wrestling / Columns

Ranking WWE’s Survivor Series Weekend Matches

November 24, 2016 | Posted by Rob Stewart
Goldberg WWE WCW Wrestling Credit: WWE

It snowed for the first time of the season this weekend for much of the country (my own hometown included). Not a lot, but enough to remind us that the season has changed to match the shortened days. Perhaps it is an early omen to a Thanksgiving season on an election year where I’m sure many of us will be uniting with family members who may well have not been on the same page as us the last few months. Were I more prone to generic flowery language, I might note that it became as cutting and bitter outside as it will be inside our homes this week (and I guess it turns out I am prone to that. Huh. That’s legitimately disappointing).

But to WWE’s credit, they mitigated the return of snow and the trepidation of contentious holidays by providing us with another long weekend of NXT and main roster live specials. The last such weekend—the weekend of SummerSlam 2016—saw a glut of highly entertaining matches, most notable among them, a dynamic duo of absolute gems in the form of AJ Styles vs John Cena and The Revival vs Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa. How did the fall season’s big weekend compare? Well that’s why I’m here: to look at all the matches we were treated to, break them down and rank them, and assess the current state of WWE’s brands. So let’s step away from the articles about political boycotts, close the blinds to the snow outside, and turn back the clock to the six hours or so of wrestling entertainment WWE just provided us.

11. Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg

I don’t understand this match. Just… on so many levels, this made no sense.

For starters… THIS is what Lesnar’s unstoppable position since ending The Streak was for? To get his teeth whitened by a retired dude in 2 minutes? Just compacted like garbage? Tin-canned? This is why the entire roster was made to look like children compared to him?

Secondly… was there some kind of bet? “Hey, we bet you can’t make a Lesnar/Goldberg match that’s worse than their WrestleMania 20 encounter!” “Oh, can’t we?!”. And then they booked this?

I am befuddled. I mean… even if Goldberg returns… to what end? Lesnar was humiliating people. What are they going to do faced with Goldberg, the guy to whom Lesnar was as nothing? Fall over dead when he charges up his energy near them like a Dragon Ball Z character?

RATING: * (I’ll give it credit for the sheer asinine spectacle of it all, I guess)

10. The Authors of Pain vs TM61 (The Finals to the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic)

This match wasn’t particularly bad; it just wasn’t memorable or noteworthy. On a Takeover: Toronto card that ended up being overly blessed with high-quality competition, the finals to the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic just felt like any other wrestling match. The spectacle of Paul Ellering dangling above the ring in a shark cage felt ludicrously out of place in an NXT match—it felt like something more appropriate to late-2000 WCW—and added little to the outing other than for commentary to continuously point out that the Authors of Pain kept looking upwards for guidance from their captive coach.

As I noted on the NXT Roundtable, a problem here is that this match precluded superior NXT talent from making the show, and nothing about this affair felt like it deserved to be included over Austin Aries or Ember Moon or No Way Jose or Roderick Strong. Paul Ellering dropped a chain into the ring. There was a scuffle over it. The Authors of Pain won anyway to take home the trophy. It was… it was… it just WAS. It certainly stuck out compared to the rest of Takeover: Toronto.

RATING: * 3/4

9. Team Raw (Bayley, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks, and Alicia Fox) vs Team Smackdown (Natalya, Alexa Bliss, Naomi, Carmella, and Becky Lynch)

This match was just sloppy. The women of WWE have been taking steps forward the last few months (Becky’s feud with Alexa has been positive; Charlotte and Sasha main eventing Hell In A Call in a very good match was important), but this match was a leap backwards, showing that, at their worst, the women of WWE are prone to botches, missed opportunities, and just some downright bad wrestling at times.

It wasn’t putrid or anything, but the first of the evening’s three traditional Survivor Series style matches was easily the worst, and the lows and botches outnumbered the stand-out spots. I’d dare say it didn’t even really get worthwhile until Becky’s attempt to pull out a win when she was by herself. It was a regression for the division overall.

RATING: **

8. THE Brian Kendrick vs Kalisto (WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match)

What a hard match to judge. Kalisto and Kendrick were having a pretty darn good match (for my money, the best Cruiserweight match WWE has put on since the Cruiserweight Classic), and then… that ending. What a nonsense ending with Baron Corbin getting involved. If he had come in and attacked Kalisto, that would have made sense; his beef was with Kalisto to begin with and that would lead to some mayhem as to whether or not the Cruiserweights moved to Smackdown Live via a DQ win where Kalisto didn’t grab the gold. Bur as it stands… it was just a crushing downer of an ending to a match that had been entertaining up until then. So do I crush the score based on the abysmal finish? Or prop it up because the road there was fun?

It makes the most sense to split the difference, but err on the negative side of things. That ending was almost inexcusably bad. No Kalisto/Corbin feud is going to be worth spoiling that contest when such an intriguing stipulation was hanging over it.

RATING: ** 1/4

7. Sami Zayn vs The Miz (Intercontinental Championship Match)

This match felt short. On a card that went to 10:30 EST, they couldn’t have thrown five more minutes this match’s way? I was expecting it to end at 11pm, so it wouldn’t have been a bother; it’s not like anyone would have looked at a clock at 10:40 and thought, “Damn that Intercontinental Title match!”

This was okay, but well under both men’s efforts. It just felt like it was over so quickly. The ending was a bit of a mess; I appreciate that Miz kept up his cheating ways and Maryse was in play, but with the mayhem of the bell situation, why would the referee jump right back in to count the pinfall on Zayn? It felt too contrived.

I wish the match had been longer, and I wish the ending—which was a fine idea, but came across poorly in execution—had played out differently (maybe with Zayn eating a Skull-Crushing Finale during the confusion rather than the ref hurrying to make a count in a disorienting moment) , but the match was acceptable in the meanwhile. It just… should have been better.

RATING: ** 3/4

6. Team Raw (Enzo & Cas, The Club, The Shining Stars, Sheamus & Cesaro, and The New Day) vs Team Smackdown (American Alpha, The Usos, Breezango, The Hype Bros, and Heath Slater & Rhyno)

This wasn’t as messy as the womens’ Survivor Series encounter, but it wasn’t up to the snuff of the last of the trio of elimination matches, either. It just fell between.

This match was always going to be somewhat problematic because of the size of the teams, but they made it work as best they could (even if the “best they could” meant that four men had to be kicked out within the opening minute… and that two of those four were one brand’s champions). The dynamics of everyone involved made this the Survivor Series match that was the most harmless fun. It wasn’t a chore to watch, but it didn’t feel “important”, either; it was just a breezy affair with some quick eliminations and decent exchanges.

It IS a shame that Raw won this, because their winning both the first two SS matches telegraphed that Smackdown was absolutely taking home the third. And it’s a shame that American Alpha went out mid-match (tell me that American Alpha vs Sheamus and Cesaro wouldn’t have been a better endgame than The Usos; you can’t do it). But overall, this was a low-stress blow-off match that you watch for fun to get you amped up for the more high-stakes events later on in the card. I approve.

RATING: *** 1/4

5. Shinsuke Nakamura vs Samoa Joe (NXT Championship Match)

It might be odd that I have this as the second match from Takeover: Toronto to appear on the list, but that does say a lot more about the rest of that show than it does about this. I just found nothing about this match—final result aside—that wildly differentiated it from their counter at Takeover: Brooklyn 2. Now, most likely that is because they don’t want to give too much away for the likely Rubber Match that should happen the night before the Royal Rumble, but it did ultimately lead to this match feeling like a bit of a placeholder in the meantime.

Despite the fact that the match didn’t feel as special as I thought it might, it was still a respectable contest. Both Joe and Shinsuke are extremely hard-hitting, and there were moments watching this match where you just wince in your seat because the impact pops off the screen. The ending was shocking, and it was a solid idea to just have Joe go berserk at the end and seek to destroy Nakamura with a low-blow and an attack on the steel stairs to regain the NXT Title. So the storytelling of Joe’s ever-increasing aggressiveness was good; the action in the match was effective. It just didn’t feel brand new between the two of them on this night.

RATING: *** 1/2

4. Asuka vs Mickie James (NXT Womens’ Championship Match)

First, how about that Mickie James? She showed back up on WWE programming like no time had passed at all since her last tenure half-a-dozen years ago. She was ready to go and came out with a grade A effort. If WWE is, in fact, leaving the door open for a full-fledged return for Mickie, I’d be thrilled to see her take it. If Toronto is indicative of the long haul, she’s got a lot left to give to the company, be it in NXT or on the main roster.

Not all the credit is due to Mickie, though, as Asuka predictably fulfilled her end of the bargain on Saturday night, too. She is completely ready to just grab a heel role and run away with it, and her matchwork remains beyond reproach. I had expressed some concern on the NXT roundtable in saying I hoped she and Mickie would be cohesive in-ring, and it turns out that there was absolutely nothing to doubt in that regard. They put on a show that seemed as though they could have done it in their sleep.

Almost everything was on-point in this one. Mickie had charm and an air of glee about her, but she wasn’t afraid to needle Asuka. The champ, meanwhile, was her typical buzzsaw self; she wrestles like a madwoman who finds her opponent’s best shots to be comically shocking, if little more than nuisances. If there was a notable negative in sight, it was in the abrupt finishing sequence that saw Mickie tap out to Asuka a bit quickly without much drama to the Asuka-Lock. The ride to the finish line was thrilling, but the climax just felt a bit deflating to me.

RATING: ****

3. Tye Dillinger vs Bobby Roode

Maybe I’m overrating this one—I haven’t seen many post-Takeover reviews that scored this bout as highly as I am about to—but I thought this was a fantastic contest. The live crowd might have my back on this one, though, because they were downright volcanic for these two.

Tye sold his intensity—a step sideways from his usually more affable, playful character—wonderfully. Roode played the part of the angry (but somewhat timid, faced with a foe he had wronged) heel equally as well. Everything between them was fluid as far as the action went, too. It was just a high-octane match that bubbled over with emotion and excitement.

It’ a shame Tye lost; I was really invested in this match from my eat at home, and that’s what a good contest is supposed to do. Maybe it wasn’t as flashy as some of the other matches this weekend, but it checked all the boxes for me.

RATING: **** 1/4

2. Team Raw (Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho, Braun Strowman, and Kevin Owens) vs Team Smackdown (Dean Ambrose, Shane McMahon, Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt, and AJ Styles)

Not that there was much doubt going in, but this was easily the best of the traditional Survivor Series matches on the titular live special. While there were aspects of this of which I was not a big fan (looking mainly at Shane McMahon’s overlong run and being booked to be far, far too credible in this match, up to and including his kicking out of the Codebreaker), most of it was damn entertaining.

Let’s see… we got an impressive, imposing, and impaling run for Braun Strowman that finally set him up as something more than “Guy Who Jobs Out Jobbers”. He’s now a real threat to the entire roster, and this one match established that perfectly. We also got comic relief James Ellsworth still finding a way to cost him his elimination (in a believable fashion). The commentary was ever awful in how they refused to let that moment stand on its own (you could pass out from a drinking game of just drinking every time the announcers brought up that the mascot cost the monster), but it was still smartly done.

Then the angles furthered from there were plenty. Dean vs AJ. Another mini-Shield reunion (hardly a brand new idea at this age, but still a fun pop). Jericho and Owens sowing the seeds of disunion. And, of course, Randy Orton winning the match by showing true loyalty to Bray Wyatt. This match was checking all of its boxes without feeling like it was running through the motions to do so. Thumbs up!

RATING: **** 1/2

1. The Revival vs #DIY (NXT Tag Team Championship Match)

I didn’t give these guys five stars for their Brooklyn match. I thought it was s stellar affair. I thought it was a fantastic throwback that told a great story and had some fast, dramatic action. But I just kept it a hair shy. Maybe it was because I thought Cena/Styles at SummerSlam proper was a touch superior; maybe I was just being a grouch. But at the time I just didn’t think it was a full fiver.

This weekend I atone for my sins. I think the rematch in Toronto was one of the most sensational matches I’ve seen. The storytelling was 100% on point in this one. And the two teams just belong in a ring together; even moreso than The Revival and American Alpha, and those two teams had beautiful chemistry. I would watch The Revival do battle with Gargano & Ciampa all day, every day.

The callbacks to the prior match (right down to Camp getting run into the ring post leading up to the [this time false-]finish were used at fitting times and not just spammed to leech off the crowd’s emotion. The swap of finishing moves leading to a false finish was breath-taking. Everything about this match was just swell. Without a doubt the match of the weekend, and on the short list for match of the year.

RATING: *****

OVERALL

Yeah, that’s four matches that I have exceeding four stars, so perhaps I was just ultimately in a good mood after all. A good weekend case of the wrestlin’ is apparently an effective counter to the grayness of late fall. To the surprise of no one, NXT Takeover: Toronto was the superior show of WWE’s weekend, but Survivor Series had its moments.

It also had that damn Lesnar/Goldberg match, though.

That was a curious thing.

Perhaps WWE just wanted to give us something to talk about this week with our families besides the election. We may not all share an ideology, but I’m sure we can all agree that match was just puzzling!