wrestling / Columns
The 8 Ball: Top 8 WWE Stars Who Should Shine at the Royal Rumble
Historically, the Royal Rumble is my favorite WWE pay-per-view. It’s always fun to watch, even when I hate who wins the Rumble match. It’s a signature event that always delivers. The pacing is perfect and it feels like you’ve been through something major when you get down to the final four. As the past year has unfolded, I’ve increasingly come to appreciate last year’s Royal Rumble crowd mutiny. That was a semi-cataclysmic event and it made for a great Royal Rumble, one where the story was so much bigger than the matches. Completely unintentional on the WWE’s part, but still great. This year the Rumble goes to Philadelphia, where the crowd is almost guaranteed to mutiny. It’s going to be crazy, a sure-fire spectacle. If you only watch one WWE PPV this year, this might be the one.
With that in mind, the Magic 8-Ball this week is spitting out the list of performers who deserve to have a big Royal Rumble. It’s not focusing on who should win or who should make the final four. Rather it’s trying to get at who merits or needs a big night in Philly. The Rumble is unique in that it can tell multiple stories and be used to kickstart directionless mid-carders. There’s so much match it enables them to feature a big chunk of the roster. I also picked this topic so that we get something other than a list of the usual suspects.
A few words first about guys who missed the list. The most notable omission here is Roman Reigns. In previous weeks I presented the case for Roman Reigns winning the Rumble and against Roman Reigns winning the Rumble and left it up to you, the 411 universe, to determine the correct answer. It was a lopsided 70-30 split against Reigns. I feel bad for the guy because I think he’s got talent and that the WWE missed a golden opportunity with him last summer. Then came the hernia injury and his baffling return. It’s painful watching him recite the swill promos he’s been handed. The reality is Philly will pour derision upon him on Sunday. The WWE stuck itself in this corner. If the plan really was to put Reigns over at the Rumble as the next megababyface then it should have picked a more docile and compliant audience. Instead it picked the most likely city on the planet to hijack the event. As for this list, Reigns neither deserves a shining push at the Rumble (and the audience will make that abundantly clear) nor an extended stay in the ring. The longer he stays in the match, the more it’s going to feel like a heel turn. Unless they want to make this an actual heel turn, get him in, make his business short and sweet, get him out.
Also not making the list is Dean Ambrose. I love Ambrose, but I think there’s ways to further his story without him having a big night on Sunday. For instance, you could have Reigns eliminate him, setting up an eventual Ambrose-Reigns-Rollins match at WrestleMania. That would draw all kinds of heat and then someone could get a big pop for dumping Reigns out long before we get to the final selection. I also don’t have Rusev or Ryback on the list. They need to run into each other. Ryback probably dumps Rusev, setting up something designed to pay off at WrestleMania. Then some other heel can dump Ryback, which gives the Big Guy someone to fight (and beat) instead of Rusev during the Mania build. That can be a minor story inside of the Rumble, allowing others to have bigger nights. Anyway, enough how who didn’t make the cut. Here’s the list:
Might as well start with the obvious. Last year’s Royal Rumble got hijacked by the audience when Daniel Bryan didn’t come out as #30. The natural consequence of that is this year’s Rumble will revolve around AmDrag. He’s still the most universally over guy in the company and he’s never made much of a splash in the Rumble. He’s only been in two actual Rumble matches. In 2011, he started the match with CM Punk, who eliminated him in the early stages of the contest. In 2013 he and Kane, Team Hell No, defended the tag titles earlier in the event and then eliminated each other during the Rumble. Add in that he never got that extended title run or the SummerSlam clash with Brock Lesnar that surely was in the works, and the stars would seem to be aligned for him here. If he doesn’t win I pity the fool who eliminates him. That’s going to bring down X-Pac heat. For the record, I don’t think DBry MUST win the Rumble. It’s what I would do if I were running the circus, but there are other viable options. Thing is, the E better tell a great story around the eventual winner and Bryan’s elimination if it goes in another direction.
This is where I serve up a reminder that this column is focused on who should distinguish themselves at the Rumble, not who should win (which is a too short a list for this column). Swagger won’t win and probably won’t get anywhere near a win. However, he is a big guy who should be a factor in this type of match and he’s been banished to the WWE cornfield long enough. During 2014 Swagger was the guy who helped Rusev make the leap from generic strongman gimmick to legitimate threat. It was one of the better midcard programs the WWE ran all year. Time has come to stop wasting Swag’s talent. He probably needs to find his way into a tag team, preferably with someone who can talk. Mizdow, who’s one of the most popular faces on the roster even though he’s technically not a face, might be a perfect match. A pairing with Adrian Neville also would make sense — get your smalls working with your talls (tip of the cap to Men in Blazers) — though Neville doesn’t exactly have the gift of gab. Some upper tier guys can have a mediocre Rumble and it won’t affect them much. Swagger isn’t going to get many chances to turn heads at a PPV. If he doesn’t shine here, he’s probably waiting until well after WrestleMania to get anything like a meaningful direction. Twenty-plus minutes and a couple of eliminations would do him a world of good.
At WrestleMania XXX Cesaro won a battle royal that should have kicked him to top tier contendership. He was as on fire as anyone in the WWE at that time. Since then he’s been lost in the shuffle. It looks like he’s back in the tag ranks, paired with Tyson Kidd. Got no problem with that. In fact, they’ll be fantastic together and I can’t wait for them to work a program with the Usii. Still, this is a guy who clearly can hang with the best in the WWE inside the ring. Plus, he’s now become a bit of a ringer in battles royal. It would be a crying shame if he doesn’t send bodies flying. Can they safely execute a swing elimination? That would be incredible to see. The Rumble gives WWE booking the chance to undo months of malfeasance with Cesaro. He should be presented as a serious threat in this match and his elimination should be treated like a huge deal.
Last year Big Red (that’s what I call him) was one of the surprise entrants in the Rumble match and he had a stellar performance. It led to a year where Sheamus was, arguably, the most consistent in-ring performer in the WWE. He’s been out for the past two months with an injury, but if he’s healed up it would make sense to have him jump back into the fray at the Rumble. This has become his signature match, with a win in 2012 and making it to the final three the past two years. In fact, if the WWE wanted to go with a surprise winner, Sheamus would be an excellent pick. He’s got the bona fides and it would be real easy to sell him as a superheel. In general, I think Sheamus could go in a number of interesting directions. As for the Rumble match, he’d be fantastic as #30 and the right guy to eliminate one or both of the favorites, Bryan and Reigns, if they’re not slated for the victory. Soaking up the heat if it’s Bryan (especially given their history) and drawing a big pop if it’s Reigns.
During the past year he put over Brock Lesnar, Cesaro and Rusev. This will be his 10th Royal Rumble appearance. According to the video evidence he won the 2000 Royal Rumble, though Rock still gets credit for the victory. He was the final elimination by He Who Shall Not Be Named in 2004. Technically the Royal Rumble should be Big Show’s event. He’s an enormous human being. It hasn’t happened because of the WrestleMania title shot stipulation, and because Show never got Andre’s booking despite being freakishly mobile for his size and still capable of doing top rope spots into his 40s. I prefer a higher tempo style than Show can deliver, but Paul Wight does not get the respect he deserves for his athleticism and longevity as a titan class wrestler. He’s off the charts. We’ve never seen anything like him, but he’s generally been a jobber to the stars in the WWE. If this were real life fighting, he’d snap most everybody else like they were pencils and pick his teeth with their bones. His job in this year’s Royal Rumble will be to make Roman Reigns look like the new Superman. That’s sad because the WWE is forcing the issue with Reigns and, as a loyal and underappreciated company man, Big Show deserves a truly defining moment in his career. The Royal Rumble would be the place to do it, even if it will never happen.
We already know one of the highlights of this match is going to be Kofi’s crazy elimination escape. The audience would feel swindled if Kofi doesn’t do something ridiculous. Yet they really need to advance that story beyond Kofi-does-a-stunt. You’ll recall at Money in the Bank last year where Kofi came perilously close to hauling down the briefcase and the crowd went insane for it. As much as anyone on the roster, Kofi has come to epitomize being the guy trapped beneath the WWE’s glass ceiling. It’s close to a universal sentiment that he deserves better than he’s gotten during his time in the WWE. Technically he’s getting a bit of a push as part of New Day. Now, I’ll be the first to tell you that turning three black guys into a minstrel show is a horrible idea (and props to MVP for calling that out on Impact). Yet it would be even worse for these guys swallow their dignity and have it lead nowhere. There’s a chance for the New Day guys to pull a mini-Shield in this year’s Rumble. If all three of them get the chance to work together, they’d bring an action/unpredictability element to the match. At least one of them should go deep in the match. Despite Big E being the sort of powerhouse who thrives in the Rumble, Kofi would be my pick because of his history and because you can sell him as the hardest elimination in the business. Get Kofi near the finishing line and suddenly his skillset makes him a serious threat. It should take something extraordinary to get him out of there.
Who’s having a better run than Bray Wyatt right now? He comprehensively beat Dean Ambrose on the heels of beating Chris Jericho and he got a semi-clean win in Daniel Bryan’s return match. If the WWE were a legit sport and it had rankings, Wyatt would be a top three contender right now. In fact, he might be considered the favorite going into this match. He’s done a decent job of recapturing his big-deal-for-the-future status after getting buried in his feud with John Cena. The bookers/Vince deserve some credit for undoing that harm. Yet where does Bray go from here? When does the future become now and how does he mark the time if there’s a wait involved? This is Wyatt’s first Royal Rumble match. He featured in the 2011 Rumble as Husky Harris and helped eliminate Mark Henry, John Morrison and Ted DeBiase Jr., but that was another lifetime ago for Windham Rotunda. Bray Wyatt debuts in the Rumble on Sunday and it needs to feel like he’s stepping into his birthright. He’s going to have a big match at WrestleMania, which means he needs to have a big night at the Rumble. Who knows if those Undertaker rumors are true, but if they are, Bray needs to demonstrate himself as Undertaker-worthy. One possible way to get there would be to have Wyatt win the Rumble and demand the Undertaker instead of the WWE title match. That’s a swerve I could get behind. Bray plays his own game. It also would allow the E to use the new Fast Lane PPV to build its WrestleMania title match.
It’s like he never left us. I think we can tie a bow around the notion that what happened at Survivor Series meant nothing, at least for the main roster. Two months later and the shape of the WWE remains essentially the same. The older gentleman who used to be Sting is going to appear at WrestleMania, likely against HHH in what will be a WCW fan revenge fantasy match. The only other potential meaningful direction from Survivor Series’ biggest thing ever that turned into nothing is that Dolph Ziggler gets a continued push. Zig was the star of the show. It was one of the better things the WWE did in 2014. Then he went on to steal the show with Luke Harper at TLC. The E must keep his momentum going forward at the Royal Rumble. Dolph has an interesting Rumble history. Twice he’s entered as #1 (2010 and 2013). He’s had some quick eliminations, but in 2013 he lasted 47 minutes and made the final four. The year before he made the final five. He’s a perfect pick to pull iron man duty. It fits into his survive-until-you-win persona. I’d even say that Dolph might be the feel-goodest potential winner of this match, even over Daniel Bryan. You’ve got to go back to 2006 and Rey Mysterio for a true underdog victory at the Rumble. We kind of due for another one of those, and Dolph has become the WWE’s top underdog (DBry graduated from underdog status at WM30). If Ziggler doesn’t win, his elimination should be a horrible injustice. At the very least we need to be thinking this might be his year during the latter stages of the match. If he goes over the top rope, we should be heartbroken.
I take requests.. The purpose of this column is to look forward. What could be? What should be? What is and what should never be? What would make more sense? 411 has plenty of columns that count down and rank things that happened in the past. This is not one of those columns. The Magic 8-Ball is here to gaze into the future. If there’s someone or something you think should be given the 8-Ball treatment, mention it in the comments section. I might pick it up for future weeks.
