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Furious Flashbacks: NOAH Great Voyage in Tokyo 2014 Vol. 3
Loading...NOAH Great Voyage in Tokyo Vol. 3
6th December 2014 (Aired 13th December on Nippon TV)
We’re in Tokyo, Japan at the Ariake Colosseum. This is the third and final big venue Tokyo show of the year for NOAH. They’ve drawn 5,800 for it, which is down on the 6,200 they drew in July. The card wasn’t that different, in terms of star power and big match anticipation so I’m not really getting the drop. Unless they’ve reconfigured the venue and lost 400 seats in the process.
Hitoshi Kumano vs. Mitsuhiro Kitamiya
Oh good fucking grief, again? So it’s Kitamiya vs. Kumano for the millionth time and nobody cares now, NOAH. They’ve actually booked Kitamiya into a little challenge series where he’ll wrestle a bunch of top guys (Sugiura, Sekimoto, Marufuji etc) to get an idea of where he’s at. He’ll probably learn more in a week than he has during the last year of jerking the curtain. Kumano’s own challenge series has been pencilled in for 2019 and he might get a match higher up the card by 2024. I’m amazed they don’t just loan him out somewhere. Working for DDT or K-Dojo could work wonders for him. So far he’s just worked one-off bouts, doing much the same thing as he does in NOAH. Back in this match Kitamiya wins with an abdominal stretch….again.
Final Rating: *1/2
Super Crazy, FUNAKI & Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Yoshinari Ogawa, Zack Sabre Jr. & Pesadilla
Yeah, you’re reading that right. It seems Super Crazy went out and got some former WWE back-up to battle Ogawa & Sabre Jr. and also lent them his tag team partner. I don’t really understand why (presumably to job?). All the former WWE guys come out to their WWE music. Sometimes watching a promotion that’s totally under Vince McMahon’s radar is a good thing. FUNAKI looks bloody pregnant. He’s not in good shape. He sure looks happy to be here though and his opening exchanges with Ogawa are ok albeit slow. Technically he’s always been pretty good, even if he wasn’t the best Kaientai guy out there (Dick Togo, bitches!). I love Sabre’s dedication to working Scotty; you will work hard, you WILL LOOK GOOD, GODDAMNIT. When left to his own devices Scotty does popping, locking and posing and not much else so Zack has his work cut out. Crazy must have had a hand in organising this as he spends the entire match grinning like an idiot. That is until Ogawa & Sabre, not known for their sense of humour, try and break his arm. Scotty clearly hasn’t done much work in Japan as he tries to get the crowd clapping and it seems weirdly out of place. He’s probably worried about how quiet the fans are but it’s only the second match and FUNAKI & Pesadilla blow a DDT so badly it almost kills them even quieter. Scotty hits the Worm, which the crowd are somewhat confused by and when Pesadilla stays down for three there’s a bit of a chuckle. As if to say; that’s your finisher? Really? We thought it was a rib. FUNAKI looked ok for the most part and that blown DDT aside nothing went horribly wrong. Unless you were looking to avoid eliciting laughter for your finish.
Final Rating: **
Daisuke Sekimoto & Yankee Two Kenju (Isami Kodaka & Yuko Miyamoto) vs. TMDK & Quiet Storm
This is basically Big Japan vs. NOAH, although as gaijin you’d question whether TMDK will get that much love? Kodaka & Miyamoto are looking to step up from the horrors of Big Japan’s death match scene. I approve. Sekimoto and Storm charging into each other makes me smile. It’s like watching two sides of beef have a fight. Both TMDK and Yankee Two Kenju make a point of using double teams to put across their tag team ability. TMDK look the more organised and manage to pick Kodaka off. That’s going fine until he tags out and Miyamoto discovers his moves still work here (he seems to have a brief crisis of confidence). TMDK get the better of him with double teams too and TMDK’s ability to the cut the ring in half has dominated the story of the match. The suggestion seems to be that the Big Japan guys aren’t as well organised, nor as disciplined and they only get back into it when they ignore the rules. So we ignore them and go back to Sekimoto and Storm going nuts and wailing on each other with big meaty forearms. There’s something mesmerising about it. This is probably the only time you’ll ever hear me say this; but this match needed more Quiet Storm. Yankee Two Kenju both hit ridiculous topes with absolutely no concern for their own safety, which frees up Sekimoto to brutalise Storm and finish him with the German suplex. This was good fun all round. They perhaps did too much formula but that allowed TMDK to show how they were superior to the invaders from BJW. Meanwhile Sekimoto was a magnificent beast, as per usual.
Final Rating: ***
Masato Tanaka & No Mercy (Akitoshi Saito & Genba Hirayanagi) vs. BRAVE (Katsuhiko Nakajima, Mohammed Yone & Taiji Ishimori)
Ishimori looks seriously motivated in the early going, as if he’s pissed off that he’s not been considered for Junior title contention since losing the belt. Everybody pairs off and we get a tidy kick duel from Saito and Nakajima. They work this match like it’s not particularly important and it has an air of the ‘midcard’ about it. Tanaka is always working at that main event level though so he drags Nakajima up, kicking and screaming. And elbowing. The others seem to be suffering from timing issues and Ishimori flip bumps a Saito lariat before it even connects. The match’s midcard vibe continues with Genba getting a near fall off spitting in Yone’s face. Twice. Genba’s silliness even dominates the closing stages as he low blows everyone on the other team. For that he gets picked off and hit with the Kinniku Buster for the pin. This was ok but had a disposable vibe from the opening minute. Tanaka and Nakajima aside, they treated this like a night off.
Final Rating: **1/4
Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Maybach Taniguchi
I still don’t understand Taniguchi’s weapon, what is the point of it? Ok, I know it’s a Sasumata, which is an arresting ‘fork’ used by samurai police (only in Japan) but why does Maybach use it? What significance does it have to him? I don’t really understand the point of this match either. Having Kojima vs. Morishima for the top contender’s spot basically freed these two up so they’ve stuck them together. Personally, I’m not into either guy as a singles wrestler. Taniguchi is only entertaining when he’s getting his ass kicked and Tenzan is only good when dishing out Mongolian chops. They’re both better in short bursts and ideal for tag matches. Taniguchi gets a few jollies by piling chairs onto Tenzan and saves a few laughs for those at home when he inevitably falls over, legs tangled in chair. Interesting to note the NOAH fans don’t mark out for Tenzan’s Mongolian chops, or hardly any of his spots, in a display of anti-New Japan fandom. In fact the vast majority of the match is met with mild disinterest as the fans don’t care about Taniguchi either. It’s actually quite sad. This being Taniguchi they work in all kinds of bullshit like weapons shots and a fucking ref bump. It really does suck. I’d have been quite happy for Taniguchi to get himself disqualified in the first minute. The finish is total horseshit as the ref somehow misses Taniguchi using his weapon repeatedly before eventually just calling for the DQ when he finally catches him doing it. Again, I’d have been in favour of a DQ right at the start to save us all some time.
Final Rating: DUD
Takeshi Morishima vs. Satoshi Kojima
I have surprisingly high hopes for this after they had a figurative dick-measuring contest at the Global League finals. However, that effort came largely from Morishima going over. When he’s losing…let’s just say the effort is lacking. Unfortunately Taniguchi is still out here, so we don’t get the intended 1 on 1. When will NOAH get some control over Cho Kibou-gun? It’s like the bastard nWo up in here. Kojima’s first ‘measure’ is to whip Taniguchi into the rail, like a punk, and DDT Morishima on the apron. Morishima can’t bring himself to work the match and keeps feeding Kojima to Taniguchi. It’s enormously frustrating, given the chemistry Morishima and Kojima have. They only have 10 minutes, why fill it with crap? Well, Morishima is switched onto lazy again, presumably because he’s jobbing. What a worthless, idle sack of crap he can be. Just to add to the misery, Kojima decides this is the match where he’ll do loads of selling. All I want from these two is a massive brawl with no selling at all. What I get is Morishima continually looking to Taniguchi, at one point double teaming until Tenzan runs in for the save. 3-D on Taniguchi! Which actually draws heat because the fans still hate Kojima, even if he’s being double teamed. They just don’t understand. Why couldn’t they just wail on each other? The fans don’t want to cheer one guy on, they want these two to kill each other. They finally get into this segment of the match and then Kojima immediately wins with a lariat. Oh, fuck you guys.
Final Rating: ½*
GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship:
Cho Kibou-gun (Kenou & Hajime Ohara) (c) vs. Jushin Liger & Tiger Mask IV
Three Cho Kibou-gun matches in a row? At least this one means something with Kenou & Ohara facing the biggest challenge of their career; against NJPW veterans Liger & Tiger Mask. Kenou behaves like a dick, as always, and I’m disappointed that Liger lets him get away with it. Just to amp up that dickish heel nature of CKG, Ohara tries to pull Liger’s mask off. Normally NOAH vs. NJPW matches see the NOAH guys as faces in NOAH and the NJPW guys as faces in NJPW. Here the NOAH guys are clearly defined as heel and the crowd don’t know how to respond. It’s a pity too, as Liger is one of THE great heels and rarely gets the chance to show it off. Liger, perhaps upset with the lack of reaction to the opening 5 minutes, decides to change gears and BRAINBUSTERS Kenou on the floor. Kendo stick your way out of that, pal! The NJPW guys pick on Kenou after that and it’s a great reversal on his usual fortunes. Plus Tiger Mask totally turns back the clock and wrestles like it’s 2002. It’s as if Liger looked at Cho Kibou-gun and said “we’re better heels than that” and then Kenou gets his ass kicked. It’s so effective it totally changes the game and Ohara gets a HOT TAG! Suddenly his cheating has become loveable and the crowd let out a little pop for him raking the eyes. There’s a moment when he straps Liger in Muy Bien where it’s not unthinkable that he’ll submit the great man and Tiger Mask making the save draws heat. Kenou even goes all SHIBATA on Tiger Mask by sweeping his legs and stamping on his head. It’s beautiful. Against all the odds the match becomes not only good but borderline great. The veterans work their asses off and CKG take an array of sickening bumps. It doesn’t have nuclear heat (because this crowd suck) that made the old NOAH-NJPW junior tags pop but the action is fantastic. Kenou screws it up by using the Kendo stick and drawing heat BUT because he always cocks it up, Ohara takes the stick and uses it instead. It’s actually a fun little spot that ties into the recent failings of Kenou. With Tiger Mask down and hurt Kenou punts him in the chest for the pin. They screwed up the tone of this one from the get-go and they should have had the New Japan guys be the defined heels from the bell. Otherwise a very good junior match that showcased Kenou & Ohara.
Final Rating: ***3/4
GHC Junior Heavyweight Championship:
Daisuke Harada (c) vs. Atsushi Kotoge
These guys came up through the business together, teaming and opposing each other through every stage of their career. So familiarity will not be an issue. Harada has been the outstanding Junior in NOAH all year long but Kotoge has been wrestling in the main events. It’s a little telling that despite all the build up these are basically two guys who’ve only been in NOAH for a few years so the crowd aren’t *that* into it. Kotoge wakes them up with dives and when Harada slaps him for it, headbutts. I like a lot of their familiarity work where Kotoge counters Harada’s big DDT to the floor but then it’s countered back into a DVD on the floor. They clearly want to put on a big match but it’s just so heatless. It’s almost distracting. Luckily they don’t let it phase them and the actual wrestling is fine. Harada dishes out such a beating to Kotoge that the fans eventually start to get into it. He has been an outstanding champion and he puts Kotoge through such abuse here. Lots of bumps on the neck, lots of heavy striking and Kotoge just takes it. It’s as if his moment is slipping away, as he’s dismantled by the technically superior Harada. Even when he tries something massive, like an apron spot, Harada has the counter ready. He knows Kotoge too well. It’s Harada who opens up the chance for Kotoge by missing a big Savage Elbow onto the apron. That gives Kotoge the chance to hit a BATSHIT CRAZY missile dropkick where Harada takes a killer bump off the apron.
Kotoge lacks Harada’s precision but tends to go for ballsy spots. He throws his own wellbeing to the wind at every turn and even gets away the Unprettier, which Harada head-spikes, FOR 2! Now the crowd start to bite a little bit, although they’ve been shamefully absent throughout, as the wrestlers are building a masterful conclusion. They do a brief strike duel and Harada’s flying forearm smash is a thing of beauty. Harada has been driven to the point where he has to end Kotoge, not just beat him. So his old running buddy gets straight up PUNCHED IN THE FACE ahead of the HENKEI KNEE UPPER! That gets 2. KATAYAMA GERMAN SUPLEX….FOR 2! Kotoge just won’t stay down. SLAP DUEL! ROLLING EL…HEADBUTT! Kotoge starts no selling shit and BLOCKS THE HENKEI with his own flying knee. Oh shit, this is AWESOME. HEADBUTTS! But now it’s Harada who won’t stay down, won’t give up his title without a fight. The last gasp kickouts these guys do are phenomenal. As if every move is the finish. Then Kotoge finds the Unprettier countered again so he rolls through it; MOTHERFUCKING KUDO DRIVER!!!! Oh shit! You’d better believe that’s over. Harada loses his title and Kotoge, complete with bloodied forehead from his own headbutts, wins the big one. The crowd was obviously a disappointment but the match was fucking brilliant. NOAH MOTY.
Final Rating: ****3/4
GHC Heavyweight Championship:
Naomichi Marufuji (c) vs. Takashi Sugiura
Sugi switches entrance music here to “War” by Edwin Starr (it’s normally “When Love Comes to Town” by U2). Unlike the last match, which was great, this immediately has the vibe of a big-time contest. Sugiura had a really long run (581 days, 2nd longest GHC title reign) with the GHC title and the general vibe within the business was it happened because there was no one else to take the belt. Now Marufuji has made that belt his and Sugiura has returned to make sure he’s worthy of it. They start on the mat with Sugi wanting to check out Maru’s skill there and discovers he’s capable. Marufuji has made great strides in improving his all-round game since his first title run way back in 2006. Marufuji decides to do some testing of his own and almost catches Sugi with Ko-Oh. With both guys aware this won’t be over quickly, Marufuji takes it back to the mat and into the cooler. Historically it’s always a good tactic for the champion to control the early pace and the show the challenger he’s in this for the duration. It’s up to the challenger to force the pace. But when Sugiura does that, Marufuji is equal to it. He’s all grown up! Sugiura has to find more aggression and opts for working over Marufuji’s ribs…and his FACE. Sugiura wants to knee Marufuji in the face before Maru knees him in the face. Shoot first, ask questions later. Marufuji takes exception and hits a PILEDRIVER ON THE APRON. Sugiura isn’t happy about that and ELBOWS Marufuji in the jaw to block the Shiranui. Business is picking up.
They run a near miss sequence that has the crowd “Ooooohhhh”ing throughout before Sugi goes back to the ribs. His consistency at targeting that injured area has been fine. Marufuji hasn’t done much selling in response, like being unable to lift Sugiura and it limiting his movement. He generally does opt for strikes and using superior pace, which could be construed as selling by avoiding potential issues. Marufuji’s Ko-Oh knee strike has become a deadly weapon for the champ and he crumples Sugiura with one in this match but when he goes for a second Sugiura ELBOWS THE SHIN! Great work all round there. Establishing the move, finding the counter and selling it. This is certainly a stiff contest and Sugiura doesn’t spare the horses when he’s throwing elbows or knees nor Marufuji with his kicks and knees. Marufuji’s inconsistencies in selling, fatigue especially, are a worry. One moment he’s barely getting a shoulder up on a pin and the next he’s hitting a superkick. It’s the old John Cena Syndrome. Sell, sell, sell, sell, absolutely fine. They decide to go in for some serious fatigue selling so when Maru hits the super shiranui it doesn’t finish on account of both guys lying around afterwards. From there Sugiura holds Marufuji upright so he can elbow him some more but that backfires when Marufuji uses Sugi to help him balance and hit the Ko-Oh. Sugi kicks out so Marufuji hauls him back up for the Emerald Flowsion. That does it and Marufuji has once again proved himself worthy of the GHC title. Not the most consistent of bouts, especially with the fatigue stuff, but plenty of brutal strikes and effort.
Final Rating: ****
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