wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 3.16.15
Introduction
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.
MONDAY NIGHT RAW 3.16.15
OFFICIAL RESULTS
~ Non-Title Match: Champion Nikki Bella defeated AJ Lee @ 11:00 via pin [**]
~ Ryback defeated Miz @ 2:07 via pin [NR]
~ Non-Title Match: Kidd & Cesaro defeated New Day @ 1:49 via pin [NR]
~ Big Show vs. Erick Rowan never officially started
~ Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose defeated Bad News Barrett, Stardust and Luke Harper @ 17:10 via pin [***]
~ Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton never officially started
* We open with a video package, featuring the Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins feud.
AUTHORITY TALKING TIME: Rollins, Kane, Show and J&J are in the ring to kick off the show. Rollins ran down the crowd, and then ran down Orton for the way he infiltrated the Authority and then turned on them. Rollins’ delivery is getting really good. Show then spoke, and said he felt partly responsible for what happened and vowed to crush the viper. Kane then apologized, and vowed to make Orton pay. Noble spoke, Mercury cried in Big Show’s arms and then Rollins took back over. He accepted Orton’s challenge for Mania, but only if Orton faced him tonight. Why? Why would you book a Mania match to take place two weeks before Mania on free TV? Orton arrived, said he made Rollins look like a bitch and will beat Rollins tonight. He also said he knew that Rollins would have the numbers game, and that he better take advantage of it because if he makes Mania, he will end the future of the WWE. The promo work was good overall to set up the match officially, but I absolutely hate them announcing a one on one match that will take place at Mania. I hate handicap matches and all, but at least stack the odds against Orton so it doesn’t feel like your just giving a match away. And yes, I am sure there will be a shit finish, at least there better be because the only thing worse than giving away the match would be doing a finish.
Non-Title Match: Champion Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee: Paige and Brie are also out there. The Bellas cut a pre-recorded promo, noting that they are sisters and that they will humiliate Paige and AJ at Mania. They got more time than the usual divas match, and got to go through the commercial. Nikki worked the arm for a bit, and then AJ forgot about that and applied a guillotine with the same arm. They completely abandoned it after that, making that whole part of the match useless. Brie posted Paige, which distracted AJ and Nikki laid her out with forearm strike and hit the rack attack for the win. The match was fine overall minus the whole forgetting the arm work. I did appreciate them actually getting time to try and sell the Mania match.
* We get a Smackdown rematch later as Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose face off with Bad News Barrett, Stardust and Luke Harper. Poor R-Truth.
* We get highlights of Roman Reigns laying out Mark Henry on Smackdown.
* Renee Young is with Kane and Show. Kane says he has decided that Show will be in Rollins’ corner tonight. Show was upset that he wasn’t informed about this, Rollins appeared and reminded them that this shit got them sent home last week. He asks how stupid can they be, and Kane then said they enjoyed what happened to him last week. Kane reminded him that he helped Rollins win MITB, and said he won’t be at ringside, and said Show can make his own choice. Show just walked away.
Ryback vs. The Miz: This is a rematch from Smackdown. Pre-recorded promo, where Miz threatens Sandow to make sure he wins the Andre battle royal or he’ll be fired. At one point Ryback held Miz and told Sandow to hit him, he considered it but Miz escaped and yelled at Sandow, Moments later Ryback hit shell shock for the win. It was a shorter version of the Smackdown match, with Sandow at ringside. Post match Sandow tried to help Miz up, but ate a skull-crushing finale. It was acceptable build for the battle royal, minus the whole wins and losses not mattering if you stand tall at the end and your music plays gimmick.
* We get a video package for Cena vs. Rusev.
* Sheamus is still supposedly returning.
Cena-Rusev Contract Signing: Cole introduced Cena first and asked him to sign the contract. Cena said that this contact will be the most important one he signs. He puts over Rusev’s reign of terror, and that he is the US Champion. It doesn’t sit well with Cena that Rusev represents the US, and he has to get the title off of him. Cena went into Americana hype mode, and spoke about his work with the soldiers and how that fills him with pride. Bur Rusev being US Champion brings him shame, so the contract is a Declaration of Independence and match will be his revolution. Cena signed, and then Rusev came out without Lana. Rusev had a mystery man with him, and the crowd chanted “WE WANT LANA”. It’s Rusev’s attorney, and he says that Rusev will not sign the contract because he did not agree to the match. He runs video of Steph saying Rusev needs to change his mind and then of Lana agreeing to the match. This dude’s accent is horrible. He then said that Rusev would agree to the match if Cena let him read a prepared statement, uninterrupted. Rusev ran down the US and Cena for being weak and worshipping failures, which pissed off Cena. Rusev finished and vowed that the US would die, which only enraged Cena and for the USA chants rolling. Rusev quickly signed, dumped the table and then ran. The idea behind this was good, as were Cena and Rusev. The prepared statement played the crowd well, and Cena’s reactions played into his Americana promo prior to when Rusev came out. Unfortunately the fake Russian guy was absolutely brutal and Vince (through JBL) burying the guy on commentary took away from the overall presentation. This guy was one of the worst “actors” ever used he was so bad. This was unfortunate timing for Lana to be gone filming a movie, that’s for sure.
Non-Title Match: Champions Kidd and Cesaro vs. New Day (Kofi and Big E): This is a rematch from last week’s Raw. Los Matadores came out to watch the match. They did some stuff, and the champions go their win back in a short and forgettable match. The Matadores then tossed Kofi in the ring for Cesaro to beat him down. And then Cesaro had to sell for Torito, who cleared him from the ring so that the Matadores could celebrate. Such lazy booking for the tag team title everyone gets on the card participatory ribbon match at Mania.
* Highlights from last week’s Raw, where Taker accepted Wyatt’s challenge for Mania.
* Rollins reprimands J&J about leaving him high and dry last week,, and Noble argues with him. Rollins then slapped him and threatened to fire him. Noble then quits. Mercury also bails. Yup, they’re trying to play Orton like he played them last week.
PRE-RECORDED BROCK LESNAR TALKY TIME: This was one of those really well produced video interviews, where Brock comes off as a bad ass as he discusses being put on earth to seek out and destroy others. Mania means getting paid more to kick ass, which is what he does. He doesn’t care how people reacted to him defeating Taker either, he loved their disappointment. He then spoke about his contract, and said that if he stays he will remain WWE champion, and if he goes, he will be WWE champion and Reigns cannot stop that. He is the man that sent Rock to Hollywood, suplexed Cena out of the main event and ended Taker’s streak. His message to Reigns was to think and dream about winning all you want, but Brock will kick his ass because this isn’t a fairy tale. He promised to fuck up Roman Reigns, the end. I love Brock, this was easily the best thing on the show.
Big Show vs. Erick Rowan: Like their match a few weeks ago on Smackdown, Show attacked before the bell and beat down Rowan. He then hit the KO shot and then hit an elbow drop off of the second rope. The match never started, this was just here to remind people that Big Show is big and can hurt people.
* Larry Zbyszko is the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2015.
Kane and a bunch of goofs are in the ring: Kan, Axel, Rose, Titus, Young, Goldust, Swagger, Ryder, Slater and Fandango are all in the ring. Kane vows to win the Andre battle royal, Mark Henry then comes out to join the party. They brawl, Kane and Henry toss guys as Axel chills by the trophy on the floor. Kane and Henry go face to face to about no reaction. Henry tries to toss Kane, Axel in and Kane falls to the floor. Henry then tosses him. So… we basically gave away a mini-version of the Mania match in 2-minutes? Gotcha. Some will claim that this is “great build,” to me it’s giving me shit that’s supposed to be important in 13 days.
* Los Matadores and Torito vs. Kidd, Cesaro and Natalya is set for Smackdown.
PAUL HEYMAN TALKY TIME: Heyman came out and stated that Lesnar is a conqueror and a beast, and he doesn’t give any fucks about the rules because he’s going to war at Mania with Reigns. And if Lesnar decides to break the rules and go ape shit, there is nothing WWE can do about it. In what has to be a running gag now, Heyman’s mic went dead for the third straight week I believe. Heyman again simply does such a great job of putting over Lesnar, and then Reigns and making the match seem not only important but like it will be a fight. Heyman’s sell mode is fantastic, and just as he started to go insane yelling that Reigns couldn’t beat Lesnar, reigns came to the ring. Reigns has a new shirt that says, “I Can. I Will.” Reigns put over Heyman and said that this was between he and Lesnar, and then addressed the champion. He expects a fight, wants a war, and says there will be plenty of family to carry him out of the ring, but he’ll have the WWE title with him. Reigns got in the “I Can. I Will” catchphrase, noting that he believes that. This was some of Reigns’ better work, not great, but they had the right idea. Keep it short, direct and to the point and cut the bullshit comedy stuff and he’s fine. I enjoyed the segment, and felt it was effective in helping to sell the Mania main event as a fight. I am not personally sold on Reigns at all, but I do want to see Lesnar toss him around and go beast mode on him.
* Renee Young interviewed Heyman, who liked where things were heading. He promised that Lesnar would be on Raw next week and that he will face off with Reigns.
Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett, Stardust and Luke Harper: This is another rematch from Smackdown. R-Truth, who was not invited to participate again, made his way out to the ring. Likely to do wacky things. Yup, he has the IC Title clipped to the back of his suit jacket. It’s such a shame that they feel Truth doing wacky commentary is more important than him wrestling and or being a viable part of building a Mania match. They gave them a lot of time, likely remembering that having some wrestling on a wrestling show would be a good plan. Daniel Bryan got a great hot tag, ran wild and then shit broke down. Ambrose hit dirty deeds and pinned Barrett after a hot closing stretch. There was brawling and Stardust stole the IC Title and ran away. Ambrose chased and got the title back, until he dropped it and Truth took it. They continued to play hot potato and then Ziggler and Bryan played tug of war with it and brawled. More brawling, and then Barrett laid out just about everyone with the bull hammer and took the title back. I am still not a fan of the build overall, But feel the match will be really good. The crowd reacted well to the closing stretch and the shenanigans with the title, which is a good thing.
* Triple H and Steph were backstage and Rollins came to complain about everyone abandoning him. He wanted them to fix it, and Steph has no sympathy for him. Rollins spoke up and Triple H got pissy with him. Steph told him to take responsibility for his actions and to man up. IT’S A TRAP! But hey, Steph got to cut off someone’s balls again, so all is well.
* Highlights from last week’s Raw, where Taker accepted Wyatt’s challenge for Mania.
* Wyatt cut a pre-taped promo from an undisclosed location with an urn. He spoke of Sister Abigail and the way she spoke. The world is full of lies, and people like Taker. Taker tried to use the memory against him to scare him, but all Taker did was to turn a chair to dust. But what is left of Taker; agony, fear? Last year you were broken and left with an empty soul and now Taker is afraid to show his face. Destiny was taken from Taker, and now his fate is sealed. At Mania, it will be Taker’s resting place and Wyatt’s coronation. He will take his place among the Gods, and then no one will be safe. Behold the new face of fear. That was good stuff.
Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton: Rollins came out and said it took three weeks for Orton to fool the Authority, but it only took him three hours to fool Orton. The Authority then all came out. Orton got a chair as they all surrounded him, the crowd chanted for Sting. Thankfully they’re not doing a match. The Authority went to attack, but then the lights dropped, crow sounds were heard and Sting and the bat were there when the lights came on. Sting and Orton cleared the ring to a huge pop, and then Sting took out J&J with the splash and death drop. Orton hit the RKO on Mercury as Sting held off the Authority. Sting got a great reaction here and this was a very good way to close the show. The only gripe was that Cole needed to shut the hell up, lay out and allow the cool moment to speak for itself.
* End scene.
* Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
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