out of each other. Moose hit the big dropkick, Galloway hit chops and looked to pick up the pace, but Moose caught him and hit the sack of shit slam. Moose missed a spear, leading to Galloway hitting a stuff piledriver. They traded crazy fists as the round ends. The judges award round one to Galloway. Moose hits the big boot to begin round two, they brawl to the floor; Galloway hit the death valley driver onto the apron to take control it didn’t last long as Moose fired up and powerbombed Galloway onto the apron, as these guys have just decided to try and kill each other. Back in and another powerbomb by Moose, the senton follows but then misses the moonsault. Galloway works the iron maiden, but Moose fights and survives until the end of the round. The judges award round two to Moose. They throw bombs to begin round three, Mathews feels Galloway won round two. Galloway up top but as he flew off Moose hit the dropkick to cut him off. We got a low blow spot and do MMA rules and the ref tells the judges to deduct a point from Galloway. Time back in and Galloway kills Moose with the claymore kick and wins the title. Drew Galloway defeated Champion Moose @ 2:16 of round three via pin [***½] This was a very good main event, it was great to see Galloway back and I have no issue with him winning the title in this way. It was his main goal and works well in how they did it with the low blow into the finish. I’ve seen it in MMA where a guy takes a low blow but doesn’t take the time to recover and then quickly gets finished. Galloway comes off as an asshole heel that will do anything to win, and Moose is just the face that wanted to keep fighting. He wasn’t hurt by the loss, and the rematch will make sense. I do think the format hurt it a bit, I’d actually love to see these guys in a 15-minute PPV setting, because I think they could really tear it up. They worked with a great sense of urgency had great intensity and felt as if they were fighting with everything they had for this title.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.8

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

I felt that the show was largely flat this week, but the main event delivered and they set two matches for next week. The good news is that I am looking forward to next week, as both title matches have the chance to be very good.