Kevin’s Raw Review 6.26.17

WWE Raw
June 26th, 2017 | Staples Center in Los Angeles, California

The show opened to the arrival of THE BIG DOG! He admitted that Samoa Joe put him to sleep and called Braun a coward for attacking him while he was down. Roman said he’s never been in an Ambulance Match before, but promised to beat Braun. An ambulance backed into the arena, so Roman went after it. It was empty when he opened it and Braun jumped him to a huge pop. They fought on the stage, Braun blocked a Superman punch and launched Reigns from the stage into the side of the ambulance. Braun threw him in the ambulance and closed it. Great opening segment. They kept the talking short and sweet, gave us action and built the upcoming match, all in under ten minutes.

Before the first match, Elias Samson was in the ring for his usual singing. He had Cesaro and Sheamus sitting with him. They were going to sing, but the Hardys’ music played to interrupt.

Elias Samson and WWE Raw Tag Team Champions Cesaro and Sheamus vs. Finn Balor and The Hardy Boyz
Finn and the Hardys are about as close to Devitt and the Young Bucks are we’re gonna get. They started hot, sending the heels packing before a commercial break. Josh Duhamel randomly joined commentary for this to promote his upcoming WWE Film. So, that’s what a career as the star of such hit shows like Las Vegas gets you. Surprisingly, Finn took the heat for his team. Thankfully, it didn’t last too long and Jeff was next to take it for longer. He’s also sympathetic, but not nearly as high on the card as Finn. The problem with Jeff’s heat was that it was mostly through another commercial. That can take a viewer out of a match. Matt got the hot tag and did his thing, until Cesaro threw him into the ring post. Finn saved Matt and got the final tag. He got in his signature stuff (sling blade, tope con hilo, corner dropkick) before hitting Cesaro with the Coup de Grace to win at 17:26. A good opening match with solid heat segments and a fun finish. The commercial breaks killed some of my enjoyment though. [***]

Goldust gave us another one of his old school style promos. He talked about performing when the lights are brightest, which he can do, but not R-Truth.

John Cena returns as a free agent on 7/4.

Goldust came out with his own personal cameraman and wore attire from his early days. He’s supposed to face Truth. Truth went right after him, but Goldust hid behind his cameraman, only to jump him. The match never got started because of it.

Backstage, Charly interviewed Paul Heyman about Brock Lesnar calling out Samoa Joe later tonight. Joe interrupted by coming up behind Heyman and putting him in position for the Coquina Clutch. He didn’t fully apply it and said he wasn’t gonna waste it on Heyman because it’s meant for Lesnar. More great work by Joe in this program.

Bayley was shown picking her number for the main event Gauntlet match.

MizTV time. Maryse was with The Miz, despite their issues. Miz said they were fine, but Maryse clearly wasn’t. He brought out his guest, the Ball family. For those living under a rock, Lavar Ball was a guy who couldn’t cut it himself as an athlete. However, his kids have done quite well for themselves and he made a name for himself by being the loudest person in the room and making crazy claims. He came out with his youngest son, Lamelo, before giving a big introduction to his eldest son, Lonzo. Lonzo was just drafted by the hometown Lakers. Lonzo got a cheap pop for mentioning the Lakers. Miz tried to say Lavar was here to set up a partnership with him, but Lavar declined. Lavar and Miz got into it, with Lavar hurling lame insults. They nearly came to blows, with both men removing their shirts until Dean Ambrose came out with a Big Baller Brand shirt. He said something about the Great Balls of Fire PPV and having balls, before the segment ended. That fell flat. Lavar’s not charismatic, he’s just loud and he talked over Dean’s one line.

Dean Ambrose, Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel and WWE Intercontinental Champion The Miz w/ Maryse
This was about as basic a six man tag as you could get. Rhyno got worked over, which was unexpected since Heath Slater fits that role better. Once he tagged out, the babyfaces took over and sent them outside heading into a commercial. Returning from break, Slater indeed took his own heat segment. Miz still does the Daniel Bryan kicks. I expected a hot tag to Dean but it went to Rhyno. A distraction allowed Rhyno to get rolled up to end it at 12:19. Basic as hell and nowhere near as fun as the earlier six man tag. Also, the distraction rollup finish is something I’ve been over for a while. [*½]

A video package aired to recap the Cass/Enzo segment last week, while also showing their history together.

Following a break, Enzo Amore came out. He was surprisingly hyper and dancing around, almost as if nothing happened last week. He said he tried contacting Cass a bunch this week, including talking to his mother, but hasn’t heard from Cass. Enzo called out Cass to talk, man to man. Cass showed up TO THE SAME OLD ENZO AND CASS THEME. Enzo said some of what Cass said last week was right. He talked a big game because he had Cass to back him up. He called Cass his brother and said he took pride riding shotgun with him. Enzo refused to let Cass break their bond before becoming Tag Team Champions. Cass said he’s ashamed of what he did last week and admitted they’re brothers. He apologized and they shook hands. Cass hugged Enzo, who said he loved him. They did the S-A-W-F-T spiel and left up the ramp together, only for Cass to, GASP, clothesline Enzo. He then press slammed him on the stage. This segment was okay. Enzo’s passion was appreciated, but the fake out stuff didn’t click for me.

Cass came back out to threaten Corey Graves. He didn’t like what Graves has said about him but Kurt Angle said touching Graves is off limits.

Curt Hawkins vs. Seth Rollins
There was a promo before the match, but my cable went out for a bit, so I missed it. Hawkins started with a bit of offense, but Seth Rollins turned it around quickly. He hit a suicide dive, superkick and V-Trigger for the win at 2:58. A fine little squash for Seth. [NR]

Bray Wyatt interrupted to cut the same promo he’s been cutting on different people for years. He said he’s in Seth’s head and said July 9th would be the date Seth will burn. I guess they meet at Great Balls of Fire.

Dana Brooke and Mickie James retrieved their numbers for the main event, while Kurt Angle looked into his phone.

Outside, Brock Lesnar arrived.

Sasha got her number and looked pleased.

In the ring, Paul Heyman hyped up Brock Lesnar and called Samoa Joe a “Samoan Dumbass” for not fearing Brock. He plugged the hell out of this segment, saying to set your DVR and that bathroom break time was over. Joe jumped Brock during his entrance and slapped on the Coquina Clutch. Brock turned pink from the choke and struggled to try and break it. He finally turned it over and sent Joe into the screen twice, nearly breaking it. Joe didn’t let go and hit knee strikes before putting the choke back on. The Revival and other wrestlers had to come pull Joe off.

Non-Title Match: WWE Cruiserweight Champion Neville vs. Lince Dorado
Akira Tozawa watched from ringside in the “Titus Brand” section. Neville’s confidence cost him early, as Lince got in some offense and hit a dive to the outside. He even picked up a near fall on a flying cross body. Neville pulled at the mask to get in control and made Lince tap to the Rings of Saturn at 3:00. Like Seth’s match, this was exactly what it needed to be. [NR]

Post-match, Neville laid the title down and dared Tozawa to get in the ring. Tozawa obliged, but out came Titus O’Neil. He told them not to fight for free, especially since he just finalized a deal to get Tozawa a Cruiserweight Title match at Great Balls of Fire. CAN THE NEVILLE LEVEL COMPARE TO THE POWA OF TOZAWA?

Emma got her number.

Backstage, Paul Heyman was asked about what just happened with Joe. Heyman put Joe over, saying if he got the Coquina Clutch at the PPV, he’ll be the new champion. As a promoter, he loves it, but he as an agent, he believes Brock will beat him. Heyman’s delivery was fantastic and has to be seen to do it any kind of justice.

Elsewhere, Alexa Bliss ran into Nia Jax. She tried to say they were alike because they’re judged and doubted on their looks. She told Nia she didn’t believe there was a woman in the match who could drag her down, before wishing her good luck. Nia thanked her, but said she’ll see Alexa at the PPV.

Number One Contender’s Gauntlet Match: Bayley vs. Dana Brooke vs. Emma vs. Mickie James vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks
Bayley and Nia started things, renewing their old rivalry. Nia dominated this portion outside of a few hope spots. Bayley hit a big elbow for her only real near fall. Nia eliminated her with a Samoan Drop at a paltry 3:36. Mickie James was next, going right into commercial. Returning, Nia wore her down with a bear hug. Mickie’s hope spots were better than Bayley’s and she even got to hit the Mick Kick. Nia blocked the big DDT before getting three on a body block at 10:02. Dana Brooke was the fourth participant. Dana’s entrance took about 20 seconds and she ate a leg drop to be eliminated at 11:02. Yes, one minute after Mickie. Emma was out next. Emma used her brains, suckering Nia in and picking up a near fall. Nia quickly hit a Samoan Drop and won at 12:24. Mickie did the best so far and only because it went through commercial. Sasha Banks was last, giving us a rematch from Royal Rumble and Fastlane. Sasha had the right game plan, frustrating Nia with her quickness. Following a break, Nia was back in control. Booker said she had competed for 25 minutes, when it was only 18 or so minutes. Sasha took a beating but wouldn’t give up. Nia kept dumping her outside to make her expend energy to get back in. Sasha found small openings and used modified Bank Statements to take Nia down. Nia eventually tapped to lose at 28:19. I got what they were trying to do with this. Nia was the dominant monster and Sasha the conquering hero who fought from behind. However, even with 30 minutes, this felt rushed. None of the women besides Sasha and Nia got any sort of shine. Nia looked like a monster, only to end up looking weak by tapping out. Also, Nia’s shown improvement, but she’s not capable of going 30 minutes and clearly looked tired in the third part of this match. A strangely booked match that didn’t help anyone. [**]

Kurt Angle came out to congratulate Sasha. Alexa Bliss interrupted, getting a huge pop. She got in Sasha’s face and held the title up, but Sasha knocked her down and posed with the belt. That was kind of bitchy, no?

5.5

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

About what I’ve come to expect from Raw. Middling show that got some stuff right and misfired on others. I enjoyed the opening six man tag, the Goldust angle, some of the setup for Great Balls of Fire and especially the Joe/Brock angle. The main event was lackluster and the Ball family segment sucked something fierce.