Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 1.26.16

TNA Impact Review 1.26.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Feast or Fired: Grado, Galloway, Eli Drake and Storm won cases @ 14:00 [**]
– X-Division Title Match: Champion Tigre Uno defeated Mandrews and DJ Z @ 6:30 via pin [***]
– Awesome Kong defeated Velvet Sky @ 3:41 via pin [½*]
– Non-Title Match: Champions The Wolves defeated Abyss and Crazzy Steve @ 6:10 via DQ [**¼]
– TNA World Title Match: Big Money Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy never started

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– We get highlights from last week’s show.

Jeff Calls Out Matt: Jeff explained that he was upset when he heard what happened last week, and calls out brother Matt for some answers. Matt finally has new entrance music, which he needed. Matt and Reby came out, with Tyrus carrying little Maxwell Hardy. Jeff only wanted Matt to come out because this was about family, but Reby cut him off and said she was his wife and was there when everyone left Matt. She also knocked Jeff for leaving Matt when he got injured being a “Redneck Evil Kenevil.” Jeff called her a, “sister bitch in law,” and said that Matt was acting like a bitch as well. Matt said it was Reby that made his realize that he had to start taking instead of giving, and just wants Jeff to be happy for him before calling him a cripple. Jeff is now just the other Hardy. Matt said it was time for them to go their separate ways while he goes on to become the great champion of all time. We got some EC3 chants, and Jeff agreed and said at least EC3 won the title fairly. Jeff then challenged Matt to a title match tonight. Matt said he loved Jeff, but since Jeff wants this, he wipes his hands of it all, no matter what happens tonight. This was an overall good segment to kick off the show, Jeff’s stuff felt a bit forced at times, but Matt and Reby are an absolutely despicable pairing and I think it works.

Feast or Fired: Featuring Rockstar Spud, Aiden O’Shea, Robbie E, Eli Drake, Jessie Godderz, Drew Galloway, Chris Melendez, Grado, Bram, Eric Young, Bobby Roode and James Storm: All of the guys you would expect to paired off and brawled at times during this match. Robbie hit a big dive off the top and to the floor, while Roode tossed Spud to the floor and onto Bram and Young. They did a fine job of keeping the action going, and worked through the commercial break. We got a tower of doom spot, because no cluster fuck match is complete without one. Beer Money brawled with Bram and Young, who cleared them out and then Young hit a piledriver on Spud. Beer Money returned, they hit the Beer Money suplex on Young and celebrated. Storm and Roode looked as if they would fight for the same case, but Roode told Storm to get the case and fought off O’Shea to make sure he got it. It was fine, they tried to keep the action going, but it had its down points. I did like that they had the guys that have had issues in the past play off of that throughout. Grado, Drew Galloway, Eli Drake and James Storm got the four cases.

– Kurt Angle gave Jeff Hardy a pep talk, telling him that he was doing the right thing and that he had his back.

– We will get the Feast or Fired reveals tonight.

X-Division Title Match: Champion Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews vs. DJ Z: Unfortunately this is what the X-Division has been relegated too for a long time, meaningless (and usually short) multi-man matches with little to no build. The first few minutes was a lot of quick back and forth action, with guys taking turns getting some control and then they moved into some fun three-way spots (submissions and pin attempts). DJ Z hit a big dive onto Uno, and then Mandrews hit a moonsault to the floor onto both. He then rode the skateboard down the ramp and hit DJ Z with a head scissors. Mandrews cut off an Uno dive, but then missed a moonsault. DJ Z in and hit a reverse RANA for a near fall. Mandrews and DJ Z up top, Uno over and got kicked away. Mandrews sent DJ Z to the floor, Uno then hit a dropkick and hen the Spanish fly and that was that. Post match, Shane Helms arrived for his third meeting with Uno. Helms said that the X-Division defined TNA for years; it was built on the X-Division. He doesn’t want there to be any excuses, so he will give Uno one more week, because next week, “are you prepared to defend the X-Division title for the last time?” Uno agreed, and Helms told him that his time as champion was over. It was a fun little match that I enjoyed, and hopefully the angle with Helms will give the division some substance and direction, because it needs it.

– Kong talks with Dollhouse, she is a majestic beast and should be the champion, and she wants them to help her get it. Tonight is about revenge, and but needs to do this alone. She tells them to kick back and watch the teacher show that beating is fundamental.

– Drake and Godderz have a meeting about the case. Godderz wants Drake to break the rues and open the case. DRAMA.

– Kurt Angle goes to meet with Matt Hardy. Hardy tells Tyrus to back off and Matt calls Angle “Curtis.” Matt says that this is not about Jeff, he is building a legacy and a company, he is Matt Hardy and this is about his brand. Matt says he respects Angle, in theory, and Angle is on his level, in theory. Big Money Matt is a dick.

Awesome Kong vs. Velvet Sky: Both came out for the match alone, not sure that will last. Kong attacked early, and then Sky fought back with slow motion kicks. They fought to the floor, Kong took control as the match slowed to a crawl. It wasn’t even that it was a slow and methodical beating by Kong; it was just painfully slow and uneventful. Sky avoided a splash and then got a DDT for 2. Kong would finally get the splash, but pulled up at 2. She then hit the implant buster and that was all. I am amazed that they kept the others out of this. Post match, Rayne hit the ring as Kong looked to attack Sky more. Dollhouse arrived, and then beat down Rayne and then made her watch Kong hit the second rope splash on Sky. The match was no bueno, but the post match was solid.

– The Wolves cut a backstage promo; Abyss and Crazzy Steve stole their titles last week and they want then back. We get a match, next.

– The Feast or Fired guys arrive for the big reveal. So of course we head to a commercial. After the break, Borash explains that the cases hold a world title shot, a KOTM title shot, a tag title shot and the final one continues the old pink slip. Mike Bennett and Maria arrive, and Bennett rambled on about being the miracle and said he would stay to watch the drama. Galloway then ran him down, teasing a match between the two. Eli Drake got the KOTM Title Shot. They then went back to the ring.

Champions The Wolves vs. Abyss and Crazzy Steve : The Wolves called out Crazzy Steve, but Rosemary arrived (Courtney Rush) playing a psycho clown. They went to a commercial, and when we came back we were joined in progress. Steve and Abyss controlled early, with Steve dropping the comedy and doing a more serious character. I wouldn’t call it a Joker deal, but the comparisons will be made because rosemary comes off like a version Harley Quinn. I do appreciate the character change. They had the heat on Richards the whole time, and Edwards finally got the tag at about four minutes in. The crowd was not into this at all, which is unfortunate. The Wolves looked to have things won when Rosemary appeared with the missing titles. We ended with a DQ as Rosemary misted Richards and then Steve worked the chicken wing as she bit him. Abyss chokeslammed Edwards in the ring and the new heel team stood tall. In theory I like this, Abyss is shit as a singles these days and Steve was going nowhere in his wacky clown gimmick. The action here was solid and the new team looks to be a threat, but you can’t ask people to instantly care about two characters that haven’t meant anything in forever in one night. It’s a good starting point, but it’s likely going to be an uphill battle to get people to actually care about Abyss and Steve and to buy them as a threat. But in theory, I like the change.

– Feast or Fired time, James Storm opens his case and he got the tag team title shot. BEER! MONEY! We’re down to Galloway and Grado, and Galloway gets the World Title Shot. Grado is fired.

.@GallowaySpeaks @JamesStormBrand @EliDrakeTNA Feast. @gradowrestling Fired #FeastOrFired #IMPACTonPop pic.twitter.com/qxuvE43LOj

— TNA WRESTLING (@IMPACTWRESTLING) January 27, 2016

– EC3 will speak about his future next week on Impact.

Non-Title Match: Champion Big Money Matt Hardy w/Reby and Tyrus vs. Jeff Hardy: So we did not get a match here, as the bell rang and Eric Young came out and ranted about not getting a chance at the title. Bram then attacked Jeff as Matt and Tyrus watched on. They bailed and allowed Bram and Young to work over Jeff as they attacked his leg. Beer Money tried to make the save, but Steve an Abyss arrived and we had a mass brawl, Matt just watched. Beer Money and the crazies battled to the back, Matt returned to the ring as Kurt Angle arrived. Tyrus attacked him, and then Matt laid him out with a belt shot. Team Big Money Matt left, and that led to Jeff being alone. He tried to fight back, but Young hit a piledriver off of the apron and through a table. And thus concludes the annual “write Jeff Hardy out for the UK tour” angle. Matt came off as a give no fucks dick as his brother got beaten down, setting the stage for a match when Jeff can return. Hey also added some heat to the tag ranks with the various teams involved, concluding a good closing segment.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

I thought that this week’s show was a rock solid follow up to last week. We have some movement in the X-Division and tag ranks and Matt is doing well as a heel. The wrestling was a very secondary thing this week as they were building stories, which is fine because everything seemed to have a purpose. This was an easy to watch show, setting the stage for next week to follow up on several levels. Hopefully they can do that.