wrestling / Video Reviews
Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Extreme Rules 2011
Loading...• Scheduled Card:
1. Last Man Standing: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton.
2. Team, Country Whipping Match: Michael Cole & Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler.
3. Falls Count Anywhere: Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio.
4. Leaves WWE: Michelle McCool vs. Layla.
5. Ladder Match for the Vacant World Heavyweight Championship: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio.
6. Lumberjack Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Corre vs. Big Show and Kane (c).
7. Triple Threat Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: John Morrison vs. John Cena vs. The Miz (c).
• Video package is standard issue with no feuds mentioned and it just focuses on EE being the extreme follow-up to Wrestlemania where perhaps those storybook endings aren’t quite over yet. It shows just how unheralded this show is because neither the video package nor the blurb on the WWEN mention any feuds, angles, matches, etc.
• Last Man Standing: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton. So, this feud. Punk was injured and kind of pissed off about the whole breaking up of the SES in the fall of 2010. He was placed on commentary and basically took over the show, from an entertainment perspective, without ever using a wristlock. Meanwhile, Orton was champ but was having his entire reign killed by playing third wheel to the Cena-Nexus feud. After that whole mini-debacle, Miz cashed in to become new champ and Barrett was left high and dry with no feud and almost no heat. Punk assumed leadership and formed the New Nexus, relieving Barrett of his duties during a triple threat cage match on RAW. Orton did his damnedest not to put over Miz at the RR and it basically worked, but Punk interfered to cost him the strap. It had some nice continuity with Punk alluding all the way back to the Unforgiven 2008 punt that sent Punk packing out of the WHW championship. They would clash on and off until Mania where Orton would win the big one (until the next one).
• Orton out first or “THE RECENTLY-DRAFTED-TO-SMACKDOWN ORTON!” as Josh Matthews calls him. Punk is out flanked by New Nexus members, Otunga, Curtis Axel (then McGillicutty), and Mason Ryan. BUT WAIT! THE MYSTERY RAW GM HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT! Josh Matthews wants to have our attention and informs us that New Nexus is banned from ringside. Matthews wants to know how this might affect Punk. Book: “CM PUNK AIN’T NO PUNK… WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING IN THE RING AND GETTING THE JOB DONE!” Thanks for that. Punk wastes no time taking off a turnbuckle pad before the bell even rings. King: “Well, did you see—uh—CM Punk, there, just eliminating the… uh…the ring.. ahhuhh…the…apron cover, there, off of the turnbuckle…EXPOSING THAT METAL TURNBUCKLE RIGHT THERE!” NAILED IT! ANYWAY, fisticuffs to start and Orton wins that one. He ducks a Punk-line for an Orton-line and Punk bails out to the floor. Orton tosses him into the barricade and Punk plays dead already. Orton goes to the Euro uppercuts and Punk eats stairs as well. Orton fish hooks him for the CLUBBINGBLOWS and Euro uppercuts. Matthews: “REMEMBER, GUYS, THIS ALL STARTED BACK IN 2008! … PUNK NEVER FORGOT ABOUT THAT! HE TOOK 2 ½ YEARS TO EXACT HIS RETRIBUTION!”
• Back in, Punk begs off but cuts off Orton with some knees. Book: “REVENGE IS THE ULTIMATE PAYBACK!” Phew. It’s going to be a long night with these three. Punk tries to send Orton into the exposed steel but Orton counters and they trade counters with Punk snapmaring him down for a knee drop. Orton comes right back with a knee of his own. Punk rolls to the floor to sell and breaks out the Kendo stick and waffles Orton a few times. Punk poses as Orton gets to his feet at 5. Orton now wants the Kendo stick but Punk counters with a spinning back kick to the gut. More Kendo action from Punk and he preens for a mixed reaction. Back suplex and Charles Robinson starts the count again. He gets to 6 as Punk heads up top for a double sledge but Orton cuts him off with a Kendo stick shot. Nice cutoff. He waffles Punk rather robotically a few times and goes back to the Orton-lines and a neck/backbreaker. Orton wants the apron DDT but Punk counters for the slingshot into the exposed turnbuckle for another nice cutoff. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Orton recovers. Punk wedges a chair in the opposite corner and follows up with the step up knee and wants the bulldog. Orton shoves him off to avoid.
• G2S attempt is blocked for an RKO attempt which is blocked. Orton finally gets control and shoves Punk into the chair in the corner. Another good sequence. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Punk stirs. 6. 7. 8. He beats the count. Orton trashes him into the barricade a few times and fires up for the powerslam. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Punk up again. Orton preps the announce table but Punk blindsides him with an enzuigiri. That stuns Orton long enough for Punk to finish clearing off the announce table. Orton cuts him right back off for a back suplex on the apron. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Orton gets Punk back up and in the ring. He wants the RKO but Punk sweeps the leg and hits the G2S! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! Orton gets to his feet for a second using the ropes. Punk brings in a chair for a Russian leg sweep on the chair. Punk tries another but RKO! RKO! Book: “IT CAN HAPPEN JUST LIKE THAT!” 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! Punk stumbles out to the floor which is good enough to beat the 10 count. Orton steamrolls him and dumps him into the front row. He wants the DDT again but Punk drives him and posts him back-first. Punk: “STAY DOWN!” Orton doesn’t heed the advice and gets up, so Punk PILLMANIZES ORTON’S THROAT INTO THE RINGPOST! YEAHHHH! 1! 2! THIS IS TOO EXTREME! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! WE NEED A MEDIC! 8! 9! ORTON IS UP! Punk brings him over to the announce table for a G2S. Orton elbows free and an RKO on the table. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. PUNK BEATS THE COUNT! Charles Robinson restarts the count but Orton is in a fury and wants THE PUNK! NO! G2S ON THE STAIRS! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! Orton drags himself up one more time. Orton gets his third wind and cuts off Punk using his as a piñata as he belts him down with a Kendo stick. Orton preps and delivers the SUPER RKO! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Orton’s the winner at 20:05.
• I have to admit: I wasn’t expecting that to be as good as it was. Orton has a knack for occasionally sandbagging guys while taking and only seeming like he gives a shit while on offense, and that was playing out even in the first few minutes here. But after some really smart match layout with the Kendo stick cutoff off the top and the DDT countered into the exposed turnbuckle, the match settled into a very nice back-and-forth contest. The feud didn’t necessarily have a lot of heat and the crowd was mostly quiet when it seemed like Punk might win, so given a different feud, this same match with a molten crowd could have drifted into MOTYC territory. Because they had some excellent false finishes including the RKO on the table and the G2S on the stairs. Damn good work. ****
• Meanwhile, King heads to the back to prepare for his Country Whipping match against Swagger and Cole. We review the results of the brand draft where RAW got ADR, Kofi, Mysterio, and Show and Smackdown netted Sheamus, Orton, Sin Cara, and Khali.
• Bonus, Tables Match for the WWE United States Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus (c). Last Smackdown, Sheamus jumped Kofi from behind and Teddy Long had no random tag matches to book, so instead, he gave the EE fans what they wanted: a bonus match – a tables match for the US strap. Sheamus demands to see Kofi’s birth certificate because TOPICAL POLITICAL HUMOR!
• Sheamus won the KOTR honor back in November on RAW and that lasted all of a month before it ceased to be mentioned or matter at all. He hit the skids losing to some combination of Randy Orton, John Morrison, or Mark Henry for the next two months and not having a victory from December 2010 through MARCH 2011 before winning the US belt from DB on RAW. He and Dragon would go to a no contest in a lumberjack match on the pre-show of WM 27 and then Sheamus would lose to Kofi on the RAW before attacking him later that week.
• Book wants Kofi, like Mizark, to drop the smile and get a mean streak. Kofi seizes the opportunity and tries to use his speed to stay ahead of Sheamus but gets clubbed down in the corner. Kofi ducks a shot and takes down Sheamus with a double leg and goes to the GnP. He goes spelunking and comes up with a table. Sheamus trashes him into the barricade and then HIDES THE TABLE BACK UNDER THE RING! HEEL! Sheamus then ruins my buzz off his table buzzkill by going after a different table anyway and Kofi tackles him with a burrito. Kofi sets up a table and lays Sheamus on it. Kofi trots down the apron and Sheamus casually moves out of the way, while Book continues to push for Kofi turning heel hard on commentary. Sheamus cuts him off for another barricade shot. Sheamus pulls out a PRECEDENTED THIRD TABLE! He preps the Razor’s Edge through the table but Kofi flips out for nothing, so it’s back into the ring. Book wants Kofi to break out the Plan B which is eating a battering ram from Sheamus. Just as it seems the match might develop a personality, Sheamus rolls to the floor to pull back out the table he put up earlier. Kofi races to stop and gets his arm wrapped around the top rope for his trouble, which Kofi sells like a choke. High drama in Tampa. Sheamus waffles him down with a table to the gut as Matthews finally mentions that Sheamus won the WWE strap in a tables match.
• Sheamus drops the table on Kofi a few times and poses while standing on the table ON Kofi and then kicks him in the face on the way down. I can always get behind some mustache twirling. Sheamus sets up the table in the corner and preps a Spear through it. Kofi counters with a roll through into a double foot stomp. Kofi softly smashes Sheamus into the table and goes for a Stinger Splash but Sheamus moves. Kofi lands straddling the top, so Sheamus scoops him up for the Razor’s Edge. Kofi slides out and ducks a Pump Kick as well. He gets to the apron but Sheamus shoves him off for the Pump Kick. Kofi shows off his ring awareness though and jumps the table on the way down to not end the match. That was slick. Back in, Sheamus sets up the table again and places it near the corner. He wants a powerslam off the top but Kofi counters only to get clubbed off the top. They now switch to the third table on the outside. Kofi avoids a suplex and kicks Sheamus off the apron with the Trouble in Paradise. Sheamus though stops his momentum and doesn’t land on the table. Book: “KOFI, TURN HEEL!” Well, not exactly, but basically. Kofi climbs up top and leaps off with a Boom Drop on Sheamus through the table to take the US belt at 9:09.
• Decent but not much else. Table matches are chores with the beginning always being move, sell, get a table, cutoff, punch, sell, set up table, cutoff, move, position table, move, knock over table and so on for at least 5 minutes. They have to literally set up the furniture, so they can begin the action portion of the match. This toyed with the idea of getting interesting as Sheamus heeled it up, Kofi kept cleverly avoiding table bumps, and Sheamus kept improvising; but the ending, while logical from a WWE video game standpoint, is ultimately a cheesy, ridiculous spot that makes little sense. **1/4
• Todd Grisham is in the back with R-TRUTH! YES! Truth was this close to ruling the world back in mid 2011. See, he won a number 1 contender’s gauntlet match on RAW by outlasting Ziggler, Orton, and JoMo to be in the triple threat cage match with Cena and Miz, even though he got blown sky high being out there 30 minutes. The following week, JoMo and Truth had this strange split, where Morrison came off like a dick complaining about losing and questioning Truth’s cardio because he smoked. So, Truth put the title shot on the line and like an asshole, he lost but got his heat and turned heel by lighting up and smoking in the unconscious Morrison’s face.
• Soon after What’s up became SHUT UP, Lil Jimmy made his first non-appearance, and there ya go. ANYWAY, Truth is aghast that he’s not on the card tonight. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT A NOSE KNOWS! YOU SMELL THAT?! IT’S A CONSPIRACY! C-O-N…SPIRACY! See, JoMo stole his shot and if there’s one thing Truth can’t stand, IT’S A THIEF! Fade to black.
• Tag Team, Country Whipping Match: Michael Cole & Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler. Sometime in 2010, Cole turned heel as lead commentator in pushing The Miz as the second coming of Superstar Billy Graham, while continually burying Daniel Bryan amongst others. Jerry Lawler had been quasi-feuding with Miz all along as well and finally got a shot against Miz in a TLC match on RAW. Cole interfered and cost him the match, thus pushing King-Miz into the most prominent and possibly over feud on the show. As crazy as it sounds, Lawler might have been the most over and sympathetic face on the show for months, but that all fizzled once he lost to Miz at EC. As a follow-up, then, he had a godawful match with Cole at Wrestlemania that drug on for far too long and which he lost because Stone Cold stunned Cole… or something. The most relevant part of all this to me is how thin Swagger looks compared to today.
• Cole’s got the stick and he’s covered in bubble wrap which is pretty funny. Cole reads his resume to prove that he’s not afraid of a couple of hicks in a cowboy hat and a fake crown. You get the idea. TO THE MATCH! King and Swagger to start. Swagger backs away from King right into a wallop from JR. That provides the opening for King to go to work with the belt. Tag to Cole who no sells a belt shot from King. Book: “That’s ridiculous.” Matthews: “Is it ridiculous or is it genius?” Book: “IT’S STUPID IS WHAT IT IS!” Cole no sells some more from JR and King. Cole eggs on King who promptly lays him out with a haymaker. Lawler tears off the bubble wrap and Cole weasels out to the corner and tags in Swagger. Swagger pounds him down and then ties Lawler to the ropes. He puts the boots to him and goes after the ankle. A few quick tags from the heels and Swagger wants a photo op: “CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!” Swagger sends him across and Lawler goes down like a sack of shit. Swagger goes for the VaderBomb but King rolls out of the way. King Memphises up and puts away Swagger and no sells a shot from Cole. Cole, though, distracts long enough for Swagger to clip the knee and lock in the Anklelock. JR swats at Swagger from behind which is enough to get a break. King recovers with a DDT and tags in JR. JR whips him a few times and then ridiculously puts an Anklelock on Swagger. Matthews: “WILL SWAGGER TAP OUT TO JR’S ANKLELOCK?!” No, no, he won’t. Thankfully, Swagger bails out and tags in Cole. They mess up a few turnbuckle smashes and JR gets loose and gets the dirt off his shoulder and just runs into Cole in a bowling shoe ugly spot. He tries an Anklelock but Swagger is in. JR goes low and whips him some more. BUT WAIT! COLE ROLLS UP JR! 1, 2, 3 to take it at 7:01.
• Not the worst abomination from this feud by a longshot, but it’s still garbage and shouldn’t EVER have gotten 10+ minutes including entrances (which makes Mania that much more insane considering they got 15 minutes bell to bell alone). JR should never wrestle and I’m sure he would say the same thing. It’s just one of those needlessly elaborate gimmicks that does nothing but eat up TV time and is in service of no long-term goals and gets over no one in the process. Just a giant waste, especially of Swagger who deserved and eventually got better. 1/2 *
• Post-match, King turns on JR and spikes him with a Piledriver and puts on a “I BROKE JR’S NECK” shirt. OK, not really.
• Meanwhile, Todd Grisham is in the back with John Cena. Grisham knows it’s a been a long time since Cena was cha—JUNE 20TH! JUNE 20, 2010! In 10 months, Cena has been through a lot – Nexus, New Nexus, Miz, Rock, etc. but he hasn’t been champ. Cena then channels his 2005, sandwich-simile days to call Grisham, a “SON OF A MUSTARD SANDWICH!” and promise that he’ll be champ again tonight.
• Falls Count Anywhere: Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio. Before Cody was Stardust, before he was tagging with his brother at all, before he was the Lovestache, before he was a Rhodes Scholar, before he with scarred for life (i. e., a while) with his baggers, he was DASHING CODY RHODES! (Speaking of which, as anyone ever had gotten more start and stop gimmicks over than Cody Rhodes? No matter what he does, he’s incredible.) ANYWAY, he was, according to Michael Cole, quite the looker and was even unified tag champs with Drew McIntyre. Once they lost the tag belts, the team hit the skids and Cody was on his own and there was no stopping him. It was all big city and bright lights and Frank Sinatra songs until the treacherous Rey Mysterio hit him with a 619 that broke his nose. Dashing was no more, but Cody re-emerged with a face-mask to protect his golden looks from Mysterio. He gained some baggers and berated the Smackdown audience weekly for being ugly including Booker T. This all led to a Mania bout where Cody triumped over Mysterio. They would have a return match on Smackdown that Rey would win, but Cody would plant him into the concrete and bag him, so it’s one more time to settle the score.
Extreme Rules 2011: Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes… by RatedREdgeHead316
• They slug it out to start and Cody goes to work. Rey gets the boots up in the corner and slides under for some kicks. He telegraphs a backdrop, so Cody cuts him off with the Goldust uppercut. Rey comes back with the headscissors that sends Cody to the floor. Rey baseball slides out for the anti-Newtonian rana. Cody brushes it off for a Bluechipper dropkick on the floor. Cover gets 1, 2, no. Cody grabs his by the mask but Rey takes over and tosses him into the entrance set-up. Cody sells to the floor where Rey dives him on with the seated senton. Cover gets 1, 2, 2 ½. They detour into the crowd as Cody drops Rey on the barricade with an atomic drop. This is like WCW cruiserweight pace as we’re 2 minutes in and it’s been several spots already. Cody drops him with a clothesline for 1, 2, shoulder up. Rey ducks under Cody with a drop toe hold into the barricade and a DR FG enzuigiri. Rey then leads him up the stairs on the hard camera side and wraps the arm on the rail. Cody shakes it off for a headbutt and a LIONTAMER USING THE GUARDRAIL! OH MY! See, that should be awesome, but no one gives a shit because it’s dropped into the first 3 minutes of a wandering brawl that has had no in-match reason for that. Cody brings him around for another headbutt. He headbutts Rey again and bites him for that 70’s Piper touch, although again, it’s just not making a dent. The fans are interested enough in the idea of taking pictures and being next to a match going on, but no one is invested in what they’re doing. Now, at 4 minutes in, we’re all the way up to the concourse. Rey Spears Cody into some trash cans. Mysterio drops a trashcan on him to pick up the pace a bit. Rey goes to drive him into a mirror, which could have some nice thematic overtones what with Cody’s former narcissist gimmick but Book and Matthews completely whiff on it.
• Cody uses the ledge though for the double jump gamengiri. Rey basically no sells to leap at Cody who alley oops him to the concession stand. Rey springboards back on him for a crossbody for 1, 2, nearfall. OK, that was awesome. Cody sells his way back toward the arena and Rey tackles him from behind. Rey gets on the rail for a spot, but Cody has other ideas and just keeps staggering away. Rey tries some kinda dropkick using the rail which Cody also no sells until the second try. Rey gets on the barricade AGAIN but Cody forgets the spot again and well the last 90 seconds have sucked. Rey charges in and Cody hiptosses him back to ringside in a nice spot. Rey tries another ridiculous Anti-Newtonian rana out of a wheelbarrow, so Cody drops him on the stairs. Cover gets 1, 2, kickout. Cody drags him back into the ring finally. Rey with another springboard crossbody for 1, 2, 2.99. Rey goes for another crossbody off the top but Cody expects a dropkick and sells as such. Rey clips the knee and exposes his knee brace LIKE A HEEL! How is it seriously possible that Cody Rhodes is coming off like the face in the feud? Rey breaks his nose, Cody gets revenge, so Rey tries to break his nose again? ANYWAY, Rey goes for a guillotine leg drop but whiffs. Cody sets him up for the punt along the ropes and the BOB HOLLY ALABAMA SLAM! ONE, TWO, THREEOHNOHEALMOSTGOT’IM! Cody stomps a mudhole in the corner as the crowd finally gets engaged in something, chanting 619 a few times before it dies. Cody puts Rey up top, but Rey blinds him with the GREEN MIST!@! That gets nothing from the crowd. Rey finishes him with the 619 and drops the dime at 11:42.
• I’ve seen this match probably 10 times and have never liked it. It’s a dead crowd that barely comes alive for a spot-tastic brawl through the crowd for 5 minutes and then has nothing invested in the last few minutes either. They had me for a couple of minutes with the parkour concession stand spots, but the beginning is just too many moves and zero selling, the trek back to ringside is Cody forgetting/Rey misremembering a dive that never happens, and by then, Rey’s rana-heavy moveset resurfaces, and the booking makes him a heel. Just an odd mish-mash of some good stuff, but mostly disappointing overall. **1/2
• Next up, the divas are in the back hanging out and Layla walks in and the nonexistent jukebox practically scratches to a halt as everyone stops and gives her the stinkeye. See, the implosion of LayCool is tonight and Layla is the defacto face but everyone still hates her. She apologizes and Kelly Kelly thanks her on behalf of everyone.
• Michael Cole is back in the Cole Mine and rubbing in his victory.
• Loser Leaves WWE: Michelle McCool vs. Layla. LayCool dominated the division for the better part of 2 years including unifying the two women’s belts into the current WWE Divas Championship. They were co-champs, but lost the belt(s) to Natayla at Survivor Series 2010 and hence the break-up and downward spiral. Layla tries to do the usual pose on the ropes but McCool cuts her off and dumps her out to go full heel at the beginning. McCool tosses her into the barricade. Back in, she kicks her down and covers for 1, 2, no. McCool talks trash, so Layla tries to fire up but gets dumped out. Layla pulls her to the floor for the requisite announce table bump. McCool sidesteps another and Layla eats table. In the ring, McCool covers for another nearfall. Layla ducks a FOOT TO THE FACE and dropkicks her down. McCool begs off, but no go from Layla, so McCool plants her with the belly to belly suplex. McCool throws her to the floor and goes for a yakuza kick but Layla avoids and tosses her into the front row. McCool comes back with a hairtoss off the barricade. Layla counters a bulldog with a Diamond Dust variation for 1, 2, 2 ½. After 3 grueling minutes of non-stop action, Layla can’t manage anymore and breaks down in a tantrum. McCool kicks her down for another 2 count. McCool wants the Styles Clash but Layla escapes for a sweet neckbreaker. Cover gets 1, 2, foot on the ropes. Emotion overcomes McCool as well but that costs her as Layla tries a jackknife cover. McCool nicely counters to the Styles Clash. Delayed cover gets 1, 2, 2.99. Layla rolls her into a crucifix for 1, 2, 3 to send McCool packing at 5:21. Post-match, Layla cries, McCool tries to cry and Michael Cole: “I feel like crying.”
• Not an epic encounter or anything befitting the story they were trying to tell, but it was well-worked. Perhaps, more importantly, this came off like Thesz-O’Connor compared to some of the stuff you’ll see now in the division. Solid story, good counters, and an unexpected but logical conclusion. **1/2
• Post-post-match, McCool is still a bit torn up about losing her job and such. The crowd serenades her with “Na, Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye.” BUT WAIT! IT’S KHARMA! She wipes out McCool with the implant buster and that was McCool’s last appearance with the company as a wrestler. Kharma, of course, would soon after reveal a pregnancy and get some time off and return at the RR 2012 and then never been seen in the WWE again as well.
• Meanwhile, Ricardo Rodriguez is in the back practicing his intro for ADR tonight as Del Rio tells him to dial it up a few notches.
• Ladder Match for the Vacant World Heavyweight Championship: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio. ADR debuted back in the summer of 2010 defeating Mysterio by submission in his debut match. He would stay relevant but tread water for the next few months as it was apparent he was getting the rocket push. Going into the RR, HBK was announced as the first inductee into the HOF class that year and he came out and shut up ADR with a superkick and nothing else. It was a small moment but one that showed ADR was high enough on the radar to warrant an HBK “rub.”
• It was all beer and skittles from there on out as ADR won the biggest RR ever outlasting such heavyweights as Santino and Wade Barrett and he was on his way… Except the world champ was Edge going into Mania and it turned out a routine medical exam revealed a career-ending injury, so Edge got the storybook ending going over ADR in the curtain jerker.
• And thus was the legend of underwhelming, mistimed ADR push born also to resurface during the Summer of Punk, the face turn against Showster in 2012, Ziggler’s cash in and face turn in 2013, and Batista’s return earlier this year. Oh yeah, Christian got this shot by winning a battle royal on Smackdown. Video package nicely plays up that ADR has only been in one ladder match back at TLC 2010 that he lost, while Christian has won a bunch. Also, it loops in ADR’s idea of destiny with Christian feeling the same because he’s never won a (WWE) world strap before.
• ADR is all smiles at the bell, while Christian is all rally clapping. After a pause to soak in the moment, Christian goes to the punches. ADR takes him down with the kicks. After a crisscross, Christian takes down ADR with a burrito. Christian leads ADR through the heat telling him to boot more and then bodyslam him. Cole tries playing the story that ADR cost Edge his career at Mania and that’s the reason he’s gone. Boy, that story point went nowhere. Matthews follows up to say that ADR also took out Christian for 6 months by tearing his pectoral. ANYWAY, Christian takes over with a backdrop and a Euro uppercut off the top. Christian ducks out for a ladder and self-consciously takes his time setting a ladder just waiting for the cutoff from ADR. Sure enough, ADR cuts him off and posts him. ADR then dumps Christian under the ring and gets a ladder. Christian comes out the other side and baseball slide dropkicks ADR and the ladder down. Matthews: “For the first time, Alberto Del Rio TASTING THE STEEL!” Christian sets up a ladder but Del Rio pulls him down and faceplants him. Del Rio starts the climb but Christian shoves over the ladder only to take an enzuigiri. ADR chokes for a bit but Christian comes back and shitcans him out. Christian gets the ladder but ADR trips him up and Christian eats shit and ladder in a nice spot. ADR tosses him into the stairs andn then bridges a ladder between the announce table and the apron. They counter each other with Del Rio’s suplex getting block but Christian’s catapult ending with him getting bumped into the stairs. Nice sequence. ADR tries a whip but Christian slides under the ladder. He heads up top but ADR shoves him off and Christian lands on an adjacent ladder and then crossbodies ADR off the ladder. Nice again. Book: “CHRISTIAN IS A THE PROFESSIONAL AT THIS BUSINESS!” Thanks for that.
• Back in, Christian starts the climb but ADR dumps him back to the mat. Cole and Book continue to put over great ring generalship such as seeing a man climbing a ladder in a ladder match and trying to stop him. A particular highlight is Book’s claim that you can’t learn the king of ring awareness that involves looking at a ladder; you’ve either got it or you don’t. Cole: “Del Rio has got such great ring sense, knows what’s going on around him at all times…” Book: “That’s something you gotta have or you don’t. In this business, YOU CAN’T LEARN SOMETHING LIKE THAT!” We desperately need a series of vignettes where some aimless midcarder can’t get over the hump in big matches and gimmick matches because he doesn’t understand the basic rules of the gimmicks and then trains to correct it. Curtis Axel dominates a battle royal, but only tries pins. Titus O’Neil rules a tag match but then attacks his opponent not knowing they’re on the same team. Jack Swagger lays out his opponent and then tries to blade himself with chairs and the ring bell in a First Blood match. ANYWAY, they slug it out in the ring with ADR trying the flying armbar but Christian countering to the Unprettier. ADR wants a suplex instead but Christian flips out and then flapjacks ADR onto a ladder. ADR sells his way into a ladder waffle from Christian. Christian climbs up but ADR’s got the step ladder and throws it at him for the SABU LADDER WAFFLE! He follows up with an armbreaker off the stepladder. Book plays up the brutality of the match: “Guys, I tell you, this is the most dangerous match in this business, right here, the ladder match, a match that I stayed away from my whole career.”
• ADR mounts for some GnP and poses to jeers. He wants the armbreaker but Christian blocks so he wraps the arm on the ladder. ADR drops the small ladder on his arm again. ADR stacks him up in the corner on a ladder but Christian drops him into the ladder face-first. Book: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, COLE?! WE GOT A HUGE MATCHUP GOING ON RIGHT NOW! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET’S SEE WHAT’S GOING ON, HERE!” ANYWAY, Christian sets up the ladder but ADR pulls him down from behind. Christian counters with a sloppy rana but ADR stops short and catches the ropes avoiding a ladder. ADR wants to backdrop Christian but instead, Christian counters with a BEAUTIFUL NO HANDS BACKDROP ON ADR ONTO A LADDER! That was almost all ADR but still beautiful. Christian preps the “lil sumn sumn” according to Book but ADR enzuigiris him into a ladder ride off the top. ADR starts the climb. Christian cuts him off but they botch the spot so ADR enzuigiris him to cover. Ricardo butles ADR, providing a chair, but Christian ignores and posts Del Rio. Christian wants and hits the SPEARSPEARSPEAR. Book tries to play up the gravity of the moment but the WWE-ese nomenclature about “championships” flusters him too much. Book: “In the blink of an eye, Christian is right back in the middle of the action, look like he’s fixin’ to climb up for the HEAVYWE—THA—THAT—THAT—CHAMPIONSHIP! THAT BELT! SOMETHING—TITLE! SOMETHING HE’S BEEN LOOKING FOR FOR QUITE SOME TIME!” Christian’s almost to the top but ADR pulls him through the ladder and traps him. ADR is climbing and almost has the belt, but Christian escapes and dumps the ladder. Del Rio kicks the stepladder back into Christian and he goes for a senton off the top into the ladder bridge. But Christian moves and ADR eats it. The crowd comes alive as Christian slowly crawls back into the ring. They can sense the end is near. BUT WAIT! IT’S BRODUS CLAY! THAT FUNKASAURUS! He pulls Christian down but gets shoved off into the ladder himself. He blasts Brodus out of the ring. ADR is back in though for the cutoff. ARMBREAKER IN THE LADDER! Christian is toast and rolls to the floor. BUT WAIT! IT’S EDGE IN A CAMO-PAINTED JEEP! THE DISTRACTION ALLOWS CHRISTIAN TO DUMP ADR ONTO A BLOODY MESS, BRODUS CLAY! Christian climbs up and pulls down the belt to win his first (WWE) world championship at 21:07.
• A good match, but one I don’t think has aged well. The story with the immediacy of Edge’s retirement and Christian finally getting the belt are/were the driving forces behind the emotional reactions to the match. But a few years removed from it all including Orton prematurely ending Christian’s reign just 2 days later, you’re left with a good ladder match that’s a few notches short of an epic classic. What are the memorable spots or bumps? ADR’s completely ungraceful dive through a ladder that doesn’t break? The armbar with the ladder? Brodus Clay or Edge’s interference? There’s just not much there. There’s some solid sequences with counters and reversals in the middle chunk of the match and plenty of drama in the final few minutes, but I’m not overwhelmed with love for this match this time around. ****
• Meanwhile, Miz and A-Ry are in the back. Riley says it’s ridiculous what they’re making Miz do and that mathematical he has only a 33.3% of winning. He’s all IF YOU LOSE, AUTOMATIC REMATCH, CHAMP! I MEAN, THOSE GUYS DON’T STAND A CHANCE, CHAMP! BECAUSE YOU’RE THE MIZ AND YOU’RE AWE—Miz interrupts to tell him to can it.
• Lumberjack Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Corre vs. Big Show and Kane (c). From the shards of the Nexus, Barrett went over to Smackdown and formed the infinitely inferior, Corre. They (Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater) managed to pry the tag belts away from the unstoppable Kozlov and Santino. That lasted just a day for Miz and Cena to win the belts on RAW, only to drop them right back the same night. Just a few weeks before this, Kane and Show got their shot on Smackdown and won the belts. Periodically, WWE has the hosses align in a super tag team and in 2011, just months after leaving his brother in a coma and then defeating him three straight matches for the WHW championship and a battle for light and darkness, Kane turned face and teamed up with Showster. Lumberjack match and all because it’s EXTREME!
• Show and Barrett to start. Show goes to the frying pan chops and swats around Barrett. Kane in for the basement dropkick. Barrett bails out and gets shoved right back in the ring. I know it’s only been a few years but Kane is moving light years faster than in 2014 (even if his 2011 version is slow as dirt, too). Sideslam and Kane is rolling. He wants the ChokeSlam but Zeke distracts, so Barrett can shitcan him out. After a beatdown, he’s back in. Show takes offense to the selective punishment from the lumberjacks and starts piefacing them around. He tosses in Tyler Reks and the Usos to get beat up. Zeke blindsides Kane with a LARIATO. He fires up for ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE! SOMEONE STOP THE MATCH! HE’S A HOUSE OF CLOTHESLINES! Barrett in for cover for 1 and mount for some GnP. Zeke tags back in and Kane shrugs off his stuff for rights and he wants a clothesline. A CLOTHESLINE MEETING THE HOUSE OF CLOTHESLINES! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BOTH MEN GO DOWN! Lumberjacks are fired up for hot tags. Show in and plows over Barrett. Hip check in the corner but Zeke lowers the ropes and dumps out Show. The jacks get to lumbering on Show. They put him back in the ring and Zeke BODYSLAMS THE GIANT! Book goes insane speculating that Zeke has upwards of an 800 lb bench press. Show no sells all of it to ChokeSlam Barrett for 1, 2, 3 to retain at 4:27.
• So-so, but too quick to be offensive. *3/4
• Post-match, Zeke is pissed that Wade tagged in but cost them the match. That would end with The Corre turning on Jackson and turning him face. He would win the IC strap at Capitol Punishment.
Triple Threat Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: John Morrison vs. John Cena vs. The Miz (c). Back at NOC 2010, Orton took the belt from Sheamus in an electric moment. Orton’s push was derailed amidst the Cena/Nexus feud and Barrett seemed poised for the strap himself. Both of those went nowhere and instead Miz cashed in on Orton to win the belt in Nov. 2010.
• Miz would retain against Orton at TLC and RR, but also had brewing feuds going with John Morrison and Jerry Lawler. In November, Miz retained against King in a TLC match. In January, Miz defeated Morrison in possibly his best match as champion in a falls count anywhere match. At EC, Miz would again defeat Lawler and move on to face Cena at Mania, who earned his title shot by winning the EC. Like Orton, Miz was also second fiddle in a Cena feud, this time with The Rock. Miz retained at Mania mostly due to Rock’s preference and then receded into obscurity while Rock and Cena set up Once in a Lifetime. Cena got his rematch and Morrison reignited his feud with Miz, stealing the title shot from Truth, a week after Truth won it in a gauntlet match.
• Miz tries to climb out to start and the faces pull him down for the CLUBBINGBLOWS. Morrison and Cena team up briefly for a double flapjack. Morrison sneaks Cena with a school boy for a fleeting 1 count. Morrison blocks a hiptoss with an armdrag and he dropkicks Cena down a few times. Miz cuts him off with a clothesline. He tosses Cena and Morrison back-to-back into the cage. Another toss for each and Miz is gloating early. Crowd gets on him, mostly by doing the dueling Cena chants. Cena comes back with a snap suplex. But Morrison takes him down from behind with a Russian leg sweep. Miz tries to climb out and Morrison grabs his foot for the battle on the top rope. Miz lands on his feet and drops Morrison onto the top rope, neck-first. Cena gathers up Miz but he leap frogs him to get to the top rope again. Miz and Cena lazily walk over to the corner, so Cena can bulldog him down to the mat. Triple KO spot. Cena up first for the doom sequence on Morrison at 3 minutes in. A few shoulderblocks and he wants the 5KS and hits it. He wants the FU but Miz cuts him off with the Skull Crushing Finale. Morrison seizes the moment to slip up to the top rope but Miz cashes him down and GASP, THEY ARE PROTECTING MIZ! ANYWAY, MNM are on the top rafter trading punches. Cole is all over pointing out how they use to be tag champs.
• Miz is almost out but Morrison grabs him to prep a suplex. Cena is up to join him for a double suplex back in but Miz doesn’t get over all the way and folds up in a NASTY DOUBLE BRAINBUSTER! Everyone is down giving the ref time to make sure Miz isn’t paralyzed, while the monkeys in the truck replay the spill about 5 times. Morrison gets up first and Cena grabs him from behind. Morrison elbows him off and then springboards from one rope to the other for the DOULBE JUMP PARKOUR GAMENGIRI! Cena ducks and Miz eats it. Morrison is up with a C4 on Cena. 1, 2, 2 1/2. Morrison climbs again but Miz gets under him and powerbombs him into the cage. Morrison is reeling and Miz finishes him off with a BRUTAL Batista kick. He tries the same on Cena but Cena drops him into the STF. Miz wants the door open, so he can crawl toward the door. He gets his hands on the floor but Cena pulls him back. Cena kicks him off for a gutwrench powerbomb and he tries to shitcan Morrison. Morrison lands on his feet and springs up the cage. Cena chases him down and they jockey for position on the top rafter. Miz, meanwhile, is underneath both trying to crawl out the door. Morrison slinks down the outside of the cage to kick the door back into his head, while still hanging off the top. Slick spot. Morrison knocks Cena off but loses his balance and CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE CAGE DOOR! Miz pulls Morrison back in and Cena monkey flips Morrison who sells it into a Worm. Yep.
• Cena hooks the leg for 1, 2, 2.99. Miz cuts off Cena with the implant DDT. Cover gets 1, 2, no. Miz with another Batista kick on Cena and a few more. Miz works over Cena, while Morrison tries to sneak out the other side. Miz tracks him down to hold him back in the cage by the pants. Lots of stalling follows as it appears someone misses the cue and Morrison finally knocks Miz off and Cena takes his place on the top rope. Morrison knocks him off as well and they’re finally synced up for the STARSHIP PAIN OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE! He didn’t rotate all the way around but who cares. Morrison tries to crawl out. Book: “OPEN THAT GATE, REF!” BUT WAIT! IT’S R-TRUTH! HE BLASTS MORRISON INTO THE STEEL STAIRS! Truth gets in the cage and mounts for some GnP on Morrison. AX KICK TO CENA! Book: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” SHUT UP ON MORRISON! Truth then climbs out over the top which Cole calls “symbolic.” Everyone is down selling while Truth exits. Miz is up first and he starts climbing. Cena regains consciousness and full strength and speed within milliseconds to run down Miz. They slug it out on the top rope for BOO/YEA. Miz hooks Cena and wants the SCF off the top rope, but Miz shrugs it off for an Super FU. He covers for 1, 2, 3 to become new champ at 19:55.
• Another fun match, but one that felt like a foregone conclusion because of the guys involved. I appreciated Morrison’s high wire act with Starship Pain off the top and crotching himself on the cage door. I appreciated the unexpected cut-offs with one guy going for a finisher and the one not involved race for the door or trying to climb out. Even Miz and Morrison both got to be protected – Miz hitting a finisher on Cena but not being able to cover and Morrison having Truth stop him from winning. But Cena was/is just on such a different level than the other two, that it was hard not to feel like Cena and Two Guys for most of the match. ***1/4
