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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.5.1994)

January 21, 2017 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.5.1994)  

Personal note: If you all could set your DVRs for “Idiotest” on GSN, the season premiere is Thursday, January 19 and it’s two new episodes back to back every single week. Graphics producer Adam Nedeff would sure appreciate it.

-Originally aired March 5, 1994.

-We’re in Jellico, TN.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle and Dutch Mantell. Dirty White Boy gets drawn for Beat the Champ, so The Hornet is pretty screwed, predict our commentators.

“Suicide Blonde” CHRIS CANDIDO (US Jr. Heavyweight Champion and WWA Champion) vs PAT ROSE
-Candido attacks from behind but Rose is ready for him and lights into him with chops. Candido tries mat wrestling, but Rose dropkicks him and rolls him up for two. Candido finally takes control with a clothesline and a slam, but Rose rolls away from a second-rope legdrop and Candido crashes.

-Rose tries a backdrop but telegraphs it and gets booted down. Candido heads to the top rope and finishes with a splash, with Rose kicking out immediately after the three. Pat Rose looked like a million bucks here, which is probably a thank-you note from Cornette because Rose had a pretty good run as a tag team wrestler in the territories.

-Chris Candido complains about being stuck in a ladder match after he’s already given Tracy Smothers, like, 80 concussions.

-Lex Luger is looking forward to seeing all of his great fans in Marietta, Georgia.

-We flash back to Jim Cornette and his men mauling the Rock & Roll Express and leaving Ricky Morton a bloody mess. Bob Caudle announces that at the 2nd Annual Bluegrass Brawl, the Rock & Roll Express will face the Heavenly Bodies in a steel cage for the tag team titles, and the losers must leave SMW.

-We go to pre-taped words from Bob Armstrong, but in a nice touch, the promo tape is abruptly stopped as Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies storm out, saying they didn’t know about the losers-leave-town stipulation. Cornette says they screwed over Stan Lane last time, but they’re not gonna screw over the Bodies again. Cornette predicts that Bluegrass Brawl will be “the day the music died” for Rock & Roll.

-The Dirtywhites promise that Tammy Fytch won’t be able to stand on the sidelines and get away with anything.

WELL DUNN vs ROBBIE EAGLE & LARRY SANTO
-Darryl Van Horne is sitting in on commentary, who says he’s looking for a new tag team now that he knows at least one spot will open up after Bluegrass Brawl.

-Well Dunn clotheslines Eagle around and faceplants him while Darryl Van Horne talks about Bob Armstrong, “the grand old pederast of SMW.” He says that Prince Kharis hasn’t wrestled in SMW lately because of racial prejudices against Egyptians, all of which is much more interesting than this squash match. Forearm gets a three-count for Well Dunn.

-Timothy Well complains that they came to SMW because the WWF wouldn’t give them pay-per-view matches against the top shelf teams. They challenge the winners of the Loser Leaves Town match.

-Jeff Jarrett is gonna give the Armstrongs a wrestling lesson at the Armstrong Family Reunion.

-Dick Murdoch cuts a promo, apparently while waiting in line for Space Mountain, judging from the background. He warns that his match against Bob Armstrong could wind up on the floor or in the toilet.

-Bob Armstrong knows he’s in for an ass-kicking from Dick Murdoch, but he hates Jim Cornette just that much. He’s willing to take that for a shot at him.

-Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch excitedly present a “fitness video” showing how they’re training for their mixed tag match. Pretty funny stuff follows, as Tammy whines endlessly at all the strain of exercise, until Brian just totally gives up on her and halfway through it switches to Chris Candido having to train her, and she still can’t be bothered to actually try.

-Bob Caudle shows the Dirty White Boy & Girl’s training video, and of course, DWG looks like she knows her way around the gym. DWB acts as her opponent for a sparing session and sells his ass off for the missus.

-Tammy bursts into tears and Brian promises to think of a solution before the match happens, IF Tammy will promise to quit whining.

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: THE HORNET (Champion) vs DIRTY WHITE BOY (SMW Heavyweight Champion, with Dirty White Girl)
-DWB takes down Hornet right away and drops elbow after elbow after elbow on the poor schlub. Hornet can’t even work up the strength to stand back up, so DWB keeps picking him up just to knock him over again.

-Brian Lee has already thought of a cunning plan, sure enough, attacking DWB to draw the DQ. Hornet turns it into a double-team effort, so Dirty White Girl comes into the ring and drops The Hornet with one punch, and Brian and Tammy are so shocked that they just book it out of there. Funny ending to this, as Tracy Smothers comes to the ring to make the save, but there’s just The Hornet lying there unconscious while DWB calms his wife down, and Smothers slowly realizes that there’s no reason to be there.

-The Thrillseekers lift weights in the sexiest way that Lance Storm can possibly muster.

“Wild Eyed Southern Boy” TRACY SMOTHERS vs “Doctor of Desire” TOM PRICHARD (with Jim Cornette)
-Smothers takes control early on with a shoulderblock and a hammerlock. Prichard complains about tight-pulling, then takes over with a high knee. Hard chop and some fans actually respond to each chop with a “woo,” so it’s just starting to become a thing.

-Smothers tries to mount a comeback with right hands. Jimmy Del Ray shows up at ringside but before he has a chance to do anything, the Rock & Roll Express shows up to keep an eye on everyone. Jawjacker looks to finish, but Del Ray shoves Smothers off the top rope while Cornette distracts everyone. Prichard sets up for a powerbomb, but the Express dashes in with a double clothesline and Smothers collapses on top as the referee turns around to count 3.

6.0
The final score: review Average
The 411
The Tammy & Brian & Chris Show was pretty great this week. Everything else was just kind of there.
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