The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (12.25.1993)

-Originally aired Christmas Day, 1993.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. It’s SMW’s 100th TV show today! Chris Candido interrupts the Beat the Champ drawing and hands Dutch “$200…you know, that I owe you.” Dutch nods and draws Chris Candido from that hat, and Bob Caudle is most indignant about this chicanery.

BOBBY BLAZE vs “Nature Boy” PAUL LEE
-They really should have brought Buddy Landell back here for a meta-feud where he and Lee have a war of words about which one of them is the true Nature Boy.

-Blaze suplexes Lee and throws forearms. Blaze has new tights with one long leg and one short leg, a la Hardwork Bobby Walker, and for the record, it looks bad on a white guy too. Lee misses a top rope splash and Blaze finishes quickly with a suplex into a bridge for three.

-Darryl Van Horne tells all the rednecks out here to stop fondling the livestock and listen real carefully. Van Horne says all the love and support from destitute white trash won’t keep Prince Kharis from destroying Bobby Blaze, and he excuses himself to go “flog the manservants.” Bob Caudle ends the segment by deadpanning “We’ll be glad to do that.” I don’t think he has a clue what he just said.

-We get a Tracy Smothers music video, with Tracy singing. And he’s actually pretty good. This leads into a video package about the life and athletic accomplishments from Smothers’ high school and college careers, and it’s a REALLY impressive list.

-Bob Caudle is with the Dirtywhite family. Dirty White Boy wants the SMW Title, and Dirty White Girl draws a PAINFUL blank and this promo would have totally been re-shot if it happened in one of the big two.

-Hillbilly’s Buffet Night is coming up, and Brian Lee and Jim Cornette are both griping about it.

BRUISE BROTHERS vs LARRY SANTO & ROCK REGAL
-Brothers, now branded “The Bad Boys of SMW,” attack before the bell, but keep it in the ring. They stomp away at Larry Santo. Regal (who I do NOT recognize, but he’s got a good build for a job guy) gets suplexed, and Mark Curtis does a funny spot, perching himself on the top rope to get out of the way of another suplex. Double chokeslam finishes.

-We see the Moondogs mauling the Bruise Brothers from last week. Bob Caudle talks to the Bruise Brothers, and they promise that they gonna tear it down at Christmas Chaos.

DOWN AND DIRTY WITH DUTCH
-We go back to last week, with Tracy Smothers rescuing Dirty White Girl from a drive-by make-upping. Live in the arena, Brian Lee cuts damn near the same promo that he cut in the house show promo. Tammy Fytch calls Dirty White Girl “a street corner slut” and promises that Brian Lee is leaving Christmas Chaos as the SMW champ.

-We go to Dick Murdoch, who’s house-hunting with his wife…I’m assuming wife, anyway…she’s actually kinda cute. Mama Cornette is paying him so well for beating up Bob Armstrong that they’re hunting for a beautiful new log cabin. All he has to do is spend one stinkin’ night in Tennessee and the house is theirs.

-Jim Cornette cries while frettying at the thought that, because of the Christmas Chaos schedule and the TV taping schedule, he may already be bald as a cue ball by the time this airs. He promises that the big dumb jock Furnas brothers don’t have a shot against real wrestlers like the Heavenly Bodies.

-Tim Horner is here with a medical update. He’s not being cleared to wrestle by SMW. However, he is going to be the event coordinator for the Cookville area. Horner basically declares his career finished here, which surprises me.

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: “Wild Eyed Southern Boy” TRACY SMOTHERS (Champion) vs “Suicide Blonde” CHRIS CANDIDO (WWA World Champion)
-Smothers chops away at Candido. Candido goes to the floor and complains to the referee that they were illegal shots to the throat, and the referee shouts back “You’re able to talk!”

-They duel with a top wristlock back in the ring and we get a “one minute remaining” time limit warning. I hope they mean TV time remaining because this match just started. They slug it out and Candido misses a corner charge. Smothers connects with a bodypress as the time limit expires and Smothers retains the title. Bar none the most anticlimactic ending to any match seen on this program since #1.

6.4

The final score: review Average

The 411

Awkward week, with an awful ending to the feature bout and some awkward match hype with everyone having to structure their promos as "This thing MAY have already happened at last night's giant house show, but lemme tell you about tomorrow night's house show." The Smothers music video was good stuff and the kind of thing that wrestling needs more of now.