Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 5.08.17

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 5.08.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Finn Balor defeated The Miz @ 11:45 via pin [**½]
– Non-Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 9:05 via pin [**]
– Braun Strowman defeated Kalisto @ 1:00 via DQ [NR]
– #1 Contender’s Tag Team Turmoil Match: Sheamus & Cesaro defeated Enzo & Cass, Heath Slater & Rhyno, Gallows & Anderson and The Golden Truth @ 27:45 via pin [***¼]
– Seth Rollins defeated Samoa Joe @ 15:11 via DQ [**¾]
– TJP defeated Jack Gallagher @ 3:08 via pin [**]
– Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox @ 2:55 via pin [NR]
– Non-Title Match: Bray Wyatt defeated Ambrose @ 13:30 via pin [**½]

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– You can check out my latest column here.

– In a shocking turn of events, there is no phone booth, no mini-car or double-decker bus on the stage.

Kurt Angle Isn’t Here: Dean Ambrose walked an got a call from Kurt Angle; Angle won’t be here tonight. Dean also sent Angle some inappropriate pictures, which Mrs. Angle opened. Ambrose reveals that Angle won’t be here tonight, but Ambrose is now in charge of the show tonight as the acting GM. The Miz interrupted, and doesn’t approve of Ambrose running the show. Ambrose promises he has a plan for the show, but Miz claims Stephanie called him, and says that she named Mia the co-GM. We’re taking a lot of people at their word here with no real evidence, voice mails or paperwork. Ambrose reluctantly agrees, but promises to put a beat down on Miz at Extreme Rules. BRAUN then arrives, sporting a sling due to his elbow injury. BRAUN doesn’t give a FUCK who’s in charge, but as long as Reigns can walk, he’s not done with him. BRAUN says he will end Reigns when he’s healed up, and then, he wants Lesnar. Kalisto then decides he’d like to die in London, and makes his way out to challenge BRAUN, reminding us that he beat him in the dumpster match. Kalisto demands match with BRAUN, and BRAUN says he could beat him with one arm so Ambrose makes the match. Ambrose then booked Miz vs. Finn Balor. This was the typical Raw opening segment, it was largely fine, but was just a segment that existed to fill 15-minutes and tease that we’re going to get shenanigans between Miz & Ambrose all night.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz: Miz tried to stall early, but when that failed he took a shortcut, cheap shotting Balor. Balor quickly fought back, sending Miz to the floor. Balor followed, hitting the shotgun dropkick on the floor. Post break, Miz took the heat after a distraction by Maryse. Miz worked a solid heat, but Balor hit the PELE and started to put some offense together, firing up with chops and a running dropkick to send Miz to the floor. Balor then hit a PK off of the apron, rolled him back in and Miz begged off. Maryse took the ref and them Miz slammed Balor into the ref and then Miz DQ’d Balor. BUT WAIT, Ambrose is here and orders the match to continue with Maryse banned from ringside. Balor attacked Miz, took him back to the ring, hit sling blade and the double stomp for the win. Finn Balor defeated The Miz @ 11:45 via pin [**½] This was a perfectly fine outing, but they got too cute and I felt it took away from the match. I expect Miz to screw with Ambrose later in the night to get revenge.

– Nia Jax meets with Alexa Bliss, and wants to know if Bliss meant what she said when she called her great. Jax says when Bliss is done with Bayley, she wants the next title shot. Bliss says she’d love to, but Kurt Angle makes the matches. Bliss says she’ll put in a good word for her, and Jax says Bliss now has a new friend. Alexa didn’t hate that.

– Tomorrow on Smackdown, Ziggler confronts Nakamura.

Non-Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James: Jax is out with Bliss, while Bayley is out with James. The crowd is singing for Bayley as the match begins. Bliss attacks, but it just pisses James off. Bliss ties to hide behind the ref, but James catches her and hits a neck breaker for 2. Bliss tries to bail, but James follows her to the floor and attacks. Post break, Bliss took control, scoring a near fall; Bliss then worked the arm in the ropes. James cuts her off with a back elbow and RANA. Bliss goes back to the arm, maintaining control and covering for 2. Bliss then misses a knee drop, James follows with a lariat, knee strike and spin kick. The clothesline follows for 2. James looks for the DDT, but Bliss counters, but walks into a flapjack. James to the ropes, Jax distracts her and Bayley then takes out Jax. Bliss slams James off the ropes and steals the win. Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 9:05 via pin [**] It was really flat, with a disinterested crowd and solid but bland in ring work. It worked to advance Bayley vs. Bliss.

– Post match, Bayley chases Bliss to the back as Jax lays out James.

– Backstage, Miz rants to Ambrose. Ambrose has been working on laying out the show, and tells Miz he can go home. Ambrose also cancelled Miz TV. Miz books Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt for tonight.

– Charly interviews Samoa Joe. Joe runs down Rollins, and says Rollins lives his life on his terms and it is only over when Joe says it is over. Rollins then attacks, hitting Joe with a ladder, refs try to break them up as agents arrive. That was a great fiery promo from Joe there.

Braun Strowman vs. Kalisto: BRAUN is out in his sling. BRAUN then takes the mic, telling Ambrose to shove it and that he won’t accept this match due to injury. He also runs down Reigns. The bell rings and BRAUN just lays the boots to Kalisto, but Reigns is here and makes his way to the ring. Reigns is all taped up still and the crowd is not happy to see him. Reigns attacks the arm of BRAUN, hits some Superman punches and BRAUN rolls to the floor. Reigns follows and charges, but runs into a big boot by BRAUN. BRAUN then posts himself on the bad arm, STOP RUNNING AT THINGS BRAUN. Reigns then works over the injured arm on the post, he grabs a chair and lays in shots to the injured arm as BRAUN scampers away. Braun Strowman defeated Kalisto @ 1:00 via DQ [NR] This was a good angle to write out BRAUN for his surgery and to allow Reigns some revenge after the Payback loss. Imagine the destruction when BRAUN returns, these two may kill each other.

– Enzo & Cass do their shtick.

#1 Contender’s Tag Team Turmoil Match: Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Enzo & Cass vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. Gallows & Anderson vs. The Golden Truth: This is gauntlet rules, with the last team standing being the winners. Enzo & Cass vs. Sheamus & Cesaro start things off. Sheamus and Cass brawled back and forth to begin; Cass took control with a corner splash and slam, the Empire elbow followed; the Hardys watched on from the back. Enzo and Cass used some double teams, with Enzo hitting a high cross for 2. Sheamus then hit a back breaker to cut Enzo off. Post break, Cesaro kicked the shit out of Enzo like he owed him money. Enzo eventually avoided him, and Cesaro posted himself. Enzo hit an enziguri but Sheamus cuts off the tag by posting Cass. Cesaro hit the uppercut and locked in the sharp shooter and he tapped. I liked that, because the sharp shooter can now be a good false finish. Slater & Rhyno are out next, but & Cesaro attacked as they made their entrance, isolating Rhyno. Slater tried to fight back, but got beat down and tossed back into the ring. Cesaro worked over Slater, he tried to fight back but Sheamus cut him off and then made sure to keep Rhyno on the floor. Slater slammed Sheamus into Cesaro, but it did no good as Sheamus finished him with the brogue kick. Anderson & Gallows are out now. Post break, Cesaro worked over Anderson until he missed a charge and ate a kick. Anderson and Gallows then took control, working double teams and taking the heat on Cesaro. Cesaro would fight back, hitting a delayed suplex on Gallows and then tagging in Sheamus. Sheamus then ran wild, but when he went up top he jumped into a superkick by Gallows. It broke down, leading to all four men being down. Sheamus fights back, hitting white noise on Gallows for a near fall and commercial break. Post break, Anderson and Gallows worked double teams and picked up the near fall on Sheamus. Cesaro save Sheamus from the magic killer, allowing Sheamus to hit the brogue kick on Gallows to eliminate them. The Golden Truth are the final team. They hit the ring like a house of fire, sending Cesaro to the floor and working double teams on Sheamus. Goldust ran wild on Sheamus for a bit, hitting the snap slam for a near fall. Cesaro is back, tags in and slams Goldust knee first onto the barricade. Back in and they work the leg of Goldust. Cesaro then locks in the sharp shooter again but Truth makes the save. Goldust makes the tag, Truth runs wild off of a good hot tag and even picks up a near fall. Truth eventually misses a corner splash and Cesaro cradles him for the pin with the tights. Sheamus & Cesaro defeated Enzo & Cass, Heath Slater & Rhyno, Gallows & Anderson and The Golden Truth @ 27:45 via pin [***¼] This was a good match, with some really fun segments, but Sheamus & Cesaro running the table as they did really puts them over a strong title contenders so mission accomplished. It was also nice to see that they didn’t rush through this.

– Sheamus & Cesaro beat down the Golden Truth post match, but The Hardys then arrive and clear the ring of their challengers.

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe: They brawled right away, Joe took the early control but Rollins cut him off with a flatliner in the corner and they then brawled to the floor. Joe would cut of the attack of Rollins, but when they returned to the ring, Rollins hit sling blade for the near fall. Joe then got pissed, he then ran over Rollins with an elbow and then laid in the strikes. They then traded strikes, Joe hit the suplex and that got 2. Rollins fought back, hitting the blockbuster and then Joe attacks the knee with a leg sweep. Post break, Joe is still working over the knee of Rollins and controlling with ease. Joe gets cocky, daring Rollins to attack, and continuing his beat down. Rollins breaks the choke with a jawbreaker, sends Joe to the floor and hits a pair of suicide dives. Back in and Rollins covers for 2. Joe then lays in chops and hits the snap slam for the near fall. Joe looks for a powerbomb, but Rollins escaped and hit the falcon arrow (HE DID THE DEAL) for the near fall. Joe again looked for the choke, but Rollins again escaped, hitting an enziguri. Rollins pulled off the buckle pad, hits a superkick and covers for 2. Rollins looks for the ripcord knee strike, but Joe sends Rollins to the exposed buckle. Joe then slams Rollins to the exposed buckle once again, and that’s a DQ. Post match, Joe locked in the clutch and then stood tall. Seth Rollins defeated Samoa Joe @ 15:11 via DQ [**¾] Pretty good match overall, likely setting them up for a stipulation match at Extreme Rules. It was missing something to really make me care about what they are doing, the work is solid, but these two aren’t clicking in the ring as I had hope. My only real complaint is that if you’re going to do the DQ finish, don’t go 15-minutes and then do it; shave a bit off, amp up the aggression and do it earlier. This feud must continue.

– Miz gets his IC Title shot next week.

– Neville joins commentary; earlier today, he told TJP that he needed to beat Gallagher tonight in order to get a championship opportunity.

TJP vs. Jack Gallagher: Neville is particularly surly on commentary tonight. TJP dabs in Gallagher’s face, so Gallagher hits the head butt for a near fall. TJP then tries to run, but Gallagher catches him and works him over with uppercuts TJP cuts him off by slamming him to the steps, and then back in, TJP hit the slingshot senton for 2. TJP then grounds Gallagher, working the butterfly lock. Gallagher escapes, hitting uppercuts, dropkicks and suplexes. Gallagher escapes the detonation kick, but TJP rolls him up and grabs the tights for the win. TJP defeated Jack Gallagher @ 3:08 via pin [**] They didn’t have much time here, but they made the most out of it; Gallagher has become a guy I always look forward to watching. The post match attack hopefully will translate to some good heat on TJP, especially on tomorrow’s 205 live.

– TJP beats down Gallagher post match, working the knee; Aries makes the save, wearing a knee brace from last week’s attack, and runs off TJP.

Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox: This is fallout from last week’s women’s tag match. Fox slaps Banks and they go crazy fists early. Fox hits the northern lights suplex for 2. Fox looked to ground Banks, but she fought back, hitting the head scissors. Double knees by Banks, but Fox fights off the Banks statement. Fox sets her up top, but Banks shoves her off and hits meteora, Fox slips out but the ref counts three anyway, because they are supposed to “call it like a shoot.” Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox @ 2:55 via pin [NR] They tried to work a fast paced match, but it was very disjointed with the sloppy finish.

Non-Title Match: IC Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt: Miz is out on commentary. They locked up, Bray overpowered him early but Ambrose followed up with chops. Bray then choked him out in the ropes, but Ambrose low bridges him to the floor and follows with the suicide dive. Back in and Ambrose teases dirty deeds, but Bray drops to the floor and suplexes Ambrose through the ropes and to the floor. Back in and Bray covers for 2. Post break, Bray works the heat, beating down Ambrose and covering for 2. Ambrose looks to fire up but Bray hits a DDT for 2. Ambrose hits a jawbreaker, but runs into a lariat and Bray covers for 2. Bray to the second rope and misses the senton. Both men are down. Ambrose then fires up with clotheslines, hits the corner forearm and then heads up top but Bray rolls to the floor, but Ambrose hits the elbow drop press to the floor. They did a double down as Miz heads to the ring with Maryse. This distracts Ambrose, but he escapes sister Abigail; Bray hits the uranage for 2. Bray takes Ambrose up top, Ambrose fights him off and delivers head butts, sending Bray to the mat. Ambrose jumps into a right hand, but hits the jawbreaker lariat on the rebound. Miz distracts Ambrose, but Ambrose wipes him out with a suicide dive. Bray to the floor, they brawl and then return to the ring; Miz hits Ambrose with the IC Title and that allows Bray to roll him in and cover for 2. Sister Abigail finishes it. Bray Wyatt defeated Ambrose @ 13:30 via pin [**½] I don’t think this was a bad match, but it was just sort of there; I kept waiting for them to do something to really pull me in and make me care, but it never happened.

– Post match, Miz beats down Ambrose, and proclaims he will win the title next week.

“Mama says these my magic shoes. Mama said they would take me anywhere…”

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

Raw wasn’t a bad show this week as much as it was an overall bland effort. They did some solid follow up on last week and also built to future matches, but I can’t say much of it excited me. What you need to see: The tag team turmoil and the BRAUN & Reigns segment.