Greg DeMarco’s Bold Predictions: WWE BattleGround

411Mania’s Greg DeMarco gets you ready for Sunday’s WWE BattleGround in style with his B.O.L.D. Predictions!

Welcome to the home of the ORIGINAL Bold Predictions. Not some Bleacher Report (or otherwise) knockoff! For the record, I wrote my first ever Bold Predictions in 1997 for the email version of The Bagpipe Report.

On Sunday, July 19th, the WWE presents their annual BattleGround pay-per-view, or as some might call it, the most generically named PPV since FastLane. But it does have that whole “capital letter in the middle” vibe going for it.

BattleGround follows the hit or miss Money In The Bank event, which featured Sheamus winning the briefcase. I mean, I’m sure SOMEONE wanted Sheamus to hold the briefcase!

So precisely what is going to happen at BattleGround on Sunday? For answers to that question you should check out our 411Mania Roundtable Preview!

Because contained below are bold predictions for the event. Not likely to happen, these are indeed B.O.L.D.: Bullheaded, Outlandish, Lascivious, and Deplorable. But if one hits, I can promise you’ll never hear the end of it!

What’s The Undertaker Doing In The BattleGround Zone???

If you believe the dude on Reddit that seems to be right a lot, ‘Taker’s comin’ back y’all!

And I do, in fact, believe it.

Look, Vince McMahon is getting desperate. According to his calculations, the WWE Network should have roughly 14.65 billion subscribers by now—because every person on the planet would love it so much they’d each have two.

But they don’t. So what does Vince do? Well instead of looking long-term and making a plan that would ensure a prosperous future for his company, he brings back Shane McMahon…

…or The Undertaker.

But what exactly is Undertaker doing at BattleGround? If you believe the reports, he’s going after Brock Lesnar. Apparently he wasn’t aware that Brock was at WrestleMania 31, also in a world title match, also involving Seth Rollins (at least the end…), so he’s doing it now.

OR:

He’s coming for Roman Reigns.

Why? Because fuck you, that’s why!

Actually it’s because Vince really really really wants Roman Reigns to rule the yard, so pairing him with the guy who ruled it for two decades is the way Vince does it. Undertaker comes out after Roman dispatches of Bray Wyatt (because everyone does), and points to the SummerSlam sign. Because it’s the summer’s WrestleMania, and we need a sign for it.

OH, WAIT! Is that a double prediction? Because I just called a SummerSlam sign at BattleGround. I guess that’s prediction 1A.

And The Winner Is…

No one.

Brock Lesnar is a bad, bad, man, and he could probably destroy Seth Rollins in real life.

But as much as the UFC inspired poster would like us to pretend, this ain’t real, it’s 100% fake and it’s not going to a decisive finish.

Why? Because SUMMERSLAM, that’s why!

The WWE needs to put on a huge event for SummerSlam, and the one thing Brock Lesnar hasn’t done since his return is chase. And as Kevin Nash will tell you, the money is in the chase.

Brock will be on the chase through SummerSlam, where he’ll become WWE World Heavyweight Champion once again. Triple H and The Authority will do everything they can to stop it, but Paul Heyman will find a legal loophole, or Vince will show up and make it happen.

Because we all know Vince can totally save the ratings.

LOLNIKKIDOESN’TWRESTLE

I know, I know. The punchline should be that Nikki never wrestles, I get it.

But she was easily 2014’s most improved performer and she actually deserves to be Divas Champion.

Nikki Bella will walk into BattleGround as Divas Champion for 238 days, 57 behind AJ Lee’s record. And the best way to not lose a title is to not defend it.

I think the Divas will do something, we might even see Sasha Banks come out to challenge Nikki, only for someone else to answer. There could be something to this revolution, but that belt is not coming off of Nikki’s sexy waist (c’mon, it IS sexy and you know it) until she breaks CM Punk’s wife’s record.

LOLOWENSWINS

John Cena’s United States Championship win over Rusev at WrestleMania was ill-advised. It was the second straight WrestleMania where Cena seemingly derailed a guy who was insanely over, and Rusev and Lana have yet to recover from it.

But while it ruined Rusev, it damn sure didn’t ruin the United States Championship. In fact, it’s been the best thing to EVER happen to that belt.

Or title. Or whatever Vince McMahon insists I call it. Or he would, if he were paying me. Which he isn’t.
So it’s a belt.

Anyhow, that belt is arguably the most important title we see on Raw each week, more than Seth Rollins Authority Championship and even more than the fancy white one R-Truth stole during the Road to WrestleMania.

R-Truth sure does steal a lot, huh?

Anyhow, the US Championship Open Challenge segments were the best on Raw on a weekly basis, and it really kicked up when Kevin Owens answered at #RAWRichmond. Now it’s time for Owens to complete the story and win the United States Championship from John Cena.

I think Owens wins and goes on to face Cena, Rusev and Cesaro in a 4-way at SummerSlam, but only after he wins another Match Of The Year candidate with John Cena…you know the guy who can’t wrestle but has put on most of the year’s best matches.

Either way, LOLOWENSWINS

Replacing The Intercontinental Championship Match is…

Finn Balor debuts on the main roster…

…for reals this time,

(I told you I’d work this in as often as I can.)

Dean Finds A Way

Let’s face it, with FIVE matches left on the PPV portion of this event, they’re going to need to fill time. You have the Divas, you have my Finn Balor appearance, you could always bust Sting out, but you’ll need to add another match.

Who better than Dean Ambrose, who is doing ZERO right now? I say they pair Ambrose with Cesaro, Rusev and Neville and let them tear it up in a 4-way in the middle of the show. What’s the worst that could happen, they steal the show?

I’m fine with that if you are!

Here’s to hoping SummerFest gives us more to work with!

Hey, it actually happened!

Greg DeMarco is a wrestling fan of over 30 years and has worked on the independent circuit as a promoter, announcer, character and booker. Greg is a weekly contributor at 411Mania.com, applying his opinionated style to the world of pro wrestling as often as possible.

He began writing for 411Mania in October 2010 and has been pissing readers off ever since!

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And as always…