The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (8.16.1986)

-Cold open: Magnum dropkicks Nikita Koloff out to the floor and the crowd takes the biggest collective dump of joy ever.

-Originally aired August 16, 1986.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, David Crockett, & Jim Cornette (wearing an “I love me” button). Tony doesn’t waste any time, announcing that Ric Flair recaptured the NWA World Heavyweight Title in St. Louis, but a prior match in Kansas City may have significantly influenced the outcome. Also, the Best of 7 series that really should have concluded during the Bash tour is tied 3-3.

-Side note: Thanks to the marvelous Observer Recaps at Scott’s Blog of Doom, there are two fascinating footnotes to that Best of 7 series between Magnum and Nikita from Dave Meltzer’s reports in the summer of 1986. The first was that Crockett was already planning a Nikita Koloff face turn (due to a Nikita t-shirt unexpectedly selling like hotcakes at every house show), so Magnum’s car accident didn’t actually compel them to turn Nikita face, it just changed the storyline reason for it.

-The second interesting tidbit is that Dave, in July, is just shocked, SHOCKED I say, that Dusty booked himself to win the title at the Great American Bash. They advertised Flair defending the gold 14 times during the tour so they pretty much had to have a title change somewhere along the way, and Dave, in July 1986, says that the more logical choice would have been Magnum. And obviously, a few months from now, everybody probably wished that was exactly what they had done, but holy crap, how GREAT a storyline would that have been if they booked a Magnum title change on the Bash tour? Magnum gets screwed out of the US Title in the 7th match of the series (which, in our alternate timeline, happens during the Bash tour because that makes more damn sense) and then on the next tour stop, wins the NWA Title, which puts Nikita in the position of having to chase Magnum. And Magnum, not forgetting the way that Nikita issued a challenge before and then jerked him around for weeks about demands being met, accepts the challenge initially but then just yanks Nikita’s figurative chain all over the place about match stipulations and Nikita unironically whines about how unfair it is that he can’t just get to the match already.

-Okay, so, anyway, there is a show this week…

KANSAS JAYHAWKS vs GEORGE SOUTH & BILL MULKEY
-Jaggers works South’s arm and Dutch works the leg. Jaggers is that really disturbing version of a fat guy where he’s overweight, but his neck and chins are totally unaffected so it looks like one action figure’s head attached to a different action figure’s body.

-Jaggers snapmares Bill Mulkey and Dutch backdrops him. Snap suplex by Dutch, and Jaggers drops the elbow as the Jayhawks keep themselves as fresh as possible, tagging after nearly every single move. Shoulderbreaker by Mulkey, and a Hart Attack from the top rope finishes.

-All three Russians are out, and they want their Six-Man Cup back from Dusty and the Road Warriors. If it’s a Six-Man cup, I hope they’re washing it frequently.

-Jimmy Valiant vows to shave Paul Jones’ head before the end of this calendar year, or he WILL retire. And he realizes that he’s giving himself a short window of time to do it, because there’s only two months left in 1986. Your airdate again is August 16, 1986.

ROAD WARRIORS (with Paul Ellering) vs PABLO CRENSHAW & TOM PITTMAN
-Roadies storm in and clear Pittman from the ring. Animal presses Crenshaw and Hawk demands a tag be made, so Pittman comes in and gets his head taken off with a clothesline.

-Dick Murdoch says that JCP is the only company in the world with talent like the Road Warriors. He mentions he’s challenging Ric Flair in West Virginia tomorrow, and he promises that Flair is in for a tough battle. Murdoch is like a redneck Bob Backlund when he cuts babyface promos.

-We go to the footage we’ve already seen of Tully Blanchard’s premeditated attack on Dusty Rhodes in Kansas City. Tully Blanchard Enterprises is in the studio to again deny that they came to Kansas City to injure Dusty Rhodes. All they came to do was get some new suits from their favorite tailors and show support for their friend Ric Flair. And if Dusty Rhodes wants to blame losing the title on him, fine.

-So now we go to St. Louis, two days later. Referee gets bumped clear out of the ring and Flair takes full advantage, taking Dusty’s leg out with a chair. Dusty is TOO MUCH OF A MAN to take the count-out and retain his title, so he crawls back in for more. Flair keeps attacking the leg. Dusty gets a clothesline out of nowhere for two. Worth noting: the referee is jobber Gene Ligon, and we’re all supposed to act like there’s nothing out of the ordinary about an active wrestler just going in there to work the main event as a referee, but not special guest referee.

-Magnum comes to ringside for moral support while Flair cinches on the figure four. Dusty rolls over, but Flair rolls back. Dusty passes out from the pain, and Flair wins the NWA World Title for a third time.

-Flair walks out, stranded somewhere between Disco Dork and Miami Vice, wearing a white suit and vest with no shirt, but one big-ass gold medallion adorning the chest. The NWA doesn’t specialize in Hollywood or rock music, they specialize in wrestling, and Flair does it better than anyone. Flair assures us that although he doesn’t like Dusty, he respects the man.

-Road Warriors promise that if they ever see a team standing on the edge, they’ll shove that team over the edge to eliminate them. Foreshadowing?

SUPERSTAR BILL DUNDEE vs VERNON DEATON
-Fans are into Dundee, and he’s totally playing to them even though he’s being pushed as a heel. He tosses Deaton to the floor. Landell slaps him around and tosses him back in. Dundee works the arm, and Landell helps “massage Deaton’s arm cramps,” according to Cornette, with a series of fists. Commentary team wishes Dick Murdoch a happy birthday and Cornette says that if anyone told him, he would have bought the necessary 150 candles just to watch Murdoch burn himself.

-Hammerlock by Dundee as this crowd seems pretty damn sure that Dundee is a face. Sitdown splash from the top rope finishes.

-Bill Apter is in his little red room with guest Dusty Rhodes. Another thing from the Observer Recaps: my suspicion about Dusty was spot-on. Dusty noticed the TBS studio audiences turning on Magnum TA so he began making it a point to pre-tape his own promos in empty studios. This is our historic first-post-title-reign interview with the champion. There’s a lot of regional champions, and there’s a lot of movie stars that have part-time title belts, but the NWA Title is the real championship in wrestling, and Dusty held that. He even rolls back a few years on the calendar to take a shit on Bob Backlund by bragging that unlike some other champions he dropped his belt without anyone throwing a towel in for him.

-Paul Jones is here. He’s offered Manny Fernandez a significant amount of money to join the army, and he knows that Fernandez will take the offer sooner or later because everybody’s got a price. Huh.

TULLY BLANCHARD & THE ANDERSONS (with JJ Dillon) vs TODDY CHAMPION, SAM HOUSTON, & ITALIAN STALLION
-“Toddy” is an inexplicably amusing typo.

-Ole works the Stallion’s arm. Arn tags in and gets him in a chinlock. Stallion manages to tie up Arn in an arm wringer and the jobbers take turns working it. Ole tags back in and gets a sugar hold applied on Champion. Champion gets triple-teamed while Stallion protests to the referee. Tully tags in, and so does Sam Houston. Houston gets the upper hand on Tully, but gets greedy and tries to fight both Andersons, and now Houston gets a 3-on-1 ass-kicking, and Cornette correctly points out that it’s completely his own fault.

-Second rope bodypress by Houston on Arn for a two-count. Arn manages to get him to the Horsemen corner right away and Tully tosses Houston to the “brand new concrete floor” (and taking a look at it, yes, TBS significantly improved the condition of their floor in the past few days and it no longer looks like the show is taping in an unswept beachside gift shop.

-Horsemen gang up on Champion, and a double-gourdbuster finishes things.

“Captain Redneck” DICK MURDOCH vs TONY ZANE
-Murdoch steps right in and brainbusters Zane for the win in about twenty seconds. Happy birthday, Dick!

-Andersons come out to chastise Dusty for blowing his one shot at greatness. The American Dream is dead.

-The Midnight Express is here. They aren’t wrestling this week, they’re here to cut a promo, but it’s the Midnight Express, so you know that just means Cornette is cutting the promo, which makes the fact that the Midnights aren’t wrestling just completely hilarious. It means they had to fly in from wherever they worked a house show last night to Atlanta and come to the studio for two minutes just to stand there while Cornette cuts the promo.

-We go to World Wide Wrestling, where Cornette just rips into Baby Doll. Bubba shoves Baby Doll to the ground, shocking the fans, and Dusty runs out with a metal chair and just PASTES Bubba with the thing until everybody pulls them apart.

THE RUSSIANS vs RANDY BARBER, CLEMENT FIELDS, & PAUL GARNER
-Garner gets knocked around by all three Russians. Fields tags in and gets mowed down instantly with the sickle to finish. Nikita immediately realizes that Barber never tagged in, so he goes over and kicks his ass too, to make it fair.

-We go to footage of the Best of 7 series, with Nikita leading 3-2 and one match already thrown out. Tommy Young gets bumped to the floor and Nikita hits the sickle, but Tommy’s not there to make the count. Tommy wakes up sees Magnum’s leg out as a second referee runs in and counts the pin. Nikita takes the belt and celebrates as Tommy revives and restarts the match. Nikita turns around and walks right into a belly-to-belly, and Magnum gets the three-count to tie the series, to an astonishing pop.

-We go to footage of the Great American Bash tour, with Tony Schiavone welcoming the finalists and the winner of the Miss Rock & Roll Express pageant, the one open to adults or teenagers who could pull it off. Tanya from Charleston, West Virginia is a fucking babe, so way to represent the home state, girl!

ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs ART PRITTS & BILL TABB
-Cornette is of course all over the Miss Rock & Roll Express contestants, “entrants in a beauty pageant that nobody won.”

-Robert Gibson elbows down Pritts. Double dropkick finishes right quick.

-The Four Horsemen are here, including Flair, who has actually changed suits since his last appearance, apparently clued in about what a bad look that was. They guarantee that Dusty’s career WILL end this year. It’s funny to hear these guys talking about going to the beach and watching the ladies together when Ole looks like the kind of guy who would notice the one woman with a tattoo and complain about her. They present JJ Dillon with a ring as a token of appreciation for all he’s done, and even though it’s academic, this is the week where they pretty much make it official, JJ is the manager of the whole group.

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

Well, crap, that was a busy week, wasn't it? Everything from outside the studio was just great story-telling, the kind of thing that makes you sad to look back and know that this promotion will go off the rails soon because this has been a really fun time to watch.