Csonka’s TNA One Night Only: Rivals Review

Introduction
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.

TNA One Night Only: Rivals

OFFICIAL RESULTS
~ Taryn Terrell defeated Gail Kim @ 13:03 via pin [***]
~ James Storm defeated Mr. Anderson @ 9:09 via [*½]
~ Kenny King defeated Samoa Joe, Sanada and DJ Z @ 9:15 via pin [**½]
~ Bram defeated Gunner @ 9:22 via pin [*¾]
~ EC3 defeated Austin Aries @ 8:27 via pin [**¼]
~ Monster’s Ball: Eric Young defeated Abyss @ 11:34 via pin [*]
~ Angelina Love defeated Madison Rayne @ 8:44 via pin [**]
~ Bobby Roode defeated MVP @ 2:30 via DQ [NR]
~ MVP and King defeated Roode and Young @ 8:18 via pin [**½]
~ Jeff Hardy defeated Magnus @ 10:12 via pin [***]

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* This show was taped back in September.

* Cool set up with the ring on a stage, check it out below…

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim: These two have worked well together in the past, so this could be good. They are both playing babyface here, so lots of playing to the crowd, clean breaks and basic wrestling to begin. They did some spots on the floor, including a high cross off the stage to the floor by Terrell. Kim worked the knee to get her heat, and Terrell sold it well down the stretch. It was a little sluggish, and the crowd didn’t react as well to some of the near falls as they would have liked, which hurt it a bit but overall it was really good and I enjoyed it. Terrell got the win with the cutter; they got the time to work and did well with it. This was a nice way to open the show. I know that this will shock you but Tenay, and especially Taz, were very bad at times on commentary. There were just too many jokes instead of actually focusing on the match.

James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson: Mr. Anderson feels like such a completely outdated character in 2015. That and his matches are completely forgettable. I am still a fan of Storm, so we’ll see what we get here. Taz and Tenay spent way too long discussing the fact that Taz thought that they were in Roanoke, VA when in fact they were in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. I am sure that this was completely hilarious when they were writing it up over a few bottles of Tenay’s favorite hooch, but continues their trend of shitting on the matches in the ring. They then discussed the history of the sack on the NFL, Deacon Jones, and then the creation of NFL films. This all came from Storm chop blocking out the knee of Anderson. They felt that this level of discussion was more important than the match. Storm worked the knee, it was slow, Sanada appeared to distract Anderson, it failed, he then ended up getting involved again, superkick and Storm wins. They did stuff, no one really cared and it didn’t matter because of the finish with Sanada. Moving on.

Four Way Elimination Match: Kenny King vs. Sanada, DJ Z and Samoa Joe: After going after DJ Z early, everyone attacked Joe and worked him over for a few minutes. This led to Taz and Tenay discussing big men in wrestling history, battle royal strategy and always going after the biggest man early. That actually made some sense, sorry, that shocked me that they actually were discussing something related to the match. Joe eliminated DJ Z in about 5-minutes and Sanada at about 7-minutes. Sanada then returned, misted Joe and King got a sunset flip for the win. The work was fine, but they did some stuff and then it was an elimination every two minutes; it felt way too rigid and lacked any natural flow. Disappointing considering the talent involved, but I wouldn’t really blame them as much as I would the agents for a shit layout and lack of time.

Bram vs. Gunner: So this finally proves that Bram and Gunner are not the same guy. Either that or there is about to be one hell of a paradox. They teased brawling on the floor early, but abandoned it and returned to the ring. I like both of these guys, but this was not a good match. They did stuff, and then just kept doing stuff with no real rhyme nor reason. I never felt a solid flow, and then the finish was basically botched as Bram countered (and I use that term loosely) a sunset flip bomb into a pin. The crowd liked Gunner and was into his stuff, but this was a big disappointment to me, as they did not mesh well at all, which is unfortunate because I thought this would be at the very least good.

* This has been all down hill since the ladies opener. Also, the last three matches feel way to regimented as they are locked in at right about the same timeframe. Gunner vs. Bram and Storm vs. Anderson felt way too much alike, which again is a problem with the agents.

Ethan Carter III vs. Austin Aries: Carter said he had no rivals since he beat them all and sent them packing, so Austin Aries came out to answer the challenge. This had a really fun, fast and furious beginning. Then it slowed to a crawl as EC3 worked rest holds, tossed Aries to the floor and let Spud lay in the boots on Aries repeatedly. It’s not that they did it, it was part of the act at the time, it’s that they did it so many times it lost all effect. Less is more, especially on the shenanigans front. Aries busted his ass here, he sold a ton and very well for EC3, but all of the bullshit just became too much and overtook the match. EC3 won when Spud did the Bobby Hennan finish in what ended up an ok match.

I like EC3 a lot and think he has a ton of potential but this style of booking makes him look completely inept. Sometimes heels can win just to win, especially on a show like this that almost no one will see. At least then you can play the footage back and show it off when you need to push the guy. This had just too much bullshit, and it took away from the good work being done. Again, not the fault of the workers, this is a problem with the agents.

Monster’s Ball Match: Eric Young vs. Abyss: These guys had two Monster’s Ball matches on TNA TV in 2014, and are tied so I guess this is the rubber match. Abyss cut a promo, bringing up their relationship, Joseph Park and the fact that the only reason Abyss is back is because Young brought him back. Abyss then says this is a regular match and if it wasn’t he would destroy Young. Odd considering that they have been hyping Monster’s Ball all night, so maybe they should have edited out this promo since they made it a Monster’s Ball. Seriously, you had three months to edit the show and no one caught this? These guys have worked the match before, so in that aspect it was ok, but at the same time it felt like any garbage match they have been running as of late. Some people will likely like something like this, I like hardcore wrestling when done right, but felt that this lacked overall. The fact that the weapons are such a cheap pop and that the crowd was not into anything outside of the weapons tells you that they did not care. The lack of reaction to the work was actually depressing. Also, this match felt like it lasted forever. Add all of that together with the fact that these guys took all of that punishment for essentially no reason and this failed.

Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne: Former members of the Beautiful People collide. Instead of focusing on the match or the history between the ladies, Taz and Tenay spoke about after parties and Comedy Central roasts. YOU TWO SUCK AT YOUR JOB! Love controlled most of the way, they traded some slow motion pinning combos in the middle, and then Rayne made an energetic comeback. Unfortunately for her Love would counter a roll up late and grab the tights for the win. It was fine, you’d see just as good if not better on Impact. The crowd has been dying all show due to these match layouts, things haven’t been put together well and no the crowd feels fatigued.

* They show most of Roode vs. Lashley II, where Roode won the title from Lahsley. Nothing like killing time.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP turned into Roode and Young vs. King and MVP: They worked a few minute, it was actually really good and I was enjoying it a lot so they had King run in, Young make the save and…

So, they then worked the Teddy Long special as Taz and Tenay waxed poetically about the original Sheik because fuck what’s going on in the ring. They worked over Roode for several minutes, good hot tag to Young with everyone working hard. MVP faked an injury, everyone got involved and brawled leading to MVP hitting the black out on Young for the anticlimactic victory. This felt exactly like a match you’d see on Impact to build to a rematch the next week, not something on PPV. The ending, like a lot of the booking on this show, felt lazy.

* We get a long video package on the history of Magnus vs. Hardy.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus: Hardy and Magnus have history dating back to when Magnus joined with Team Dixie and won the world title over Hardy. Magnus had a ton of help and screwed over Hardy when he won the title. Both guys work well together, and while I feel Magnus lacks when it comes to working big time main events, I do feel that he works well with guys like Young and Hardy. They worked a good, basic and clean match and the crowd was finally back into things. They had come good counters and near falls down the stretch, and while not a great main event, it was better than almost everything on this show. Hardy won clean with the twist of fate and swanton to send the Carolina crowd home happy.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

3.0

The final score: review Bad

The 411

This show was bad, really bad, skip at all costs. The agents laid out a poor show, with lazy booking match after match that continually hurt the performers who had to work with their horrible ideas. The worst part is that some of the matches just felt so slow and lacked any energy, and then as the night went on the crowd was dying and not reacting making it all worse. There is nothing here to go out of your way to see, which is disappointing due to the level of talent involved.

Mike Tenay and Taz continue to be an atrocious announce team, largely ignoring matches to talk about bullshit that has nothing to do with the show your watching. It would be one thing of they were hyping later matches, but discussing the NFL and joking about being in the wrong city is disrespectful to the audience and the performers. They should have taken the theme and been discussing the reason that these RIVALS are fighting. But what the hell, asking wrestling announcers to do their job in 2015 is like slamming your head against the wall at this point.

Considering that this show costs $15 I cannot recommend it in anyway and would highly suggest that you avoid the show. There is too much good wrestling out there to spend that money on. To be honest, most editions of Impact have much better wrestling on it, and they also aren’t four months out of date. The bottom line, most these shows aren’t usually too bad, they just simply continue to exist, but this one was simply bad.