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Reviewing The Rumbles: 2001
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2001: The Perfection
The 1999 and 2000 Royal Rumbles really left a bad taste in my mouth, and at this point, WWF was all-but the official victor of the Monday Night Wars. With little to challenge them to try harder, how would this one turn out?
The Participants
1. Jeff Hardy
2. Bull Buchanan
3. Matt Hardy
4. Farooq
5. Drew Carey (Excuse me… WWE HALL OF FAMER, Drew Carey!)
6. Kane
7. Raven
8. Al Snow
9. Perry Saturn
10. Steve Blackman (Heavens, this guy had a much longer career than I would have bet if you’d asked me. This is his FOURTH Rumble)
11. Grandmaster Sexay
12. The Honky Tonk Man
13. The Rock
14. The Goodfather (I always got a kick out of that name change)
15. Tazz
16. Bradshaw
17. Albert
18. Hardcore Holly
19. K-Kwik (what a silly name, young R-Truth)
20. Val Venis
21. William Regal
22. Test
23. The Big Show
24. Crash Holly
25. The Undertaker (BikerTaker era)
26. Scotty 2 Hotty
27. Stone Cold Steve Austin
28. Billy Gunn
29. Haku (Haha, what? I had no idea he was in this or even around at this point [to be fair, I’m not oblivious; I was not watching at this time because I was in college without cable])
30. Rikishi (during his DESTRUCTIVELY poorly-planned heel turn)
The Final Four
4th – Billy Gunn (eliminated by Austin)
3rd – The Rock (eliminated by Kane)
2nd – Kane (eliminated by Austin)
WINNER – Ice Dagger Stone Cold Steve Austin
Notes/Thoughts
-The pre-Rumble video hype tells the stories of Rikishi, Kane, Undertaker, The Rock, and Austin. Good multi-tier storytelling that makes it seem like anyone (well… probably not Steve Blackman) could win. So much better than most years that focus on one or two guys and just mail in who is going to be standing tall.
-Back to two minute intervals!
-Good opening commentary, with Lawler playing at being legitimately concerned that Jeff Hardy’s dancing is a seizure fit. God, what happened to the King? He used to occasionally border on Heenan level greatness.
-Matt joins Jeff at #3, and they make obviously short work of Bull Bucanan. They then get into having themselves a nice little match. It’s always good to see the “tag team partners fight because it’s every man for himself!” angle, but still… it IS utter nonsense when they could just chill out and wait on guys to eliminate together. Ah well, they start working together when Farooq appears, but afterwards are right back at each other, with more brutality the second go-round.
-By the time Drew Carey enters the ring, the Hardyz eliminate each other while brawling on the turnbuckles. This, of course, leads to one of the most memorable moments in this (or any) Rumble, as KANE shows up next with Carey alone in the ring. Drew amusingly can not keep a straight face and can’t wipe the grin off his mug. He offers a few bucks to Kane in a genuinely great laughspot, but Kane is unmoved. A chokeslam is teased, but Raven’s intro thwarts it. Finally, moment fulfilled, Drew Carey hops over the top to save himself.
-Al Snow does Raven a solid (more or less) by jumping his number by a good half of a minute and at least make sure Raven isn’t alone with Kane (even though Snow attacks Raven… I HAVE to assume that is better than Kane). Raven and Snow proceed to fill the ring with various weapons that they then use to go to work on Kane.
-This starts the “hardcore” segment of the Rumble, with guys like Saturn and Blackman popping in, too. It’s stupidly entertaining, and very well done. It allows Kane to look strong for tanking all these weapons and assaults, but it also lets the other guys he is in there with look great, too, for bumping him all around.
-After Grandmaster Sexay comes out, Kane finally just explodes and kicks everyone’s ass and cleans the ring. His elimination of Steve Blackman is gold, as Blackman attempts to skin the cat on Kane’s first attempt… only for Kane to crack him in the face with a garbage can lid.
-More brilliance ensues as HONKY TONK MAN is up next. He is entirely unfazed by Kane, and tells him to go away so Honky can sing his entrance music with the crowd. Kane gives him a bar or two, then smashes Honky’s own guitar over the head of the Greatest IC Champ Of All Time. Kane’s subsequent disdainful head shake is a nice touch.
-Rock is up next, and he and Kane have a good little segment against each other.
-I’m not sure if the Network was fritzy or what, but something goes wrong with the feed after Tazz debuts… it’s hard to explain, but the same bit of the match happens twice–once without commentary audible–blacks out, and rewinds a bit. I tried watching this part a few times, and it happened every go ’round. I have no idea what that was about…
-Bradshaw is in at #16, and, as usual, he gets a vastly superior Rumble showing than Farooq.
-Val Venis is in, and it’s amusing how much even the heel-supportive Lawler hated the RTC.
-The ring has filled up with guys by the time The Big Show enters at #23 (in the 20’s as always, Show?). He makes short-work of K-Truth and Test, and tears through everyone else like a hurricane. He is promptly eliminated by Rocky, though, leading to Show pulling Rock out and choke-slamming him through the announce table.
-Was BikerTaker’s music really Limp Bizkit? God, BikerTaker. The one thing about this era I’m glad to have missed. I actually thought Limp Bizkit was over by 2001, too.
-Anyway, Taker and Kane work in harmony to scrub the ring (with Rock still legal but debilitated outside). Next up: Scotty 2 Hotty looking appropriately unthrilled with his life right now. No dancing for Scotty.
-Rock manages his way back in the ring and puts on a showing against Kane and Taker. Meanwhile, up the ramp, Austin gets jumped by HHH on the former’s entrance to the match. It’s a great moment, with action in and out of the ring, and the camera flipping back and forth trying to show as much of it as possible.
-Austin is battered and bloody from HHH’s attack, but when Rikishi comes out and tries to do some more damage, Steve springs to life and starts kicking his ass.
-In what is… honestly just an odd spot, Rikishi eliminates Undertaker entirely thanks to Islanders Have Immortal Heads. Undertaker tries to headbutt ‘Kish, but succeeds only in hurting and stunning himself. Rikishi then superkicks him out of the match. Just not a way I’d expect Taker to go out.
-Billy Gunn is negligible, so let’s talk about the Final Three: It is GENIUS storytelling. Kane’s been in the ring almost an hour; Rock was put through a table by Show; Austin was bloodied by HHH. They ALL have vulnerabilities, and they are all laying it all out there. They’ve all had stellar showings, Kane has set a record that will last 13 years by eliminating 11 men, and Austin eventually pulls it out.
-Keep in mind, this was part of a stretch that saw WWE put out THIS Rumble, No Way Out 2001, and Wrestlemania X-Seven. That’s just an inconceivably great stretch of Pay Per Views. That’s like “Off The Wall”-“Thriller”-“Bad” level of consecutive greatness.
Rankings
1. 2001 (Austin III) – 10/10
2. 1992 (Flair) – 9/10
3. 1998 (Austin II) – 8/10
4. 1997 (Austin I) – 8/10
5. 1989 (Studd) – 5/10
6. 1999 (McMahon) 5/10
7. 1996 (Michaels II) – 5/10
8. 1993 (Yokozuna) – 4/10
9. 1990 (Hogan I) – 4/10
10. 1994 (Hart/Luger) – 4/10
11. 1991 (Hogan II) – 3/10
12. 2000 (The Rock) – 3/10
13. 1995 (Michaels I) – 2/10
14. 1988 (Duggan) – 2/10
