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Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Money in the Bank 2014
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• Here are some previous MITB reviews if that’s your speed
• Scheduled Card:
1. WWE Tag Team Championship: The Wyatt Family vs. The Usos (c).
2. WWE Divas Championship: Naomi vs. Paige (c).
3. Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Contract: Seth Rollins vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose.
4. Goldust and Stardust vs. Rybaxel.
5. Rusev vs. Big E.
6. Layla vs. Summer Rae with Special Guest Referee Fandango.
7. Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane.
• In the package, the disembodied voice waxes poetic about how the MITB ladder is symbolic for the corporate ladder of success – it is where risk meets reward and where fear must be overcome to achieve greatness. But tonight, the climb will be enough more perilous with even more rewards because Daniel Bryan is hurt and the WWE World Heavyweight Championship is now in the iron-clad grip of vacant. We get footage of most of the competitors without their names being mentioned – Cena, Sheamus ,Bray, ADR, Cesaro, Reigns, Kane, and Orton. BUT WAIT! THERE’S TWO LADDER MATCHES TONIGHT! Another is for the regular contract with several former briefcase holders – Ziggler, Swagger, and RVD. Solid package as usual.
• WWE Tag Team Championship: The Wyatt Family vs. The Usos (c). The team division was in a bit of a slump in the early year after the NAO dethroned the Dust Brothers and defeated them again in a cage match on free TV. Perennial also-rans, the Usos, took them on forthe gold and seemingly won them as an afterthought on the road to Wrestlemania. They retained in an uneventful four way elimination match on the Mania pre-show. For the next few months, they couldn’t get a PPV match, but were adopted into the Cena-Bray Wyatt feud as surrogates and thus this match.
• Cole puts over how the Wyatts earned this shot by defeating the Usos in a non-title match 4 weeks ago on RAW. He leaves out they had the same match on two Main Events and the Wyatts also won those matches. But the Usos won on the Smackdown before that and…. you get the idea.
• Jey and Luke to start. Fisticuffs ensue and a criss cross ends with a Uso crossbody. The Usos use some misdirection to bring in Jimmy, but he runs into a dropkick from Harper. Rowan in fo the BIG RED SHOULDERBLOCK AND BOOGER RED CHOKE! After some quick tags, Jimmy slides out of a Meltdown attempt to bring Jey back in. He’s all superkicks and Jey illegally dropkicks Rowan into a school boy for 1, 2, no. Rowan Reds up to no sell, but Jey dropkicks him to the floor in a slick sequence. Jey follows up with the burrito off the barricade that takes a few too many seconds to set up. Back in, Jey with a crossbody for 1, 2, kickout. Harper distracts and Rowan capitalizes with the BIG RED SHITCAN TO THE FLOOR! Jimmy tries to go check on his brother, so Harper steamrolls him and then steps on his face while gloating. Back in, Harper with a slingshot senton(!) while Lawler reminisces about Kris Kristofferson. Harper with a slingshot and AYEAYAYEAHAYEAHAYEAHAHAYEAHAHAHAHYEAAAAAA. Rowan busts out some Baron von Raschke with the claw and tosses Jey across the ring. Cover gets 1, 2, shoulder up. Jey tries a sunset flip and slides out of the way of a leg drop, but Harper cuts off the hot tag with a LARIATO and YAKUZA KICK HOMICIDA! 1, 2, 2 1/2. Rowan still can’t connect on a splash or a charge in the corner and posts himself. Crowd is feeling the tag to Jimmy. A few superkicks and burritos later and he drops Harper with a Samoan drop and another for Rowan. He lines up the Runaway Samoan Semi on Rowan and the Whisper in the Wind on Harper for 1, 2, 2.99. Jimmy with more superkicks but still can’t put away Harper. Jey gets caught in a dive but Jimmy topes out on Rowan and they all bowl over. Cole’s all JAMAICA ME USOCRAZY! Harper breaks up the superkick and dive party with another Batista kick. They dump out Jey again, but Jimmy sneaks him with a school boy for 1, 2, 2.99999. Harper with a Liger bomb! 1, 2, NO! Crowd is major into all of it. Harper planchas out on Jey Uso. Jimmy triesthe unprecedented REVENGE TOPE SUICIDA but Rowan catches him for BACK-TO-BACK SUICIDE DIVES ON USOS! Back in, they spike Jimmy with a double ChokeSlam. Cover gets 1, 2, broken up by Jey at the last second. Harper gets kicked to the floor and Jey is squashed in the corner. Rowan decides to head up top and the crowd comes even more alive, but Jimmy crotches him. Both Usos join up for a double superplex. Jimmy and Jey follow up with stereo Superfly splashes on Rowan for 1, 2, 3 to retain at 13:14.
• Hot match to kick off the PPV that built to an almost perfect crescendo by the end. Having the Usos out there every week to have their match kinda exposes them as heavily inspired by the Young Bucks and Hardys, but they are still a quality team who can go in the right context and this was the right context. Harper is still the obvious breakout star of everyone involved and hopefully rises about being a menacing mechanic. ****
• Meanwhile, a month ago on RAW, Triple H unveiled Plan B on The Shield with Seth Rollins turning on his partners. The Authority tried to keep Ambrose out of the MITB match, but he kept interfering in matches out of nowhere. Rollins asked for him to be put in the match, and Trips obliged, but put all the pressure on Rollins to take care of business.
• Ambrose is in the back and he doesn’t know whether he should climb the ladder to get the briefcase or smash Rollins’s face with the ladder. CASE OR FACE?! CASE OR FACE?! WHY NOTH BOTH! He says when he gets the briefcase “Daddy’s gonna be at you.”
• WWE Divas Championship: Naomi vs. Paige (c). Paige ousted AJ as Diva’s champ the night after Mania. Naomi took her down in a non-title match on Main Event, but Cameron seems the most eager to celebrate and take credit of the two Funkettes. Let’s get to it. Naomi rolls through a TD attempt and they tumble to the floor without releasing the lockup. The ref forces a break and finally back in, they both go for dropkicks but whiff. Paige covers with a tilt-a-whirl bulldog or some shit and Naomi bails out. Naomi recovers and hair tosses Paige to the floor in a slick spot and follows with a plancha. Back in, Naomi with a dropkick and a crossbody but Paige rolls through as they trade nearfalls. Naomi with up and over into an O’Connor Roll and MOARNEARFALLS! Naomi counters into a Reverse Crab in an awesome spot as the story of the match remains whether or not Cameron’s facial expression is closer to intensity or disinterest. Naomi heads up top but Paige cuts her off. They botch a superplex and eat it to the mat. Double down but both beat the count at 9. Paige rolls through a backslide and locks in a shitty Stump Puller. Naomi comes back and fires up for a burrito and a rana. Butt Bomb gets 1, 2, kickout. She tries a split leg moonsault but Paige gets the knees up. Naomi tries to put her away with the falling DDT that got her the title shot, but Paige plants her with an implant DDT to retain for 1, 2, 3 at 7:04. Other than a few fugly botches, that was a nice showing from Naomi. They told a story, a relatively unique one at that, with almost all nearfalls from the bell through to the end where Paige overpowered him to win. **1/4
• We kick it up to Renee Young who has taken over for Josh Matthews as host of the pre-show. She’s joined by Book, Christian, Alex Riley, and a 12 pack of Mt. Dew. Do the Dew. Sold in stores everywhere. After the requisite round of cliches, we get to predictions for the strap tonight. A-Ry takes Bray, Book continues riding Orton, and Christian wants Orton as well.
• Time for the MITB by the numbers package, copied from the classic RR vignette for years.
• Paul Revere vs. Adam Rose. Rose got the bump up from nXt but was almost instantly forgotten, so let’s instead talk about Sandow. Sandow couldn’t buy a victory for the first part of 2014 because he was saddled with the dreaded “losing streak” push that has gotten over exactly no one. Sandow then transitioned into a comedy heel dressing up as everyone including Sherlock Holmes, Magneto, Bruce Springsteen, Abraham Lincoln, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, and Vince McMahon. Of course, this would all ultimately lead to the Sandow :60 late in the summer where Sandow grabbed the proverbial brass ring and then stumbled into gold and got himself over as Mizdow later in the year.
THE HALFWITS ARE COMING! Of course, he means the rosebuds – “a bunch of losers dressed liked a bunch of losers.” The man has a point. BUT WAIT! Sandow says the crowd is the true halfwits. Just remember, Boston will always live in the shadow of NYC. That brings out the well-known defender of American liberty and honor, Adam Rose, a mod rock, ska head. He dumps Sandow to the floor with a backdrop, so his posse can exit.
• Rose tries to flirt a bit, so Sandow drives him into the corner for the shoulder surges. Rose catches him with up and over and piefaces Sandow into his own ass. High times in Boston. Sandow cuts him off with the MT knees. Cole: “Paul Revere was a tough silversmith in his time.” Thanks for that. Sandow breaks out the CHINLOCK! YEAHHHHH! Rose escapes but runs into an elbow, while Cole tries to snitch on JBL for telling “Vince is so old” jokes off the air. Sandow wins the world by setting up the Magician’s Elbow with the requisite THE ELBOW IS COMING much to Charles Robinson’s pained confusion. Magician’s Elbow gets 1, 2, kickout. Rose fires up for a few clotheslines and left/right combo. He stomps a mudhole in the corner but runs into a LARIATO from Sandow as the crowd comes alive. HERE COMES MURICA! You’re Welcome gets 1, 2, 2.999. Sandow whiffs on a moonsault and the Party Foul wipes out the Revolutionary War hero at 4:15. Match is ONLY interesting to watch Sandow miraculously be entertaining doing pretty much anything. *
• Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Contract: Seth Rollins vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose. Pre-match, we get the awesome, old-school, into-the-camera RR promos from each guy about how they are going to win. Unfortunately, Rollins comes off like an alien who is still mimicking human emotions.The rest of the field try to shoehorn in a catchphrase in 15 seconds except for Big Hoss Jack Swagger who lets Zeb do it for him.
• In what has to be some of the most depressing booking all year, this match can only rightly be deemed the losers’ MITB match because each and every guy lost a qualifying match to be in the ladder match for the strap tonight, except for Rollins (and Ambrose). In the first qualifier, the night after Payback, ADR beat Ziggler to be in this ladder match, but then the fed changed plans mid-stream, realizing DB was going to need to vacate, and said it was actually a qualifier to be in the OTHER MITB ladder match for the belt. Then, the following week, Cesaro beat RVD and Sheamus beat BNB to further divide the winners and losers. In case, you were worried about the rest of the field, Roman Reigns won a battle royal the following week for the last spot in the main event, that also had BNB, Dolph, Swagger, Kofi, and RVD to round out the losers’ bracket.
• Dean is last out and he makes a beeline right for Rollins as the crowd erupts for the brawl. They go to the floor and Ambrose takes him intothe front row. Everyone else clears the ring as Kofi hits a burrito on RVD. Kofi gets a ladder, but Swagger shoves it back into him. Kofi uses Swagger as a fulcrum and runs UP the ladder and dives onto RVD. Bluechipper dropkick on Swagger who has to roll into place on the ladder in a bad spot. Kofi kicks him around for the Boom Drop on a ladder. Kofi then dumps out Swagger with the ladder. Kofi starts the climb but Ambrose is back in to shove the ladder over. Kofi steals the Young Bucks spot and springboards off the top rope with a DOUBLE JUMP TOPE! Crowd loves that one, but they need to see PWG TEN. ANYWAY, Rollins and Ambrose are now fighting over the climb and Ambrose trashes Rollins into the ladder. They fight over a suplex on a ladder and Ambrose plants him and Rollins sells it gloriously. Swagger cuts off Ambrose, but they can’t decide who’ll go first; Everyone in to fight for the climb. Kofi and Dolph race up, but Swagger in again. Ambrose dumps out Swagger and gets clotheslined out himself. Kofi and Dolph literally run up the ladder and then pull each other down by the hair. Rollins back in and takes out both using the ladder as a joust. RVD takes over on Rollins with the usual ending in a monkey flip. Spinwheel kick in the corner on the ladder follows and Van Dam wants the corner to corner Rolling Thunder on the ladder. Nice. Ambrose in only to get kicked out by RVD. RVD cleans house including a slick spot where he fakes out Dolph using the ladder as a low bridge and superkicks him down. Mule kick on Swagger. 5SFS on Swagger. RVDRVDRVDRVDRVD. RVD climbs up but Kofi is up to meet him at the summit. RVD takes a nasty, perhaps unintended spill on a ladder. RVD and Kofi pair up to take out Swagger then implode on each other.
• RVD avoids a shitcan with a Stun Gun. They battle on the turnbuckle, but Swagger’s got a ladder and he’s all WE THE PEOPLE and disposes of Kofi and stands up the ladder in the corner. RVD knocks Swagger to the mat. ROB! VAN! DAM! THE! WHOLE! F’N! SHOW! MR! MONDAY! NIGHT! MR! PAY! PER! VIEW! 4:20! As you can imagine, RVD gloats a little too long and Rollins cuts him off. Swagger back up for an MDK BOMB ON RVD OFF THE LADDER! Ambrose back up for the SUPERPLEX OFF THE LADDER! After a cool down for selling, Ziggler is in but Swagger catapults him into the ladder into Ambrose. Swagger tosses Kofi and drops a ladder on him. VaderBomb and Kofi rolls to the floor. Swagger climbs and RVD is with him. Ambrose gets a measure of revenge on Swagger and clotheslines him down. Rollins pulls RVD off thetop. Rollins and Ambrose race up again and they slug it out up top . Ambrose drops him with a haymaker. Swagger tries the desperation cut off but gets caught in a SWEET DDT! Rollins tries to steal it, but Ambrose dumps him. Ambrose hurt his shoulder on the fall and tries pullingthe Eric Roberts/Mel Gibson route of popping his dislocated shoulder back into place, but even this medical staff doesn’t make prognoses based on 80s movies. The doctors take him to the back and the crowd HATES IT! Rollins is up and almost gets the briefcase but RVD is there. Kofi joins them and bridges a ladder between the top rope and the other ladder.
• RVD takes another nasty fall getting his leg tangled up in the ladder. Rollins almost has it won BUT WAIT! KOFI BACKDROPS HIM ON THE LADDER BRIDGE! BRUTAL! KOFIKOFIKOFIKOFIKOFIKOFI! Ziggler, though, has a long memory and remembers Kofi’s last brush with main event glory that involved dumping paint on Randy Orton’s NASCAR and thankfully, saves him and us from that booking and ends his rally. Stinger Splash on Swagger from Ziggler and a neckbreaker. RVD crawls in to eat a Fame-asser. Swagger gets a ladder that gets superkicked back into him. Ziggler fires up and Zig Zags Kofi on the ladder. ZIGGLERZIGGLERZIGGLER! Swagger kills the entire arena’s buzz with the Patriot Act on Ziggler. Ziggler no sells and keeps climbing with just his arms. He kicks off Swagger. REACH UP, DOLPH! C’MON! Rollins sends him crashing back to reality with a few chairshots on Ziggler. Rollins is climbing BUT WAIT! DEAN AMBROSE HAS COME BACK OUT! CHAIRSHOT TO ROLLINS! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! YESYESYESYESYESYES! AMBROSEAMBROSEAMBROSEAMBROSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT’S THE HEAT VACUUM KANE! He plants him with a ChokeSlam and Tombstone to kill Ambrose and the crowd. Kane steadies the ladder and Rollins pulls down the briefcase at 23:18.
• As always, the MITB comes through in spades with a MOTYC. They got loads of time to tell their complete story and each guy got a chance to shine, which is both a strength and a marginal weakness. The only real lulls were the Kofi/Dolph 50/50 sequence relatively early in thematch and some of the fire ups as literally each guy with a go-home got to hit his entire go-home. In some cases, it went over huge – Ziggler, RVD, etc. In other cases – Kofi, Swagger – not as much. The hottest parts of the match were obviously the false finish with Dolph, becausethe crowd is/was just so ready to get behind him again and everything with Rollins/Ambrose. Kane’s lazy and uninspired run-ins have been a running joke for months, but this was probably the cardinal example of it. ****1/4
• Post-match, The Authority comes out to congratulate him for no particular reason.
• Meanwhile, Orton is in the back and says that his chances are better than anyone else’s, tonight. He knows that Seth is a helluva competitor, but he obviously had a lot of help tonight – help, that Orton himself doesn’t need and won’t need tonight to win the belt. Orton does have kayfabe on his side as he won MITB and the TLC match against Cena in 2013 with no help. Orton ignores a question about Roman Reigns and walks off.
• Goldust and Stardust vs. Rybaxel. Team Pharmacy was on a bit of a roll taking out Goldust and Stardust at Payback in June, sending Cody Rhodes reeling. He took the lose and many others for the Dust Brothers so personally, that he promised Goldust he would find him a suitable replacement. Two weeks later and random partners Truth, Kofi, and Sin Cara ended in more loses to the Wyatts and Rybaxel. Cody finally revealed his last and best option: himself as Stardust. They would climb the mountain one more time and get over the hump against Rybaxel on RAW two weeks before this. As usual, time for the rematch.
• Also, of note, this was the simultaneous debut and retirement of Axel’s singlet. Axel and Stardust to start. Stardust with a hiptoss into a cartwheel and a basement dropkick. Goldust in and Stardust uses him as a stepladder to jump into Axel. Stardust back in and he’s joined by DA BIG GUY! They slug it out and Ryback nicely sells a forearm. Stardust flips out of a suplex and follows behind Ryback for a burrito. Axel blind tags in and lets Ryback eat a few more shots before dumping Goldust on the top rope. Man, Ryback is selling the hell out of everything. Axel hits a dropkick for 1, 2, no. Ryback and Axel sync up a toss into the turnbuckle and shots to the breadbasket and CLUBBINGBLOWS. Not exactly the Dusty and Murdoch. Ryback goes to the knees and locks in a chinlock. Ryback hits his second rope splash and Axel’s off th etop as well and it’s back ot the chinlock. JBL: “COLOMBIA WON TODAY! YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT, DID YA, MR. ANALYST?!” Thanks for that. Crowd is politely observant for this performance art that could be generously labeled as submission wrestling or shits of the not quite drizzling variety. Regardless, Goldust tries to spark up but Axel kills his momentum with a back elbow. Stardust runs up and down the apron clamoring for the hot tag, while Axel and Ryback show off their tag teammanship with STEREO CORNER CLOTHESLINES, MAGGLE!
• Ryback wants a hanging vertical suplex, but Goldust counters into a sunset flip sequence for a few nearfalls. Ryback cuts him off with a spinebuster and gorillas up. Crowd is either chanting boring or Goldberg. Either way, it ain’t good. Lemmings come alive for FEEDMEMORE though. Goldust fights him off and makes the tag. Stardust with several kicks and avoids a press slam for the Rhodes uppercut. He tries a straitjacket, but Ryback ignores to dump Stardust on the apron. He springboards in for a SPARKY PLUG TUTELAGE HAMMER. They repeat the spot, so Cody can hit a straitjacket DDT. Axel shitcans himself, but pulls Goldust with him. Ryback tries Shell Shock, but Stardust drops behind for Crossroads. 1, 2, broken up by Axel. Another time they had me on a false finish. Heel miscommunication and Stardust rolls Ryback up for real this time to end it at 7:38.
• Post-match, Axel tries to get his heat back but gets doubled DDT-ed.
• I cared, but no one else did. I like everyone involved and can always get behind some cheap mustache twirling courtesy of Ryback, but it was mostly lacking tonight. Competent if unenthusiastic. **
• To hype up the later women’s match, we see Summer Rae and Layla fighting over Fandango and clips include split milk, cat litter, and the San Diego chicken. Fandango joins us to say that he loves triangles and that he can’t call it down the middle because he loves both. Summer Rae and Layla argue who has had breast implants and who has the brain of a mosquito.
• Rusev vs. Big E. The undefeated Rusev has cleaned everyone’s clock in recent months, midcard and down including Truth, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Kofi, Heath Slater, Zack Ryder, and Big E last month at Payback. Recently though, Rusev was in a battle royal to see if he could get in the MITB for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and was the last one eliminated by Roman Reigns, so more like haven’t been pinned or submitted on WWE TV (not counting NXT). Big E, though, since last month in the 3 minute NOAH hoss fest that he lost to Rusev, has channeled his inner Coming to America and blown through Jack Swagger and Damien Sandow to get a rematch.
• Pre-match, Lana tells the crowd to shut up and Big E tells him to stand up… for America.
• E goes the forearms early and Rusev comes back with ones of his own. E switches to the breadbasket and bowls over Rusev with a clothesline. Rusev rolls to the floor to regroup and talk things over with Lana. He tries to slide in but E cuts him off at the pass. E goes for the SPEARSPEARSPEAR off the apron but Rusev counters with a high knee. Slick. Rusev beasts him with a German suplex and goes to theBRUTAL forearms. Rusev stays on him with the strikes and applies a chinlock. E tries to ignore, but Rusev destroys him and pounds him back down and cuts a promo in the mother tongue: “Американская, я хочу пойти на переговоры. Я подчиняюсь. Я люблю сержант бойни и Курт Энгл и патриота и ножовки Джим Дагган. Я знаю, вы думаете, что я зло. Я видел Рокки IV и Красный рассвет и Рэмбо и инвазионных США. Чак Норрис это неправильно, но языковой барьер и все. Путь э там старого красного, белого и синего цвета.” ANYWAY, E avoids a splash for a belly to belly suplex. He hooks the leg for 1, 2, 2 1/2. Rusev comes right back with strikes and the brutal MT knees in the corner. Rusev Sickles up but runs into a SWEET STO! 1, 2, NO! E lands a harpoon in the corner and a LARIATO. In a callback from last month, Rusev tries the SUPERKICK HOMICIDA but E hooks the ropes to avoid and drops him with another suplex. SPEAR OFF THE APRON! USAUSAUSAUSAUSAUSAUSAUSA! Double down on the floor as the ref starts the count. He gets up to 5 before E stirs. E gets up Rusev and both are back in at 8. E covers for 1, 2, kickout. E drops the straps for the Big Ending, but Rusev stumbles to the apron and cuts him off with an enzuigiri. Rusev lands the Cryo Kick and Hulks up. Accolade is locked in. E tries to use thepower of red, white, blue, puppies, spinach, and Iowa Hawkeye pride, but it’s Rusev Crush time and he submits at 7:20.
• Rusev is quite possibly one of the best sellers ever at his size and position on the card and slowly but surely growing into one of my favorite performers on the show. These two had some pretty awesome chemistry together as last month was the NOAH beast mode and this was a more traditional, WWE main event style story with heat, hope spots, and such. ***
• Meanwhile, we get footage from the kickoff show where DB made puns on Bo Dallas’s name.
• Both Bellas are in the back and Stephanie McMahon wants to know why Brie Bella is in the house, seeing as she quit back at Payback. Brie Mode shows her new favorite viral video, Steph getting dumped in mud pudding by Vickie Guerrero. Steph has her escorted out. Moving on.
• Layla vs. Summer Rae with Special Guest Referee Fandango. Seeing as both were once the apple of Fandango’s eye, now they’re going to midriff-to-midriff to see who can win the right to second him. Layla takes offense to SR making eyes at Fandango, so they slug it out. Layla goes to the forearms and shitcans her THROUGH the ropes. SR trips her up to come back and exposes the business with a wretched Stinger Splash. SR chokes for a bit and stomps her around. Layla kicks her into Fandango’s waiting arms and then hairtosses her down into the mat. Layla works a few 2 counts. Layla torques the knee into an Indian Deathlock, while Jerry Lawler forgets his 40+ years in the business and can’t name the hold. Crowd chants for CMPUNK, while the ladies screw up a pieface. SR covers with some theatrics and more hair pulling. SHADES OF THESZ!. SR rolls her into a DDT, but Layla no sells to roll to the apron. Layla hits the enzuigiri for 1, 2, 3 to take it at 3:10. DUD. Let’s get outta here.
• Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane. As per the above, most of these guy into this match by virtue of winning qualifying matches, though initially they were thought to be for the contract ladder match before DB vacating the belt due to a neck injury. Most notable, of course, was The Authority banning Cena and Reigns from this match. That is, until Cena defeated Kane in a Stretcher Match for the penulimate spot. On the same show, Reigns swindled Vickie Guerrero and spiked Steph’s coffee to get himself into a battle royal and tossed out Rusev to win it. Oh yeah, the following week, despite losing the stretcher match, Kane was put in the match by Trips anyway.
• Big brawl to start. Orton shitcans Del Rio first to foreshadow later events but neglects to comment on his ethnicity as he does so. Orton and Kane now double team Reigns. Reigns sells in the corner while ADR gets shitcanned out again. Reigns and Cesaro are tossed too as Orton and Kane are holding court early. Bray rolls to the floor and now it’s the Authority’s goons alone with Cena. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Cesaro and ADR dropkick it back into him. They also knock over Orton with theladder but then can’t agree who should stand it up. Bray runs into the ladder and knocks over both. Cena tries an FU but Bray counters and drops Cena on the ladder. Reigns quickly disposes of Wyatt with a Samoan drop. Sheamus waffles him from behind. Kane is back in to tussle with Sheamus. Reigns tries to sneak a ladder in and the voices in Orton’s head tell him to stop it. Reigns with a clothesline and Orton is back out. Sheamus and Roman sandwich Kane with ladders in a weak spot. They set up both ladders and now it’s ADR, Reigns, Sheamus, and Cesaro climbing. Kane revives to shove over both ladders and clear the ring. KANEKANEKANEKANEKANEKANEKANE! Not so much.
• The crowd perks up for a ChokeSlam on John Cena. Kane goozles Orton and helps Orton to climb up. Reigns ain’t having it and Orton takes a nasty gash in his head hardway. Reigns is up, but there’s Bray. ChokeSlam on Reigns and Cena is back in to cut off Bray but gets Euro uppercutted to death by Cesaro. Cesaro and Sheamus up and they slug it out on top of the ladder. Bray Nexuses up and shoves over the ladder as Sheamus and Cesaro are left hanging. Sheamus bites the dust and Cesaro can’t hang on either. Senton on Cesaro from Bray. Orton gets stitched up and he’s ready to go. He attacks ADR and gets another ladder. Sheamus cuts him off and bridges a ladder between the announce table and the apron. Sheamus tries the catwalk but Orton trips him up and DDTs him off the ladder onto the floor. Back in, it’s Orton-Cena part 74838829292023940203948. Thankfully, they are joined by everyone not named Sheamus. No one can get very far in the confusion. ADR whiffs on a step up enzuigiri and gets shitcanned for the 4th time in as many months. Sheamus cuts off Kane with a half-assed Stun Gun to the chest and goes to the CLUBBINGBLOWBARRAGE. Sheamus’s fire up time as he blows through Orton and ADR as well. He taunts to mostly disinterest, but gets the pop of his life as he pump kicks Cena to the floor. He wastes time, so Kane pulls him to the floor. Kane gets disposed of into the stairs. Cesaro decides to break the glass ceiling by building a bridge off the top rope. Cesaro and Sheamus again at the top. ADR shoves the ladder bridge through the upright ladder and knocks over Reigns. Reigns no sells to Yellowjacket up and PICK UP THE ENTIRE LADDER STRUCTURE AND BOTH GUYS! That’s pretty damn cool. They ladder is wedged on the bottom part at an angle. Cena decides to one-up Reigns and do the same thing. Bray suplexes Cena on the ladder and he’s out.
• Everyone back in and Kane tosses ADR, Bray, and Cesaro into ladders. Sheamus is about to win but no one cares and he almost destroys his knee like RVD in thelast match and still no one much cares. Reigns in to SPEAR Kane, but Orton is still around and waffles him. Reigns shoves off the RKO for a Superman punch. Sheamus tries to stay out front and Reigns Superman punches him out too. Reigns sets up Bray on the announce table and hits back-to-back leaping Batista kicks on ADR and Bray. SPEAR ON CESARO ON THE FLOOR! Now, it’s Cena-Reigns face-to-face in the ring. BOO/YEA ends in a Spear on Cena. Orton pulls Reigns down from behind for the neck/backbreaker off the ladder. Bray cuts off Orton with Sister Abigail as the crowd comes alive yet again for something resembling new. ADR ends that hope to boos, despite both being heels. Superkick Homicida sends Bray to the floor. Hmm. Something’s missing. JBL: “Mexico’s greatest export.” Now, we’re talking. ADR climbs up, but Sheamus drops him with the Pump Kick. Cesaro ends Sheamus’s run with the Swiss Death from Below and the Neutralizer. Orton slingshots Cesaro off the ladder into the RKO…. OUTTA NOWHERE! ORTON’S GONNA DO IT! BUT WAIT! Reigns has him from behind again and Orton’s gets busted hardway again and wipes out. Kane ChokeSlams Reigns to kill the crowd. Has Kane pioneered the cooler gimmick? Cena won’t be upstaged in crowd derision and FU’s Orton onto Kane (in an identical finish to next month’s Battleground) and climbs up to become 15-time champ at 26:30.
• It’s matches like this, the 2014 RR, the Elimination Chamber, the Survivor Series main event, and the 4-way at BG that feel like a battle forthe company’s soul and future direction. The fans reactions aren’t split along face/heel lines, but along old and new lines. For anyone relatively fresh, the crowd is into it – Bray, Cesaro, Reigns – and for almost anyone else, the crowd is either actively antagonistic or just bored – Cena, Kane, Orton, Sheamus, ADR. That doesn’t mean the New Breed, so to speak, should win across the board, but that occasionally they need to be thrown a bone. Note, this same divide didn’t extend to the other MITB match; no one was openly revolting against RVD, Swagger, Dolph, or Kofi. Longevity isn’t the issue; it’s the constant push and exposure that oversaturates guys like Cena and Orton into seeming like they have been around forever, when it’s barely a decade.
• As a match, I kept waiting for it to develop into something exciting, and it just never gets there. It’s well-worked and structured as these types of matches in the Fed always are. They gave every guy the “potential winner” tease pop, which is always smart, but can fall flat when the crowd likes different guys than the company does as winners. From another perspective though, the money match for WWE in 2K14 after Mania was always going to be Brock-DB and when DB went on the shelf, there was only one suitable replacement for Summerslam: Brock-Cena. They didn’t have to get there with Cena going over the entire main event in this match, but the outcome was logically at least from that standpoint.
• A marginally disappointing match, if for no other reason than, because it was tame and lacking high spots or clever arrangements – outside of Cesaro’s ladder bridge. The spot of the match was the RKO off the ladder and that’s hardly a highlight for the gimmick’s history. Maybe next year. ***3/4
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