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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 6.12.17

June 12, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
Brock Lesnar on RAW Royal Rumble Image Credit: WWE
3.5
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 6.12.17  

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 6.12.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Elias Samson defeated Dean Ambrose @ 11:55 via pin [**]
– Cedric Alexander defeated Noam Dar @ 0:10 via pin [NR]
– Apollo Crews defeated Kalisto @ 2:25 via pin [NR]
– Sasha Banks, Dana Brooke, & Mickie James defeated Alexa Bliss, Emma, & Nia Jax @ 3:40 via pin []
– Heath Slater & Rhyno defeated The Miz & The Bear From Last Week @ 6:30 via pin [DUD]
Non-Title Match: Cruiserweight Champion Neville vs. Rich Swann never started [NR]
– Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson defeated Enzo Amore & Big Cass @ 2:28 via pin [NR]
WWE Raw Tag Team Title Two Out of Three Falls Match: Champions Cesaro & Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boys ended in a draw (1-1) with a double countout @ 14:30 [***]


BROCK TALK: Heyman introduces himself and says he’s here to unleash the beast. It’s Samoa Joe’s day of reckoning. Heyman breaks down last week’s interaction with Joe, claiming that he showed Joe respect, but Joe lured him in and took him out. And due to that, Brock has a problem with Joe. Heyman admits that he was fooled, he thought Joe could step up to Brock and give him a fight, someone who could go man to beast. Heyman asks how many Samoans have been in the business, and then claims that the other Samoans want nothing to do with Joe, because he’s not a real Samoan, he’s a mutt. Heyman says the clutch was everything Joe said it would be. But he will never get the clutch on Brock, because he is not man enough to do so. Joe is here, and he’s walking with a purpose. He and Brock go face to face, and Joe attacks and they brawl. Angle sends out security to break it up, Brock takes out some guards and then Joe attacks with a head butt to the face (shades of the famous Angle face off in TNA). Angle sends out all of the goofs from the back to try and break it up, but Joe breaks free and kicks Brock straight in the face (Brock was not happy) and the brawl spills to the floor. They are finally separated and the segment ends. Great segment, Heyman set it up well with the promo as always, and they had a great & heated pull apart. So far they are doing everything right, I hop that they have a great match.

THE DRIFTER IS HERE TO GIFT US WITH A SONG!

Elias Samson vs. Dean Ambrose: Slow start here, which is fine because it gives Graves an adequate amount of time to bury both guys on commentary. Ambrose sends Samson to the floor for the beak. Post break, Samson worked the heat, keeping Ambrose grounded. They traded chops, Ambrose fired up with clotheslines and a fisherman’s suplex for 2. Ambrose then sends him to the floor, and takes like 150 steps and then hits the suicide dive. Back in and they battle up top. Ambrose with head butts and sends Samson to the mat. Ambrose looks for the elbow drop, but Miz is out and distracts Ambrose. Samson gets a roll up for 2, but Ambrose then hits a lariat to stop that. Ambrose chases Miz on the floor, but Miz uses Maryse as a shield. Ambrose slams Miz to the barricade, almost gets counted out but Samson hits a knee drop and hits the encore for the win. Elias Samson defeated Dean Ambrose @ 11:55 via pin [**] The Drifter picks up a big (but tainted) win, and due to Miz’s involvement, it appears that he and Ambrose will continue feuding, which is honestly a disappointment because I really think that they need to get away from each other. The match was solid, gutted a bit by the commercial and long delay during the interference spot at the end. It never really felt like it got going.

– We get an old school Goldust promo. He runs down Truth, claiming that Truth was afraid and that he got to him before Truth got to him. The Golden age is back.

– Angle is pissed at Miz, and Miz says it was revenge for last week. Miz says Ambrose only got back in because Angle was off dealing with his personal issues. Miz says Ambrose is the issue, and that Angle should suspend or fire him, or suspend and fire him! Angle isn’t going to do shit and tells Miz to deal with Ambrose on his own.

– We get a Cedric Alexander video package. Oh Christ, he’s facing Noam Dar again. Dar was snap chatting with Dar, and she says she wants to see Dar kick his face in tonight. Alexander claims that this will be over tonight, for good, which he said last week.

Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar: Fox yelled at Dar via snap chat during him entrance. Alexander finds this is amusing, the bell rings and Alexander hits the lumbar check and wins. Cedric Alexander defeated Noam Dar @ 0:10 via pin [NR] Thank God, now can we get Cedric into something good?

– Bray Wyatt is up next; I wonder what’s on his mind?

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– We get highlights of Reigns beating Wyatt last week.

– Reigns will announce his plans for Summerslam next week.

– John Cena maybe?

Bray Wyatt Talks: Wyatt talks about the world ending, and he’s the only one that can save it. Wyatt says those that deny him will be judged, and the apathetic will pay for their guilt. Just like Seth Rollins, who thinks he has all of the answers. But it only took one dose of his truth last week, and Rollins’ glass house was shattered. Seth will pay for his transgressions and ignorance. If you take my name in vain, you will fall. Rollins arrives. He wants to clarify things, and says Wyatt cost him his match with Joe because he called him some names. He says Wyatt is a false prophet, and drinks his own Kool-Aid. Wyatt likes to hide in the dark, and is a coward. Rollins is here, daring Wyatt to prove him wrong. Wyatt laughs him off, and says Rollins’ pride will betray him. Rollins thinks he’s the man, but Wyatt sees a man beneath him and says Rollins doesn’t want this fight. Wyatt disappears and leaves Rollins alone in the ring. He then appears on the screen, saying Rollins may have slayed a king, but a God lives forever. “Run.” I wasn’t feeling that at all, it did nothing to make me want to see them have a match.

– Charly interviews the Hardys. They discuss their tag title match tonight, putting over Sheamus and Cesaro. They will prove themselves tonight, and will have their number once again.

FREE AGENT John Cena returns to Smackdown on July 4th…

Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews: Titus is out with Crews. Titus has bought Akira Tozawa a front row seat as he continues to try and recruit him to the Titus brand. Solid back and fort to begin, with Crews cutting off Kalisto and covering for 2. Titus talks at Tozawa, who seems annoyed; Kalisto makes his comeback, hits a RANA and then a spiked RANA, covering for 2. Kalisto lays in kicks, but Crews catches him and hits the powerbomb for the win. Apollo Crews defeated Kalisto @ 2:25 via pin [NR] It was ok, but too short to really be anything of substance. The Titus Brand angle continues. The problem I have is that these angles always come off more about Titus than the others involved, and Titus has very little to offer.

– Post match, Titus tosses Tozawa in the ring and forces him to celebrate and talked a selfie with he and Crews.

– Miz meets with Rhyno and Slater, and offers then to join his entourage. Miz was only talking to Slater, reminding him that he made him a big star in The Marine 5. Slater says he wants to be IC Champion, but Miz wants him to join him, and says if he does, he’ll get a tile shot someday. Rhyno is insulted and eats cheese and crackers.

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Alexa Bliss Talks: Bliss says she should have had a celebration last week, but instead had to defend against Nia Jax. She mentions the women’s MITB match, but Jax is here to interrupt. Jax says Bliss promised her a title shot and backtracks on her comments, and kisses Jax’s ass, and blames Mickie & Dana for ruining it. Mickie and Dana arrive, and Mickie calls Bliss a dwarf and reminds her that she’s a 6-time women’s champion. Mickie then reminds Bliss that she claimed it was unfair that she had to defend against Jax, and Brooke says Bliss claimed that they all had a Nia Jax problem last week. Bliss tries to keep Jax on her side by running down Mickie and Dana; Emma then arrives! Emma says that they can put the spotlight on her, because she is back. She’s ready to take her place at the top and Bliss laughs her off. Bliss tells Nia that they are trying to ruin their time, so of course Sasha Banks arrives. Banks says Bliss has a ring full of challengers, but all Bliss wants to do it talk. Banks attacks, and they all brawl and go to commercial. So they took the revolving door segment, moved it to the middle of the show and put the women in it so that they could have a chance to not really say anything and mimic the booking of the Smackdown women where everyone is involved instead of focusing on some individual feuds. But of course, that would mean giving them more segments and time to get those feuds over. This is typical WWE booking of the women, “bitches be crazy,” throw them all together.

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Sasha Banks, Dana Brooke, & Mickie James vs. Alexa Bliss, Emma, & Nia Jax: JIP as Bliss works over Brooke. The heels work quick tags, isolating and keeping the heat on Brooke. Emma cuts off the tag, knocks Mickie to the floor but Brooke gets the tag to Banks. Banks slams Emma into Jax, but Bliss gives Emma the old alligator arms and walks. Jax saves Emma, James in and low bridges Jax to the floor. James hits a Thesz press to the floor, wiping out Jax. Banks locks in the banks statement and taps Emma. Sasha Banks, Dana Brooke, & Mickie James defeated Alexa Bliss, Emma, & Nia Jax @ 3:40 via pin [*½] There wasn’t much to this, and what was there wasn’t exactly smooth. Also, this was a HORRIBKE way to bring Emma back and immediately slot her as a loser. Even with Bliss walking out, Emma comes off as a complete loser here.

– We get a Finn Balor video package.

– Corey Graves interviewed Bayley earlier today. They discuss her loss to Bliss at Extreme Rules. Corey asks what happened, and Bayley says she’s not here to hurt people, which is what the match was designed for, she’s here to put smiles on people’s faces. She didn’t get here being someone she isn’t, she’s 100% Bayley. She won’t change who she is to become a goddess or a queen, she’ll be Bayley. She has always wanted to be the best, and just because she lost to Bliss, nothing has changed. She wants to win her title back, and wants to walk back into WM as the champion and wants to give the dreamers something to believe in. Bayley and Graves share an awkward hug to end things. Bayley certainly does better in pre-tapes, and while the message is sweet and fits her, the “here to put smiles on people’s faces” is such a Vince line. This did nothing for my interest in the character, and I don’t feel it did much to rehab Bayley.

Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. The Miz & The Bear From Last Week: Miz thinks The Bear is Ambrose, Corey makes bear jokes, including nods to Yogi & Smokey. Miz offers Slater a handshake and wants him to attack The Bear. Slater opts to work over Miz, and then he and Rhyno work quick tags, and keep control on the Miz; props to The Bear for holding the tag rope. The Bear finally tags in, slaps Slater around and uses a bear hug, but Rhyno makes the save and tags Miz in. Miz attacks The Bear on the floor, slams him to the barricade and then the apron. Miz unmasks The Bear, but it’s not Ambrose. Back in and The Bear is back in, hits dirty deeds on Slater and Miz stares The Bear down and he now unmasks to be Ambrose. Miz runs into Maryse and sends her to the floor. She’s pissed, Ambrose hits Miz with dirty deeds, and pulls Slater onto Miz and he wins. Heath Slater & Rhyno defeated The Miz & The Bear From Last Week @ 6:30 via pin [DUD] I am sure people loved this, I was not one of them. Nice to see that Ambrose is so upset about losing his title that he’s back to his comedy routines. They better not be breaking up Miz & Maryse.

– We get highlights of The Hardy s returning at WM.

Cruiserweight Champion Neville vs. Rich Swann: Neville attacked Swann before the bell and beat the shit out of him; he then applied the rings of Saturn and used Swann’s jacket to choke him out while doing so. Neville grabs his title belt and says that he took out Aries, TJP and Swann and then kicked Swann to the floor. He asks how many more pretenders he has to go through until he gets the respect he deserves. He’s heard of Akira Tozawa, and tells him to tread carefully unless you want Neville to force him to bend the knee and make him bow before his king. Neville was great there, I just wish that they could have used someone other than Swann for the sacrificial lamb.

– Sheamus and Cesaro comment on tonight’s tag title match. They will inspire the Hardys to retire tonight.

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass: Cass was laid out last week, and that led to Big Show teaming with Enzo, and they beat Gallows and Anderson. Cass has been laid out again this week, but Cass still wants to team with Enzo and fight tonight. He got hit in the head, shouldn’t he take an impact test? Gallows and Anderson make jokes about it in the ring, saying that Cass didn’t have to beat himself up over fighting them this week. Cass gets in some shots on Anderson early, but is staggering around after the attack. Cass hits a side slam, hits the elbow but stumbles around some more. Enzo tags in, lays in rights and a knee lift. Anderson cuts him off with the running boot, Cass is down on the floor, and Enzo tries to fight back but jumps into a superkick; the magic killer finishes it. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson defeated Enzo Amore & Big Cass @ 2:28 via pin [NR] I like that they are continuing the Cass & Enzo angle and included Show to play off of last week. Thankfully Gallows and Anderson were able to overcome the odds and beat a loud mouthed midget and his big concussed friend.

– Post match, Big Show arrives to make the save for Enzo. He checks on his new little buddy as Cass gets back in the ring. Cass does not approve of friend stealing Big Show.

– We get an R-Truth parody video to answer back at Goldust. I have enjoyed these.

– Enzo thanks Show for saving his ass… but then has the balls to ask Show if he was the one that took out Cass. Big Show is offended by this, and calls Cass SAWFT.

– Joe is interviewed about his confrontation with Lesnar; he basically says he sent a message and that Lesnar ain’t shit. Joe was really great here, the dude still cuts a hell of a fiery, bad ass promo.

WWE Raw Tag Team Title Two Out of Three Falls Match: Champions Cesaro & Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boys: Sheamus misses a Brogue kick at the bell, the Hardys work double teams and Cesaro makes the save and then gets tossed to the floor. Cesaro pulls Matt to the floor, Sheamus kicks Jeff as he goes for a float over and that gets the champions the first fall. Post break, Sheamus works the heat on Jeff, hitting a back breaker for 2. Jeff fights off the cloverleaf, sending Sheamus to the floor. Jeff hits the mule kick, and that allows Matt & Cesaro to tag in. Matt runs wild on Cesaro, slamming him repeatedly to the buckles. Matt hits the tornado DDT, covering for 2. Matt heads to the apron, side effect on Sheamus and back in and the twist of fate gets the pin on Cesaro. We’re all tied up. Cesaro fights off a twist of fate and lays out Matt with an uppercut. Sheamus tags in, hits a high knee to Matt, covering for 2. Sheamus & Cesaro work double teams, but Jeff makes the save. Matt fights of the neutralizer, but locks in the sharp shooter. Matt gets a small package for 2, hits a clothesline and tags in Jeff. He works over Sheamus, twist of fate but Cesaro makes the save. Matt dumps Cesaro and they brawl on the floor. Cesaro uppercuts Jeff, allowing Sheamus to cradle him for 2. Cesaro takes out Matt on the floor. Jeff battles back, hits the swanton on Sheamus but Cesaro pulls Sheamus to the floor. Jeff wipes out Cesaro on the floor, they all brawl on the floor and we get a double countout. Champions Cesaro & Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boys ended in a draw (1-1) with a double countout @ 14:30 [***] Good match overall, with an unsatisfying finish to continue the feud.

– They brawl post match, with Jeff hitting a high cross off the post to wipe out the champions.

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~GLORIOUS~

3.5
The final score: review Bad
The 411
Raw was not a good show tonight; it had a great opening, and a good main event, but the 2.5 hours in the middle were really bad. If Raw was a hamburger, it would have a fine artisan roll, filled with a double shit burger with extra special shit sauce. What You Need To See: The opening segment with Joe & Brock, The main event.
legend

article topics :

RAW, Tremendous Tirades, WWE, Larry Csonka