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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.20.1993)

January 31, 2016 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.20.1993)  

-Originally aired March 20, 1993.

-We’re at Caton’s Chapel Elementary School in Sevierville, TN.

-Worth noting #1, an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

-Worth noting #2, the town is pronounced “Severe-ville.”

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. The winner of the Beat the Champ drawing is Killer Kyle.

-Commissioner Armstrong welcomes Mr. Sean Yamaguchi, one of the Japanese promoters that SMW is dealing with. Kevin Sullivan damaged parts of the building the last time he was in Japan and told Mr. Yamaguchi that SMW was financially responsible, so Mr. Yamaguchi flew halfway around the planet to collect on, what, a butt stripe on a couch cushion. Mr. Yamaguchi is so irritated about being lied to that he sent for Yukihiro Kanemura, one of Japan’s top stars, for a match against Kevin Sullivan, to teach him a lesson.

-Tracy Smothers is ready for the Tennessee Chain Match at Bluegrass Brawl, and he’s gonna take the SMW Heavyweight Title.

DIRTY WHITE BOY (SMW Heavyweight Champion, with Mr. Ron Wright) vs LYNN FIELDS
-DWB and Mr. Ron Wright are still decked out in their Yankee gear. DWB attacks Fields before the ring announcer’s intros and stomps & kicks him. Fields is just mercilessly hammered by DWB here, and he finally puts the loser out of his misery with a chokeslam for three. After the match, DWB wraps the chain around his arm and does a few elbow drops with it. He wraps the chain around Fields’ neck and then does a circle around the ring to touch every turnbuckle.

-Bob Caudle asks Mr. Wright if he’s been out jogging this week, and Mr. Wright scolds him for being mean to a crippled Christian man such as himself. DWB warns Tracy Smothers that his career is about to end.

-Tracy Smothers promises that there’s gonna be a new SMW Champion at the Bluegrass Brawl. Rock & Roll Express is ready for the street fight, too!

DIXIE DY-NO-MITE & RENO RIGGINS vs HEAVENLY BODIES (with Jim Cornette)
-Bodies play Rock Paper Scissors to decide which two of them will wrestle, and Tom Pritchard ends up being the odd man out.

-Reno armdrags Stan Lane while the Rock & Roll Express and Arn Anderson show up for guest commentary, but not to attack Dutch Mantell because Bob Armstrong has already warned everybody to behave themselves at the table.

-Eaton gets trapped in an armbar by Riggins. Lane tags back in and gets dropkicked and armdragged all about. Lane stops the onslaught with a thrust kick. Eaton chokes Riggins and the Bodies attempt a double-team, but Riggins punches himself out of harm’s way and tags in Dixie.

-Dixie works Lane’s arm. Lane kicks free and tags out. Dixie just says “fine” and works Eaton’s arm. Bodies double-team Dixie, and Dixie is able to slip away for a tag, and now Reno gets to clean house. Reno gets a little too flashy for his own good, doing a somersault before a move and getting mowed down with a clothesline as a result. Alabama Jam finishes. Arn Anderson says there’s a counter for that move. “Don’t get into that position.”

-After the match, Bob Caudle talks to the Bodies, and Corny says he’s going to dispel all the rumors that there’s dissent in the group. Pritchard assures Corny that he’s not angry at Bobby Eaton, he just thinks Bobby is a screw-up and it’s his fault AA showed up and wants to kick some asses. Corny has to break up a shoving match. Corny runs down the history of the NWA Tag Team Title to demonstrate that the Heavenly Bodies are a superior tag team to the Rock & Roll Express.

DOWN AND DIRTY WITH DUTCH
-We go over the rules of the Russian Roulette match happening in Knoxville later today. Dutch welcomes Brian Lee, who says Sullivan has done everything except run him over with a car by this point, so why would Lee be afraid of any match in the Roulette?

-Okay. Buckle up. Bob Caudle welcomes Mr. Yamaguchi and his wrestler, Mr. Kanemura. Before even one word is said, Kevin Sullivan attacks from behind and rams Kanemura into the table. Kanemura throws chops, but Sullivan drags him to the ring and posts him. Kanemura is bleeding from the mouth. Actually, he’s bleeding from all the other parts of his face too.

-Sullivan rams him into the barricade a few times before bringing him into the ring. Kanemura is ALREADY just soaked in his own blood (Dutch: “Ew.”) and Sullivan takes him out to the floor and chokes him out. Kanemura suddenly comes to life with a series of elbows and kicks, but Sullivan pulls out the spike like he’s doing a damn magic trick and stabs him with it.

-And now this angle gets a million fucking times grosser as Sullivan shoves the spike right into Kanemura’s arm. Giant red X covers the screen, which doesn’t make it much better. The camera zooms in as Sullivan shoves the spike in there repeatedly, which is just unbearable to watch if you’re like me and you don’t give blood because you’re too scared of needles.

-Brian Lee shows up with a chair to end this horror, but he’s like five minutes late for that, so that must have been one HELL of a burrito that he ate before taping started. This was the goddamn grossest thing I have ever seen in American wrestling, and I’d like to remind you that I managed to watch the Terry Funk/Sabu barbed wire match without looking away from the screen. This segment was absolutely unbearable to look at, and SMW nearly lost all of their TV stations in one fell swoop as a result. They got REAL lucky on that one, too. It’s not “Oh, geez, station managers are fuddy duddies who don’t get wrestling.” They kinda had a case on this one.

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: “White Lightning” TIM HORNER (Champion) vs KILLER KYLE (with Jim Cornette)
-Dutch reports that paramedics are rushing Kanemura to the hospital as we speak. Commissioner Armstrong shows up and declares that Kevin Sullivan is fined $5,000. Bob Caudle is trying to put it over as the most vile thing he’s ever seen in wrestling, but all things considered, his delivery and cadence suggest a guy who’s taking it pretty well.

-Horner gets the early edge and knocks Kyle out of the ring. Kyle hurries back in and tries a backbreaker, but Horner turns it into flying headscissors and works on the arm. After the last segment though, an arm wringer seems like an underwhelming approach to that goal.

-Kyle finally gets to work with a legdrop that gets a two-count. Kyle slugs away, but Horner comes back with an elbow for two. Kyle tosses Horner to the floor and tries to show off by press slamming him back in, but Horner hooks the top rope and holds onto it so Kyle can’t lift him. Cornette helps Kyle by hitting Horner on the hand with his tennis racquet. Horner releases the top rope just as Kyle is jerking up on him with all his might, so Kyle tumbles backward and Horner lands on top of him for a three-count. Horner retains and it’s 100% Cornette’s fault. GREAT finish.

-Kevin Sullivan says he’s the victim here. The Japanese promoter said he was here to punish Sullivan, which made him feel like a target, and that gets him mad, and Sullivan says he feels bad about the things he does when he’s angry.

-Bob Caudle talks to Arn Anderson. He feels personally sick about what he just saw Kevin Sullivan do, but he promises to do the same thing to Jim Cornette’s men, because he’s sickened by the way Cornette uses people. Arn calls himself “the dirtiest player in the game” (hey now!) and DARES Cornette to take a free shot with the tennis racquet this afternoon in Knoxville.

4.5
The final score: review Poor
The 411
I really need to take a second to sort my thoughts about what I just watched. Yes, it's nice to set yourself apart from "cartoon wrestling" and present a different product, but what really bugs me about what I just watched is this: It's EXACTLY the kind of thing that Jim Cornette would just completely shit all over if it happened anywhere except in his company. And if he wants to argue that the two guys got out of hand and took it further than intended, then you can totally edit that not-live broadcast. This was gut-wrenching to watch, Kanemura was never seen in SMW again so it certainly served no purpose in the long run except to put Kevin Sullivan over as a crazy man who stabs people, which is unnecessary because stabbing people is already "the Kevin Sullivan thing" at this point. It was bad taste and it had no purpose.
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