wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.15.16
Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.15.16
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Sami Zayn defeated Sheamus @ 10:20 via pin [**½]
– Non-Title Match: Champions New Day defeated The Dudleyz @ 1:38 via pin [NR]
– Nia Jax defeated Rachel Leavy @ 1:02 via pin [NR]
– Big Cass defeated Kevin Owens @ 6:00 via DQ [**]
– The Shining Stars defeated The Prime Time Players @ 2:45 via pin [NR]
– Neville defeated Jinder Mahal @ 2:54 via pin [NR]
– Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson defeated The Golden Truth @ 2:16 via pin [NR]
– Charlotte defeated Alicia Fox @ 1:28 via pin [NR]
– Non-Title Match: Roman Reigns defeated US Champion Rusev @ 25:57 via pin [**½]
– We started with a “last week on Raw” video, with an introduction by Optimus Prime. I enjoy those and have said for a while that they need to use more things like these videos.
– Seth Rollins cut a promo outside of the arena (earlier today). He promised to win the title on Sunday and then called out the demon king. No one showed up so he vowed to find the demon king.
Rusev and Lana Are Pissed: They claimed that there would be no Raw, no matches or anything tonight unless Roman Reigns apologizes for his actions last week. Mick Foley arrived and tried to get them to leave, but Rusev ran him down and said he lied last week when he called him great, noting that Foley sucked as GM. He then said Reigns did nothing to earn a title shot and gets chance after chance. Stephanie then arrived, ran down Rusev and supported Foley’s decision. Rusev teased going to Smackdown, and Reigns then appeared. He said he would apologize to make this better, and said Lana was a mail order bride and that they would have ugly babies. He then challenged Rusev to a match right now; Stephanie tried to stop it but then Foley got involved when Rusev said he wanted to defend Lana’s honor. So we get a non-title match six-days away from Summerslam. Ok, we got the usual promo to open the show; it was not a strong segment as it came off as if they were playing for laughs way too much and then they booked a match that was already booked for Sunday. Hopefully they go with a non-finish and hot angle because they need it.
– Byron Saxton interviewed Sheamus pre-match, he says he is more dominant with Cesaro and proved that he was better (even though he lost twice) and is moving onto Sami Zayn. He called Zayn a cheap knockoff and will plans to kick his head off.
Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn: Cesaro is out on commentary. They brawled before the bell when Zayn tossed his shirt at Sheamus. Zayn controlled for a bit, tried a dive but was caught and slammed to the apron to send us to the commercial break. Post break, Sheamus worked the heat, overpowering Zayn. Zayn sent Sheamus to the floor, but Sheamus cut him off and laid in the 10 beats in the ropes. Zayn again fought back, sent Sheamus to the floor and hit a dive. Sheamus quickly fight back and hit white noise for a near fall. Sheamus tried to beat down Zayn, but Zayn hit a blue thunder bomb. He went for the helluva kick, but ran into the Irish curse Sheamus set for the brogue kick, Cesaro then distracted him and Zayn hit the helluva and picked up the win. This was unfortunately a painfully average match, with no crowd heat or energy and the finish to keep the Sheamus and Cesaro feud going for some reason.
– We get a backstage interview with Jeri-KO. They have each other’s back and are already closer than Enzo and Cass are. They kept calling Tom Phillips by different first names, as Owens said he would win tonight and then they would humiliate them at Summerslam.
– On Smackdown: Cena vs. Del Rio, Miz TV with Ambrose and Ziggler.
– Sheamus and Cesaro argued backstage, and Foley came in to break it up. He then made a best of seven series between them, which starts at Summerslam. It’d be cool if something was on the line, but apparently it’s matches for matches sake after Cesaro has already beaten Sheamus two times in a row.
– Doc and Karl were on the big screen, dressed as doctors and made fun of Big E’s injury with testicle related “humor.”
Non-Title Match: Champions New Day (Kofi and Xavier) vs. The Dudleyz: Sin Cara and Neville defeated The Dudleyz last week, and the Dudleyz teased tension. The Dudleyz worked over Woods early until Devon accidentally hit Bubba. Kofi got the tag, hit a high cross and then trouble in paradise for the win. A win to give New Day momentum heading into Summerslam and also another match to set the eventual fall and break up of the Dudleyz. Again, if we get a serious Bully Ray style run from Bubba, that would be cool.
– Post match, Doc and Karl blew up an egg in a microwave and made more jokes, noting that they need more specimens and had jars with Kofi and Woods’ name on them. Kofi and Woods cut a promo, noting that they have the power of positivity and Doc and Karl do not have the power to take the titles from them. This feud is doing nothing for me, New Day’s stuff is feeling forced and Doc and Karl have been downgraded to goof troop status with these vignettes that I am sure Vince thinks are hilarious.
– Seth Rollins walks backstage looking for the demon king. He asks Neville, and Neville says that Rollins may think he’s ready, but he’s faced the demon and knows Rollins is not ready.
Nia Jax vs. Rachel Leavy: Leavy (Delilah Doom) got a little pre-match promo, trying to be positive prior to her demise. Jax set her on the ropes, faked backing off and then shoved her to the floor, showing more aggression this week. Jax then hit her slam for the finish. Good squash from Jax, no bullshit, just her killing her opponent as they continue to build her up as a monster.
Brock and Paul: Before Paul could get talking, heath Slater decided that he wanted to die and made his way out. Slater said he was the hottest free agent and Heyman laughed him off. He is getting a shot at a Raw contract, and all he has to do is beat Brock tonight. Slater then asked Paul is he could go one on one with Brock. Paul said the joke was over and tried to send him away. Slater felt disrespected and said he needed this, he has kids to support, “my two little girls and all of the other kids that I have.” He doesn’t want to fight Lesnar but he has to do it. Brock actually spoke, saying he can appreciate Slater and respects his toughness. Brock was nice to Slater, and then told him he didn’t give a shit about his kids. Slate can walk out or stand there and keep pissing him off. Slater took option two and took two Germans and an F5 before Brock kicked him to the floor. Paul praised Slater for going face to face with Brock and then ran down Orton and said that this was the summer of Lesnar and the beast was in heat.., wait, did he just say Brock wants to fuck at Summerslam? Anyway, he continued to say that Brock is the draw on Sunday, he is the box office and no matter what Orton has done he cannot stop Brock. I want to give Slater some credit, the guy is doing everything he can to make this work, which is the story of his last few years. The crowd loved the ass kicking portion, but in all honestly while the hype was good, it never felt great. But the inclusion of Slater did help freshen up the Heyman/Lesnar presentation, which has felt stale.
– Enzo and Cass made their way to the ring, doing their usual. The crowd has been rough all night, and while not as hot as usual, they did a good job waking up the crowd.
Big Cass w/Enzo vs. Kevin Owens w/Chris Jericho: Cass had control until Owens stunned him off the ropes and sent him to the floor. Jericho got in a few cheap shots and Owens attacked as we took a commercial break. Post break Owens worked the headlock, Cass fought to his feet and broke it with a side slam. Cass then stopped the cannonball with a big boot for the double down. Cass ran wild when he got to his feet, but Owens pulled the ropes down and sent Cass to the floor. He teased the apron bomb, Cass escaped and Jericho then laid out Enzo. Jericho ran from Cass, leading to Owens and Jericho beating him down and slamming him to the barricade. In the ring Cass tried to fight back and fell to a superkick/code breaker combo as Jeri-KO stood tall. The match itself was ok, not bad, but never felt as if it got going. The good news is that it was a fine segment to add some heat to Sunday’s PPV match.
– Roman Reigns was talking about kicking Rusev’s ass, Rusev attacked and they brawled backstage. PIPES FELL DOWN TO MAKE NOISES because it’s a backstage WWE fight. Rusev got the upper hand before they got separated.
– So after trading wins through nefarious means, Titus and Darren made nice on the pre-show. I think we all know how this will go.
The Prime Time Players w/Bob Backlund vs. The Shining Stars: There was no reaction for these guys, and even less for the Shining Stars. They did some stuff, Titus barked and they worked double teams on one of the Stars. Backlund accidentally distracted Titus, Young got shot into him and sent him to the floor. Titus recovered and hit clash of the Titus on Young, and I am completely shocked. The Stars picked up the win. This was an unnecessary bump in the road for this feud that none cares about. Well two people care, The Shining Stars because the got TV time and got to win. The Shining Stars are a dead act, Titus vs. Young is a dead feud and there was almost negative energy in the arena for this. There are times where you need to look at the guys you have under contract and decide who needs to go. But they opted to get rid of guys that were actually over instead. If you can’t tell, this was a shit segment.
– We get a commercial for the cruiserweights.
Neville vs. Jinder Mahal: They did some back and forth, Neville sent Mahal to the floor and hit a sweet corkscrew moonsault. Mahal begged off, sent Neville to the ropes and then laid him out with a big boot. Mahal controlled for about 30-seconds, Neville fought back with kicks and then hit the red arrow for the win. This was complete filler here, designed to give Neville (likely positioned for a top spot in the cruiserweight division) a win. It’s impressive that Mahal is already slotted right back where he was when he left WWE.
– Stephanie and Mick say that Jon Stewart is going to be at Summerslam. Rollins arrives and says he’s been looking for the demon. He feels he should get the night off since he can’t find the demon. Foley says Rollins should call him out in the ring so see if he appears.
Seth Rollins Calls Out The Demon: Rollins made his way to the ring, claiming that nothing will stop him from winning the title on Sunday because he’s on another level. He is giving the demon one more chance to come to the ring to face him. Also, this “demon king” shit is so completely forced. Also, “demon king” sounds too close to “demon Kane” when spoken quickly. The demon did not appear and Rollins claimed that Balor is afraid of him because he will lose to Rollins. It appears that a fan it the ring, because Rollins stopped and the camera angle got weird, he then recovered and kept mocking the demon as some distorted voices played and the demon entrance started. Rollins talking felt as if it lasted an hour tonight, no conviction to anything he was saying. And then the completely blew it all by giving away the demon entrance on Raw. The worst part of this was the fact that it was poorly produced and shot (thanks Kevin Dunn) and felt like a poor man’s version of the NXT entrances. The NXT entrances felt big time and important, this felt like “just another entrance.” The crowd did eventually get into it, but Balor doing the entrance in Brooklyn at Summerslam, where he was over big last year would have made for something special. But they gave it away here for 20-seconds of “this is awesome chants” and a lackluster back and forth brawl with almost no crowd reaction. There was no real thought put into this, they had one chance to debut Balor’s special entrance on the main roster and gave it away to a dead crowd. I could understand of they were running a hot city like Chicago or Toronto or something like that, I could at least get them playing to the smart crowd to react, but this certainly wasn’t that and they had over 100 –minutes to figure that out before they ran the segment.
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson vs. The Golden Truth: Doc and Karl are wearing the stupid doctor coats to the ring, carrying Big E’s testicle. Seriously…
The doctors are in the house as @LukeGallowsWWE & @KarlAndersonWWE continue to carry @WWEBigE's…sample? #RAW pic.twitter.com/W6WDr3LLqp
— WWE (@WWE) August 16, 2016
They did some back and forth, Goldust got a hot tag and ran wild on both Doc and Karl, even getting a near fall off of the snap slam. They eventually sent Truth to the floor, hit the magic killer and that was that. While they did get the win, Doc and Karl working a 50-50 match with the Pokemon goofs was not the way to book this match. Post match New Day hit the ring and worked over their opponents. They tried to break Anderson’s balls with the trombone, but Gallows saved Anderson. The basis of this tag title feud is testicle related attacks and jokes.
– Dana Brooke apologized to Charlotte for losing last week. Charlotte was upset because Dana failed her, and then reminded her that the spotlight was hers. Charlotte will win the title back on her own, and may even replace Brooke when she wins the title back.
Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox: Sasha Banks is out on commentary. Also, it’s good to see Alicia Fox still has a job. They worked solid back and forth to open the match, Charlotte then pulled Fox off the ropes in the corner and hit natural selection to pick up the victory. Obviously the right finish to give Charlotte momentum heading into the PPV. Charlotte challenged Sasha to come to the ring, she did but then Dana Brooke arrived and they beat down Sasha and worked her knee. Charlotte locked in the figure eight as Dana laid the boots to her. This was an overall simple and good angle to get heat on Charlotte and to soften up Sasha prior to Summerslam. Credit to the ladies here, they delivered the first real segment all show long that had any real heat to it.
– We get a Braun Strowman video package.
Non-Title Match: US Champion Rusev w/Lana vs. Roman Reigns: Reigns hit the ring and they brawled right away. They fought to the floor, Rusev posted Reigns and we took a commercial break. Post break, Rusev was in control and working the arm of Reigns. Reigns eventually fired up and fought back with one arm, but Rusev cut him off and posted him again. Rusev continued to attack the arm on the floor, slamming it to the steps repeatedly. Rusev celebrated with the title, tried to use it but Reigns stopped that only to be slammed to the barricade. This match is feeling very long and lethargic. They worked through another commercial break, and after the break Rusev cut a promo telling the fans to keep cheering him. Rusev continued to dominate, set Reigns up top and they battled but Reigns fought off the superplex try and sent Rusev to the mat. Reigns hit a clothesline off the ropes for a double down. They fought to their feet, repeated clotheslines in the corner and Reigns hit a slam for a near fall. Rusev countered the Superman punch into a spin kick for a near fall. Rusev got another near fall off of a second rope head butt. He hit another and scored another near fall. A third got another near fall. Rusev sold frustration, that makes two of us, that he couldn’t finish Reigns so he hit a fourth and another near fall. He missed the fifth, Reigns fired up with rights and then clotheslines Rusev to the floor. Rusev countered the Superman punch with a kick, back in the ring and Reigns then hit the Superman punch for a near fall. Rusev fought off the spear with kicks, and got another near fall. Rusev went for the accolade, Reigns fought and Rusev hit a superkick and then locked in the accolade. Reigns fought and got the ropes. That really feels as if it should have been saved for Sunday, like the match itself. Reigns then fought back, hit the spear, and won. The final 5minutes were really good, you just had to get through the painfully average first 20-minutes to get there. I have no clue why you would give away a 25-minute match that is booked to take place six-days from now, it screams that you have no idea hoe to fill your show with quality content. I now expect Rusev to retain via some form of fuck finish on Sunday.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia.”