Raw History: Episodes 28-30

Raw History
Episode #28
August 2nd, 1993 | Castle Recreation Center in New York | Attendance: 1,000

This show was pre-recorded on July 25th. Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are doing things on commentary since Macho Man is in action later. Macho Man promises a little surprise later tonight. I wonder if he told the same thing to Elizabeth and Gorgeous George.

Non-Title Match
WWF Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers vs. Barry Horowitz and Duane Gill
Interesting to note that within a few years, both Horowitz and Gill would get slight pushes, while the Steiners would return to WCW until its dying days. Scott has been excellent at killing jobbers and he hits a big belly to belly on Barry before a pump handle slam on the future Gillberg. Frankensteiner connects to end this.

Winners: WWF Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers in 2:45
I prefer when the Steiner Brothers demolish jobbers, but this was still fine. *½

Footage of the sit-down interview with Lex Luger is shown. He talks about himself and his past. Unfortunately, Lex Luger is a pretty boring guy, making this a pretty boring segment.

Adam Bomb w/ Johnny Polo vs. Tony Roy
As Adam Bomb walks out, commentary discusses the contract signing next week for the epic Luger/Yokozuna SummerSlam match. Heenan suggests it will end in a melee which shocks Vince McMahon. If he only knew how every contract signing over the next 20 years would end. Vince changes to discuss an upcoming movie on the USA Network. Adam Bomb manhandles Roy throughout and wins with the powerbomb.

Winner: Adam Bomb in 2:18
I will still never understand why Adam Bomb didn’t get a better push in 1993. In a company that that was needing big looking guys post steroid scandal, Bomb fit the mold and could actually work. *¼

We get promotion for a “HUGE” match next week. It’s Tatanka vs. Mr. Hughes. Oh my god, that is going to suck something fierce.

Doink the Clown vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Macho Man is in full one patriotic gear as if he was the one riding the Lex Express. That sounded wrong. Savage wisely checks under the ring for other Doinks. Doink quickly goes to the eyes, so Savage tries to get a chair so show how pissed he is, but the referee stops him. Doink goes to a Boston Crab but Savage gets free. As Doink goes after the leg, Vince says he’s targeting the weakened back. It’s like he doesn’t even watch the matches. Savage starts to rally and knocks Doink outside and we go to commercial. Poor timing for sure. Returning, Doink has Savage in an interesting neck submission. Moving from that, Doink gets two on a nice belly to belly. He goes for the Whoopee Cushion but Savage moves out of the way. He throws Savage outside, and Randy goes under the ring. Doink expects Savage to sneak out the other side, but it’s a midget Macho Man instead. Doink, perfectly in character, finds this hilarious. That’s Savage’s “little surprise”. The real Macho Man gets back in the ring and wins with an inside cradle.

Winner: Macho Man Randy Savage in 11:22
Fun little match here. Not the best from either guy, but Savage wasn’t given the chance to work enough during this era. The midget was a fun spot here before it became tired and terrible during the Dink run. ***

ICOPRO. YOU’VE GOTTA WANT IT!

Time for the SummerSlam Report, led by Mean Gene. Newly added to the card is Shawn Michaels defending the Intercontinental Title against Mr. Perfect. This has been brewing since WrestleMania IX and was billed as the “Greatest Intercontinental Title Match”. It didn’t quite turn out that way.

Ted Dibiase joins us via telephone and he’s not happy. Vince McMahon shows footage from Wrestling Challenge, where the 1-2-3 Kid bested Dibiase thanks to a distraction from Razor Ramon. The crowd popped hard for another upset from the Kid. The Kliq pulls a fast one.

In a completely shocking moment, Jim Cornette walks down to the ring to make his WWF debut! Bobby Heenan loves this and nearly falls over going to give him love. Heenan puts over Cornette as the greatest manager in wrestling, to which Cornette says that’s only because Heenan retired. It’s so strange to hear Vince McMahon discuss another promotion on air, as he mentions Smokey Mountain Wrestling. He puts over SMW and his tag team, the Heavenly Bodies, who want to challenge the Steiner Brothers. Great promo and it’s good to see Cornette because the man could flat out talk. He goes and joins commentary.

Mr. Perfect vs. Barry Hardy
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but Barry Hardy’s blonde mullet is out there. He actually takes down Perfect and tries the gum spit and swat. He whiffs because he’s not Mr. Perfect. The rest of the match is just Perfect getting in his offense, and he strangely removes some of Hardy’s attire. Maybe he’s still bitter about Bret Hart doing it to him at SummerSlam 1991.

Winner: Mr. Perfect in 2:39
Completely basic squash, but Mr. Perfect doing one is more enjoyable than someone normal. *¼

Raw History
Episode #29
August 9th, 1993 | Castle Recreation Center | Attendance: 1000

Another show taped back in July here as Macho Man returns to commentary. Also, tonight will feature the contract signing for the Lex Luger/Yokozuna WWF Title match at SummerSlam.

Mr. Hughes w/ Harvey Wippleman vs. Tatanka
This is the big match that Vince McMahon hyped last week. If this is the best we get tonight, then this is going to be a dire Raw. Tatanka has gotten more TV time than anyone in 1993. Hughes immediately doesn’t do his part of a leap frog spot right. Mind you, his part was simply to duck under Tatanka, but he can’t even do that right and he headbutts the Naïve American. Tatanka gets two on a cross body before Hughes goes back on the offensive. After a commercial break, Hughes has a nice vice applied because his offense blows. Tatanka starts to “Hulk Up” and fires away with chops, knocking off Hughes’ shades. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his eyes. His rally ends when Hughes sends him outside and he is sweating like Shaq at the foul line. They fight outside and Tatanka hits a back body drop to win via countout.

Winner via countout: Tatanka in 4:57
I expected this to be beyond awful but it was actually watchable. Granted it wasn’t good but it exceeded my very low expectations. *

After the match, Harvey Wippleman gets in Tatanka’s face, allowing Mr. Hughes to nail him with the urn.

ICOPRO. YOU’VE GOTTA WANT IT!

We go to yet another video package of the interview with Lex Luger about his life before wrestling. Again, the problem is that his life was dull and he’s a dull interview. Vince McMahon needed to understand that his top babyface had to be likable and Luger has a face you just want to punch.

Blake Beverly, The Brooklyn Brawler and Little Louie vs. The Bushwackers and the Macho Midget
Okay, why the hell were the Bushwackers still employed at this point? The Macho Midget spends the first few seconds breakdancing. They do the expected stuff in midget matches, with the Macho Midget doing fun stuff. He and Little Louie do the crisscross spot, with Macho outsmarting him. This continues down a basic path until the Macho Midget splashes Brawler and pins him. Yes, Brawler did the job here and not Little Louie.

Winners: The Bushwackers and the Macho Midget in 6:28
This went a bit too long, but at least the midgets were entertaining. The crowd was hot too. *

The ring is set up for the contract signing for the WWF Championship match at SummerSlam. Vince McMahon is hosting and is appalled to see that Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji hired Jim Cornette to be their official spokesperson. This was a stroke of brilliance because Yokozuna wasn’t good on the microphone and you couldn’t understand anything Fuji said. For some reason, there are a ton of nonsense men in suits in the ring, along with President Jack Tunney, Macho Man and Bobby Heenan. Lex Luger arrives as Heenan is back on commentary. Both men sign the contract. Cornette mentions the clause which states that Luger only gets this one shot. Umm, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t Luger’s only title shot. Luger says that’s fine and cuts a sickening patriotic promo. It’s seriously too much. This was before the time of contract signings always ending in a brawl.

Razor Ramon vs. Dan Dubiel
Razor Ramon is one of the first examples of a cool heel being so popular that he was turned face. The fans are already big on the guy. Bobby Heenan informs us that Razor will face Ted Dibiase at SummerSlam. Razor has strange red, white and blue wristbands on. Maybe he got them from the Lex Express. After a sick looking top rope back suplex, the Razor’s Edge finishes this.

Winner: Razor Ramon in 2:12
Entertaining for a squash. Razor nearly killed Dan with the back suplex and kept this short. *¼

SummerSlam Report: It’s so strange to know that SummerSlam was set for a Monday instead of a Sunday. He doesn’t give us any real news that we didn’t already know.

The Heavenly Bodies vs. Bobby Who and Mike Bucci
Mike Bucci, for those unaware, would go on to become Nova in ECW and Simon Dean in the WWE. Considering Jim Cornette laid down a challenge to the Steiner Brothers last week, the Heavenly Bodies need to impress. They do just that with some nice double team moves including a superkick into a DDT. Their nice flurry ends with a moonsault from Jimmy Del Rey to win.

Winners: The Heavenly Bodies in 2:37
The best part of the show so far. The Heavenly Bodies were a pretty good team and got to showcase their stuff here. **¼

Next week is a special interview with the Giant Gonzalez. I can hardly wait. Plus, Ludvig Borga will be around, while IRS and Men on a Mission are both in separate action. Man this sounds putrid.

Raw History
Episode #30
August 23rd, 1993 | Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York | Attendance: 3000

Even though SummerSlam is two weeks away, this is the go home show as the following Monday, there was no Raw due to the “SummerSlam Special” or whatever. Then, the Monday after that was the actual SummerSlam so there’s not another Raw until September. We are live tonight.

The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Ted Dibiase
Two weeks prior, on Superstars, the 1-2-3 Kid bested Ted Dibiase due to a distraction from Razor Ramon. Side note, this is Dibiase’s last ever match on Raw. The Poughkeepsie crowd is hot as always. According to Bobby Heenan, the Kid’s bedtime is 9:30 so he has to finish this match quickly. Razor Ramon calls in mid-match. I wonder if he had to pay those ridiculous hotline fees like fans did. Dibiase beats down on the Kid and he ends up staying outside for too long. Kid comes back with a sloppy head scissors before some dropkicks get him a near fall. He gets another with a cross body and attempts another but the always boring IRS shoves him off to cause the disqualification.

Winner via disqualification: The 1-2-3 Kid in 4:46
Decent enough, but disappointing overall. The Kid can be more entertaining but this was rather lackluster. **

As Money Inc. continue the beating, the Steiner Brothers appear to make the save. Now, they’re feuding with the Heavenly Bodies and set to face them at SummerSlam. Instead, we are building to the Steiners/Money Inc. match for the SummerSlam Spectacular next week. I feel like you should promote the show that people pay for over the free one.

The Headshrinkers w/ Afa vs. Mike Khoury and Dave Moraldo
One of these jobbers is sporting the pornstar mustache. Along with the Steiner Brothers, the Headshrinkers are very enjoyable when it comes to jobber killing. I think PJ Walker is still dead from a few weeks ago. Samu hits a savat kick on the pornstar and kills him. He’s literally out on the apron like Walker the other night. He brings the other guy in the hard way and they do a double flapjack on him. They follow with an assisted EDDIT GILBERT hot shot. Afa screams into the camera and tells Demolition that they are coming for the titles. What year is he in? A splash ends this as our resident pornstar hasn’t moved in minutes. He may really be dead.

Winner: The Headshrinkers in 3:08
I love me a good old fashioned jobber mauling. This was just that, which kept it entertaining enough. **

SummerSlam Report: Our newest updates to the card feature the Steiner Brothers defending the Tag Team Titles against the Heavenly Bodies and Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty. The fact that Jannetty and Doink had the match of the year a few months back and are not booked heavily at SummerSlam. Also, the Undertaker still hasn’t announced the rules of the Rest in Peace match. Sounds like he has an advantage doesn’t it?

Bastion Booger vs. Marty Jannetty
At the bell, we are told that the Lex Express is in Denver, Colorado. I have no clue why though since the rest of the company is in New York and the PPV is in Detroit. Marty has trouble with the size of his opponent though he does nail a hip toss. As he dropkicks Booger, the fatass can’t even sell right as he blatantly tries to leap over the top and it’s so slow. He gets stuck in the ropes even. Marty follows with a cross body to a pop. This lasts through a commercial break for some godforsaken reason. Booger gets in his basic offense now. He sits on Marty, who reverses into a sunset flip and earn the three. It’s a gross spot.

Winner: Marty Jannetty in 4:46
I don’t understand why this nearly got five minutes. That being said, it was about as good as one could expect from a Bastion Booger match. *

Vince McMahon is in the ring to interview Money Inc. Good lord, do I have to see IRS again? He calls the fans tax cheats. Surprised? It’s literally all he’s got. They promote the SummerSlam Spectacular. That’s it. IRS even stumbles over his words.

Men on a Mission vs. Barry Horowitz and Iron Mike Sharpe
Vince McMahon asks “WHOA WHERE AM I?” simply because the camera goes upside down during MOM’s entrance. So, how rare is it that the jobber tag team is FAR superior to the team squashing them? That’s the case here. Mo is quite possibly the worst wrestler in history. Sharpe’s incredibly loud selling is the best part of the match.

Winners: Men on a Mission in 2:08
Men on a Mission sucked. I have to watch these clowns for a while. One of the worst tag teams in history. ¼*

Who is Lex Luger? The interview continues. He denies using steroids now but admits to using them in the past, before it was illegal. While these Luger segments suck, this was the best. It’s kind of crazy to hear steroid talk in the WWE.

Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Luna Vachon vs. Rich Myers
The fact that Luna was introduced as Bigelow’s “main squeeze” was kind of cool. This is, rightfully so, all Bigelow. He hits a splash in the corner. Commentary spends the entire match debating Luna being attractive. Bobby Heenan loves her while Vince seems repulsed. Also, Macho Man continues to promote this “surprise” that he has set. He mentioned it multiple times on the show so far. This ends with a headbutt.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow in 3:12
Completely one sided, but Bigelow falls into the category of people I don’t mind watching in squashes. *¼

Macho Man’s big surprise turns out to be the Macho Midget appearing with the Raw girls. Talk about a letdown.

4.7

The final score: review Poor

The 411

Ep. 28: A definite swing in the right direction for this show. Doink vs. Savage was a good match and the squash matches were all fine. The Steiner Brothers, Mr. Perfect and Adam Bomb were all acts that I enjoyed during the time, so that was okay. Jim Cornette’s debut also gets a thumbs up from me. (6.0) Ep. 29: Nothing on this show was offensive, which helped but it still wasn’t great. The marquee match between Tatanka and Mr. Hughes was better than expected, but still not very good. The contract signing was fine but a bit overdone on the patriotism, while the Heavenly Bodies stole the show. (4.0) Ep. 30: So, last week we had a bunch of stuff advertised that didn’t happen. Granted, I’m okay with no Ludvig Borga, Giant Gonzalez and an IRS match but still. What we did get was inoffensive for the most part. Nothing was terrible and the near murder by the Headshrinkers stole the show. (4.0)