Let a Hater Hate: The 411 Wrestling Choose-Your-Own-Column Special

INTRODUCTION

As a pro-wrestling fan who’s been around for a long time, I’ve seen the internet so fundamentally change the essence of what it’s like to be a fan that it’s almost impossible to have a unique opinion anymore. And yet, the internet is the biggest factor in determining what is cool and what is dumb, or what is okay to like and what you are supposed to hate. How can a world where there is so much personal expression lead to such a homogenized mainstream fan base?

When I was growing up in the 80s as a young, die-hard WWF fan, there was very little “smart” reaction to the show among kids or adults. So at the time I loved the interaction that came with watching pro-wrestling live. For example, when I was at the Closed Circuit showing of Wrestlemania 2 at Maple Leaf Gardens I heard someone in my section shout out their support for King Kong Bundy and hatred for Hulk Hogan. This opinion felt cool and subversive to a young Jake Chambers who had no idea what this angry fan was thinking other than his quick verbal utterances, and the shocked laughter from the fans seated in the vicinity.

This moment steered me towards a certain kind of wrestler in the future, the “heels”, as they say, if only because it seemed more interesting, made me think critically of the symbols I was being shown on the screen/stage, and in a certain way gave me a feeling of superiority over the other kids at school who blindly followed the crowd.

– Do you like the “heels” in wrestling? If so, go to Paragraph 8
– Do you appreciate the art-form of pro-wrestling and enjoy both “heels” and “faces”? If so, go to Paragraph 3

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John Cena & Roman Reigns totally suck. They can’t wrestle. Every time they have a great match, it’s only because they were carried by their opponent. Cena has a stupid, juvenile personality and gives the same promo every time. And now the WWE seems to want to make Reigns the same kind of star, with “baby girl” and “poopy pants” comments that are so unfunny. Everybody knows that the WWE would be so much better off if they just turned these two heel – maybe even as a heel team! The audience absolutely hates them already, so it only makes sense.

– How about Brock Lesnar, awesome right? Go to Paragraph 4
– But maybe there’s another way to look at Cena & Regins? Then go to Paragraph 10

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[sarcastic voice] Fine, I’m a troll. All I want is for you to click on the article. Ha ha. I win. Look, in all seriousness, I’m not trying to make anyone angry. Sometimes I think some people have a dumb opinion and that my ideas are just better. And so I want to hate what I want to hate, and if that means you are going to attack me with quick harsh insults then I invite you to STOP reading right now, scroll down to the Comments section and do just that. I’ll give it my best shot to return the favor with a similarly weak, insulting remark, and then you can get all angry at me all over again.

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Of course, it’s no longer possible to just be some kind of subversive fan of the bad guys. Wrestling, and pop culture fandom in general, has changed so much with the penetration of internet communication into our lives, or in many cases being born into this online universe. There are so many opinions about every wrestler from every angle, both intelligent and primal, that you are incapable of devising an opinion about wrestling that hasn’t already been articulated somewhere else. Being a fan is no longer about watching a couple of hours of pre-taped TV shows a week, reading Pro-Wrestling Illustrated in a convenience stores, making your own fantasy federation with action figures, and maybe attending a live event every couple of weeks. It’s now a constant competition to stay informed, watch more wrestling per week than there are waking hours, and subscribe to a fandom through-line of creative and business logic that all companies must follow (or tweak) to live up to a generic standard of expectation. Pro-wrestling is this accepted form of art now to most fans, an athletic soap opera that doesn’t require you to cheer for winners and losers, but instead chart successful careers, good business decisions, and debate the creative choices made by producers. In this kind of environment, is it possible to actually hate whatever wrestler you want to hate?

– Do you think it’s possible to just hate whoever you want? Go straight to Paragraph 12
– Or do you think that being a fan of pro-wrestling today involves a greater understand of environmental factors and creative decisions? Go to Paragraph 5

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You know who’s cool? Brock, Ambrose and the Bullet Club, or should I say, The Club. All of these guys had incredible careers before they came to WWE, or in Brock’s case, while he was on hiatus. Dean Ambrose is just a monster, the king of indy blood feuds, and has the most evil personality. The WWE doesn’t show him for the truly crazy bastard that he is, or the technical wizard he can be in the ring as well. Anderson and Gallows, when they were in the Bullet Club in New Japan they were just the most dominant tag team in that company for years. They headlined events over there and it was awesome. And, of course, Brock Lesnar is one of the greatest heavyweight UFC fighters of all time, and their biggest box office draw too. Maybe the WWE doesn’t know how to use these guys properly, but that doesn’t matter because they’re so badass, and I know it.

– This just can’t be right? Right? Then go to Paragraph 6
– Spot on, loving this stuff! Head over to Paragraph 13

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In a time when there is an almost infinite number of opinions available to read online, you can find a distinct voice that loves or hates specific wrestlers or wrestling federations quite easily, and all these micro-fan narratives swell up and disappear as quickly as they are produced. Strangely though, the mega-narrative that canons its way through mainstream fandom is as strong now as it was during the tightly controlled generations of the past. Whereas the WWE once was able to dictate your reactions, now they rely on this collective fan logic of mysterious origin to write the story of a wrestler’s career based on snap judgements, heresy, and Deflate-gate levels of passionate knee-jerk reactions that turn opinion into social media fact. Therefore, there are some wrestlers I hate but feel a certain sway of peer pressure from this collective invisible entity to keep these opinions to myself, or express them and be labelled a troll, or just get lost in the ether of dissension that gets overwhelmed by the strength of the macro fan narrative. Thus, for this column, I offer you a number of different paths to take in order to create the column experience you feel best matches to the kind of wrestling fan you may be, one who follows the crowd, one who thinks opposite, or maybe even one that floats in the middle.

– Do you think people who express their hate online are trolls? Go to Paragraph 17
– Do you want to have the typical online opinion on certain wrestlers reinforced? Then Paragraph 9 is for you!
– Ready to accept the hate? Go to Paragraph 12

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Brock Lesnar is the wrestler who we all have to appreciate because he’s the top “draw” in the WWE, he’s big money (supposedly) and we need to like him because he makes the WWE feel “special”. But I think it’s almost like an abusive relationship with Lesnar, if we don’t like and respect him then he’ll go away and take some sort of “legitimacy” in the WWE with him. So we have to put up with him and this fantasy that he makes money for the WWE even if this means enduring quick or boring main events, complete lack of back-and-forth wrestling, and taking up time on screen in storylines that have no story. He does everything completely opposite to a John Cena or a Miz, who can be counted on to provide epic matches and entertaining storylines – the “fake” aspects of pro-wrestling that we rely on – and instead Lesnar gives us main event squashes with A-level superstars that effectively expose wrestling as phony fighting (the best pro-wrestlers can’t compete with a “real” MMA fighter) and lame (you put up with all the build-up and end up with the same kind of quick or boring matches you might see in MMA).

– So is it really okay to hate whoever you want anymore? Find out at Paragraph 16
– Got that out of your system? Need a hug? Go to Paragraph 11

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This commonly accepted fan opinion that Dolph Ziggler and Cesaro are great, A-level performers who are just not given enough opportunity to show what they can do in the WWE is so silly. No matter how many opportunities Ziggler or Cesaro have actually gotten it doesn’t seem to matter, as this narrative persists regardless of title opportunities, long matches, TV time, main events, house show pushes or merchandising attempts that both of them get. The reality is, neither are really that capable of anything truly spectacular. They are good-to-great in-ring workers, arguably, but these are not guys who are going to be long-term main event-ing, company-carrying, WWE superstars. For whatever measurable you want to judge them buy, they’re just not that great. And in my personal opinion, they are both just super annoying characters. Ziggler whips that hair around like Billy Gunn, Cesaro comes out in those little trunks like a dude on a swim team, and both of them have that cocky, irritating smirk that you’d expect from a bus driver or guy dating a girl too young for him.

– Do you like John Cena & Roman Reigns? Then you better move onto Paragraph 10
– Too much hate? Want a little positivity? Go to Paragraph 9

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Today that random, faceless Bundy fan would be called a “troll”, someone just trying to get that shocked reaction from the people in the audience around him. I don’t believe that this was the intention of that fan I heard all those years ago, as there were many legitimate reasons for enjoying King Kong Bundy and disliking Hulk Hogan in 1986, but today you ARE a troll if you don’t like those wrestlers who are generally critically respected for their work. It has nothing to do with heel or babyfaces anymore, being a “troll” now is defined by someone expressing an opinion contrary to the critical narrative, such as how Dolph Ziggler would be WWE champion if they’d just give him a chance, or Brock Lesnar is the most important big money wrestler in the company. You can enjoy the heel work of Bray Wyatt, an evil character, but you can’t like the babyface work of R-Truth, a nice good guy, because this goes against the online world’s abstract criteria for excellence in the business of wrestling today.

– Do you want to hear who I hate? Then go to Paragraph 12
– Do you think I’m just being a “troll”? Then go to Paragraph 2

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If only the WWE would give Ziggler and Cesaro a chance. These guys are great in the ring. But the WWE keeps pulling the rug out from under them no matter how over they are with the audience. Sure, they may have some weaknesses, but what wrestler doesn’t, including those chosen to carry the ball like John Cena and Roman Reigns. But if the WWE would just let Cesaro or Ziggler get the Intercontinental Title for a good long reign, I think they could really make that title important again.

– Do you hate John Cena & Roman Reigns too? Go to Paragraph 1
– Do you want another opinion on Ziggler and Cesaro? Then go to Paragraph 7

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Of course it all comes back to John Cena, the wrestler who so polarized the “smark” fan base that he literally destroyed it, ensuing their endless wrath. Cena’s existence openly defies all the fan logic of how to “book” a pro-wrestling company at the WWE’s level by having this perceived horrible in-ring performer (despite constantly appearing on every year end best matches list) with this supposedly terrible personality, never turn into the “heel” that smarts would accept. John Cena was the one wrestler you’re allowed to openly hate just because you irrationally think he “sucks”, until Roman Reigns came along. Reigns was the ultimate fantasy booking symbol, the anti-Cena who every fan acknowledged had the “it” that WWE loves. And yet when the WWE actually made Reigns the star of the show, fans rebelled because he wasn’t “ready.” Although they knew he had “it” Reigns hadn’t paid some sort of arbitrary dues, and then this opportunity for the current fandom to finally prove their beliefs on how to successfully “book” the wrestling business was strangely wasted. This confusing fan mega-narrative continues to create “heels” out of stars, not because of their evil in-character actions but because what a majority of online fans actually, secretly, desire is a wrestler to hate who doesn’t conform to generic ideas of what will bring in the most profit and attention for a business (of which they have no investment of than emotional). I’m not down with this, I just want to hate someone who I think sucks as a performer, and I’m not buying that fans can legitimately justify why Cena or Reigns are supposed to suck.

– Are you ready to hear why I hate Dean Ambrose and The Club? Go to Paragraph 15
– Or would you rather just hate on Cena & Reigns? Then you better go to Paragraph 1

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Feels good, doesn’t it? To finally embrace that these overrated wrestlers actually do suck. I’m so glad we’ve been able to share this moment together. Even though we’d have our voices drowned out under normal circumstances, it was great to vent some frustrations with the illogical feelings of the fans and their insistence that these shitty wrestlers are cool. Maybe one day the WWE will give the fans what they really want. Otherwise, you know what? I’m gonna cancel my subscription. There are other alternatives out there, we don’t HAVE TO hate watch WWE, you know. We don’t have to do anything. Big hug!

END

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Here’s who I want to hate: I think the overrated Dolph Ziggler and Cesaro have had enough opportunities and just aren’t good enough, I refuse to buy that dull-ass Dean Ambrose and The Club had great careers pre-WWE, and I think do-nothing Brock Lesnar’s return to pro-wrestling ruined the WWE.

– Do you believe hating these wrestlers is justifiable? Then go to Paragraph 7
– Do you like these wrestlers and want this article to agree with you? Then go to Paragraph 9

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The WWE has it’s faults, but I love it still, I can’t stop watching. There are always some great parts of RAW, like I love the Cruiserweights, obviously, but it would have made more sense if they’d gone to Smackdown. Of course there’s Sasha Banks, the best wrestler in the world right now, regardless of gender, and don’t forget Bayley – oh, and Emma, she’s hot. I hate what they’re doing with Sami Zayn, but it’s part of his overall character development. And of course, Chris Jericho is doing the best work of his career right now. So yeah, it’s not all bad. Besides, the Network is just $9.99 (US), it’s worth it for NXT and now 205 Live anyways, who cares if Roman Reigns is challenging for the Universal Title now and they’re ruining Seth Rollins with a babyface run no one wanted. Call me crazy, but I really don’t hate anything right now.

END

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Despite you decisions, there is nothing you can do. Having your own unique opinion as a wrestling fan is as easy as actually trying to quit watching wrestling. In the end (of the day, the year, your life) the only person you’re going to legitimately hate for wasting all this time on wrestling is yourself.

END

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The Club of Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows, and Dean Ambrose, are wrestlers who have this fabled career outside the WWE that we are supposed to accept as being excellent. Of course, if you actually went through the effort of watching any of this old footage you’d be sorely disappointed (or possibly accurately disappointed), by the fact that Anderson and Gallows repeatedly stunk up ring in New Japan, and Dean Ambrose is not some gruesome “death match” performer with a Roddy Piper-level personality. And yet this reality is ignored due to the accepted fan narrative that perpetuates despite all evidence to the contrary. Because of this dominant theory, you’re kind of not allowed to hate Ambrose and The Club. You can be “disappointed” and believe Vince McMahon doesn’t know how to use them properly, but you can’t just dislike them for simply sucking. And then on the other hand you have a certain strain of wrestlers that the fandom has decided don’t deserve the fame they’ve achieved despite no fable indy reputation and only slight opportunities to show what they can do. We are just supposed to accept that wrestlers like Mojo Rawley, Baron Corbin or, especially, The Miz, are the ones that actually suck even though they seem way more impressive to me, and have to work like they’re motherfuckers ice-skating up a hill, so to speak.

– Do you want more hate? Go to Paragraph 6
– Had enough and ready to end it all? Go to up to Paragraph 14

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I’m not sure what I hate more, these wrestlers or the actual fan base? It’s because of them and their imagined narratives that Ziggler, Cesaro, The Club, Ambrose and Lesnar are in their current dominant positions. It’s self-defeating to think there is anything that one person can do about it. Certainly if it involved going to a live event and starting up a “hilarious” chant then I’m not interested. If the internet has done anything positive for the wrestling fan in me, it’s let me find a way to be a “heel”. I can go online and be the person who thinks outside of the box, who doesn’t follow the mega-narrative of fan logic, and have a venue to hate with such rational irrationality that my own sentences loop back on themselves online and put me in the box where I belong. Huh…what? Or great, I went through all that and I still have no idea what I’m talking about.

END

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I was going to outline some reasons for you as to why I hate Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro, Dean Ambrose, The Club and Brock Lesnar, but if you think it’s so over the line that someone would think these are shitty wrestlers, then I’m assuming you’re of the mind to be angry, call me a troll, and write some quick, snippy insult at the bottom of this page. So instead I’ve just gotten you to the bottom quicker, so feel free to insult away, and I’ll do my best to indulge you with a similarly weak, insulting remark.

END