The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (12.11.1993)

-Originally aired December 11, 1993.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. Dutch announces that Tim Horner has vacated the TV Title due to an injury, and some quick research finds that in fact, we’re never going to see him wrestle on SMW television again. So we have a TV Title to fill, Dutch draws two names for the match, and it’s going to be Jimmy Del Ray vs. Tracy Smothers. It’s a main event anywhere on Smoky Mountain Wrestling TV.

ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs LARRY SANTO & “Nature Boy” PAUL LEE
-Robert Gibson starts with Lee. Lee gets pinballed in the corner and elbowed down by both members of the Express. Santo tags in and misses a corner charge. Ricky Morton armdrags him. Double backdrop by the Express, and a double dropkick finishes Santo.

-The Bullet is putting his mask up against Dick Murdoch, and Jim Cornette is here because he just finished signing the contract. After seeing The Bullet getting excited and promising a big reveal next week, Cornette waves the contract and says all The Bullet asked for was $5,000 in cash.

-We get a crazy promo from Dick Murdoch, shirtless and having a beer on his porch during a legit snowstorm. He’s with two unidentified women who are just completely cracking up at every crazy thing Murdoch says as he enjoys his cold one. He promises to be the master and the assassin over The Bullet. He’s ruined Bob Armstrong’s career once before, and he’ll do it again. Mama Cornette actually arranged a first-class flight and a limo for him to lay a beating on Bob Armstrong, just like the beating he’d lay on that big fat useless ex-partner of his, Dusty Rhodes, if Dusty was around.

-We get a promo from The Bullet, and it’s a Vince Russo Special, as Jim Cornette Forgot to Read the Fine Print and Jim Cornette has to shave his head bald if he loses.

-Darryl Van Horne talks about SMW’s return to Beckley, West Virginia, where nobody finds a 3,000-year-old wrestling mummy that remarkable because every black-lunged coal miner in the state looks just as bad. As a former West Virginia resident…I can’t argue that.

“Prime Time” BRIAN LEE (SMW Champion, with Tammy Fytch) vs CHRIS KANYON
-Lee armdrags Kanyon around and stomps away at him. Interesting stat rattled off by Dutch on commentary as he hypes the Christmas Chaos triple threat match and he says that it’s bout between “the only men who have worn the SMW Championship belt.” Dang, he’s right, only three men in two full years. That’s how you make a belt matter!

-Knee off the top rope by Lee gets the duke.

-Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies vandalize a Tennessee Volunteers sweatshirt with yellow spraypaint across the back to taunt the Furnas brothers. Funny visual, as most of the paint just goes straight through the sweatshirt and doesn’t leave much of a visible mark against an orange sweatshirt. Mike Furnas runs out swinging a football helmet and chases them off. We get pre-taped words from Doug Furnas, on a home movie camera with no additional audio equipment.

MOONDOGS (with Jim Cornette) vs MICHAEL COLLINS & ROCK REGAL
-I like how the jobbers turn their backs for no reason after being introduced so they can be attacked from behind. Moondogs murder them with weapons, get disqualified immediately, and keep murdering them. Detail that I like, Mantell casually refers to the handheld camera at ringside as “the blood camera,” which makes me wonder if that’s just Mantellese or an awesome bit of insider lingo.

-We go to action from Thanksgiving Thunder. It’s the closing moments of the Bruise Brothers winning a street fight over the Heavenly Bodies. Moondogs wreck the Bruise Brothers after the bell.

-Bob Caudle talks to the Bruise Brothers, who practice breaking various weapons over each other’s heads to prepare for the Moondogs.

DOWN AND DIRTY WITH DUTCH
-We get pre-taped words from Tim Horner in a neckbrace. He doesn’t know what the deal with this Kharis guy is, but he admits the guy is strong, and that he has numbness in his hands. He’ll be gone for a while, but he promises payback for the Prince.

-Dutch welcomes Darryl Van Horne, who has a good laugh about all the suffering that Prince Kharis inflicted.

VACANT BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: “Wild Eyed Southern Boy” TRACY SMOTHERS vs JIMMY DEL RAY (with Jim Cornette)
-Del Ray attacks early with right hands but runs face-first into a pair of dropkicks. Del Ray comes back with knees and a snap suplex for two. Cornette sneaks over for some free shots with the tennis racquet, and all of a sudden Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch are here, just to watch.

-But that brings out Dirty White Boy & Girl. Everybody has a staredown on the floor while Del Ray crashes on an attempted splash. Jawjacker gets three, and Tracy Smothers is the new TV champ. Weird finish, as they’re trying to make it seem like all the stuff happening outside the ring affected the outcome, but both actual participants were totally unaffected by it all, and it’s the same outcome even with nobody at ringside.

-After the bell, DWB and Tracy Smothers exchange words. They’re still not fond of each other.

5.6

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

The build to the supercard was fun, but the matches left something to be desired. Squash matches are fine, but the feature bout was really odd, with all kinds of chaos that actually had zero impact on a shortish match.