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Ring Crew Reviews: Tape Digging Volume 10
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• I’ve done a few of these and always find it interesting to take a dive into old comp tapes and and the WWE Network. In case you do too, here are the previous versions
• Miracle Violence Connection vs. Bam Bam Bigelow & British Bulldog. AJPW. 06/10/90. MVC was Terry Gordy and Dr. Death and also known as Satsujin Gyorai which my sources (Google) tell me is a loose portmanteau of Death’s nickname, “doctor” (of course) and Gordy’s nickname, “torpedo”. Regardless, they were AJPW tag champs at the time and well, it’s about time I made use of my 3-disc collection from Highspots on the MVC.
• Bulldog and Gordy to start. Bulldog is super jacked here, but still trim enough to go. Surprisingly, though, Gordy has a couple inches on him and looks just as big if not as muscular. Bulldog shoves him off to start as we’re getting the slow burn. Bulldog tries a tackle, but Gordy stands stiff and is fired up. He gives a big Hacksaw HOOOOOOOOOOO to rile up the marks. Bulldog comes back with a PRESS SLAM! MY MAN! ANOTHER FOR DR. DEATH! That’s AWESOME and we’re only a couple minutes in. Gordy, being no fan of displays of strength, no sells to blindside him with a clothesline and Williams follows up with a PRESS SLAM OF HIS OWN! FOR REPS! 1, 2! HE PRESS SLAMS GORDY ONTO BULLDOG! HOSSFEST! Gordy covers for 1, 2, no as the awesomeness is just too much to contain, so Bulldog tags out for 3B. Williams in as well, and their lockup goes nowhere. They predictably shove it out and Williams fuckin’ DESTROYS him with an overhand right, and 3B just eats it to slug it out. 3B goes to the headbutts and gets the elbow up. DROPKICK FROM THE BIG MAN! Williams avoids a charge with a BACKDROP DRIVER! 1, 2, no. 3B wants none of that and bails for a breather. Back in, they milk the crowd and circle for the GRECO ROMAN KNUCKLE LOCK UP! OHMY! RIGHT HAND! NO! LEFT HAND! Williams with a kick to the stones instead and ordinarily, they’d deport ya for that kind of shit, but the ref didn’t get a good look so no dice. 3B no sells and he takes Death off his feet with a LARIATO. Double down and both make the tags.
• Crowd is HOT as Bulldog taunts for another press slam. Bulldog with a few leap frogs and a Bluechipper dropkick. DAVEY BOY FOR IC CHAMP IN TWO YEARS! Gordy bails and it’s time for a meeting of the minds in the MVC. They go with Plan B which is Gordy cheapshotting 3B and then shooting on Bulldog but Bulldog sprawling and escaping and Williams also bailing to gather his bearings. First class strategists, those guys. ANYWAY, Death back in as he and Bulldog fight over a wristlock before Williams takes the low road with a right hand. Gordy with a cheapshot from behind and takes over with a running clothesline. He wants a piledriver, but Bulldog is a hoss so instead Williams comes back in for the chinlock. Bulldog escapes but runs into a knee for 1, 2, 2 1/2. Bulldog finally fights off the attack to bring in 3B for another clash with Gordy. 3B with an armdrag(!) of all things but can’t capitalize, so Gordy smacks him in the corner. In the states that would kill, but the crowd didn’t care. 3B grabs a shoulder lock as these guys are barely even doing anything, but it’s awesome and the crowd is loving all of it. This is textbook, less is more. Bulldog in and he continues the Gamma hold to catch a breather. Gordy escapes to hit a suplex for 2. Death in for a double shoulderblock but no cover as Bigelow awesomely breaks it up from the apron and he and Williams get into a scuffle. Good stuff. Little characters moments like that make a tag match. Two hosses who won’t take any shit off anyone just existing in the moment. 3B in but he whiffs and gets tackled out of the 3 pt stance by Williams and IMMEDIATELY clotheslined by Gordy in an awesome sequence. MVC can’t sync up the spike piledriver, so Williams says fuck it and steamrolls Bam Bam with a LARIATO. 1, 2, 2.7. Crowd starts chanting for Bigelow as he tries to get out of yet another chinlock/resthold. This goes on a little too long and they lose the crowd, but get them back when Williams shitcans Bigelow out with the POUNCE! SERENGETI! Little follow-up though as Gordy comes in for another double down and 3B makes the tag. Bulldog is a house of Union Jack, but botches a monkey flip or some shit. They get back on the same page and Bulldog cleans house with dropkicks. Small package on Williams for 1, 2, no. Bulldog and Death again botch an Exploder and regroup in the corner. Bulldog takes over with the Lefty LARIATO. Bulldog tries coming off the top, but Gordy drops him with a back suplex. These guys are huffing and heaving now, so it’s time for the go home. Williams with the Oklahoma Stampede, but Bulldog hooks the ropes and falls on top for 1, 2, 2.99. Powerslam from Williams but 3B breaks it up. Powerbomb from Gordy and again Bigelow breaks it up and the crowd is getting louder and louder with each false finish. Williams has HAD IT WITH THE NEFARIOUS TACTICS and just absolutely beats the dog shit out of Bigelow and hammers him into the crowd. Bulldog with a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE, TWO, THREEOHNOHEALMOSTGOT’IM! Gordy cuts through the comeback with a powerbomb and stacks up Bulldog for 1, 2, 3 to take it at 20:02.
• This was some MAN shit. Cut out a couple of the longer chinlocks and shoulder locks and you’ve got a hell of 15 minute artillery show of just blunt force trauma. All 4 guys were game and this came off awesomely even without a lot of kamikaze stiffness or self-destruction. I particularly loved Dr. Death’s attention to little heel details throughout the entire match. ***3/4
• The Dungeon of Doom vs. The Horsemen. WCW Nitro. 09/02/96. Of course, Hogan turned on WCW a couple of months before this and everyone in WCW was left playing second fiddle to the nWo. The rest of the roster and the bookers for that matter seemed to be scrambling to figure out what to do with ordinary heels and faces with a megastable taking over the promotion. The biggest story of this particular episode of Nitro was Nick Patrick playing saboteur and DQ’ing a potential awesome match between the Steiners and Sting and Luger. The DOD were practically useless and the Horsemen weren’t much better since the piece of performance art that was the Doomsday Cage at Uncensored 96.
• Horsemen are Mongo, Benoit, Arn, and Flair. DOD is Taskmaster, FOF, and Big Bubba. Sullivan and Mongo to start as Iron Mike talks up the beating the nWo put on the Horsemen last week. Mongo botches a whip TWICE before Sullivan throws his ass down and stomps on him hilariously. Mongo no sells for a tackle and then heads up top for an apparent moonsault before changing his mind, almost falling, leaping off to land on his feet and almost tear out both knees. That might be the worst 30 seconds of professional wrestling I’ve seen in years. Bossman in and he’s still wearing his desperado gear. He takes down Mongo for a Bossman attack, but Mongo cuts him off with a haymaker and some CLUBBINGBLOWS. Mongo drops him with an atomic drop. Back in, a back drop and stomps the right hand. Benoit and Barbarian in. They chop it out in MANLY fashion, ending in Benoit avoiding to land a German suplex. Sullivan crotches Benoit up top, but Benoit no sells for the diving headbutt. Meng breaks up the cover as Flair tags in and the crowd blows the roof off the place. Meanwhile, Luger and Sting are still trying to get a word with Nick Patrick. They chase him to the back before running into Ted Dibiase and throwing a brick through his limo window. Sting and Luger then steal a police car to give chase, just because and we’re back to action. Flair and Meng slug it out in awesome fashion with Meng no selling, so Flair goes to the BLATANTLOWBLOW! ANOTHER FOR SULLIVAN! ANOTHER FOR BARBARIAN! BUBBA BEGS OFF! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Arn tags in for a DDT on Meng. He covers but Barbarian breaks it up as the crew continues trying to make sense of Sting and Luger’s descent into grand theft auto. Barbarian with a slam and hooks Arn in the Tree of Woe. Sullivan rams the shit outta Arn and brings in Big Bubba for a few kneedrops. Uppercut gets 1, 2, no. Meng in and Arn backdrops out of a piledriver attempt, but till gets beat down from behind. We take a break for a Glacier promo and are back to Benoit getting the tag. He goes straight for Sullivan and they degrades into a choking match. Big Bubba holds him down so the DOD can work him over. Meng in with an atomic drop and a stiff kick to the breadbasket. Barbarian in for a WILDBOMB! Tag to Big Bubba with a spinebuster but Flair in for no particular reason and the ref is just outgunned. Sullivan shitcans out Benoit behind the ref’s back and Flair is over to the heel corner with a chair. That leads nowhere. Back in, Sullivan works a few covers and brings in Big Bubba. Bossman jumps off into a boot in a ridiculous spot, but no one seems to care much. Sullivan in and he and Benoit get into another chopping war, so Sullivan goes low. Bischoff: “Vicious shoulder tackle.” Thanks for that. Benoit and Meng collide for an awesome crossbody for 1, 2, 2 1/2. Bubba in to choke for a bit, so Arn jumps him from behind for a spinebuster and the ref is all, “You know, better” until Flair shoves him outta the way. Barbarian tags in by touching Bubba’s foot and he brings in Meng as well for stereo splashes, but Benoit moves and they both wipe out. Tag to Flair and everybody feeds in for punches and kicks from him. He and Sullivan take a spell to set up a kneebreaker. Flair locks in the F4 as the Horsemen clear the ring. Benoit reminds Woman of her cue and she helps Flair with the pin for 1, 2, 3 to take it at 14:00.
• BUT WAIT! IT’S SCOTT HALL! HOGAN! NASH! HEENAN IS LEAVING FOR HIGH GROUND! Hogan bumps the ref as the nWo clear the ring of both stables. BUT WAIT! THE GIANT! HE TURNS HEEL AND CHOKESLAMS THE FOF! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! HE EMBRACES NASH! HIGH FIVE TO HOGAN! THE MADNESS IS OUT! HE’S GOT A CHAIR! HOGAN HOLDS HIM DOWN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOW BLOW! CHAIRSHOTS TO MACHO! GIANT CHOKESLAMS MACHO! THEY’VE GOT THE SPRAYPAINT! The fans pelt the nWo with garbage as they continue to hold off the WCW troops and brand Macho.
• Match was the usual fun chaos from such a collision, especially with Flair being in rare form, but the angle was molten. ***1/2
• Match to Determine the Number One Contender for the WWE Undisputed Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin. WWE RAW. 01/28/2002. The H’s would of course win the 02 RR after a thunderous return at MSG and get his guaranteed title shot at WM. Meanwhile, Jericho had won the one-night tournament to unify the two belts and become the Undisputed Champ. Rock had a return match at RR and came out on the losing end. Thus, Jericho still needed an opponent for WWE No Way Out.. Of course, while Rock and Jericho had arguably the feud of the year through 2001 over the WHW strap, Angle and Austin had quite the feud as well over the WWE belt including a barnburner at Summerslam, a post-9/11 title victory for Angle in Pittsburgh, and a quick unceremonious loss back to Austin a few weeks later on free TV.
• This is pre-Edge feud so Kurt still has hair but the crowd is all over him with You Suck chants which has now been upgraded to YOU SUCK/WHAT chants. Austin comes running out and they slug it out to start with Kurt cutting him off with a poke to the eyes. Austin ducks a few shots and counters an Angle THESZ PRESS attempt with a powerslam. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.99 early. Austin wants the STUNNER! NO! ANGLE CATCHES THE FOOT FOR THE ANKLELOCK! Austin rolls forward into cradle for 1, 2, 2 ½. We are 35 seconds in and this is just ELECTRIC! Austin sends Angle off and now it’s Thesz Press and elbow time. Cover gets another quick 2 count. Austin with a head of steam but runs right into a belly to belly suplex. Cover gets 1, 2, kickout. These guys are moving 900 mph; it’s crazy. Angle sends Austin across for the Bret Hart bump into the turnbuckle and then another. Looks like Austin neck and knees are feeling good tonight. Austin sends Kurt across but no sells and runs out for a LARIATO! 1, 2, no. Angle runs off into an Alabama Slam from Austin. Double KO spot with even Austin laboring. Cover gets another nearfall. Angle floats over out of a vertical suplex and goes to the Rolling Germans. Austin tries blocking the third but Angle powers through and hits it anyway. Austin finally elbows free and puts Angle up top. Austin just BLASTS Angle with chops tearing his skin away. Fans catch on and start WHAT-ing along. Austin is fired up and wants a superplex and hits it. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.7. Angle has had enough and bails out to take a walk. Austin runs him down for chops and rights on the ramp. That seemed like an Austin-spot call that was a staple of his late 90s stuff but doesn’t quite fit right here. Austin tries to bring him in but Angle rolls right through the ring, so Austin dumps him on the stairs. Angle continues trying to pace around ringside and getting pasted into the stairs. Angle goes for a Spear but posts himself after Austin dodges. Austin WHAT-s away in the corner before Earl tries to get some space. Of course, Angle uses the room to BLATANTLYLOWBLOW Austin with a punt to the stones. Angle rolls to the floor to get a chair but Austin grabs it away. He winds up but Angle pulls Hebner in the way and cooler heads prevail. Angle realizes he has the upper hand and eggs Austin on because if he gets hit, Austin is DQ’ed and Angle is number 1 contender. Austin drops the chair and instead stomps a mudhole. STUNNER! NO! Angle shoves Austin and it’s ref bump time. CHAIRSHOT! YEAHHH! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! EIGHT CHAIRSHOTS! ANGLE DUMPS THE CHAIR! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That’s how you cheat. Angle hooks the leg for 1, 2, 2.9999999999999999. Crazy kickout that really makes no sense but crowd is into it. Angle covers again in desperation and Austin kicks out again. Austin mounts for some GnP and fires up for the AnkleLock. Austin grabs the ropes but Angle pulls back to the middle. Austin tries to counter but angle overpowers and won’t release. Austin finally gets the ropes. Angle: “GET YOUR ASS UP, AUSTIN!” ANGLESLAM! 1, 2, NO! FOOT ON THE ROPES! Angle celebrates anyway hilariously. He does his gold medal celebration and then mounts in the corner to play the trombone. Earl yells bullshit and gets in Angle’s grill. They argue over arithmetic long enough for Austin to hit the Stunner on Angle. Austin hooks the leg for 1, 2, 3 to win it at 10:27.
• They were really on the cusp of something amazing with Angle if they just let it go and grow into something organic instead of constantly roadblocking him back into a chickenshit heel. They were too busy trying NOT to make him a diabolical wrestling machine that suplexed people to death – basically Brock Lesnar/Vader/Scott Steiner — that they kind of neutered him in the process, at least for a few years. Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle circa 2005-2008 ish is one of my favorite characters ever and we could have had it even earlier if they just got out of the way and gave him some big-time wins over Austin, Rock, Cena, etc. but it seems that was never quite going to happen. As for the match, it’s amazingly fast-paced for the first 5 minutes, just crisp and smooth, and high-impact. Could have done without Austin kicking out of several chairshots with no down time but what else is new. ****1/4
• WWE Intercontinental Championship: Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair (c). WWE RAW. 02/20/2006. So, it seemed that the Fed wanted to give Flair one more run, but a midcard run so he bested Carlito for the IC strap in the late summer of 2005. Over the next 5 months, he defended the belt a grand total of 3 times, but still had awesome feuds with H and Edge, though he was taken down a few notches by his road rage bust that Edge awesomely mocked.
• Shelton Benjamin, on the other hand, was stuck in a bit of a rut. He had won the IC title in late 2004 and got a good push out of it. He even had his well-known match with HBK on RAW during that run. But he was drafted over and lost the IC title instantly to Carlito (who later lost it to Flair) and went on a losing streak; thus, Shelton’s Mama showed up to light a fire under his ass. Shelton got this shot by defeating Eugene the previous week.
• Coach: “Guys, if there’s one thing you don’t want to do in life, it’s disappoint your mama. So Shelton has extra motivation, tonight.” You can expect that level of craftsmanship and artistry on commentary from King, Styles, and Coach. Flair avoids a lockup to brush his hair back and then hiptosses Shelton down. Styles asks King what his strategy would be against Flair and he doesn’t mention the right hand or a piledriver, so we know he’s lying. Shelton takes over with a haymaker, but Flair comes back with chops. Shelton tries a backdrop, but Flair stops short, struts, and chops him down and the crowd eats it up. Flair with another chop and Shelton sells it over the top to the floor in a cool spot. We take a break and are back to Shelton working over Flair. Flair comes back with a kneebreaker and wants the F4 but Shelton kicks him to the floor. Shelton whiffs on a baseball slide and feeds into another chop. Shelton has HAD IT WITH THE NOSTALGIA TRIP and drops Flair with a Samoan drop on the floor. Flair doesn’t so much sell as just exist as an old man taking a back bump from 6 feet down to the floor, but it all looks the same. Shelton lands the hanging vertical suplex back in for 1, 2, no. Shelton “tries” to act like a heel by kind of shrugging his shoulders and choking Flair, but no one cares. Backdrop gets 1, 2, no. Flair Flops off a kick pitifully for another 2 count. Flair knows he has to dig deep into his arsenal and comes up with MOARCHOPS! Shelton ignores for the spinwheel mule kick for 1, 2, 2 1/2. Shelton swats him down with another elbow and almost falls down hitting a flying clothesline for another nearfall. Flair is giving him all he wants, and Shelton still can’t muster a personality so Flair shoves him off for another high spot. Shelton springboards into a chop from Flair that takes him off his feet. 1, 2, 2.99. Flair clips the knee and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL, CRAZY OLD MAN STYLE! F4! Shelton struggles but gets the ropes to boos. Shelton’s Mama gets out of her wheelchair and fakes a heart attack. Jack Doane can’t say no to a damsel in distress and calls for the paramedics. Shelton waffles Flair with the oxygen tank. That’s something you don’t see everyday. T-Bone suplex puts away Flair at 9:00.
• Both guys were working against their best selves and Flair, while still wildly entertaining, didn’t have enough left in the tank to carry a clueless Shelton through working heel. Decent but don’t expect much. **1/2
• World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle (c). WWE Smackdown. 03/03/2006. After that barnburner at N.W.O, these two would cross paths again. Mysterio had won the RR to get the automatic title shot, but Orton used some real deal heel heat and told Rey that Eddie Guerrero was in hell to get a match with him for the WM shot. Orton beat Rey fair and square using the ropes for leverage to get the win at N.W.O. Rey whined about it all and Teddy Long made it a triple threat anyway. Yes, that really happened. Meanwhile, this match had no TV build other than just the obvious awesome match quotient which can never be underestimated as it explains any number of Nitro TV main events.
• Pre-match, Cole’s all AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST, WRESTLING MACHINE UNSTOPPABLE FORCE MEETING THE GREATEST STRIKER, PHENOM, DEAD MAN IMMOVABLE OBJECT! Angle uses his speed to avoid early as the crowd gets the dueling chants going again. Angle wants the Euro uppercuts but Nick Patrick has other ideas and Taker goozles him back into the corner to work over the ribs and jaw with strikes. Taker sends him across but Angle gets the elbow up and suckers Taker in with an arm drag. He torques the arm down into a Fujiwara armbar. Taker no sells the arm to counter to shoulder surges and elbows to the arm. Taker now wants a Fujiwara armbar of his own on the same arm that he worked over on Kurt at N.W.O. Angle tries rolling through but Taker hangs on so Kurt tries right hands but no dice there either. Taker repeats the test of strength spot and drops Angle. Taker wraps the bad arm around the ropes, but Kurt uses Nick Patrick’s distraction to go to the boots on the “bad” knee. Taker wants Old School but Kurt counters with more strikes and goes back to the knee. Kurt unleashes more Euro uppercuts and stomps in the corner. Taker again flips Kurt with the same armdrag spot and goes back to the same top wristlock.
• Virtually identical matches so far to N.W.O. Kurt mounts in the corner for 10 punches but only gets to 8 before Taker wants the LAST RIDE! Angle blocks so Taker drops him on the top rope for a crotch spot. BRUTAL! Taz nicely brings up that Kurt countered that same Last Ride to an AnkleLock at the PPV, so that’s the first new spot thus far. Kurt is reeling and Taker trashes him into the barricade. We take a break and we’re back to Taker prepping the announce table but Angle jumps him from behind. Taker ignores for a LARIATO. He puts Kurt on the apron for a Batista kick and apron leg drop on Angle’s bad neck. For what it’s worth, annoyingly, Michael Cole keeps calling this Kurt’s “kick in the armor,” but I digress. Back in, Taker covers for 1, 2, no. Taker now focuses the assault on Angle’s neck by grinding a forearm into it. He chokes Angle in the ropes as the crowd gets the dueling chants going. Kurt sends him off for a powerslam for the double KO spot. Cover gets 1, 2, only 2 and now Angle tries to buy time with the chinlock. Taker aint having it and gouges the eye to get out of the hold. Still, Angle with a snap suplex for another 2 count. Angle jumps right back on Taker with a body triangle. Taker powers out and pounds way with the GnP. UT whiffs on the Liu Kang kick again and Angle tries to knock his block off on the apron but Taker counters with an elbow. Taker heads up top but Angle cuts him off as they jockey for position. Angle wins that war with the top rope superplex. He hooks the leg for 1, 2, 2.99. We take another break and come back to Angle working a chinlock. Taker punches his way free so Angle shoots on him and goes right into the GnP. He tosses Taker but UT lands on his feet. He pulls Angle to the floor but Angle counters and now it’s Taker getting sent into the steps.
• OK, it’s fair to say they’ve completely abandoned the structure of the last match and it’s better for it. Back in, Angle covers for 1, 2, no. They start slugging it out as Taz speculates about who has the gas tank to go the distance. Taker wins, of course, with the soup bones and a Ho Train. He charges in with another and hits Snake Eyes but Angle again ducks the Liu Kang kick. GERMAN SUPLEXO! Angle fires up for the AngleSlam but Taker slides out for the FOOT TO THE FACE! 1, 2, 2 ½. UT goozles for the ChokeSlam but Kurt again rolls through into the AnkleLock. UNDERTAKER HAS NEVER TAPPED OUT IN HIS CAREER! And he’s not now as he tosses Kurt off. They redo the Tombstone reversal spot again but Kurt drops down instead for an AngleSlam. 1, 2, 2.999. They waited much longer before they started kicking out of finishers this time. Kurt fires up again and drops the straps. AnkleLock again. Taker rolls through and ChokeSlams Kurt but manages to stumble into the ropes so he can’t capitalize. SELLING, TONY! Angle no sells to drop down back into the AnkleLock. Taker rolls over into the Triangle Choke. He’s got it deep but Kurt stacks him up and rolls him up again but the shoulders aren’t down. Taker rolls back over into the choke. Patrick raises the arm one. Twice. Three tim– NO! Kurt gets the ropes. Taker pulls him to the middle for the Manhattan Project LegDrop but Angle catches the leg back into the AnkleLock. OK, that’s awesome. Again, Taker counters out so Angle ducks a shit for the ANGLE SLAM! NO! DRAGON SLEEPER! Angle elbows free and floats over for the DDT. Angle drapes the arm for 1, 2, 2.99. Angle Toupees Headgears up and mounts for the Teardrop Moonsault. MAYBE HE’LL HIT IT! He whiffs as always. ZOMBIE SITUP! THROAT SLASH! TOMBSTONE! BUT WAIT! WHAT THE HELL! MARK HENRY HAS COME OUT! He waffles Taker for the DQ at 21:14
• Post-match, Henry gets a running start and Frog Splashes Taker through the announce table.
• About as good as you’re going to get for free TV with no clean finish. They followed the blueprint for about the first 10 minutes, but once Taker countered Angle’s counter out of the Last Ride we were in uncharted territory. Aside from a few identical finisher counters down the stretch, it was a brand new match and another awesome one at that. They waited longer into the match’s duration to pull out finisher counters and kickouts and that added to the drama. Smartly, they played down the psychology this time around so that the lack of selling in the final few minutes is more forgivable as opposed to a drawback. ****1/2
• World Tag Team Championship: Rated RKO vs. Ric Flair & Roddy Piper (c). WWE RAW. 11/13/2006. After Show/Kane squashed Carlito/Masters at WM 06, The Spirit Squad debuted to take the tag straps from them. Despite losing a lot to DX, Spirit Squad remained champs until Cyber Sunday when Piper was voted in as Flair’s partner and they won the belts. Edge and Orton meanwhile were tired of losing to guys like John Cena, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels so they formed Rated RKO because misery loves company. They defeated DX at Cyber Sunday with crooked ref, Eric Bischoff’s help. They had a go at this same match the week before but DX interfered and cost the heels. Tonight, DX is barred but have front row tix. Bischoff’s assistant, Coach call for security and has them escorted out. Flair and Piper are the oldest combined age for tag champs ever.
• Piper out first for the champs, alone. He revels in the response but Edge and Orton corner him and pound him down to big heat. Edge waffles him down with a shot to the SURGICALLYREPAIREDHIP! BUT WAIT! RIC FLAIR HAS COME OUT! He and Orton brawl but it’s too late. CONCHAIRTO ON RODDY PIPER! Flair collapses to protect his friend and is pummeled down as well. Chioda has to RING THE DAMN BELL! Flair tries fighting back alone with chops but gets backdropped out by Edge. Medics check on Piper and carry him out. Edge works a chinlock on Flair. Edge boots him down and plays to the crowd’s boos. Orton tags in and stomps a mudhole in the corner and then clotheslines Flair out to the floor, no selling his chops in the process. Orton with a suplex on the floor and smacks around on the floor. JR: “I DON’T GIVE A DAMN IF HE IS THE FUTURE OF THE BUSINESS!” Edge back in and mocks the strut. JR: “HE NEVER MET A MIRROR HE DIDN’T LOVE!” Anchor hold follows on Flair. Flair tries firing up but runs into a back elbow . Oddly, on commentary, Todd Grisham is trying to work a bit heel against JR’s straight man/face routine and it’s not really working. Flair takes over with a BLATANTLOWBLOW but the ref doesn’t see it. JR: “It might have worked out better for Flair if the ref did see it because then he could have been disqualified.” Tag to Edge and he feeds in to some chops. Backdrop on Edge and more chops on Orton. Orton waffles him from behind. JR: “HEY REF! WHY DON’T YOU GET SOMEONE OUT OF THERE, LIKE RANDY ORTON?!” Flair avoids a backdrop and wants the FIGURE FOUR! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SPEARSPEARSPEAR puts him down for the count though at 6:00 including the beatdown.
• More of a segment or storyline advancement than a match, but it damn sure got over RKO as heels deluxe. **
• WWE Intercontinental Championship: JBL vs. CM Punk (c). RAW 03/9/2009. Hey, remember that time that JBL and CM Punk feuded on and off for 6 months through 2008 and 2009? After dropping the WHW strap without even being in the Scramble Match, Punk was demoted to tag champ and winning a tournament for a chance to become IC champ. Or something. Punk ended up winning the IC strap from Regal after a few go-rounds culminating in a No DQ match on RAW. JBL, meanwhile, had been trying to force HBK into slavery but the jig was up at NWO after HBK defeated him clean. HBK gave him one more shot in a match to choose who would wrestle UT at Mania(!) and JBL lost that, too. JBL was reeling and simply had to be a champ going into Mania in Texas, so his next stop was an IC title shot.
I still find it amazing that during his second fed run, JBL got the biggest pyro of all time.
• ANYWAY, TO THE MATCH! Crowd with a big CMPUNK chant as JBL takes him down with a back elbow. Punk avoids a clothesline to work the hamstrings with a few kicks. Snap mare gets nothing as they can’t get going. JBL sends him off for the SLEEPER! WHATAMANEUVER! Punk counters out with a jawbreaker and the step up knee, but JBL shoves him off to take a breather. Punk isn’t having it and dives out with a suicide dive. We take a break and are back to JBL working an ab stretch. Snap ab suplex gets 1, 2, no. Short arm clothesline from Sheol gets 1, 2, not 3. JBL with a few elbows to the back for another 1, 2, nearfall. They trades shots and really milk the hell out of a few strikes. Punk lands a Tornado DDT. HE’S BUILDING MOMENTUM, MAGGLE! 1, 2, shoulder up. Punk goes to the burritos and a leg lariat to JBL’s chest. Springboard clothesline leads to another step up knee. Bulldog gets 1, 2, 2 1/2. Punk wants the G2S, but JBL rakes the eyes like a pro. Clothesline from Hell gets 1, 2, 3(!) at 6:00.
• Fairly generic with neither guy particularly meshing well with the other. But that pretending to be hurt when hit with punches and kicks. What’s the word? Oh yeah, S. E. L. L. I. N. G. That was something new. Though if you listen to Jericho’s podcast with JBL, he’ll tell you himself that he could barely have a match at this point due to his back pain, hence Mysterio squashing him at Mania. Plus, a relatively clean finish and one that certainly didn’t bury Punk because he was on another planet just a few months after this – winning MITB, turning heel, and feuding with Jeff Hardy. **1/4
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