The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (2.19.1994)
-Skipping February 12 because that one is a last-minute hype/recap show for “Sunday Bloody Sunday Bloody Bloody Sunday Bloody,” so we move on to the next week, and looky here, this one is on the Network!
-Originally aired February 19, 1994.
-We’re in Jellico, TN.
-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. Larry Santo gets pulled for Beat the Champ, so this is at least gonna be an even match. But then in walks Larry Santo with Chris Candido by his side. Candido says that he’s giving Santo a five-minute lesson in the locker room and he guarantees it’ll be enough for Santo to beat Eagle.
WELL DUNN vs ANTHONY MICHAELS & BOBBY BLAZE
-Well Dunn’s debut, and they’re there for about four seconds before the “faggot” chant erupts.
-Blaze dodges a clothesline from Timothy Well and armdrags him. Dutch notes how successful they were in the WWF as we get a censored plug for the Smoky Mountain Wrestling School, and the audio re-mixing here is crazy impressive considering what they probably had to work with on the master tapes. Just crowd noise and no trace of Bob and Dutch’s voices.
-Michaels tags in and gets double-backdropped for two. Stephen Dunn slams him and Timothy Well chokes away. Blaze gets fed up with how bad his partner sucks and comes in to clean house himself, but the referee chases him back to the apron and Well Dunn takes advantage, double-teaming Michaels into oblivion, and Timothy Well finishes with a forearm.
-Well Dunn trade compliments and say they’re here to take the tag team gold! Good strategy! They’re getting a lot more of a chance to develop a character here than I recall them getting in the WWF. I remember them just being really generic heels with smug expressions on their faces, but at least here they’re building an obnoxious “ambiguously gay duo” shtick to define themselves. I’m getting a bit of a Fabulous Rougeaus vibe from them when they cut their promo.
-We go to Sunday Bloody Sunday and the chain match for the SMW Title. White Boy is bloodied and battered, but works up enough strength to do the same finish as every chain match. Tammy Fytch sees it happening and tries to blind DWB with hairspray, but the referee catches her in the act and stops her. As they argue, Ron Wright steps in the ring and kicks Lee right in the head with a loaded boot, and DWB touches the fourth turnbuckle and takes the gold.
-We go to house show action in Barbourville, TN. As a condition of the rematch happening that night, Dirty White Girl gets a match with Tammy Fytch immediately if Brian Lee loses. Well, Brian Lee loses, but he also “accidentally” knocks out Dirty White Girl, so Tammy, in a dress and high heels, steps in and declares herself immediately ready for the match. Tammy splays out across DWG and does a pose while Mark Curtis, completely disgusted, counts three.
-Back to Bob Caudle, with the Dirtywhites, who challenge Tammy and Brian to a mixed tag match.
-Back to Sunday Bloody Sunday, with Terry Funk doing a moonsault on top of The Bullet, on top of a pile of chairs, to get the three-count and take the first fall in the Texas Death Match. Bullet makes it back to his feet and backdrops Funk onto the chairs, then DDTs him on top of the pile to take the next fall…And to absolutely EVERYONE’s surprise, Funk doesn’t get back up, and that’s it. Dory Jr. arrives after the bell and helps his brother brand the Bullet, and Cornette goes nutso on Bullet’s back with the tennis racquet too.
-And then Cornette really rubs it in and demands that Bullet kiss his feet. But then in the lamest of lame cop-outs, Tracy Smothers and Anthony Michaels, the jobber who just got his ass kicked by Well Dunn, come to the rescue, and Cornette and the Funks run away from the jobber.
-We go to the SMW offices, where Bob Armstrong fires and ejects the corrupt board member who was helping Cornette all this time. Armstrong accepts a challenge for a handicap match against Cornette and Dick Murdoch at Golden Week ’94.
-Cornette reminds us that Murdoch holds a victory over, well, The Bullet, and that’s the only way Armstrong is going to get anywhere near Cornette.
-Robbie Eagle is with Tracy Smothers. Smothers waves a $2,500 check and challenges Chris Candido to a bet regarding the result of the TV Title match.
-Jeff Jarrett is here. March 10, he’s going to see the Armstrong Boys at the Armstrong Family Reunion.
DOWN AND DIRTY WITH DUTCH
-Dutch announces that one of the greatest teams of all time, potentially the team of the 90s, has signed with SMW.
-We go to the contract signing for the Thrillseekers, Lance Storm and Chris Jericho. And that’s it.
-Tammy Fytch is throwing the tantrum of tantrums about getting bitten and maybe getting rabies in the mixed tag match that she’s being forced into. God…she was something special before she fell apart.
-We go to house show action, the Heavenly Bodies against the Rock & Roll Express in what Dutch claims is the 58th minute of their bout. Not sure if serious. Bodies retain the gold on a draw, and the Rock & Roll Express challenges them to an Iron Man match.
-Bob Caudle is with the Heavenly Bodies and Jim Cornette. The women know that the Heavenly Bodies can go 60 minutes, and now the Rock & Roll Express will find out too. Cornette personally guarantees 14 falls minimum for the Heavenly Bodies.
BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: ROBBIE EAGLE (Champion, with Tracy Smothers) vs LARRY SANTO (with Chris Candido)
-Candido has accepted the bet, so the winning cornerman gets a total of $5,000.
-Santo slams Eagle down but misses a corner charge. Eagle works the arm. Santo gets aggressive with a HARD chop and biting. Santo pounds Eagle down and a slick edit covers a botched sleeper by Santo. Candido attacks Eagle on the floor, but Eagle tries to sunset flip back in. Candido jumps on the apron and grabs Santo by the wrists to keep him from going down, but Smothers runs in and kicks Santo’s arm, which the referee has decided he’s okay with, and Santo falls backward and gets rolled up for three.
-Lex Luger says he can’t wait to see all the great SMW fans in Marietta, GA at the Amstrong Family Reunion. His delivery of this statement makes me think he doesn’t mean that.
-Candido begs for a match to get his check back, and Smothers says he’ll wait an extra week to announces his decision, and makes it a point to let us know he’s only waiting that extra week to screw with Candido.