Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 1.05.15

Introduction
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.

“FOR ONLY $9.99 MICHAEL!”

WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW 1.05.15

OFFICIAL RESULTS
~ Two out of Three Falls IC Title Match: Wade Barrett defeated Champion Dolph Ziggler @ approx 10:00 combined via pin (2 falls to 1) to become the new champion [**¾]
~ The Ascension squashed Johnny and Jimmy Bootsentights [NR]
~ Roman Reigns defeated Big Show @ 5:30 via DQ [*]
~ Non-Title Match: Natalya defeated Champion Nikki Bella @ 1:15 via pin [NR]
~ Luke Harper defeated Erick Rowan @ 1:10 via pin [NR]
~ Ambulance Match: Bray Wyatt defeated Dean Ambrose @ 19:45 [***]
~ Miz, Sandow and Fox defeated Usos and Naomi @ 4:00 via pin [*½ ]
~ Handicap Match: Kane and Rollins defeated Ryback @ 11:50 via pin [**]
~ Big E defeated Adam Rose @ 1:55 via DQ [NR]

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The Authority Spectacularly Gloats: lets get this out of the way. We all know that I am not a fan of the show opening promo, nor was I a fan of bringing back the Authority five weeks or so after Survivor Series. That being said, I actually thought that the show’s opening segment was good. Cena acting sad and remorseful because he brought back the Authority, the Authority coming out and being completely over the top with their thanks and just being general douche bags. Add onto that the fact that they added Rollins to the Rumble title match and made it “John Cena appreciation night,” it was spectacularly insincere and came off about as well as I could have hoped. I actually liked this, now do something fresh next week please now that we’re reset with the Authority.

Ziggler vs. Barrett: The match was made in the opening by the Authority. On one hand you knew it was a ploy to screw over Ziggler, since he won the Survivor Series match, but at least it made sense as they did mention that Barrett never lost his title, so I appreciated that. They worked for about 2 ½ minutes when Ziggler scored a flash pin, presumably retaining the title. But Barrett then beat his ass for what seemed like 10-minutes around the ringside area, and Kane appeared to announce that it was actually a two of three falls match. Barrett evened up things and after a long commercial break (where Ziggler got “medical attention”), the match continued. They worked hard and the third fall was good. Since Kane stayed around, he predictably got involved, distracting Ziggler leading to the Bull Hammer and title for Barrett. I’m torn on the title change. On one hand, fucking Ziggler makes sense due to the Survivor Series match where Ziggler ended up the hero. But on the other hand, he just got the title back and was doing good things with it. They better be serious with Barrett, because Ziggler was actually making me care about the belt again.

* Roman Reigns cut a promo, apparently he’s the new Superman; or he’s going to violate Big Show with his fist, maybe both.

* Bray Wyatt cut a promo with the smoke monster from Lost about tonight’s Ambulance match.

The Ascension vs. Johnny and Jimmy Bootsentights: The Ascension talked, they mentioned Demolition and the Road Warriors, which has to be the biggest mistake in the world to have these guys do. You have already made them look like the bastard children of the Warriors and Demolition, don’t have them bring them up, ever, at all. The only thing worse than them making the reference was commentary basically making fun of them for doing so. The squash was exactly what it was supposed to be, do not have them talk and do not have them mention Demolition and the Road Warriors, and get them a mouthpiece.

* Lana and Rusev talked Russian Christmas, shit on America and praised Vladimir Putin.

Roman Reigns vs. Big Show: I have not gotten into this Show vs. Reigns feud at all. Let me ask you this, if you were setting up a star for a big push, would you have him go through the generally useless Big Show, or would you have them go to non-finishes and rely on heatless post match angles? How hard is it, if you want to push Reigns, he beats Show and he beats him clean and you move on and you have him keep mowing down guys. It isn’t like working Show will help him progress as a performer, and the matches aren’t good, at all. The worst part is that I feel they are going to drag this out to the Rumble, but the non-finishes and laying each other out is getting repetitive and feuding Show is killing any interest I have in Reigns.

Natalya vs. Nikki: Brie was with Nikki and Paige was with Natalya. They of course ended up brawling at ringside, allowing Natalya to get a roll up in what ended up being a really short and nothing divas match as usual. What the hell is the point if you never give them any time? The ladies are only around because of Total Divas it seems, because the “booking” is non-existent. Natalya and Nikki trading wins that they attain in around one-minute in back to back weeks does no one any good.

* Ambrose cut a promo about tonight’s Ambulance match.

* Commentary makes mention of Stuart Scott’s passing.

Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper: Erick Rowan came out to absolutely no reaction, and it’s not surprising considering his booking as of late. Much like the Smackdown match with Bray Wyatt, we’re getting this match with no announcement, no build, and just tossed out there with no meaning. Yes it plays off of the fact that they were on opposite teams at Survivor Series, and Noble and Mercury as the refs are certainly out there to screw Rowan, but I can’t help but to think that this could have meant more if they wanted it too. Noble and Mercury wouldn’t count for Rowan, Harper hit a clothesline and then they fast counted Rowan. The booking is similar to the Ziggler match, where the Authority is looking to screw people over now that they are back in power. But I also feel that the Wyatts had a good run and Harper and Rowan were a good team, so I want the match (and possible feud) to actually mean something. Of course since the Wyatts had no real break up, it’s hard to do that. Match was short and more angle than actual match, I just wish there had been some sort of actual build to this. Rowan has zero momentum at this time. The fact that the crowd was almost silent the whole time tells the story of the poor booking I feel.

* The Usos and Naomi face Miz, Sandow and Alicia Fox later tonight.

* Naomi and Fox met backstage and professed their friendship even though they are on separate sides tonight. Fox then brings up that Naomi is not on Total Divas anymore and attacks her. Summer, Emma and Cameron are there. WHY is Cameron there? Shouldn’t SHE be teaming with Miz and Sandow, since she and Naomi split, feuded and never actually finished their feud?

* Gotcha.

* We get a video package of the Wyatt vs. Ambrose feud, starting at Hell in a Cell when Wyatt appeared out of the smoke monster from Lost. I just wish Bray had actually given a real reason for attacking other than, “We’re alike Dean, you and I…”

Wyatt vs. Ambrose: There’s not exactly a long history of great ambulance matches, so lets hope that these guys can deliver something entertaining. Both guys worked really hard, but the crowd was not responsive for a lot of it, only wanting the tables and reacting to the big spots. I think part of it is that these guys have worked so many gimmick matches that this didn’t feel important or definitive. Wyatt wins, as WWE is reportedly protecting him for a possible feud with Taker. Ambrose continues to lose his high profile matches, and the guy that was so over a few months ago feels to be in complete limbo, which is a shame; they have no clue what to do with him at this time. Again, the work was good, but the crowd did not care until the big stuff. I also felt that the commentary team also failed to put this over as a huge victory or defining victory for Wyatt, completely missing the moment and impact of the victory. That’s shooting par for WWE commentary.

* On Smackdown, Seth Rollins appears on Miz TV.

The Usos and Naomi vs. Miz, Sandow and Alicia Fox: This was pretty much a nothing match to continue the Miz & Sandow vs. Usos feud. They worked a bit, Sandow did his stuff, Miz got a sneaky roll up, this feud must continue. This is par for the course with WWE and their 50/50 booking, Usos win the titles last week, lose this week, and they wonder why no one is really over or why the fans cannot properly invest in most talent. Also, while Fox is a better wrestler, it simply makes no sense for Miz & Sandow not to have Cameron as the partner. She has unfinished business with Naomi, is still on Total Divas and has that “singing career” that they could have said Miz is helping her with.

Ryback vs. Kane and Seth Rollins: Again, playing into the show opening promo, this does make sense because the Authority is looking to punish Team Cena for the Survivor Series loss. Kane and Seth Rollins won the match as they should have, because it was a handicap match and the heels had all of the advantage. I felt that they gave Ryback enough to not make him look like a complete goof, including Rollins needing two curb stomps to finish him off. They could have trimmed a few minutes off of this.

Adam Rose vs. Big E: They worked a short match, Big E looked to be in control when two of the “Rosebuds” attacked Big E and laid out the New Day. It was Cesaro and Kidd in full body suits, and they then celebrated with Rose. It felt completely random. JBL tried to sell that Cesaro and Kidd are going after the other tag teams, I guess, but the Kidd and Cesaro hanging with Adam Rose is the definition of random to me.

John Cena Appreciation Night: The Authority thanked Cena for bringing them back, in a very condescending and insincere way, which actually came off well. They then brought out Ziggler, Ryback and Rowan, who has all had their asses handed to them tonight. The Authority then played mind games to pit them against Cena by threatening suspension. Stephanie then “FIRED” all three of them, which got a shit reaction because no one believes in stipulations anymore. The Authority then mockingly praised Cena as music played and confetti fell. What a way to close the show as they all stood there, and never even once though to attack Triple H after they were “FIRED”. Ziggler, Ryback and Rowan were completely derailed tonight.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

3.5

The final score: review Bad

The 411

The main story of the show was that the Authority was back and they were here to make sure everyone knew it. They wanted revenge from the Survivor Series, and they got it by costing Ziggler the IC Title, boning Rowan in his match with Harper and doing the same with Ryback later on. They then concluded it by making John Cena look like the big asshole for bringing them back. Unfortunately the show was filled with the usual poor booking, short matches, shit finishes and heatless segments.

But in many ways, this show, this show is WWE getting what it deserves. This show was filled with bad booking, bad crowd reactions and it largely was a mess. The WWE is paying for their short-term booking, they are paying for not seeing things through and now they are in the position they are in. The best example is the basis of this show, the Authority is rushed back and the WWE never really built up the baby face roster while they were gone as something the fans could truly get behind. Now the heels look strong while the face reactions are poor due to lack of emotional investment from the crowds.

If you missed the show, you can skip it.