Hawke’s Royal Rumble 2017 Review

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January 29, 2017
San Antonio, Texas

Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, Austin Aries, & Jerry Lawler

 

Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella, & Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, & Natalya

This was okay, but it did not reach the levels that you might have expected. It ended up being a solid showcase for Naomi though, as she got a number of moments to shine. Overall though, the match just did not come together as well as you might have hoped. Naomi pinned Alexa with a split-legged moonsault. (**1/2)

 

Cesaro & Sheamus vs. The Club (Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows)

This was for Sheamus and Cesaro’s WWE Tag Team Championship.

This was a fine effort. They worked pretty hard and kept up a decent pace. The match just did not really come together in the manner that you would hope.

It was like everyone knew there was going to be a convoluted finish so there was no reason to care. It seems like just a straight-up competitive and well-structured match would have done the trick (much like the tag division in NXT!).

The nonsense with the multiple refs and whatnot was in fact nonsense. We’ll see if The Club finally gets going now that they finally won the belts, but they’ve basically redefined #VeryOk ever since they formed a team in their NJPW days. There’s not much evidence to suggest they’re suddenly going to become consistently good. (**1/2)

 

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

This was a really well-done contest! These two had an established issue. Sasha had a pre-existing injury, and they got to integrate that organically into the story to add some nuance. They had the big vs. small issue in play and used it well. They kept a great pace. Packed in a solid amount of action. Both women came out looking good. Yay, good match layouts! (***1/2)

 

Charlotte vs. Bayley

This was for Charlotte’s Raw Women’s Championship.

These two had a really good match on an NXT TakeOver two-and-a-half years ago. Time really fucking flies, dear lawd.

While this match had some awkward/distracting moments for sure, it really worked so well in a broader sense that those individual moments did not really matter.

Bayley came out hot and was flying around a fair bit. Charlotte sent Bayley’s head into the apron to get control. Charlotte worked Bayley over for a bit and somewhat targeted Bayley’s knee for a portion of it.

Bayley was fighting back and finally had a significant opening after she blocked a moonsault attempt from Charlotte. Bayley could not capitalize though because she used her injured knee to block the moonsault. This eventually allowed Charlotte to finish Bayley with Natural Selection on the apron.

This was a really fun match that overcame its deficiencies with a sound in-ring story. Good start to the main show. (***1/2)

 

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

This was a no disqualification match for Owen’s Universal Championship. Chris Jericho was forced into a shark cage for the match.

This match was basically the opposite of the main show’s opener. There were some cool and unique ideas in the match, but this really did not come together fully as a whole to reach its potential.

The match’s biggest problem was that it really felt dragged out. They started off with some weak crowd brawling which felt very obligatory. There was no passion. There wasn’t that relentless desire to kill the opponent that you need to pull off that kind of sequence well.

From there, the match moved back to the ring (and ringside area). They basically just built the match around a series of big plunder spots. The pace remained very methodical and the work continued to still be mostly executed without passion. It was very hard to care despite some fun moments throughout.

Reigns eventually had the match won, but Braun Strowman showed up and destroyed Reigns in fantastic fashion. That allowed Owens to steal the win. That did not make for a truly satisfying finish to this match’s story, but Braun’s destruction of Roman was fucking awesome.

Owens’ unworthy title reign is very reminiscent of Daniel Bryan’s first world title run in late 2011 and early 2012. (Will it also end with an 18-second Wrestlemania loss to an Irishman?) It’s one of those storylines that does no one any favors. Oh well.

The silver lining of this title match was that Braun Strowman and Reigns now seems like a definite Wrestlemania program, and their match could absolutely be excellent. (**1/2)

 

Neville vs. Rich Swann

This was for Swann’s Cruiserweight Championship.

So much of this match was SINFULLY boring. As in, both of these men should be sent straight to hell for how boring their work here. What in the fuck is going on? Who allowed this match to happen in this manner on a PPV?

It would be expected for two guys to not do much on a house show. This was a PPV though. How do you not go all out on a PPV? How do you not try to distinguish the Cruiserweight brand as something wholly unique compared to WWE? How do you allow it to be a chinlock fest with a handful of highspots in the second half? What in the fuck is going on? Neville won cleanly via submission. (1/2*)

 

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This was for AJ’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

This was a fun title match. These guys do not bring out the best in each other, but they always do well enough.

They basically just do a match where they pace out a lot of big spots, finisher teases, and nearfalls. There’s a great sense of competition to their work, and it always comes off as very lively and lots of fun. It never really gets over that level though.

There just is not enough nuance to the work or progression to the in-ring stories told over their series of matches. It was still pretty good at least and a worthy PPV title match. If you really enjoy finisher kickouts, you will probably enjoy this a lot more though. (***1/2)

 

The Royal Rumble Match

Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin vs. Big Cass vs. Big E vs. Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Cesaro vs. Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Enzo Amore vs. Goldberg vs. Jack Gallagher vs. James Ellsworth vs. Kalisto vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Luke Harper vs. Mark Henry vs. Mojo Rawley vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Rusev vs. Sami Zayn vs. Sheamus vs. The Big Show vs. The Miz vs. The Undertaker vs. Tye Dillinger vs. Xavier Woods

This was the 2017 Royal Rumble match.

There were a lot of things to enjoy about this Rumble.

Chris Jericho has clearly found his role in 2017 at his advanced wrestling age. He is the sniveling sidekick who has to entirely rely on his wits to get by. He was hilarious in the undeserving iron person Rumble spot, and it was hugely preferable to the usual Cody iron person spot where the wrestler goes the distance but never does anything significant. Great stuff.

Jack Gallagher and his umbrella are an absolutely delightful combo! He’s got a wonderful character and the in-ring pedigree to be a breakout star in 2017! Hopefully, he continues to be a featured performer on the main roster!

Mark Henry is a great guy to keep around just to have him pop up for stuff like this. WWE should try to use him sparingly throughout the year and build him up to an annual title shot.

Braun Strowman came off like one of the hottest acts in the company. He tore it up while he was in the ring, and the momentum of the match was sucked out as soon as he left. Truly impressive stuff. They need to go all the way with this guy.

The Big Show is still very fucking charming! Can’t wait for Show vs. Shaq!

The Goldberg vs. Brock stuff was done very well and was a smart turn to take on the path to their Wrestlemania match. Brock having a genuine motivation to seek out Bill is wonderful. Bill doesn’t seem to be moving around all that well though. They’ll need to lay out that match carefully.

It was great to watch all of those elements at play. It was truly shocking though to see how poorly this was laid out in general when they proved they could do so much right.

The match was structured so that only five wrestlers should have been taken seriously as main event stars: Braun, Brock, Goldberg, The Undertaker, and Roman. The key to realizing that was in how much they cooled off the match between Braun’s entrance and Brock’s entrance.

The match’s final four was then Roman, Bray, Orton, and Jericho. It should not be hard to figure out what the issue was there given the general layout of the match. (Beyond the fact that that is a shit-tastic final four for any Rumble.) You condition the fans to believe that only five guys really matter in the match and then they’re barely involved in the final sequence. One of them didn’t even win!

The idea that Orton won the Royal Rumble in 2017 is hysterical for all the wrong reasons. Whatever value there is in Randy Orton (and his great tag team with Bray is perfect for him quite frankly), it’s certainly not as a Rumble winner/world title competitor at Wrestlemania. The idea that Cena vs. Orton might be happening is beyond atrocious. It speaks poorly of the creative process that WWE has right now. (**3/4)