wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s WWE Fastlane 2015 Review
Introduction
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.
WWE Fastlane 2015 Review
OFFICIAL RESULTS
~ Big Show, Kane and Seth Rollins defeated Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback @ 12:50 via pin [**]
~ Goldust defeated Stardust @ 9:05 via pin [*¾]
~ WWE Tag Team Title Match: Kidd & Cesaro defeated the Uso to become the NEW CHAMPIONS @ 9:35 via pin [***]
~ WWE Divas Title Match: Champion Nikki Bella defeated Paige @ 5:55 via [**]
~ WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Champion Wade Barrett defeated Dean Ambrose @ 7:58 via DQ [**]
~ WWE United States Title Match: Champion Rusev defeated John Cena @ 18:30 via submission [**¾]
~ #1 Contenders Match: Roman Reigns defeated Daniel Bryan @ 20:10 via pin [***¾]
Big Show, Kane and Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback: My first thought is that this is a good choice to open the show. WWE does six-man tags well, they have established this feud and the crowd gets into Ziggler & Rollins big time. The obvious negative is that we have to watch Kane and Big Show. The heels got the heat on Rowan, which was a mistake because no one really cares about Rowan, at all. Seriously, Ziggler is just standing there and the crowd reacts huge for him. Get the heat on Ziggler, and then get Ryback the hot tag (they were chanting for him as Rowan got beat down), it’s not that hard. The heels took out Ziggler and Ryback did get a hot tag, Ryback also did the Cage spot where you catch the guy going for a blockbuster in suplex position, and turned it into Shell Shock for a fun near fall. The Big Guy finally got a tag to Ziggler, he hit some moves, the crowd started to get back into it but he ate a KO shot from Show and a chokeslam of sorts from Kane to get pinned. While I feel WWE does six-mans well and I generally like them, this one was just fine. I wasn’t really a fan of the layout because I felt it took the crowd out of the match. The heels did the big beat down like they did on Smackdown, and Randy Orton made his return to save the day and start his WrestleMania program with Seth Rollins. He dished out RKOs OUTTA NOWHERE and stood tall to close the segment. Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback may as well be called “The Placeholders,” they got some run in the angle with the Authority but ultimately were there just to take the loss and set up Orton as the avenging savior to take out Rollins.
* Dusty had a meeting with Goldust about his match with Stardust. Goldust hates this, but he’s going to kick his brother’s ass and bring “Cody” home.
Goldust vs. Stardust: Cody has changed up his look a bit, dropping the top of the body suit and going partial face paint. They have been working to get this feud and match for the last three years or so, and they got it but unfortunately the crowd was not into this. Goldust vowed to beat Stardust’s ass so bad he’ll never want to wear face paint again. So they had a heatless grappling bout, Goldust got a pin off a crucifix that no one bought because they were expecting some form of definitive finish. The ref looked to hold up two and people thought the finish was a mistake, but that was supposed to be the finish according to all reports. Post match Goldust tried to make nice but Cody bolted. It was a perfectly “ok” match with little to no heat.
* Highlights of the new Rollins vs. Stewart feud.
* Goldust and Dusty met backstage, and Stardust interrupted. Stardust attacked because they aren’t done yet. He then bitched out Dusty, saying that Dusty killed Cody Rhodes when he sent Goldust to him.
WWE Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd: They have set this up over the past few weeks with a horrible double date segment, and then doing every combination of matches featuring the tag teams and ladies that you could imagine. They worked the knee of Jimmy, which THANKFULLY played into the finish as Kidd kicked the injured knee and hit the fisherman’s neck breaker for the win. It felt a bit frantic at times, but I liked it overall, felt that it made sense to keep the program going and it was the best thing on the PPV thus far.
When The Hs Met Sting: Triple H is serious tonight with taped fists and his leather jacket on. Triple H talked about this being serious business and then Sting appeared with his horrible WWE theme music. Triple H discussed WCW failing and the fact that Sting is nothing but a failure, but then said if Sting walked away he’d secure his legacy through merchandizing, the Network and a possible HOF induction. Or he could beat Sting’s ass and he could erase his legacy. They brawled, Triple H yelled at Sting and then got the sledgehammer but Sting then got his bat and disarmed Triple H. Sting then pointed to the WrestleMania sign (DRINK) and Triple H eventually agreed to the match. Sting hit a bat shot and the death drop and again pointed to the WrestleMania sign (DRINK). Sting never spoke. Commentary tried to hype this as the dream match that we always wanted, but everyone knows that Sting vs. Taker was the match people had wanted even all of these years later. It was a segment, it was basically what it needed to be, and it was fine.
WWE Divas Title Match: Champion Nikki Bella vs. Paige: We got highlights from the horrible build to this match, hopefully the actual match ends up way better than the build. Paige attacked early, showing the frustration from the bullshit she’s had to go through, which I appreciated. They had a back and forth match and they mostly worked well together. Nikki was able to stop the scorpion cross lock, sent Paige to the corner and then got a roll up and sorta had the tights for the pin. Paige actually cared about losing as the Bellas celebrated. Unfortunately the women still get no real time to do anything, which is a shame. This feud seemingly must continue.
* Cole announced that Triple H vs. Sting is official for WrestleMania.
WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Champion Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose: This was another match I wasn’t thrilled with the build up to, but the guys do have the talent to deliver a good match so there is hope. The crowd wants to cheer for Ambrose so badly and wants to believe that he will do something, which considering his booking is amazing. They had a match, they did stuff and then Barrett tried to run away several times. Ambrose continued to attack, and then got disqualified for kicking too much ass. I loathe that finish, especially on PPV. Post match Ambrose hit dirty deeds and walked off with the IC Title, this feud must continue. Once we got about 6-minutes in it felt obvious that they were killing time for some sort of non-decisive finish. This show is going off a cliff.
* We get druids and chanting music as commentary teases the arrival of Taker, his dong hit and a casket was wheeled out. Surprise, it was Bray Wyatt. He used to fear Taker, but now Taker is weak, broken and a shell of his former self. Bray proclaims himself the new face of fear, and he wants to claim Taker’s soul at WrestleMania. Here’s what I don’t get, Taker beats Triple H at WrestleMania, but was so beaten that be became obsessed, shaved his head and forced Triple H (who basically promised to kill him) into a rematch that he didn’t need, since he won. Lesnar beats the streak, the thing that WAS Taker, and there’s been nothing from Taker on that front because he’s all, “nah, I’m cool.” Just throwing that one out there.
WWE United States Title Match: Champion Rusev vs. John Cena: I’ve liked the build to this match better than most, Cena tends to deliver on PPV and I am a big fan of Rusev. This card needs them to deliver something really good in the worst way. The crowd wasn’t all that into this match either, which really says something bad about the product. Between the USA vs. Russia theme and the fact that the crowd always reacts one way or another to Cena, the overall lack of fucks given here was alarming. They eventually got into the finishers and such, but that’s about it. Cena fought forever in the accolade, he was breaking it when Lana got IN THE RING and the ref took his time to escort her out. With the distraction, Rusev kicked Cena in the balls and then superkicked him in the face, reapplied the accolade and Cena passed out. I felt Rusev did well in his first major/long PPV match, he looked as if he belonged, which I felt he has for a long time. I didn’t like the finish, mostly because if you’re going to do a finish like that in the co-main event, you can’t run other shitty finishes earlier in the night. The finish and Cena’s reaction of disappointment would have meant more had they booked the earlier matches smarter. As far as the work went, it was mostly good but again that finish hurt things due to the earlier booking.
#1 Contenders Match: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan: I’ve liked a lot of the interactions these two have had, and the brawl on Raw was well done. The big question is, can Reigns step up in hi first big singles PPV main event? We’ll find out. The winner gets Lesnar at WrestleMania. Bryan countered the Superman punch with a “liver kick,” commentary sold Reigns’ hernia surgery and Bryan then got aggressive and attacked the injury. Overall the crowd was way more into this than anything else on the card, and reacted very well to the near falls down the stretch, including Bryan’s running knee strike. Both guys showed a lot of aggression, which in turn made this feel way more important than anything else that had been presented to this point. Reigns countered the running knee with the spear for the clean win. Post match, Bryan told Reigns that he better kick Lesnar’s ass and offered a handshake. If you think about it, Bryan’s job was to help Reigns look good heading into WrestleMania, and doing the clean job was part of that. Am I personally disappointed that I won’t get Bryan vs. Lesnar, sure, but I also knew that it wasn’t the plan. For a moment I thought that they could go with the three-way, as they almost appeared to be going for an Undertaker vs. Angle finish with that triangle spot, which I appreciated from a drama standpoint. Overall I felt that this was a good and enjoyable match, easily Reigns’ best singles outing to date, but not nearly enough to save a very lackluster show.
* End scene.
* Thanks for reading.
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They set Sting vs. HHH officially, and Lesnar vs. Reigns is now also set. Rollins vs. Orton and Taker vs. Wyatt was all but made official tonight as well. While the main event was easily the best thing on the show, and I did appreciate and the build to WrestleMania, again this show felt more like a Raw than a PPV through out and that is really disappointing. I was really hoping for the company as a whole to go full throttle and get us pumped for WrestleMania, and overall I really didn’t get that. If you got the show for free you’re likely fine with what you got, but I felt it lacked as a PPV product.
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