Reviewing The Rumbles: 2002

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2002: The Degenerate

In the wake of (arguably, but again… my article) the best Rumble ever, WWF put on the 2002 Rumble…

The Participants

1. Rikishi (back to being a face, but nowhere near as over as he previously was)
2. Goldust (apparently this was Goldust’s return after a lengthy absence. Could the Booker T team-up be far off?)
3. Big Bossman
4. Bradshaw
5. Lance Storm
6. Al Snow
7. Billy
8. The Undertaker
9. Matt Hardy
10. Jeff Hardy
11. Maven
12. Scotty 2 Hotty
13. Christian (I admittedly forgot how awesome Christian’s music was during his initial solo run)
14. Diamond Dallas Page
15. Chuck
16. The Godfather
17. Albert
18. Perry Saturn
19. Stone Cold Steve Austin
20. Val Venis (interlude as a prude over, it was back to being a porn star for Val)
21. Test
22. Triple H
23. The Hurricane
24. Farooq
25. Mr. Perfect
26. Kurt Angle
27. The Big Show
28. Kane
29. Rob Van Dam
30. Booker T

Final Four

4th – Steve Austin (eliminated by Kurt Angle)
3rd – Mr. Perfect (eliminated by Triple H)
2nd – Kurt Angle
WINNER – Triple H

Notes/Thoughts

-Apropos of nothing, I spent far too much time humming Bobby’s Roode’s NXT theme while watching this one. It put me in a good mood, so if I’m too generous on this one… that’s why.

-The Pre-match video is almost entirely based around Trips’ recent return from injury. There are some touches on Austin and The Undertaker, as well, but it’s incredibly apparent from the start whose year it was. These kinds of Rumbles are always a bit lessened just because there is such a lack of any real drama. Maybe Good Guy Triple H wanted to spare any other superstar from having to follow Rock/Hogan at ‘Mania?

-Ugh. Austin had started “WHAT?”-ing by this point. Who would have thought this would still occasionally plague us for years and years to come.

-It’s almost sad to see the sharp decline of Rikishi’s career, as the fans don’t care about him AT ALL at this juncture. His nonsensical heel turn completely ruined the character. I know a lot of wrestlers prefer to work heel, but there are times like here when it is crippling to a guy’s forward momentum.

-As much as the fans don’t get up for Rikishi, they care even less about Goldust. I guess he wasn’t well-missed yet at this stage.

-It’s odd to think of it this way, but since the previous year’s Rumble, WCW folded and the entire Invasion angle occurred and was resolved. Twelve months is a long time.

-Fans maybe weren’t that hungry for a returning Goldust, but they go a little bonkers for a semi-retired Al Snow, with a HUGE “We want Head!” chant.

-Undertaker shows up at #8 to a volcanic, camera-shaking pop, which is weird because he was a heel at this point. I thought maybe this show was from Texas, but… nope. Georgia. Fans just love them some ‘Taker. Taker annihilates the competition, and single-handedly clears out Goldust, Al Snow, Bossman, Rikishi, and Billy. Matt Hardy would come out next, and actually put up a hell of a fight (with Lita running some interference), lasting until his brother joined him at #10. They’d pretty much beat the snot out of Bikertaker for 90 seconds, but ‘Taker would eventually gain the upper hand and toss them both before #11 even gets called.

-So yeah… #11 is the newly crowned winner of Tough Enough, some jabroney named Maven, and the announcers immediately go into all but chanting “Taker’s gonna kill you” in regards to his chances. Before it can matter, the Hardyz jump back in the ring to get revenge on The Undertaker, allowing Maven to score a big moment by dropkicking Taker over the top. An incensed Undertaker revenge-eliminates Maven, and just brutalizes the young man, dragging him through the crowd and out to concessions. He’d end up smashing Maven through a popcorn machine to leave him bloody.

-All these years later, arenas still erupted for The Worm. Good on you, Scotty 2 Hotty. You ended up with more staying power than Rikishi in 2002.

-The Godfather is introduced as “having gone legit” and having bought an escort service. I’m pretty sure you can’t still call yourself s pimp, though. Or the ladies hoes. So that must have been the impetus here.

-Austin comes out, clears the ring, and gives us a flashback by “looking at his watch”. He quickly gets bored, though, and brings his vanquished foes (Christian and Chuck) back for more beat-downs while waiting on the next guy. He’d make equally short work of Venis and Test before HHH would match him at #22.

-The little humor moments really make The Rumbles, and Hurricane has this year’s. He joins Austin and HHH in the ring and attempts to double-chokeslam them. The try is funny enough, but Austin drives it home by giving an incredulous look and making a face to HHH that says “Let’s kick each other’s asses after getting rid of this twerp”.

-Kurt Angle–still with hair–comes out, and I IMMEDIATELY get the tune of his music stuck in my head for an hour or so to replace “Glorious”.

-Big Show at #27. Because it’s the only drama WWE understands.

-Big Show and Kane arrive late, seem powerful, but both go out early so that better guys can shine. Thirteen years prior to 2015.

-The super-popular RVD is eliminated pretty inconspicuously by Booker T after having achieved fuck-all, and the fans take a moment to shit all over that decision. This Rumble is making me think a lot of the 2015 iteration at this time.

-Yeah, Perfect is back, and I thought I’d have more to say about his impressive run, but he’s pretty mundane here. I guess I just tend to expect more from Curt than just “go out there and don’t suck”. If that seems harsh, well… his name wasn’t Mr. Adequate.

Also, I think the booking of Mr. Perfect was weird: they should have either had him get tossed earlier (since no one would have bought that he was going to win, so why keep him too long?), or they should have had him last to the final two and given HHH all that he could handle (since Hunter’s win was a mere formality from the start, why not have Perfect be the last threat to overcome since the fans would have loved to have been baited with his chances). Having him go out as third place just seems strange.

Rankings
1. 2001 (Austin III) – 10/10

2. 1992 (Flair) – 9/10

3. 1998 (Austin II) – 8/10
4. 1997 (Austin I) – 8/10

5. 2002 (HHH I) – 7/10

6. 1989 (Studd) – 5/10
7. 1999 (McMahon) 5/10
8. 1996 (Michaels II) – 5/10

9. 1993 (Yokozuna) – 4/10
10. 1990 (Hogan I) – 4/10
11. 1994 (Hart/Luger) – 4/10

12. 1991 (Hogan II) – 3/10
13. 2000 (The Rock) – 3/10

14. 1995 (Michaels I) – 2/10
15. 1988 (Duggan) – 2/10

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

So this was a good Rumble. I really waver on how much I liked this one. The highs were really good (Hurricane's bit; the whole stretch from Undertaker's entrance through his beat-down of Maven; Austin recalling of 1997), but the parts that weren't really good were just kind of flat and "there". Also, HHH was not a dramatic or shocking winner at all. It was exactly what everyone expected. Erring on the side of a quality score because Bobby Roode’s music left me feeling very positive.