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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (10.23.1993)

July 6, 2016 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (10.23.1993)  

-Originally aired October 23, 1993.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. Larry Santo is your Beat the Champ challenger this week.

ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS (Tag Team Champions) vs JUICY JOHNNY & CHRIS KANYON
-Bob Caudle announces some SHOCKING NEWS, that being the Rock & Roll Express have apparently made some sort of deal with the WWF for the express purpose of messing with the Heavenly Bodies. Jim Cornette’s account of this is pretty funny, as he cites it as the exact moment that he realized Vince McMahon never actually made any effort to follow his competition, because the first time he stood face-to-face with the Express, he didn’t know which one was Ricky and which one was Robert.

-That anecdote takes more time to type than the match takes to play out. Rock & Roll Express clears the ring immediately and then finishes with a double dropkick.

-Jim Cornette, wearing a color that I can only classify as “cake batter,” says nobody out-surprises him. Rock & Roll Express tried to surprise him by making a deal with the WWF, but Jim Cornette has a big surprise for them…a surprise called the Moondogs. And amazingly they gloss right past that without a promo or a video package or ANYTHING, Cornette just moves right on to his other talking point: They still haven’t been told who their opponents are for the number-one contender match later in the hour, which is baffling them because there’s no tag team in SMW that can touch the Heavenly Bodies.

-Back from commercial, the Bodies and Cornette are still there and they refuse to leave until they’ve been told who their opponents are. Caudle tells them they have to wait for later in the hour, and they get so fed up that they storm to the ring and demand the match start right NOW!

NUMBER-ONE CONTENDER MATCH: BRUISE BROTHERS vs HEAVENLY BODIES (with Jim Cornette)
-Uh-oh.

-Cornette fearlessly runs them down with an explanation of “management and labor” and tells them that they got a demotion because they couldn’t get the job done when they had the belts. And then he throws powder into the eyes of let’s-say-Ron. Bodies and Cornette gang up on Don until Ron gets his sight back, and the Bruise Brothers clear the ring instantly. Bodies and Cornette get out of the building before the bout can officially start.

-House show promos, and Brian Matthews’ mullet is dangerously approaching 1989 Brother Love levels. Tracy Smothers says that Chris Candido is a dadgum good wrestler, but he’s also a bit of a crybaby. Rock & Roll Express clarifies that SMW actually refused to grant licenses to the Moondogs to compete, but the Rock & Roll Express won’t say no to a challenge.

-Back from commercial, Caudle & Dutch are chatting when the Brothers and the Bodies spill out from the locker room, and we have a crazy brawl all over the gym-like arena. It winds up in the parking lot. The sun has gone down and Corny’s ridiculous suit is the only thing that’s visible in the twilight.

-Things finally get broken up, and the Bruise Brothers cut a simply magical promo. “We’re the best wrestlers in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, and we might not be the best wrestlers in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, but nobody can stand toe-to-toe with us!” Okay, so which is it?!

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: DIRTY WHITE BOY (Champion) vs LARRY SANTO
-Headbutts and a big-ass clothesline by DWB. Chokeslam finishes quickly.

-Tammy Fytch, Brian Lee, and Ronnie are here. Tammy shows off the bracelet and matching earrings that Ronnie just gave her. Mr. Wright is on new medication, she says. Bob Caudle asks Mr. Wright about the Dirty White Boy, and Mr. Wright gives him a long, rambling answer about the match where he won the Tennessee State Titles with his brother. Brian and Tammy make fun of Mr. Wright behind his back as he struggles to give a coherent answer, and he’s clearly not in the right state of mind. Dirty White Boy runs over to the interview area and says he’s taking Mr. Wright home RIGHT NOW. DWB warns Brian and Tammy that if he gets even one whiff of harm being done to Mr. Wright, there will be hell to pay.

“Wild Eyed Southern Boy” TRACY SMOTHERS vs CHRIS COMET
-They trade hiptoss attempts and Smothers finally wins that duel. Next they go for arm wringers and Smothers gets the better end of that, too. Clean break by Smothers. Smothers misses a corner charge, and Comet goes for a moonsault, but Smothers ducks, Comet crashes, and Smothers gets a fluke victory. He shakes Comet’s hand afterward.

-After the match, Smothers tries to catch his breath, saying he was surprised by what a test Comet was for him. Caudle asks him about the triangle-like feud he’s in with Dirty White Boy and Brian Lee. Smothers calls it a “soap opera” and says he doesn’t want anything to do with either of them. They’re on their own to get this crap straightened out.

TAMMY’S TIPS
-This week: dining, including table manners and cooking. She’s taught Margie, her personal charity case, how to prepare chicken kiev, parsley potatoes, a vegetable medley, and a salad. Margie couldn’t find a restaurant called chicken kiev, so she comes back with a chicken dinner from Hardee’s. DAMN, that dates this pretty precisely, because they gave up on competing with KFC real, real fast. Tammy tries to make do with the meal that Margie’s brought, but she’s so grossed out by the sight of Margie eating with her hands that she ends the segment, while Margie is really, REALLY trying not to corpse.

-Darryl Van Horne once again reminds us that he has a seven-foot-tall Egyptian prince coming to SMW shortly. He finally pins down a time frame, saying his new charge will be debuting at Thanksgiving Thunder. The prince has demanded a harem worthy of him before he’ll set foot in SMW, and Darryl rattles off a veritable who’s-who of 90s porn stars and reminds us to treat the ladies with respect when they arrive.

U.S. JR. HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: BOBBY BLAZE (Champion) vs. CHRIS CANDIDO (WWA Champion)
-Blaze connects with a dropkick and Candido goes right out to the floor to deal with the pain. Back in, Blaze goes for a bodypress off the ropes and crashes. Candido throws him outside. Blaze makes it to the apron and suplexes Candido onto the floor, then comes off the top with a bodypress. Both men are in pain as they head back inside. Candido does 50% of a slingshot suplex and leaves Blaze hanging, but Blaze is able to recover.

-Attempted backdrop by Candido is turned into a sunset flip by Blaze for two. Abdominal stretch as Dutch Mantell suddenly declares that referee Mark Curtis is the son of Florida wrestling legend Don Curtis. Well…he’s not, but Dutch needed to keep himself entertained, I guess.

-Blaze begins to mount a comeback, but Candido pulls a chain out of his tights and knocks out Blaze with it. Candido gets the three-count and gets the Jr. Heavyweight Title back.

-After the bell, Candido once again vows that he’s throwing the belt in a river.

-The Bullet has accepted Jim Cornette’s challenge for a Four Faces of Fear match.

7.0
The final score: review Good
The 411
I think the most amazing thing about the Smothers/DWB/Lee/Tammy/Mr. Wright thing is that I'm not sick of it yet. This has been dragging on for weeks but I'm genuinely truly immersed in it at this. And the tag team stuff is holding my attention too, as again, booking tag teams REALLY seems to be Corny's strong suit. Good show.
legend