wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 7.04.16
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MONDAY NIGHT RAW 7.04.16
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– US Title Match: Champion Rusev defeated Titus O’Neil @ 5:40 via submission [**½]
– Enzo and Cass defeated The Social Outcasts @ 2:05 via pin [NR]
– Non-Title Champion vs. Champion Match: WWE Champion Dean Ambrose vs. IC Champion The Miz @ 9:35 via pin [**]
– Seth Rollins defeated Dolph Ziggler @ 11:21 via pin [***]
– The Golden Truth defeated The Vaudevillains @ 1:23 via pin [NR]
– Becky Lynch defeated Summer Rae @ 2:58 via pin [NR]
– USA vs. The World Elimination Tag: Team USA defeated The Multi-National Alliance Elimination @ 22:23 via pin (Show and Ryder survived) [**½]
– The show opens with everyone in the special holiday themed catering, which led to a largely stupid food fight. There were a couple of funny moments (Owens, Crews and Cesaro arm wrestling the entire time), but largely a waste on many levels. I tend to think they are always a waste of time, but I am not their target demo. This took around 6-minutes.
– Lilian then sang the national anthem.
US Title Match: Champion Rusev w/Lana vs. Titus O’Neil: O’Neil came to the ring, wearing a poor man’s Apollo Creed outfit. We were JIP (because we only have three hours and twenty minutes to work with) as we got back and forth HOSS clubbering and tossing each other around. They spilled to the floor, where Rusev took control and they worked a countout tease on O’Neil. Rusev worked a short heat, O’Neil fought back and came back with rights and shoulder blocks; the clash of the Titus then got a near fall. O’Neil kept trying to attack; the ref backed him off, which allowed Rusev to land a cheap shot. Rusev then locked in the accolade, O’Neil fought, but tapped. Happy Birthday America, I hope you like failure. It was finer, maybe a little better than their previous outings, but that isn’t saying much. Thankfully they didn’t pull the title change; there was absolutely no reason to do so if they are serious about rebuilding Rusev, who is the priority. And now that he has failed his family and country, back to Main Event and Superstars for Titus O’Neil. He and Jack Swagger can share stories of Rusev kicking their asses.
Enzo and Cass vs. The Social Outcasts (Dallas and Axel) w/Slater: The Outcasts were wearing “Minutemen” outfits, Slater was selling his food fight injuries while playing a flute and Axel was playing a drum. Maybe Slater can teach Ambrose to sell. Enzo and Cass cut them off right away, ran them down as expected, and then Enzo rattled off all of the presidents. Mr. Bob Backlund must be proud. The Outcasts wrestled in their costumes, working over Enzo for about a minute Cass got the hot tag, cleaned house and then they finished Dallas with the rocket launcher. Holiday humor aside, Enzo and Cass winning keeps their momentum going, which is good. Also, if you’ve missed the very obvious memo, Vince LOVES Cass.
– It’s a rough night for America so far; the family BBQ turned into a family feud, the Russian humbled the American, and the overly stereotypical Italians took out the Minutemen. We need to rally.
Charlotte Talks: Charlotte and Dana Brooke are in the ring, Charlotte immediately went into her screeching too loud off the bat voice. She claimed that she has done more than anyone, Sasha was jealous and that there was nothing she could do about it. Sasha arrived, apparently they got the memo to all wear black, and then they called each other sweetheart. Sasha claimed that Charlotte had never beat her, and that when they face she will dominate her. They both came off as overly annoying and catty, “Oh no sweetheart, I will do this, OH NO sweetheart!” A lot of the content they had was good (Charlotte wondering where Sasha had been and noting she had not done anything, Sasha claiming that Charlotte was only a play off of her father and never accomplished anything on her own) but the execution was poor. We got a really messy brawl, Brooke was tossed and Charlotte looked to have control, but Sasha got the Banks statement; Brooke made the save. This was, in my opinion, poor execution of a good idea. They had the right material, but they did not get it across well. Charlotte needs to turn down the volume, she starts so loud and screechy, and has almost nowhere to go due to that. Also, it comes across as very annoying, not in a heel way, but in a, “my ears may bleed because she started way too loud” sort of way.
Non-Title Match: WWE Champion Dean Ambrose vs. IC Champion The Miz w/Maryse: Cole tried to tell us that this was a “rare champion vs. champion” match, but he must have forgotten that this was the main event on Smackdown last week. Ambrose took control right away, sending Miz to the floor and hitting a suicide dive. Miz then fought back and tossed Ambrose over the barricade and we went to the commercial break. Post break, Miz worked the knee of Ambrose. Ambrose would miss a dropkick, allowing Miz to lock in the figure four. After struggling, Ambrose escaped and sidestepped Miz, sending him to the floor. Miz returned, Ambrose fired up and started to run around, barely paying any attention to selling his knee. There is a difference between a fire up spot and running around for long periods of time. After some counters, Ambrose hit a lariat and sent Miz to the floor. Ambrose hit a suicide dive, and his nonchalant selling of the leg drives me insane, I hate when people work the knee of Ambrose, because this always happens. Ambrose won with the dirty deeds. Another match between these two, and it was disappointing again despite the strong work by the Miz. Ambrose’s lackadaisical approach to selling the leg is pretty bad at this point. Also, the IC Champion just lost clean as a sheet again, which does him no favors. I have no idea why this match was booked on back-to-back shows, outside of the fact that the creative team is beyond lazy at this point.
– Dean Ambrose stays out to do commentary for Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler.
– We will find out Brock Lesnar’s Summerslam opponent on Smackdown.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler: They did some basic back and forth early. Ziggler then went to his amateur grappling game, and got the advantage scoring with several near falls off of cradles. Rollins got aggressive, and after a chase, kicked Ziggler off the turnbuckles and to the floor, which also took us to the commercial break, which is really remarkable timing when you think about it. Rollins had control post break, but when Rollins went high risk, Ziggler ran up the ropes and hit a facebuster. Ziggler then fired up with clotheslines and elbow drops, they then worked some counters and that led to Rollins scoring with a superkick for a near fall. This led to more counters, and Ziggler finally hitting the superkick for 2. After another series of counters near the end, Rollins shook off zigzag and then hit the pedigree for the win. It was a good match, they kept a nice pace and also worked a pleasing formula with all of the counters; but it felt a bit hollow to me because they overly relied on them.
– Rollins ranted about being the best, and also noting that Reigns should not be in the Battleground match and should also be removed from the draft. He did this while standing on the announcer’s table, so Ambrose got up on the other table and that led to Ambrose attacking for the brawl. Ambrose then hit dirty deeds on the Spanish announce table (which was made in Japan, because it didn’t break) to stand tall. Rollins and Ambrose continue to do the heavy lifting while Roman is “on vacation.”
– We get a Wyatt video package from their Manson style compound in the swamps of Florida. They invite the New Day to come and visit them there. New Day come from a land of make believe, where nothing is real, but fear is real.
– They try to make us care about Caron Corbin with a new video package. Shocking that the three month, pre-show filled feud with Ziggler didn’t set the world on fire.
– Vickie Guerrero arrived to make her case to be one of the new COOs when Smackdown goes live. She runs down Johnny Ace, Kane and Teddy Long, noting that Smackdown needs her. Vickie was awesomely screechy and even did an evil cackle. Security then escorted her away. I am shocked that Stephanie did not come out to cut some balls off, but I guess she has the holiday off.
– Big Show gave a big “RAH RAH MURICA” speech to his teammates for tonight’s elimination match. They aren’t friends, but they have to fight for a cause and not give up. Show was watching Patton and some other war films on the Netflix gimmick last night.
– That whole stretch of short talking segments and videos felt like a long vamp session I once was part of during a production of Annie back in 94.
– Post break, security was escorting Vickie out of the building, She saw Ziggler and begged him to help, but he did the whole “I have never seen her before in my live” deal.
– FaBreeze are sitting in the VIP area at ringside.
The Golden Truth vs. The Vaudevillains: After an approximate 10-second heat on Truth, Goldust got the hot tag and ran wild. The Vaudevillains tried to fight back, but the Golden Truth hit their new double team finish (powerbomb/side effect combo) for the win. Well, the good news is that Golden Truth has got some momentum. The bad news is that the Vaudevillains has already been slotted as fodder for the division (at least until the split). FaBreeze did not seem impressed with Golden Truth, and this feud will continue.
– We get another Darren Young and Bob Backlund video. Yes, another. Backlund is allowing Darren to use the cross face chicken wing.
John Cena Has Words For The Club: After Cena basically made fun of the crowd for not being excited, he then recapped the feud with Styles. He said that he knows he has to fight the whole Club, and called them out. Styles called Cena pathetic just because he suffered a personal set back. They are upset because their return to Japan was almost ruined, because they saw Cena’s face everywhere. But they proved that they ran Tokyo, and will soon run the WWE. He then accuses Cena and the higher ups for trying to bury him, but the Club is his insurance policy. Styles also said Cena had no friends to help him, because Cena put himself on an island that no one can relate to. Styles then said that they were the only ones with the balls to get rid of Cena. They will beta up Cena every week, because it is fun. The Club then joked about dressing up and beating up Cena on all of the holidays. They then planned to beat up Cena for America’s birthday and headed to the ring. The attack started and they beat down Cena and looked to be having a great time. Enzo and Cass then finally arrived to even the odds. All six brawled, and the Club was cleared out. Cena celebrated with his new friends, likely setting up a match for Smackdown or next week’s Raw, or both. Overall a good, but unspectacular segment to continue the Cena vs. Styles feud, I did laugh at the “beat up John Cena” theme
– We get a Shining Stars video package.
– Natalya vs. Becky Lynch has been added to Battleground.
Becky Lynch vs. Summer Rae: Natalya watched on from the back as Summer took control right away. Summer hit the big boot, and then grounded Lynch with a chinlock. They then blew a suplex spot as Lynch jumped too early for it and she landed on her head, ouch. Lynch made her comeback from there, hitting the Xploder and getting a near fall. Summer back with a head kick, but Lynch then got the dis-arm-her for the win. The good news is that Lynch got the win, the bad is that it was rough, especially the blown suplex spot.
– Jericho tried to rally team international, they all argued and the heels left. The Lucha Dragons, Cesaro and Zayn promised to stay amigos and win the match.
– Enzo and Cass did some Sonic product placement.
– The Wyatts will allegedly be on Sportscenter this week, as long as no one dies.
NEW… DAY TALKS: Kofi and Big E mock the Wyatts for being inbred hillbillies. Kofi says that they must be friends, because the Wyatts invited them to their compound. Xavier was still acting afraid, and then the Wyatts appeared on the big screen. The Wyatts said that the power of positivity doesn’t exist, and that New Day started this, so they will end it. They will be waiting for them, “find me.” Woods looks even more concerned, and Kofi says that they accept and they will spread positivity everywhere. Woods then yells at them, and says he loves them like family, but the Wyatts are dangerous. Woods says they accepted without thinking, to meet the Wyatts on their turf, where the Wyatts have the advantage. There is danger in front of them, and Bray Wyatt is a threat to them. He doesn’t think that the New Day can survive. I am still not that into the angle, but I do appreciate then trying something new here, where stead of constant fun and games, Woods sees the potential threat to their titles and possibly their health. Woods was really good here, showing that he can do more than comedy.
– The Cub vs. John Cena, Enzo and Cass at Battleground. I like the call, and love that they are holding back on the next Cena vs. Styles match.
USA vs. The Multi-National Alliance Elimination Tag: Bubba, Devon, Crews, Show, Kane, Henry, Swagger and Ryder vs. Del Rio, Zayn, Owens, Sheamus, Jericho, Cesaro, Kalisto and Sin Cara: After some energetic work by Owens and Ryder, we got back and forth with Sin Cara and Bubba eliminated in the first minute and twenty seconds. After the first commercial break, Cesaro eliminated Devon with the sharp shooter at 5:40. Cesaro and Swagger came face to face, did the wee the people salute, and then brawled. Cesaro countered the ankle lock and tagged in Jericho. Swagger got the best of Jericho, until he ran into the code breaker, and Swagger was gone at 7:45. It broke down, bodies spilled to the floor, and we took another commercial break. Post break, Del Rio worked over Crews until Mark Henry got the tag. He looks to be hurting, moving really slow, but catching Kalisto and hitting the WSS for the elimination at 13:10. Owens then hit the pop up powerbomb on Henry (props for getting up for that) for the elimination at 13:30. Owens, ever the dick, yelled at Zayn and then tossed Ryder into him. This led to them brawling, Kane tagged din and then Owens hit Zayn with a chair. Owens got eliminated for the chair shot at 14:45. Kane then used the chair on Owens, for a DQ at 15:15, even though Owens was eliminated, and Owens was eliminated for hitting his own teammate. What ever. Kane chokeslammed Zayn before leaving, Crews hit a standing moonsault and eliminated Zayn at 15:47. A brogue kick to Crews, he is gone at 15:55. Team Multi-National controlled, they didn’t want to tag Cesaro in, so he tagged himself in. They of course argued, so Cesaro delivered an uppercut buffet to his teammates. Ryder then got a roll up on Cesaro to eliminate him at 18:40. Ryder survived a beat down, and made the tag to Show. He ran wild on Del Rio and Jericho, KO punch to Jericho and he is gone at 20:05. Del Rio chop blocks Show, but Show gets the chokeslam and Del Rio is gone at 20:25. Sheamus is the last man left for his team, Ryder and Show left for the US. Sheamus tried to walk, Show pulled him back in and delivered chops. Ryder tagged in after Sheamus dropkicked Show’s knee. Show then shoved Sheamus into the rough Ryder and Ryder gets the final pin. No one really cared, it was a beyond average house show style match and the booking was all over the place and never designed to make people care and did no one any real favors; like this whole show really.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
