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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 3.27.17

March 27, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
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6.5
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 3.27.17  

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 3.27.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Bayley & Sasha Banks defeated Charlotte & Nia Jax @ 13:00 via pin [**¾]
– Austin Aries defeated Noam Dar @ 7:40 via submission [**]
Over The Top Rope Challenge: No One @ 2:50 [DUD]
Non-Title Match: Cruiserweight Champion Neville defeated Jack Gallagher @ 7:40 via submission [**½]
No DQ Match: Sami Zayn defeated Kevin Owens @ 11:10 via pin [***½]


– This is the big go home Raw for WrestleMania…

– Spooky Undertaker graveyard footage kicks off the show, see you at 11:03 Taker.

– They ALMOST started right off with a match, but opted for a Bayley promo. She tells stories about loving WrestleMania and chipping in with friends to by the show. Charlotte had enough of that shit, and made her way out, and calls her a paper champion and reminds her that Banks has made her into a pawn. Banks helped Bayley win the title so that she could get back into the title picture, and used her best friend to do so. Charlotte played mind games, which led to Sasha Banks (complete with new paint job) to come out and dispute these claims. Jax then made her way out, called them all girls and mocks them for trading the title around. She promises to eliminate them all at Mania, and says that the title will then have a permanent home. They all brawled.

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Bayley & Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte & Nia Jax: Charlotte and Banks worked a nice and aggressive back and forth, Jax tagged in and Banks largely ran away and allowed the heels to work the heat on Bayley. Bayley survived, Charlotte in particular is working with a great sense of purpose tonight. Banks got the hot tag and ran wild until Jax tagged in and then sent her to the floor. Post break, the heels continued the heat on Banks, with Jax simply tossing her around. Banks would eventually slam Charlotte into Jax and then get the hit tag to Bayley. Bayley ran wild until Charlotte attacked the knee and locked in the figure four until Banks made the save. Banks then posted Jax, Bayley to belly on Charlotte and that’s that. Bayley & Sasha Banks defeated Charlotte & Nia Jax @ 13:00 via pin [**¾] I love that they gave the women the first 30-minutes of the show (nearly 17% of the go home show) to the women. I think that overall this was well done, Bayley picked up a needed victory and then Jax got to run wild and lay everyone out to look strong leading into the main event. They’ve teased the Banks heel turn with Charlotte hitting it hard tonight, so that will be in the back of everyone’s mind come Sunday. The match was pretty good, but overall, I’d call the 30-minutes a good segment and use of time to push the ladies; I may not be a fan of the match and how they got there, but this was effective to hype things up for the match.

– We get a promo for Friday’s WWE Hall of fame ceremony.

– We then get highlights from Foley’s firing last week.

– Sami Zayn says it’s been a tough week and that it’s odd without Foley around. He wants to honor Foley’s legacy, and enters the Andre The Giant Battle Royal, and is dedicating it to Foley. Stephanie arrives…

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…and says Zayn is only in if he wins a NO DQ match against Kevin Owens tonight, other wise he is fired…

– Neville is out on commentary. Neville vs. Aries is officially on the pre-show.

Austin Aries vs. Noam Dar: Aries hit the shotgun dropkick, sending Dar to the floor and us to a commercial break, Dar battled back and controlled for a bit until Aries cut him off, sent Dar to the floor and hit the heat seeking missile. Back in and Aries hit an elbow and then the rolling forearm, yelled at Neville and then won with the last chancery. Austin Aries defeated Noam Dar @ 7:40 via submission [**] This was a perfectly fine match, with clean work but once again, Aries’ opponent got in way too much offense. Since his return, Aries has simply been just another guy, working the usual solid WWE cruiserweight formula, and going 50/50 with everyone.

– Seth Rollins is in the building.

– We get Cole discussing the Undertaker teaser video from earlier tonight.

SETH ROLLINS MAY SIGN A PAPER TO FIGHT THE THREE Hs: Rollins makes his way out to the ring and calls out the Triple H. Triple H tells Rollins to sit the fuck down and listen to him, and if Rollins attacks before the paper is signed, there will be no fight at Mania. Triple H teases leaving, so Rollins sits like a good boy. Triple H says once Rollins signs, it means that he gives up his rights and he can tear him apart at Mania and basically rip his leg off and Rollins then can’t sue anyone associated with Triple H, WWE or his family. Triple H promises to kill what he created. Rollins just wants to sign the damn paper. He then says if you aren’t making enemies then you aren’t making money; Triple H would rather live the good life, grab life by the balls and screw everyone else. He even says that once he is done with Rollins that maybe they can patch him up enough so he can go back to work in front of a few hundred people at the armories. “If you sign this paper, you’ll walk into WrestleMania, but you won’t walk out.” Rollins then told Triple H that he was full of shit, and realized that he liked himself before he met triple H and didn’t mind wrestling for a hot dog and a handshake. Rollins said this isn’t about revenge, it’s about redemption because he gave it all up to stand with Triple H. “You better be prepared to rip my leg off an best me with it, because nothing will stop me from getting back what I lost, getting back to being Seth FREAKIN Rollins.” Rollins signed and triple H kicked the table into his knee and then grabbed the crutch, but Rollins hit an enziguri and looked for a pedigree but Triple H attacked the knee, but Rollins managed to send him to the floor and then hit him with the crutch. Really great segment, with Triple H delivering once again and together they set the dynamic well for their match. Rollins was also really good, and I liked the shift from revenge to redemption.

– WWE.com is listing the Andre Battle Royal for the pre-show.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: Big Show and Jinder Mahal started, Mahal was tossed quickly and then Bo Dallas entered. Tossed quickly. The Shining Stars were next. They tried and failed to attack and were tossed. Goldust, Truth and Axel then hit the ring. The Stars and Dallas returned and they all tossed Show. Show came back in, did a roar spot, dished out chokeslams and KO punches. Truth and Goldust smartly bailed. BRAUN then arrived, claimed he could kick Show’s ass but said everyone had to wait until Mania. No One @ 2:50 [NR] Well that was largely stupid, with no set rules and no winner. The short BRAUN promo was fine. It feels like they set up the final two men here.

– Anderson & Gallows face Enzo & Cass tonight. They mock Enzo & Cass and promise to retain the titles at Mania.

– Undertaker digs a hole.

– Reigns is interviewed backstage. He’s a grown man and doesn’t care about mind games or dead men. He’s all about the big fight.

– New Day visited the NYSE and gave out New Day pops. They visited the rocky statue and Kofi & Woods ran the steps while Big E ate BootyOs and magically won.

– Sheamus & Cesaro talk, noting that they would not let Foley down, but Anderson and Gallows attacked then and laid them out using a ladder. I really hope that this isn’t a last minute way to set up a ladder match.

Cruiserweight Champion Neville vs. Jack Gallagher: Neville controlled early, trying to grapple with Gallagher, which didn’t work. Gallagher worked for some pin attempts, laid in uppercuts, they picked up the pace and Neville hit a snap German suplex. Post break, Neville was still in control and working kicks on Gallagher. They collided and did a double down spot, Gallagher headed up top with William III and did the Mary Poppins dive onto Neville. Back in and Neville pulled Gallagher to the corner, hit a superkick. Up top now, Neville hit the superplex, and rolled into the rings of Saturn for the win. Cruiserweight Champion Neville defeated Jack Gallagher @ 7:40 via submission [**½] Not bad at all, I like both guys, but the second half was way better than the early portion. I loved that Neville answered back with his submission after Aries used a submission earlier in the night.

– We get an Austin Aries special report, Aries talks with New Day, who made Aries shake his hip and they picked him to win. They all danced. Neville was extremely pissed at all of this.

– Saw this on Twitter and thought it was cool enough to share…

ROMAN REIGNS HAS A MESSAGE FOR THE UNDERTAKER: Reigns reminds us he won the Rumble previously in Philly and then headlined Mania twice. He thought that was big, but this year he faces taker at Mania and he will put the dead man down. “with all due respect, I do not care who you are (Cena, Taker, Lesnar)” this is my house now and this is my yard now. DONG… Taker cuts a promo from the graveyard, noting that the ring is his yard, but this graveyard will be Reigns’ yard. Taker carved out a special place in hell for Reigns, at Mania, the Roman Empire will fall, and the ultimate thrill ride will be Reigns’ last ride. Taker advises Reigns to live every day as if it is his last, “because at WrestleMania, you will”… DONG DONG DONG… Taker appears in the ring… “rest in peace.” Taker then summons the power of thunder and lighting and the segment ends as Reigns looks on all like, “you ain’t Thor bitch” and generally not being shook worked was also really good. I think that this was good, not great, but what it needed to be. They did the physical part of the build last week, and the fans like & expect some supernatural shenanigans from Taker; this fit the bill without going over the top. I also really liked the tone of Reigns’ verbiage, hitting the edge harder than usual, and it came off very well.

– Fair play to Taker, he arrived an hour earlier than I thought he would.

– Enzo & Cass did their shtick, Cass smocked Allen Iverson to play to the Philly crowd. Before Champions Anderson & Gallows vs. Enzo & Cass can start, Sheamus and Cesaro attacked the champions with a ladder and then they all brawled. Yup, one week out and they are trying hard to make people care by seemingly changing the tag title match into a ladder match. Shamus got busted open in the fray. Anderson & Gallows about killed Enzo with a ladder shot, sending him to the floor, and Corey Graves giggled with glee. I guess I would care more if the match hadn’t been so tossed together over the recent weeks to turn it into a triple threat.

– Kevin Owens is interviewed, Jericho was a guy he looked up to, but Jericho fans are morons. He can’t wait to be the guy that cause Zayn to lose his job, and take his career away. In six-days, he will take Jericho’s US Title, but will also turn the event into Jericho’s ultimate demise.

– We get a video package for the Rollins vs. Triple H feud. It was a really great video package.

– We then got the big run down of the Mania card.

No DQ Match: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn: If Sami wins. he’s in the Andre Battle Royal; if h loses, he’s fired and Stephanie gets permanent custody of his balls. Owens attacked right away, they brawled to the floor and that allowed Sami to battle back and slam Owens to the boards. They brawled up to the stage and commentary table, Sami then hit a big dive off of the stage and to a commercial we shall go. That was a fun opening stretch. Post break, they brawled at ringside with Owens hitting a DDT n the steps to take control back. Great intensity by Owens as he pulled Sami back in the ring and started to run wild, that was until Sami hit the XPLODER to the buckles (Owens dumped on his dome). Owens would cut off the helluva with a superkick for a near fall. Owens then hit the frog slash for another near fall. Sami countered the pop up powerbomb and then hit the blue thunder bomb for a near fall. Samoa Joe then ran down, grabbed a chair and Jericho’s music hit and he attacked Joe from behind. This led to the Owens distraction and Sami rolling him up for the win. Sami Zayn defeated Kevin Owens @ 11:10 via pin [***½] This was a very good match (easily the best on the show), as you would expect, from these two. The finish was predictable (which is not bad), but it also worked and got a good reaction.

– Post match, Jericho put Owens on the NEW LIST.

– Tozawa faces Kendrick on 205 live tomorrow.

BROCK & GOLDBERG GO FACE TO FACE: Heyman got ECW chants and did his introduction of Lesnar. Heyman went into the hard sell as we got Goldberg & Suplex City chants. Lesnar wants and needs the title, Lesnar lusts after the title and Goldberg has it. Sting tried to pull off what Goldberg accomplished, but failed. Goldberg is the man… but Lesnar is the BEAST and he will chew Goldberg up and spit him out like no one ever has. Bad things happen to superheroes that step into the ring with Lesnar. Heyman promises that Goldberg will go to suplex city and not check out. Heyman is all fired up here, promising the death of a superhero, noting that Lesnar does not fear the spear because Goldberg can’t survive the F5. Goldberg makes his way out and said people want them to fight and not talk. He wants to bring Mania to Philly and they brawl on the floor, with Goldberg spearing Lesnar. Goldberg poses in the ring to close the show. Goldberg stands tall one last time to plant some doubt in the outcome, and Heyman was great at selling the match. If I had to guess, Sunday’s match goes something like this; Goldberg hits the spear and jackhammer, but Lesnar kicks out. He then takes Goldberg to suplex city, hits the F5 and finally overcomes Goldberg and wins the title.

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“Mama says these my magic shoes. Mama said they would take me anywhere…”

6.5
The final score: review Average
The 411
The first hour was solid, the second hour not so much, but I thought that the third hour was good. Overall tonight’s effort was an average go home show, with some good segments that are worth your time, but far from the homerun I had hoped for heading into the big show. What you need to see: The opening women’s stuff, the Triple H/Rollins segment, the Reigns/Taker segment, Owens vs. Zayn, the final segment.
legend

article topics :

RAW, Tremendous Tirades, WWE, Larry Csonka