The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (2.22.1986)

-Cold open: Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin and Precious make their way to ringside on World Wide Wrestling.

-Originally aired February 22, 1986.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and the returning David Crockett. The Rock & Roll Express steps in to say, surprisingly, and they are not fond of the Midnight Express.

ROAD WARRIORS (with Paul Ellering) vs CARL STYLES & BILL MULKEY
-Mulkey is sent flying out of the ring. Hawk powerslams Styles and dives off the top rope for a splash to get three. That was fast.

-Road Warriors are gonna kick some Russian butt! They’re from America and they’re gonna put it in their contracts that the Russians gotta take their sorry beaten butts to Russia after they lose.

TULLY BLANCHARD (with JJ Dillon) vs MIKE JACKSON
-Jackson gets a SWEET looking armdrag on Tully and holds onto him for a hammerlock. Tully gets to the ropes and breaks clean. Mike snapmares Tully down. Tully backs off. Nice “little thing” from JJ, who dashes over to Tully and whispers something while pointing at Mike Jackson; like JJ spotted something and he figured out how Tully can handle this.

-So Tully shoves Jackson down, as apparently JJ’s advice works. Jackson complains about some kind of chicanery. Tully slaps him across the face and then retreats to the floor. Jackson is becoming visibly angry and Tully has a clear game plan at this point, trying to win this match via frustration. “We want Dusty” chant goes up as Tully connects with a punch and throws Jackson to the floor. Jackson slingshots himself back in, and Tully blocks the attempted sunset flip and backdrops him.

-Tully trips Jackson and shoves him at the same time, which causes him to stumble clear out to the floor. Tully drives boots to him back inside and clamps on a chinlock. Jackson still has some fight in him. Match turns into a fistfight and Jackson wins it handily, sending Tully reeling out to the apron. Tully gets some offense going, and the very second he sense he has the edge, he goes to the slingshot suplex and ends this thing. Good match for a squash!

-Ric Flair is here with a tailored suit, alligator shoes, diamond ring, and Rolex watch, because he knows Ted Turner only wants a REAL champion on his TV channel. So he got a brand new $35,000 title belt from the Crockett family, because they were willing to spend a little extra money to make sure their champion looked like a champion. He brings out the belt, and it’s a BEAUTY, especially in its brand new state with a lot of extra luster to it. The thing just SHINES as Flair shows it off and it’s gorgeous. I still personally prefer the WWF’s unused “Andre Belt” if we’re debating prettiest title belt, but I can’t find fault with anyone who’d rather wear this one.

BARON VON RASCHKE (with Paul Jones) vs ROCKY KING
-Baron hammers King down and clamps on a chinlock. It ASTONISHES me that Raschke is only 45 here. He just looks so damn old.

-Kneelift by the Baron. Muscular young King throws punches and Baron no-sells them, which just looks ridiculous, especially with the weak punch he throws in return, and Rocky sells that. Claw hold finishes. Have I mentioned how silly the claw looks when it’s done to a guy with an afro that thick? Because Rocky ought to be able to hang on for at LEAST 30 minutes.

-Jimmy Garvin says that you’re not on the wrong channel. This IS the NWA and this IS TBS, but he’s arrived here in Atlanta. And clearly Atlanta was waiting for him because a bunch of ladies swarmed him when the limo pulled up. He says he’ll only wrestle at the big arenas though. He won’t wrestle in the TBS studio because there’s no competition worth showing up for. Nope, not even that Maggot TA guy that he keeps hearing about. Also, Dusty Rhodes is no challenge for him because while Jimmy Garvin strenuously avoids red meat and sugar, Dusty CLEARLY does not. Just awesome promo from Jimmy. Not “all time great promos” list or anything, but that was just a fantastic job of covering everything you need to know about the character in only two minutes.

TEIJO KHAN (with Paul Jones) vs GEORGE SOUTH
-Khan drives a bunch of knees into the midsection and chokes South over the middle rope. Crowd is just shockingly into Teijo, chanting “Kill! Kill! Kill!” as he strangles South and hammers away at him. Series of chops by Khan, who looks like Nick Offerman with a Mohawk. Powerslam gets three.

-Dusty Rhodes is here with the National Heavyweight Title and Baby Doll. Tully Blanchard has not made good on his promise to take the title within fourteen days. Dusty says that title matches make a champion, not a pretty belt that the promoters just hand to him. He thanks Mutha Naitcha for giving him Baby Doll.

RON GARVIN vs BOB OWENS
-Garvin gets Owens on the mat and snaps the hamstring. Owens throws punches. Garvin chops back and rakes the back. Garvin pretzels the poor guy and chops him while he’s tied up. Suplex by Garvin, and he follows with, of all moves, a pink belly. “Murder him!” chant goes up. Hands of stone finally put Owens out of his misery, but Garvin just chops away at his unconsciously body after the bell. Poor guy’s chest is bright red.

-Ron Garvin says that anybody who likes Ric Flair must have cheered for Hitler and Charles Manson, too. He promises Ric Flair that a son of a plumber was the NWA Champion once, and by the end of 1986, an former truck driver is gonna be the champ.

-Back from the break, Ric Flair struts out and says hello to a special lady in Minnesota who writes him a letter every week, and he promises that next time he’s in town, she’s gonna find out what’s causin’ all this. He announces that Cousin Arn will be his tag team partner for the Crockett Cup, and that’s money in the bank.

TV TITLE: ARN ANDERSON (Champion) vs DENNY BROWN (Jr. Heavyweight Champion)
-Another challenger as champion for Arn. Ric stays with David & Tony for guest commentary.

-Arn shoves Denny a little bit. Denny just knocks him on his ass with one punch. Arn clamps on a side headlock as Ric subtly puts over Denny, saying he expects Denny to last twenty minutes, but that’s still not going to be enough to beat Cousin Arn.

-Arn tries a hammerlock, but Denny armdrags him and gets him down on the mat for an armbar. Fans chant “Break it off!” while Flair goes on a hilarious rant about Ricky Morton, “Hoot Gibson,” and their teenybopper fans who wear training underwear.

-Denny stays on Arn’s arm, and Flair is calm as can be, saying that the longer the match goes on, the more it favors Arn because he’s just getting warmed-up. I wish we could have had a match between Greg Valentine and Arn Anderson; we could have called it a “Warm Up-Off” and had a rule that pinfall attempts wouldn’t be counted until after that fifteen-minute mark, Brain.

-Arn is firmly in control as Ric goes up to ringside for a closer look. Dusty Rhodes, wearing a jacket that he can’t possibly zip up, comes out to keep an eye on him. Group of frat boys is in the crowd this week and they’re all over Ric with “Go home Ric!” chants.

-Arn & Denny slug it out. Arn targets the eyes with his kneepad and drops Denny right across the top rope. Bodyscissors by Arn, and he rolls over to make it a pinning combo for two. Arn tosses Denny out to the floor. Denny tries to slingshot himself back in for a sunset flip, but Arn blocks it with a right hand. Denny manages to get a backdrop and a forearm for two. Denny tries for another backdrop, but Arn turns it into a Gourdbuster for three. Honestly, a little sluggish. Lot of holds and a lot of nothing else.

-Dusty & Magnum get into the ring afterward, demanding a fight. Ric & Arn talk about how weak it looks to come out demanding a fight against somebody who just won clean as a sheet after a fifteen-minute match. To be honest, that’s a completely valid point.

-We see footage of a recent house show with Ron Garvin and Ric Flair. They go to a one-hour draw, which means the match is over, but Flair “ain’t tired yet” so he demands they finish this thing. Garvin knocks him right the hell out with the hands of stone and pins Flair. Tommy Young counts the pin, but declares that Flair is still champion because the time limit DID expire and Flair’s hubris doesn’t change that.

-Flair says that if Garvin keeps messing with him, he’ll do exactly what he did to Dusty Rhodes a few months ago.

-David Crockett says that the venue for the Crockett Cup HAS been selected, and he has “permission” to announce it next week. It’s your company, dude.

BARBARIAN (with Paul Jones) vs KENT GLOVER
-Barbarian shoulderblocks Glover all over the place and then boots him down. Backbreaker by Barbarian as the commentators remind us that Ron Bass still wants a piece of this guy and the challenge is going unanswered. Diving headbutt by Barbarian gets three.

-Rock & Roll Express are habitual liars, says Jim Cornette. He’s not a gorilla, a parrot, or a criminal. He has a letter that his mother wrote to the NWA explaining her son’s fear of heights and that the NWA had better not hoist that cage 150 feet in the air like they’re saying they will.

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (World Tag Team Champions) vs MIKE SIMANI & LARRY CLARKE
-Dennis Condrey goes to the mat while Corny confirms that the Midnight Express has entered the Crockett Cup, and as great as Arn Anderson & Ric Flair are individually, their weakness is their total lack of experience as a team.

-Suplex by Bobby Eaton. He goes for the pin, then gently rolls the jobber over and says the referee “Dang! He kicked out!” Condrey tosses Mike Simani out to the floor with an audible smack. Cornette props him up for a clothesline off the top by Eaton, which looks amazing. Clarke tags in and is promptly killed by an Eaton knee from the top rope. Condrey legsweeps him facefirst into the mat and pins him.

-Rock & Roll Express show up, which the fans weren’t expecting at ALL and they go insane, and Ricky & Robert are swinging tennis racquets at anything that moves. Midnights get out of Dodge before contact is made.

-Tully Blanchard Enterprises is here. Tully announces that he’s entering the Crockett Cup but that he hasn’t selected a partner yet. JJ refers to Jimmy Garvin as an “old friend,” however, and suggests that he’ll be making a phone call shortly.

ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs BLACK BART & THUNDERFOOT
-They should call the jobbers in this match “The Castaways.” And I think it’s funny that JJ was apparently the only thing that made these guys credible opponents to anybody.

-Morton clears the ring by himself to start off. Jobbers regain their bearings, but Thunderfoot gets dropkicked out of the ring AGAIN. Gibson backdrops Bart and Morton tags back in to do his thing. JJ’s Garbage double-clotheslines him and Thunderfoot connects with an axehandle from the top rope. Shoulderbreaker follows as Yesterday’s News double-backdrops him.

-Thunderfoot rakes Ricky’s eyes so hard that he falls toward his corner and makes the tag. Katie sufficiently bars the door until Bart charges at Ricky, misses, and launches himself over the top and onto the concrete. Double dropkick on Thunderfoot gets the win.

-Road Warriors tell the Neo Mexi Zoobdweebies in New York to get ready for the double-chain matches coming to their area.

-The Koloffs are here, Nikita’s in street clothes because, of ourse, he’s not wrestling on TV. They complain that Magnum TA is ducking Nikita while Magnum stands in the ring giving them the ol’ stinkeye.

MAGNUM TA (US Champion) vs BILL TABB
-Magnum has something to prove now, so he throws a dropkick first and then does the belly-to-belly to win.

-Magnum is ready for a match right now. Ivan holds back Nikita and tries to talk him out of this, but Magnum comes out to the floor and attacks, and we finish the show with a nice curtain call, as everybody that we’ve seen in the past two hours runs out to break up the fight, but they can’t keep these guys apart. WE’RE OUTTA TIME!

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

Weird show, only in the sense that the feature match was less fun than the squash matches. Still a good show, though.