The Heel Report 11.01.12: Top 10 Heels of the Week
This is the Heel Report. A weekly chart spanning from Tuesday’s NXT to the Raw Super Show, ranking the heels in professional wrestling based on their actions, wins and losses.
Each Week there are ten places, with points out of ten awarded based on these positions. These points are then added to a rolling chart that will continue each week to show who is wrestling’s overall top heel.
This is a place where the heels of wrestling can be praised for all the hard work they do trying to get us all to hate them, so without further ado let’s get on with the report…
Weekly Top Ten
1st Place: The Big Show
I think everyone was surprised by this turn of events at Hell in a Cell. Everyone either saw Sheamus retaining or Dolph cashing in but no one predicted that the Big Show would walk out of Atlanta as the World Heavyweight champion. It makes sense when you think about it though as part of building up a great face is seeing them chase the title as well as gain and retain it. This way Show can hold the title for a little while and then Sheamus can take it back from him, or at least move onto another feud, although who against I have no idea unless Mark Henry makes his return at some point soon. The rise of Big Show has somehow managed to derail the possibility of Ziggler cashing in his case even more; perhaps he will be the first man to actually cash in at Wrestlemania, now that would be something.
2nd Place: C.M. Punk
Your retaining WWE champion! While I’m glad that the Punk reign continues, I’m really hoping that he lasts until the Royal Rumble and can eclipse Cena’s modern record, the WWE sure did pick a lazy way to have him retain. I don’t understand what the point of the creative shake-up and McMahon appearing on Raw to try to boost the ratings if when they get the perfect chance to take things in a drastic new direction and make major changes they passed that up for a crooked referee angle. Lesnar coming down would have worked, or any other possibly returning star waiting in the wings, hell if they had debuted Dean Ambrose as the guy who screwed Ryback that would be acceptable. In the end WWE booked themselves into a corner and now they have missed the window to make Ryback an overnight success, I think they also missed a trick by not including Cena in the match in some way as a second referee or something. I’m just surprised that they were working so hard on the outcome and this and the subsequent announcement of Survivor Series teams are what the WWE creative team came up with, it is just…disappointing.
3rd Place: Team Rhodes Scholars
When paired with the Ryback loss the WWE creative team really are starting to look weak. They had six weeks to book that match and this match for the tag team titles and yet for all the build the best they could come up with is that Kane gets a little bit ratty and causes Hell No to get disqualified. Hell No and Rhodes Scholars are two of the most interesting teams to come out of the WWE in recent memory and I really get the feeling that their booking is falling short. It reminds me of a chess board placed in front of a two year old, all the pieces are there but all they are interested in is putting them up their nose and making a mess. Maybe there will be some good moments in the Survivor Series match, but to me it seems like the WWE really struggled to pad out the six weeks of build they had and our now giving themselves a break by putting all the major champions on Raw in this match so that they don’t have to worry about how they extend the feuds they set up until the event is over.
4th Place: Austin Aries
While I am still bitter about the whole Hardy situation in TNA you have to be glad that this heel Aries came out of it. Not content with being the Greatest Man who Ever Lived, Aries has now stepped up his game even more by pulling some Guerrero-esque tactics out of his bag of tricks to win matches. I also like that he is not clambering for another title shot, he knows he will get one and so he doesn’t have to worry because he is confident that he can beat Hardy when the two face off again, which makes him look like the main event level talent that he is. The best part about his performance this week had to be his line that ‘Cheaters never win’ just after he cheated to win, what a smug bastard.
5th Place: Alberto Del Rio
Hi, I’m Alberto Del Rio, I win every TV match I am booked in but never win on PPV, rendering my character completely irrelevant and completely detrimental to the mid-card talent that is put against me and forced to lose every time just to make me look like I’m not a complete joke. I know that Del Rio can wrestle, after all he put on a decent performance against Orton on Sunday, botch aside. But seriously at this point he is just taking up airtime and space on this chart. Every week I get more and more bored of Del Rio and yet he takes up so much time and grabs so many unnecessary victories that he always ends up on the chart somewhere. Irritating.
6th Place: Antonio Cesaro
The US champ successfully defends his title against the hungry challenger of Justin Gabriel. It looks now like Cesaro will be going up against R-Truth, his first American challenger, we will see if he can back up all his big talk. I’m betting that Cesaro will survive against the onslaught of Truth, but might come unstuck if the WWE decides to pull the trigger on a Jack Swagger face turn any time soon.
7th Place: The Miz
The former IC champion’s feud with Kofi Kingston roles on, but to keep things fresh they will now be on opposing sides at Survivor Series, look for Miz to finally get a pinfall over Kingston in a situation where the title is not on the line to prove that this feud isn’t all just a one way street. I also expect Miz and Cesaro to team up against Kingston and Truth at least once before the PPV. There are only two more Raws that the WWE creative have to worry about before the event, so hopefully they can keep things ticking over until then.
8th Place: Eve
Divas champion, Phoenix has finally gone, is there anyone left to face? I don’t think so. Terrible.
9th Place: 3MB
I’m a fan of the Three Man Band, despite Jindar still not fitting in with the gimmick at all. I really like that the WWE are presenting them as a tag team as well, as it just adds more foundation to the new tag team division they are trying to build. While I still would love to see Curtis and McGillicutty to the stable I would rather have the WWE use them as perhaps the next threat to team Hell No or Mysterio and Sin Cara so that things don’t get stale, there is always room for this stable to grow later if they are successful, and so far they seem to be.
10th Place: Daniels & Kazarian
It’s funny to think that TNA now has less tag teams than the WWE. Seriously apart from the tag champs and these guys there really isn’t anyone left. The easiest thing to do would be to portray two members of Aces & 8s as going after the tag team titles now that the group is officially in company. Or have them be like the Spirit Squad and count the whole group as a tag team, but that has dangerous Nexus connotations as we all know how their brushes with the tag team titles ended. Anyway I’m glad these two are still together after their loss at Bound For Glory, just so I can listen to Christopher Daniels spout off slightly racist promos while sipping an Appletini and have Kazarian in the background, nodding like the dead-weight tool that he is right now.
1. Daniel Bryan (274)
2. Alberto Del Rio (265)
3. Cody Rhodes (243)
4. Robert Roode (235)
5. Dolph Ziggler (184)
6. Mark Henry (181)
7. The Miz (180)
8. Bully Ray (170)
9. The Big Show (152)
10. C.M. Punk (127)
The Wright View:
Slow Motion Inner Monologue
With all the things that happened this week you might have forgotten this little gem on Impact, but I didn’t, I never forget utter shit. Okay so let me set the scene for you, it’s near the beginning of Impact, Hardy has just stepped out of Hogan’s office, where the four potential challengers for his title that night are waiting. Now here instead of having an exchange of words with the four faces, some spirited quips that perhaps build for the match later in the night, Hardy walks right by the four. A missed opportunity one might think, but wait, as he walks by the footage goes into slow motion, cue the dull meandering narrative of Jeff Hardy’s inner monologue about his potential challengers, as if we have been transported to the setting of a self-absorbed indie film that no one has heard of because it is not worth knowing. Now I know that anyone could have been responsible for the decision to do this, and lord knows that the WWE has pulled some stupid changes in format to try to sell an effect and ending up breaking the suspension of disbelief all together, but I just have a feeling that Hardy himself was the one who thought this would be a good idea. You just have to look at his custom belt to see that he is a self-indulgent douchebag with no real artistic talent. He is like that guy you used to know who used to bring a guitar to college and started strumming it aimlessly in the common room as if he was the coolest guy ever, only increasing your annoyance when some floozies would fawn all over him for that very reason. It will forever remain a mystery why people actually buy into guys like this and their bullshit, at this point Hardy is actually worse than Cena in my eyes.
Further proof that Bully Ray is awesome, he rules as a heel and then turns right around and delivers a solid face promo that puts the crowd firmly in his corner and will ensure that they support him all the way up until his surprise swerve heel turn. For once though I wouldn’t actually mind if they did that as it would still buy into the whole Bully Ray as a master strategist that played everything just right, of course whether that happens sooner or later remains to be seen. My final point on this issue is simply that you can tell Bully is over since when the match between Devon and Sting was set up the crowd were audibly chanting for the Bully to face him instead, in TNA being cheered over Sting is surely the biggest sign of being completely over with the crowd.
3MB: Behind the Music
Ah the simple, well written comedy skits are back, this time leaving Hell No behind and moving onto the 3MB, which is a nice progression. This was an overall great way to introduce the trio to Raw, and then to follow up with a win by the team was a nice touch. I like that they are being portrayed as thinking they are in an actual band, and having a diva style about them by claiming that the interview is over was certainly amusing. The best part though had to be Jindar’s claim that he is the fun one and then going completely stony faced, it is basic stuff but at this point the WWE needs to stick to that as before Team Hell No they had seemingly lost all the funny from their product, hitting rock bottom when McMahon thought it would be hilarious to make fun of JR’s Bell’s palsy. I just hope they continue to provide us with these types of pre-taped segments, perhaps doing some with the Rhodes Scholars, as well as bringing back Cesaro and Team Hell No on occasion, and Sheamus and Otunga if they feel like it, what the hell.
No Cash In
I know that Ziggler proclaiming that he would cash in the case is probably the best indication that he indeed won’t be cashing in, but still I think all our patience’s are wearing thin. Ziggler has deserved to be champion for so long now; even he is frustrated with being passed up over and over again for other guys. All we can hope is that when he does finally cash in he will have a really good run with the title. The only problem is that if he continues to lose all the time he might lose enough momentum to make the WWE hesitate as to whether they should put the belt on him at all. The train of logic would go like this; ‘Ziggler is really hot right now, let’s give him the MitB Briefcase.’ ‘Oh, Ziggler has the case now, well he is over enough, we might as well use him to make other guys look good.’ ‘Hey, this Ziggler guy is losing all the time, why the hell does he have the MitB case on him? Who would believe that such a loser could become champion?’ And so the WWE rob themselves of yet another potential star. Now maybe his apparent new feud with John Cena will lead to some ultra-competitive matches and make Ziggler look all the better, but more likely he will be made to look like a joke and not even on Cena’s level, but let’s hope for the former.
Stephen Randle brings the Monday news and views with The Wrestling News Experience
Mike Gorman runs down the ‘Worst Endings Ever’ in Horror with Ten Deep
Joseph Lee hosts the Quarterfinals of the Horror Knockout in A Bloody Good Time
Jeremy Thomas lists the best horror TV shows in The 8-Ball
And finally the 411 staff put them in their place in The Wrestler of the Week
Austin Aries on Impact – I’ve already gone into some of the ways that Aries was awesome this week, especially with his “cheaters never win” line, and who can forget him spitting on Hardy’s crappy championship belt, as well as taking the real TNA title when he attacked Hardy. The specific highlight I am citing here though is after he used the knucks and decoy knucks to defeat Mr. Anderson, as well as at first whamming Anderson and then having him fall on him, pretending that Anderson was covering him, only to obviously kick out, going above and beyond what a heel would have to do to fool a ref into counting the three, Aries then when the ref asked him if he used the knucks made ‘shame fingers’ at the ref, as if it was a terrible thing for him to even accuse him of cheating, as if Aries ever would!
That’s all for this week, Hell in a Cell was a little underwhelming and most everything is basically the same as it was before. Still I suppose things could have gone worse, imagine if they had put Cena in the match and he had beaten Punk in the same amount of time! Now we head to Survivor Series, but I would like to say now that to me TNA is the promotion to watch right now as despite their bell-end champion, it has the most potential for actually decent storytelling, especially now that the Claire Lynch curse has seemingly passed from Impact to Raw in some terrible twist. Let’s hope that the WWE realise that of all the storylines to steal this was the worst one to pick, until then this is James Wright signing off.