Csonka’s WWE Monday Night Raw Review (10.06.14)

Introduction
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.

“FOR ONLY $9.99 MICHAEL!”

WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW 10.06.14

OFFICIAL RESULTS
* Dolph Ziggler and The Usos defeated Stardust, Goldust and Cesaro @ 12:15 via [***]
* Bo Dallas defeated Mark Henry @ 1:50 via countout [NR Under Three Minutes Long]
* Brie Bella defeated Summer Rae @ 2:00 via pin with one arm tied behind her back [NR Under Three Minutes Long]
* Jack Swagger defeated Tyson Kidd @ 3:12 via submission [*½]
* El Torito defeated The Gator @ 2:18 via pin [NR]
* Paige and Alicia Fox defeated AJ and Emma @ 2:48 via pin [NR Under Three Minutes Long]
* Non-Title Match: The Miz defeated Sheamus @ 10:25 via pin [**½]
* John Cena defeated Rollins, Orton and Kane @ 4:40 via DQ [*½]

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Angry Seth Rollins Gets to Talk: Angry Seth Rollins was still angry about getting slimed last week, so he showed video of himself curb stomping Cena and Ambrose. The Stooges 2K14 tried to get Rollins to leave the ring, but instead Rollins loved the attention. Cena ran down and attacked, but Rollins escaped into the crowd. Unfortunately for him Ambrose was there and he then attacked. After a short brawl, Stooges 2K14 rescued Rollins, leaving Cena and Ambrose alone. Triple H and Stephanie appeared, and made Cena and Ambrose vs. Rollins, Kane and Orton. This was every Raw open you’ve watched for the last ten years. To explain further, putting the faces up against impossible odds only works when the odds are believably impossible. No one gives a shit about Orton and or Kane, and they aren’t the very least threatening these days. It may as well be Mercury and Noble in there.

Oh yeah…

The Authority has made Big Show go to sensitivity training.

Usos and Ziggler vs. Cesaro, Goldust and Stardust: In theory I generally like these matches, simply for the fact that we’re working on two feuds at once without giving away the matches that will be on the PPV. The mid-card is still an issue; Cesaro and Miz both lost their shots at titles, and are now just going after the other mid-card title. That’s lazy and uninspired. Plus they did do the same match on the September 22nd edition of Raw. Cesaro, Goldust and Stardust attacked early and we had a short brawl, which resulted in Jey being posted for the early heat. A few minutes into the match, it broke down and he heels dominated as we headed to commercial. After a long heat segment on Jey, Ziggler finally got the hot tag and ran wild. Live crowd loved Ziggler and has wanted him in badly, so the reaction was great. Lots of hear falls, leading to a triple superkick on Stardust followed by the top rope splash for the win. This was a fun match, the Usos get the pin to lay claim to a title shot while Cesaro didn’t lose and can continue on with Ziggler.

Kathy Lee and Hota: Kathy Lee and Hota from The Today Show made their appearance, accompanied by the Exotic Express. They shilled Kathy Lee’s wine, danced and then spanked each other with wine bottles that were gimmicked and broke. I have no idea how exactly this was supposed to promote the Susan G. Komen stuff, nor was it entertaining. It felt like a bad wine commercial.

We get another awesome video package for Luke Harper.

Bo Dallas vs. Mark Henry: So these guys faced on Raw last week and Dallas won by pin. They faced on Main Event last week and Dallas won by DQ. So now, for the third time in seven days, we are watching this again. They did some stuff, they went to the floor, Henry beat his ass, looked to put him through a table and Dallas slipped back into the ring to win via countout. Of all the feuds I have seen in my 30 plus years of watching wrestling, this is one of them. Nothing involving these guys makes me care at all, and I do not get why anyone else would care about this.

Friday is the big 15th Anniversary edition of Smackdown.

Angry Dean Ambrose Gets To Talk: Ambrose was pissed that Cena was up in his business, and that he left him to get beat down on Smackdown. He does have a point. Cena got called out, and then the crowd sang “John Cena Sucks” to his music. Cena tried to play off his actions by saying that Ambrose would have done the same. Ambrose agrees, because he doesn’t give a crap about Cena. They don’t care about each other, and they don’t care what others think about them, but Ambrose said he’s drop Cena where he stands and fight the Authority by themselves. Cena basically said the same thing and told Ambrose not to give him a reason not to like him. Ambrose decided he was hungry, said he was heading to Coney Island for a hot dog and to ride some rides, and bailed on Cena. It was fine I suppose; I am just not feeling the direction of this whole thing with Cena involved. I get why Cena wants Rollins (the NOC finish) but it has taken away from Rollins vs. Ambrose, which I feel was being built so well. Also, Ambrose’s interactions with Cena, while fun at times, just don’t click overall with me. I don’t even want him teased as Cena’s buddy in any way.

Back from commercial and we see Dean Ambrose heading onto the Q-Train.

Cena walks and Triple H appears and jokes with him about Ambrose bailing on him. Cena gave no fucks and promised to still work the match tonight. Triple H did him a solid and promised to make Rollins start the match, so Cena could get at him.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae: Nikki is placing Brie in matches she had to go through while Brie was gone. Tonight she has to face Summer Rae with one hand tied behind her back. Nikki watched on as Layla danced at ringside. Brie tripped Summer into Layla, hit a charging knee and scored the pin. She then did the YES chant. So brie overcame the odds and stands tall, which I guess is good for her because she’s pissing her sister off, but over all I have no real reason to empathize with Brie or want to support her.

Miz had sent the Authority a fruit basket for being a douche last week. They argued, Kane made Miz vs. Shemaus for later tonight. Sandow stole the fruit basket back.

Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd: Natalya is with Kidd, so this appears to be out weekly Total Divas follow up. Kidd did the classic heel shtick of using his lady as a shield to get an advantage on his opponent. No real heat for the match because Kidd is never on main WWE TV, and Swagger has gone cold post Rusev. We got the usual “We The People” stuff, but it felt more chanting to do something that real emotion. Swagger won clean with the ankle lock. Kidd was mad because Natalya didn’t help him win. This feels so forced to go along with the Total Divas show, which generally has a completely different audience. I wish that they would have had them on TV and building to this, leading into Total Divas starting again, so that this would have had a chance to feel a bit organic.

Sick Roman Reigns Speaks: Reigns joined us live via satellite. This was not good at all. Cole asked how he was, he said getting better, he want s to come back and kick ass, believe that. The scripting was not good as Reigns felt forced in his speaking, there was no new information given and basically no real thought put into the segment. There was no reason to have this on the show.

El Torito w/Los Matadores vs. The Gator w/O’Neil and Slater: The commentary team is doing that “out this over as real” while doing the big fake laughs because Vince is yelling at them to do so because he feels this is hilarious. Torito covered the head of the Gator to calm him, which led to comedy as he did the Gator roll on Slater. They did some more stuff, Torito won, I do not give a single solitary fuck because I feel as if I have seen those two work a ton and it all feels the same. More fake laughter from commentary. .Does anyone else realize that we are three weeks from the Hell in a Cell PPV and they have announced NO MATCHES for this PPV? But hey, we have time for the Bull and the Gator to have a “match”.

The Rock Appeared For This Week’s Half Time Special: The Big Show was sent to sensitivity training for ripping down the Russian flag and for his piss poor apology on Smackdown. Lana and Rusev talked shit about America, and then, The Rock appeared. He cut a promo and named about every borough in New York, which got the big reaction from the crowd, and then he started a Derek Jeter chant. Lana stood up to Rock, Rock called her a Soviet Street walker, and Rusev said he’s crush Rock. Rock did the usual Rock comedy to insult Rusev, but also put him over as a monster that had been running through the roster. That was right before he called them assholes. Rock then laid in the punches and sent Rusev packing. Listen, I love the Rock and I have no problem with a special appearance, but there was NO ONE ELSE they could have done this with? I get it, because it’s the Rock, people will defend this as fine. But Rusev has been mowing people down with little to no issue, we couldn’t have saved Slater Gator for something like this? At the very least give Rusev something, but he got made to look like a bitch. Some have said that “WWE must think highly of Rusev to book him in a segment with Rock” and if he and Lana would have gone 50-50 on the mic and Rusev would have gotten something in during the brawl, I could have agreed with that. But that didn’t happen. This will lead to nothing, Rusev will likely never ever get his heat back, but hey they likely popped a rating, so in WWE’s eyes it is all good. Maybe this is another reason why the current crop of stars never get over like “the old guys,” because they are never put over like the old guys, they always bring back the old guys for WrestleMania, and then do shit like this to a rising star who will never get to have a chance to be on Rock’s level. But hey, apparently this saved the show for some. I’m glad if you feel that way, I liked seeing Rock as well, but this did nothing for anyone involved. Yes I realize that this is not a popular take.

Paige and Alicia Fox vs. AJ Lee and Emma: AJ’s reaction to Emma doing her goofy ass dance to the ring was spectacular. Emma took control, did goofy dancing and pissed off AJ, so she bailed. Emma got beat down and pinned as AJ watched on. The wrestling, while not much, was fine. But please explain to me why we’re supposed to like AJ Lee? I mean, I get that Emma’s not really her best friend or anything, but that’s a complete bitch move. Must be that new booking, like having no matches announced for the PPV that is three weeks away.

New creepy promo for Erick Rowan. Also, judging by the video, Bray Wyatt may have knocked a chick up.

They wish Bruno Sammartino a happy birthday.

Sheamus vs. Miz: Miz and Sheamus worked through the commercial and no one cared, because they were too busy chanting for Sandow. Again, I hate that Cesaro and Miz both lost their shots at titles, and are now just going after the other mid-card title. That’s lazy and uninspired booking, like they don’t realize that they have more than four guys that can fight for these titles. Sandow saves Miz at one point, there were shenanigans and we got our weekly distraction finish as Sheamus booted Sandow to the floor, allowing Miz to roll up Sheamus for the win. The match was fine; the finish was the weekly, lazy ass, distraction finish. It’s like a fucking security blanket at this point. I may have cared if this was a fresh heel here, but it’s Miz who just traded the IC Title with Ziggler. It is so repetitive at this point that it is annoying. The match was fine.

We get a segment with Joan Lunden and the breast cancer survivors who are at ringside.

John Cena vs. Rollins, Orton and Kane: Rollins did start the match, but tagged out immediately to Kane. They wrestled for a bit, the odds got to Cena and we got a DQ ending. Ambrose then appeared with a hotdog cart from Coney Island. He squirted ketchup and mustard on Orton and Kane and then ran them over with the cart before attacking Rollins. It ended up on the floor, Ambrose spilled food on Rollins and then attacked his testicles with the tongs. I feel they are using too much comedy for Rollins vs. Ambrose, I mean, dude puts your head through cinder blocks and you come back with slime and tongs to the balls? Cena and Ambrose would take out Kane and Orton as Rollins escaped. This led to Triple H and Stephanie coming out on the stage. They booked Cena vs. Ambrose for HIAC, with the winner facing Rollins in Hill in a Cell. Ambrose laid out Cena to close the show. This came off well, especially since there was no mention of that ridiculous “loser of Cena vs. Ambrose faces Orton” bullshit. This was an overall fine ending to a pretty cold show.

End scene.

Thanks for reading.

Larry Csonka is a Pisces and enjoys rolling at jiu jitsu class with Hotty McBrownbelt, cooking, long walks on the beach, Slingo and the occasional trip to Jack in the Box. He is married to a soulless ginger and has two beautiful daughters who are thankfully not soulless gingers; and is legally allowed to marry people in 35 states. He has been a wrestling fan since 1982 and has been writing for 411 since May 24th, 2004; contributing over 3,000 columns, TV reports and video reviews to the site.

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“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

As I sat here watching tonight, almost nothing clicked for me as a fan. Nothing got me emotionally invested in the show, outside of the Rock appearing. I loved the nostalgic feeling, but at the same time felt that it did damage to Rusev. They have comedy goofs like Slater Gator on the roster; use those guys, not the guy you’re building as a monster heel. Hell I was more excited about Edge and Christian promoting the Edge and Christian’s 15th Anniversary SmackDown Show that Totally Reeks of Awesomeness special than 90% of this show.

Hell in a Cell is three weeks way, and while we’re teasing and doing build for some matches, they had announced exactly zero matches prior to 11:08PM ET. I don’t want to hear excuses that “PPV I dead because of the network,” they are still building to a major event. So that makes the lack of solid direction and announced matches is quite pathetic. You should be making those that buy PPV still WANT to buy the PPV, and you should make a big effort to make people buy the damn network since you’ve made the call to cannibalize PPV. I was really hoping that they would have more locked in at this point. Nothing on this show got me excited for the PPV.

Speaking of the build to the PPV, they have taken the one feud I was invested in, Rollins vs. Ambrose, and have tried to get too cute with Cena involved. I get that they had to change directions, but just because they dropped the ball and couldn’t get Lesnar in for HIAC doesn’t mean that the one feud that was deserving of a Hell in a Cell match should be bastardized. Rollins and Ambrose was easy, it made sense due to the Shield split, it was perfectly organic and was perfectly building to Hell in Cell. Now Cena is involved, based on the Night of Champions attack, and it feels way too forced. I don’t care about Ambrose vs. Cena, I don’t even want it as a stop off on the road to Rollins, they were booking Rollins vs. Ambrose so well, and now, now I am worried. Why? Because I lack faith in the WWE creative team.

Overall, nothing on the show felt really important, and I felt that this was not that good of show overall. It was generally filler, and if you take out the appearance by the Rock, well then it was an exercise is wasting three hours. They did not deliver on the advertised Show vs. Rusev match, and the roman Reigns “interview” was a complete waste.