The Magnificent Seven: The Top 7 Wrestling Bodyguards

Wrestling has a long history of bodyguards. More often than not, they’ve been heat getters. After all, in kayfabe, why would someone who fights for a living need someone to protect his or her person? Thus, bodyguards have served the role of menacing accoutrements to wussy heels, comedic relief for hapless bad guys, and sometimes more physical managers. In addition to benefiting the protected parties, many bodyguards have used the role as a springboard to their own careers as major stars—after all, to look like believable bodyguards, most performers cast in this role have a monster look; some of them just needed some extra time and exposure to more experienced talents before they could break out on their own.

In preparing this article, one of the surprises I ran into was the diversity of bodyguards I came across—there really is a pretty rich and diverse tradition to the role. Without further ado, I give you the top seven bodyguards in pro wrestling.

#7. Meng

After a lengthy tenure with WWF, the wrestler long known as Haku made his way over to WCW, just a few months ahead of Hulk Hogan and the ensuing brigade of former WWF stars. The Meng character was originally cast as Colonel Rob Parker’s bodyguard—wearing black suits and sun glasses and generally behaving like the bad ass the real-life man has always been purported to be. He no-sold any offense levied upon him, from, punches, to kicks, to chair shots, and proceeded to decimate anyone who dared challenge, using a stiff combination of thrust kicks, chops, and the dreaded Tongan Death Grip.

I dare say that Meng was about as over as he ever was as a bodyguard. As soon as he started wrestling in WCW, he promptly lost the aura of invincibility, losing (albeit in hard-fought match) to Sting at Great American Bash 1995 before receding to a bit part in the Dungeon of Doom and ultimately the tag ranks. But for that brief period of time when he was the monster backing Parker as a manager, he was one hundred percent believable as a force to be reckoned with.

#6. Big Bubba Rogers/The Big Boss Man

Ray Traylor had the interesting distinction of playing a compelling bodyguard character in the early and late stages of his career, with a solid run as a singles character in between. On the front end, he was Big Bubba Rogers, the silent but deadly muscle behind sniveling Jim Cornette. Cornette recounted a great story about Traylor, outside an arena, no selling the pain of having his hand accidentally caught when a car trunk was slammed shut, because fans were around and he didn’t want to break character (author’s note: I didn’t have time to track down that segment of the interview again, so it’s possible I’m misremembering the details of the real-life injury—feel free to correct me in the comments). Years later, with the credibility of over a decade as a singles star, Traylor returned to his bodyguard spot as The Big Boss Man, providing personal security for Vince McMahon against Steve Austin and other faces who would dare cross the boss.

Traylor will go down as one of wrestling’s underrated great big men in the ring, but he’s also more than worthy of mention in the conversation of all-time great wrestling bodyguards.

#5. The APA

And so we arrive at the lone babyface entry in the countdown. There were some things the Attitude Era got wrong, but this was a prime example of what went right as the WWF first paired two directionless upper mid-card guys into a badass tag team, then allowed their image to evolve, listened to the fans, and fed into the men’s actual identities. Faarooq and Bradshaw were two big, tough, strong dudes on and on off camera. So, when they weren’t involved any well-defined storylines, they became uber-entertaining protectors and guns for hire, setting up makeshift offices backstage to play cards, smoke cigars, and drink until someone paid them to kick some ass as the Acolyte Protection Agency (APA).

In most other eras of wrestling history, The APA probably would have been heels through and through. In the Attitude Era, they were rogue heroes and wildly entertaining in the process.

#4. Virgil

One of the great ironies of Virgil as a bodyguard was that he was never portrayed as particularly tough or menacing. He was far more a prop—sometimes comedically so—for Ted Dibiase who, for all of his gifts as a wrestler, was still a cowardly enough heel to feel the need to hire extra muscle to do his dirty work.

As a wrestler, Virgil never made much of a name for himself. But his work as a bodyguard role offered a truly iconic accessory for the Million Dollar Man character, in addition to setting up Virgil’s one and only meaningful push of his career, inspirationally breaking free of Dibiase to be his own man in a run that was entertaining for a few months, before fizzling to see Virgil settle back down as a jobber to the stars.

#3. Sid

Growing up, I was a huge mark for Sid. In retrospect, the man was a slow, unskilled worker with middling mic skills. But the look of this guy—I dare say that there has never been a more superficially perfect looking wrestler than him: super jacked and intense with the aura of a star.

Sid’s limitations were undeniable. Thus, despite getting main event run after main event run in WCW and WWF, he didn’t capture a world championship in the first half of his career. Then the WWF stumbled upon the perfect role for him—not as an in-ring performer, but as a truly monstrous bodyguard for the supremely talented but small Shawn Michaels. The role had the added benefit of poeticism because Sid’s prime time as a bodyguard came seconding Michaels in his feud with his former bodyguard Diesel. Speaking of which…

#2. Diesel

In the intro to this column, I mentioned the formula of bodyguards as guys with impressive looks who filled a menacing role on TV while, in real life, learning through observation of and close interaction with top tier players. I don’t know that there’s ever been or ever will be a better example of that dynamic than Kevin Nash as Diesel. He offered an awesome physical spectacle of a bodyguard for Shawn Michaels and got over big time in that role, to the point that fans were more than ready to cheer him on when bossy HBK went too far, and Diesel turned face and rebelled against him.

The bodyguard storyline paved the road for Diesel’s surprise win of the WWF World Championship, and set the wheels in motion for Diesel and Michaels to square off in an off-beat teacher-mentor, friends-turned-foe, storyline that led to a very good title match at Wrestlemania 11, after which Michaels would turn face for the two to reunite as buddies on equal footing.

#1. Chyna

As Triple H discussed on the Thy Kingdom Come documentary, he handpicked Chyna for his bodyguard, despite the resistance of WWE brass for the combined reasons of her unique look and just how much heat he could get for having a female bodyguard. The plan worked on so many levels. The innovations of a Chyna in the bodyguard role went a long way toward defining Degeneration X as a cutting edge group, not quite like any faction before it.

Sure, Chyna had limitations as an in-ring worker and later proved herself pretty insane. But for those early days of the Attitude Era, she was perfectly cast as a mysterious, intimidating, mind-blowingly powerful spectacle of a female star—and wrestling’s greatest bodyguard.

Who are your favorite bodyguards in wrestling? Rick Rude? Mr. Hughes? Ralphus? They were narrow misses for me. Let us know what you think in the comments section. See you in seven.

Read stories and miscellaneous criticism from Mike Chin at his website and his thoughts on a cappella music at The A Cappella Blog. Follow him on Twitter @miketchin.