Csonka’s WWE Smackdown Review 9.13.16

Csonka’s WWE Smackdown 9.13.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– The Usos defeated The Hype Bros @ 2:18 via pin [NR]
– Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin Never Started
– #1 Contender’s Match: Alexa Bliss defeated Nikki Bella, Naomi, Carmella and Natalya @ 5:15 via pin [**¾]
– Smackdown Tag Team Title Match: Champions Heath Slater and Rhyno defeated The Ascension @ 2:07 via pin [NR]
– John Cena and Dean Ambrose defeated AJ Styles and The Miz @ 9:50 via pin [**¾]

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– We get highlights from Sunday’s WWE Backlash PPV.

The Face That Runs The Place Is Your New Champion: AJ Styles made his way to the ring, and let us know that the champ is here. If you hadn’t been watching the shows, you’d think he was a face due to the crowd reaction. He’s done everything he said he would do; he beat John Cena to become the face that runs the place, and then he beat Dean Ambrose to win the WWE Title. Styles says if he speaks it, he’s speaking the gospel. “If I tell you the lottery numbers, go buy a ticket, you’re going to be come a millionaire.” He’s the champ that runs the camp. He was amazingly douchey here in the best way possible, and then John Cena made his return. Cena says Styles has something that belongs to him, so Styles gives him his armband back, tossing it in his face. Cena says Styles still has something that belongs to him and he has decided that he wants it back. To be the man you have to beat the man, and if he can hold that title one more time, he is in the conversation with “the man” and wants to make history off of Styles. Cena has one goal left, and that is to announce himself as the 16-time world champion. Of course this brought out Dean Ambrose. Ambrose says Styles made the biggest mistake of his life at Backlash when he stole the title by kicking him in the jewels. Styles has made an enemy, and will make Styles’ life hell because he will bury him in the ground. Cena says Ambrose hung Styles by his crotch and is now complaining? He says Austin was right on the podcast, Ambrose never brought it and is surprised the low blow hurt, because Ambrose has no balls. Ambrose doesn’t care what Cena has to say and has no patience for him and all of his sanctimonious bull crap, because Cena is a lazy part timer. Go do your shows and movies because you can’t keep up any more; you’re a corporate puppet. You can’t get it done anymore and he will never back down from a lazy Hollywood part timer like Cena. SHOTS FIRED EVERYWHERE! Shane McMahon then arrived, praised Styles and Ambrose for their title match and praised Styles for his title win and the fact that he beat Cena. Shane then says that Styles took the easy way out, but he is the champion. Shane says Ambrose will get a one on one rematch, but at No Mercy Styles will defend against John Cena and Dean Ambrose in a triple threat match. But tonight Cena and Ambrose will team up against Styles and a partner of his choosing, if he can find one, if not the GM will appoint one. That was a tremendous opening segment, with great emotion and everyone playing their roles well. I am all in on the match, with the only complaint I have being that Cena gets a title match for just being Cena. He lost his last match, against the current champion, and then took a vacation and did nothing to earn it. But damn if the promo work from Cena, Styles and Ambrose wasn’t awesome.

The Usos vs. The Hype Bros: Everyone was already in the ring for this. The Usos dropped the black gear already, which is a shame. The Usos attacked the knee of Ryder that they injured at Backlash. Ryder survived and got the hot tag to Mojo, he ran wild for a bit as Ryder got taken out. Superkick to Mojo, and the top rope splash finished him. This was exactly what it needed to be, they worked Ryder’s knee and won in dominating fashion.

– We get Curt Hawkins doing some Hawkins facts.

The Miz Speaks: Miz and Maryse made their way to the ring. Miz says that Daniel Bryan and the WWE Universe have been calling him a coward, but he left Backlash with his beautiful wide and the IC Title, This is day 162 of his never ending IC Title run world tour, and he has held the title longer than Triple H, Pat Patterson and Dolph Ziggler. He is a main event and made the title important. Ziggler then made his way out and says Miz is trying to prove to himself that he’s the champion. Ziggler says the guys in the back laugh at him, and the WWE Universe will never see him as a true main eventer because they see through him. Miz says he is the main event on any show he is on. If he lived and died on the WWE Universe, he’d be buried six feet under, just like Ziggler’s career. Ziggler says that there is an asterisk next to his win over Ziggler, and Ziggler challenges him to one more match. No gimmicks, no Maryse, no stunt double and no excuses, just them one on one. Maryse interrupted to good heat, and then Daniel Bryan arrived. Bryan said that Maryse cheated at Backlash and cost Ziggler the title match, Bryan says Ziggler will get a rematch, but Miz says he never earned the title shot in the first place (I mean, he’s right) and wants his contract renegotiated and will not wrestle until he gets what he wants. Miz and Maryse then bailed as Ziggler and Bryan stood there looking at each other. This was another good segment; Miz is killing his character work and was great here. The contract angle works very well for his character and plays off of the issues with Bryan perfectly.

– AJ Styles meets with Baron Corbin and offers him a spot as his partner tonight. Corbin says he would rather be his opponent because he wants the title.

Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin: This is a rematch from the Backlash pre-show, which Corbin won. As Crews was posing on the ropes, Corbin attacked him and sent him to the floor. He then hit end of days, and stood tall. The match never officially started. Jack Swagger then arrived, with commentary speculating the he has signed with Smackdown. He faced off with Corbin, and Corbin bailed. Swagger then got the mic and says Smackdown is his new home. He runs down his accomplishments, including having a hot wife. You may think you know his abilities, but you don’t know “jack.” Smackdown is a land of opportunity and he will be a big problem. This is their attempt to reboot Swagger, which isn’t a bad idea, but coming off of the loss to Mahal last night it feels hard to care about him. Also, the promo was really no good as he felt like he was trying to be a caricature of a charismatic pro wrestler, but failed. I am fine with them not jumping right back to Corbin vs. Crews, but Crews came off as a complete goof/jobber here.

– Becky Lynch is out and is interviewed about becoming the first Smackdown women’s champion, and got “you deserve it” chants. She had the fight of her life against five competitors, but had to pull herself up to get what she wanted. She fought hard to get to her destination, and this destination is sweet. She will be a fighting champion. This leads to the beginning of the #1 contender’s match. Becky is so happy to be champion and it shows in a good way, she seems genuinely pleased to have this title.

#1 Contender’s Match: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi vs. Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya: BREAKING NEWS: Alexa has kept her Harley Quinn look. This is one fall to a finish, not an elimination match like at Backlash. Everyone brawled to begin, with Natalya hitting suplexes to all. Nikki broke up a pin after a Michinoku driver, and then Carmella got involved, which did not please Nikki. Carmella tried to bail, but Nikki hit a leaping lariat on the floor and Naomi and Natalya worked in the ring. Nikki back in and drops Naomi with the electric chair, allowing Bliss to return and try for covers on both. Natalya cut her off, Bliss went for code read but Naomi kicked her head off. Nikki hit the Bella buster on Natalya, rear view by Naomi on Nikki and that got a near fall. Natalya slammed Naomi to the steps, but Nikki sent her to the barricade. Back in, Nikki worked over Bliss and set her up top. Carmella returned and superkicked Nikki, but Bliss sent her to the floor and stole the pin. I liked that they went with the surprise winner in Bliss; she has been great as of late and has been a good opportunist. They also did a god job here of advancing the Carmella vs. Nikki angle. Also, can we stop complaining about Nikki Bella? She’s come back and is in great shape, is working hard and is putting people over. Anyway, the match was short but a really fun little sprint.

– AJ Styles finds Kane backstage and tries to get him to be his tag team partner. AJ kissed up to Kane, who laughed in his face and walked off. Not a big fan of that segment, as don’t think that AJ needs to look like an idiot.

Heath Slater Signs His Contract: Shane McMahon is in the ring, and puts over Slater for taking his chance and becoming a tag team champion. Slater and Rhyno make their way to the ring, and Slater has a new shirt that says, “I GOT KIDS!” Shane congratulates Slater and says it is time to make things official. Slater holds up the contract in victory as Shane says he deserves it and he signs. Slater thanks Shane, Bryan and his wife Beulah. They’re getting that doublewide! He then thanks Rhyno, who is his friend, his partner and they are the champions. They will take on anyone, any place. Rhyno is less than enthused. Slater then thanks his kids, Roscoe, Betty Lou (who he plans to get a tongue for), Roslyn Snow… and the Ascension interrupt and challenge then to a tag title match tonight. Slater say she just signed his contract and there is no referee. Shane then says he can get the ring cleared and we’re getting a title match. Heath Slater is a ton of fun, and you can see that his enthusiasm could lead to Rhyno turning down the line with those subtle looks of non-approval he shoots Slater from time to time.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Match: Champions Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. The Ascension: JIP with the Ascension working the heat on Slater. They tosses Rhyno and then did… some sloppy ass double team move. Rhyno made the save, Konnor posted himself and Slater tagged in Rhyno. He ran wild on Viktor, hitting a spinebuster but Konnor made the save. Slater in now, he gets tossed to the floor; Rhyno tosses Konnor and spears Viktor for the win. This was short, chaotic, had zero flow and was overall very bad professional wrestling.

– AJ did not find a partner, so Bryan is having him tag with James Ellsworth, who was recently killed by Braun Strowman. AJ was not pleased with this.

Randy Orton Talks: Orton took a long walk to the ring, and then posed for a bit before talking. He says that Wyatt always talks and is the face of fear, because he is always afraid. That’s why he attacked Orton at Backlash. He won’t be the first to try, and he won’t be the last to try. “If you got the balls, come down to the ring and face your fear.” Wyatt cut a promo from the backstage area, saying he gave Orton a way out. Instead, Orton chose to embarrass him, and he didn’t like that. He knows what he must do, to death do they part, nothing can end this now; don’t sleep Randy, do not sleep. He then magically appeared at ringside, and Orton challenged him to fight. The lights out gimmick hit again and Erick rowan was in the ring and beating down Orton. Orton of course hit the RKO, out of nowhere, and stood tall. This was fine, I am having a difficult time getting into Orton vs. Wyatt. They arrive, they say words and I just don’t feel anything. It exists.

– The Miz attacked James Ellsworth as he made his entrance, and says that he is the main event, he laid out Ellsworth with the skull-crushing finale and will take his place as AJ’s partner. Miz was great there with the vicious beat down, proclaiming that he was the main event and playing off of the fact that he is calling the shots is well done.

John Cena and Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles and The Miz: JIP with Miz working over Cena. Miz and Styles did a nice job of keeping control, with Miz taking the ref and Styles getting in cheap shots, Commentary actually did a nice job of noting that Cena has been out of action since Summerslam, and may be off of his game. Ambrose would get the hot tag, he got to run wild for a bit, hitting Styles with his wacky elbow drop for a near fall. Ambrose kept control, sending Miz to the floor and shooting him to the barricade. Styles caught him with the PELE as he returned to the ring and we took the commercial break. Post break, Ambrose and Miz were down. They worked to their feet, and went to the corner where they battled up top. Miz shoved him off and hit the double axe handle, and then tagged in Styles. Styles knocked Cena to the floor, allowing Miz to work over Ambrose a bit. Ambrose tried to fight back, but Styles kept control and grounded Ambrose. Styles hit a series of strikes, but Ambrose countered with the neck breaker and he got the tag to Cena. Cena ran wild on Miz, shoulder blocks, proto bomb, five-knuckle shuffle combo complete. Styles broke up the AA, but got sent to the floor and Ambrose hit the suicide dive. Cena gets the AA on Miz and that is that. Post match Ambrose was not impressed and hit dirty deeds on Cena and told him to never disrespect him again. It really feels that they are turning Ambrose, which is interesting. I really could have done without Miz eating the pin here, he was great on the mic and came off well with the attack on Ellsworth. But to have him lose to Cena right away feels as if they are going back to the same old. Cena and Ambrose were the tag partners that didn’t get along, and I feel that Ambrose laying out Cena, causing him to lose the match would have made a bigger impact. Or Cena causing Ambrose to lose, leading to Ambrose laying him also would have worked. The match was good, just not a fan of the booking of the finish.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

This was an overall good show tonight, with matches set for No Mercy and some really strong mic work from Miz, Ambrose, Styles and Cena. While the tag title match was no good, there wasn’t a ton of wrestling (it was angle heavy, which worked) and I wasn’t a big fan of the main event finish, the show had a great energy and flew by. They are giving a lot of people purpose and I am excited for the direction of No Mercy.