Raw History: Episode 144 and Reliving Nitro: Episode 21

Royal Rumble 1996 Results
Free 4 All: Duke Droese def. Hunter Hearst Helmsley to earn the #30 spot in the Rumble
Ahmed Johnson def. Jeff Jarrett via disqualification
The Smoking Gunns def. the Bodydonnas to retain the WWF Tag Team Titles
Goldust def. Razor Ramon to win the WWF Intercontinental Championship
Shawn Michaels won the 1996 Royal Rumble
The Undertaker def. Bret Hart via disqualification; Bret Hart retains WWF Championship

Raw History
Episode #144
January 22nd, 1996 | Civic Auditorium in Stockton, California

We’re live from Stockton, just one night removed from the Royal Rumble. The WWF is so edgy now that they need a “graphic nature” warning before it starts. We also get another short Sunny video of her telling us this, which she does while playing pool in a short skirt.

A Royal Rumble recap video is shown, with Vince and Lawler narrating it.

Savio Vega vs. Vader w/ Jim Cornette
Savio gets jobber treatment as he’s already in the ring. Cornette gives Vader his introduction and he just feels like a big deal. Though he’s the heel, Vader is instantly popular. He just beats the shit out of Savio. I’m talking SOUPBONES in the corner that would make Undertaker jealous. Vader does sell for a superkick but that’s about it. He wins in short order with a Vader Bomb.

Winner: Vader in 3:01
Pretty much what it needed to be. Vader is a monster and should be booked as so.

Not content with the win, Vader hits another slam and another Vader Bomb. Referees and even Cornette are unable to stop Vader. He pimp smacks the shit out of Jack Doane and powerbombs him. President Gorilla Monsoon comes into the ring and indefinitely suspends Vader! NOOOOO! Vader shoves Cornette and gets in Gorilla’s face. Gorilla AIN’T NEVER SCARED and gets right in Vader’s face, shouting at him. Cornette continues to fail to calm him down. Vader goes back after him so Gorilla lays into him with chops! IT’S GOING DOWN! Vader charges at Gorilla and splashes him from behind in the corner. He drags Gorilla to the corner and hits a Vader Bomb on the president! Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon rush out to save Gorilla and Vader heads off, but makes sure to yell at Vince before going away. Amazing angle to solidify Vader as a legit monster. It’s the first real instance of an authority figure getting attacked.

After a break, Vader is manhandling Jim Cornette. He shouts at the camera that he’s declaring war on every wrestler and employee of the WWF, including Vince.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Razor Ramon
THE KLIQ EXPLODES! Hunter is accompanies to the ring by a random bimbo. Before anything of note happens, 1-2-3 Kid and Ted Dibiase have an insert promo where they talk about Razor being a crybaby. They bring out a giant bottle and diaper too. Gee, I wonder what that will lead to. Razor is in control until a break where Hunter pulls the top rope down and Razor spills outside. He seems to spend the entire break out there. When Hunter is on offense, the match it rough since he’s so generic at this point. Lawler stops to get an interview with Hunter’s valet, Shae, but you can barely hear it. With Razor down on the apron, 1-2-3 Kid shows up with that big bottle and seems to feed Razor. It almost backfires as Razor gets fired up and takes down Hunter. He leaves to chase the Kid and gets counted out.

Winner via countout: Hunter Hearst Helmsley in 5:58
Pretty much the most basic of matches. Razor started hot and Hunter got the dull heat until the Kid run in. *

Upset that he has lost again, Razor tries to hit the Razor’s Edge, but Hunter slips free and escapes.

Vince informs us that we’re about to see the final Billionaire Ted’s War Room segment and it’s for “comedic purposes”. The gist of this one is that WCW can’t come up with their own original ideas.

Vince McMahon, barely able to hide his raging erection, introduces Shawn Michaels, who won the Royal Rumble last night. Shawn says that he and the Kliq have something to handle before WrestleMania and that’s Owen Hart. Despite him badmouthing Owen, when Jim Cornette shows up, Vince is somehow appalled. Cornette says that he signs Owen’s contracts and Vince, with Shawn’s arm around him, hypes HBK eliminating Yokozuna and Vader at the same time. Cornette declines a match because Shawn has nothing they want and Owen will forever be known as the guy that took out Owen. Shawn offers money but Jim declines. Shawn says that he’ll do anything for a shot at Owen, giving Jim an idea. Jim wants the WrestleMania title shot. Shawn accepts and tosses Cornette over the top rope.

NEXT WEEK ~ SUPER MONDAY! Diesel takes on British Bulldog, while Shawn Michaels goes one on one with Yokozuna!

Champion vs. Champion
WWF Champion Bret Hart vs. WWF Intercontinental Champion Goldust w/ Marlena
Commentary officially announces that the near two year rivalry between Bret Hart and Diesel will culminate in a Steel Cage match at the upcoming In Your House Pay-Per-View. Right at the start, they go to break. Goldust pounds away on Bret and works the arm a bit. Bret sends Goldust outside for a commercial break. He does it again when we return and Marlena tries to help him leave. Razor Ramon appears in the aisle and delivers a right hand. He rolls Goldust inside and somehow, none of this is a disqualification. Oh, another commercial. Returning, Bret is in the midst of the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM. Sharpshooter applied and that’s all.

Winner: Bret Hart in 5:42
What the hell happened here? Was there a reason for this to get cut by three commercial breaks? Also, it was strange to book your new, unbeaten IC Champion to lose one night after winning the belt. Heavily disappointing. I don’t even feel right rating it since a vast majority was cut off by breaks.

Vince McMahon enters to interview Bret about the match with Diesel. Bret says that’s had it up to here (holds hand way high) with Diesel and is ready for the match. He also addresses Undertaker and promises that he will get a rematch. I don’t believe that ever happens. Bret ends by saying that he’s deadly in a cage.

Reliving Nitro
Episode #21
January 22nd, 1996 | Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada

Nitro’s intro > Raw’s intro at this time. During the introduction from commentary, Konnan appears and cuts a promo. He introduces himself as the Mexican Heavyweight Champion and promises to beat Psychosis at Clash of the Champions.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Ric Flair (c) w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Randy Savage w/ A big group of women
Savage comes out pimping. Included in the group of women that show up are Woman, freshly returned from ECW, Debra McMichael and Linda fucking Hogan. Speaking of Hogan, Hulk shows up and wishes him good luck as well as asks for the first title shot. Bischoff spoils the “secret weapon” of Savage and Hogan for the Clash and its Miss Elizabeth. They also announce that the Road Warriors will reunite. Early on, Flair knocks Savage outside as they do some basic stuff. He also throws him over the rail before a break. When the show comes back, Savage is laying into Flair. We get the classic Flair corner bump to the outside too. They trade blows inside until Flair hits the shin breaker and its Figure Four time. Flair gets caught cheating of course, and Savage is free. Arn Anderson shows up with brass knuckles, but here comes Hogan. The bell rings for no reason as the match is still going. Dammit, WCW, someone tell the timekeeper the finish. Savage hits the big elbow and we’ve got a new champion!

Winner and New WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Savage in 8:03
Decent match here. Not their best work clearly, but good enough. It also has a historic appeal in that it was the first time a World Title changed hands on either Raw or Nitro. **¼

Hulk Hogan celebrates with Randy Savage, who instantly gets on the mic and tells him not to embarrass himself. Hogan didn’t win the belt, he did. They go back and forth until Savage agrees to give him a shot and he wants to do it in Vegas.

Brian Pillman vs. Dean Malenko
I feel like Pillman’s time with the company is coming up soon. Malenko tries for the Cloverleaf early but Pillman escapes to the outside. Pillman gets cocky and jaws at Malenko when he gets in the driver’s seat. Malenko comes back with a Brainbuster and Pillman looks out cold. However, he comes back himself with a tornado DDT. Pillman continues to taunt and play the overconfident role. He goes up top instead of for the cover and it costs him. Malenko takes him down in interesting fashion right into a submission, but Pillman grabs the ropes. They fight on the apron and Malenko gets knocked down. His foot gets caught in the ropes and Pillman just pins him for the win.

Winner: Brian Pillman in 6:21
I thought that was going pretty well up until the finish. That was so abrupt and dumb. It had potential to be really good. Instead, it has to settle for alright at best. **½

WCW World Tag Team Championship
Harlem Heat (c) vs. Lex Luger and Sting
Can Sting and Luger co-exist enough to win gold? Ray and Luger starts, which is a terrible idea. They do some uninteresting stuff until Sting ends up as the guy taking the heat. That’s smart since he’s a great sympathetic babyface, while Luger is best in the hot tag role. Lots of “let’s go Sting” chants as Stevie Ray wears him down. He takes a double flapjack and it isn’t looking good for the Stinger. They do the false hot tag spot right as Jimmy Hart shows up. He hands Luger a foreign object and runs off. Hot tag to Luger who lays out Stevie with a roll of silver dollars and we’ve got new champions.

Winners and New WCW World Tag Team Champions: Lex Luger and Sting in 9:35
About what you’d expect from these two teams. Really basic stuff. The title change was cool and the fact that it came via dirty tactics adds to the storyline. **¼

Sting celebrates, but is confused about the match ending to quickly after the tag.

Hulk Hogan vs. WCW United States Champion One Man Gang
Seriously Hogan? He just has to go on last despite their being two major title changes. Hogan no sells everything One Man Gang does. Seriously, why is he US Champion? Does anyone still care about him? It really feels like Hogan’s goal is to allow OMG to get as little in as possible. He does hit a body slam and a splash, but Hogan Hulks up to a mixture of cheers and boos. You could tell that Hulkamania was dying. You know what comes next. Big boot, leg drop, that’s a wrap.

Winner: Hulk Hogan in 3:02
Why is this the main event? Typical Hogan garbage. ¼*

The Four Horsemen and the Dungeon of Doom come out to attack Hogan. Randy Savage comes to his aid. It’s hilarious to watch Savage and Hogan lay waste to these guys like they’re nothing. The Zodiac holds Giant back, while Pillman encourages him to go. I’m thinking we get yet another Brutus Beefcake gimmick soon. Hogan and Savage cut a promo to end the show, hyping their “secret weapons” for Clash of the Champions, Kevin Greene and Miss Elizabeth. Uh, Hogan…if you tell everyone, it isn’t a secret.

Raw Rating: 2.9
Nitro Rating: 2.7

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

Raw: Judging by the first half of this show alone, we were in for a treat. Sure the Vader/Vega match wasn’t anything really, but the angle was awesome and felt like something special. Then the show kind of fell off of the cliff. They did advance some angles and set up the next PPV, so kudos there, but the final two matches were severely lacking. 6.0

Nitro: While this show didn’t have any standout matches, everything before the main event flowed nicely and proved to be enjoyable. We got two big time title changes that really made the show feel like a big deal. If it wasn’t for the terrible final few minutes, this would have been one of the better episodes so far. 6.0