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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.7.1992)

September 26, 2015 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
6.3
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.7.1992)  

-Originally aired March 7, 1992.

-We’re coming you once again from Knoxville Civic Coliseum Studio.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell accompanied by bodyguard Carl Stiles. Mantell says that even though he still isn’t feeling well, he’s going to be in Carl Stiles’ corner this week for his match against Brian Lee.

-Rip Rogers, “the best-conditioned man in professional wrestling,” is glad he’s in an arena surrounded by a bunch of fat hillbillies because it gives him the motivation to show the whole world how in-shape he is. He’s going to do squat thrusts for the full hour this week.

HOLLYWOOD BOB HOLLY vs. JUMPING JOEY MAGGS
-Granted, it’s a limited roster, but Corny clearly saw something really special in Holly. Caudle announces that Commissioner Armstrong has a statement to make about Mr. Ron Wright later in the hour.

-Holly armdrags Maggs and then gives him a stern lecture. Maggs shoves him. Holly gives him a second stern lecture, so Maggs flips him over and follows with a slam. Holly dodges a dropkick to take control back.

-UPDATE: Rip Rogers is at 140.

-Legdrop by Holly gets two. Big boot follows. I’ll bet he eats his vitamins BEFORE training and saying his prayers, too.

-Maggs gets a second wind and backdrops Holly. Shoulderblock gets two. He puts his head down and Holly takes advantage with a hard forearm. Flying elbow gets three.

-Tim Horner comes out to cut a promo, which annoys Rip Rogers because it’s taking the attention away from his squat thrusts. Horner pulls out $500 and bets Rogers that he won’t last the full hour.

TERRY “Bamm Bamm” GORDY vs. TOMMY ANGEL
-Mantell says that Gordy was to the Fabulous Freebirds what Paul Simon was to Simon & Garfunkel.

-UPDATE: 546 squats.

-Angel wrings the arm. Gordy punches free and pounds him down for two. Angel tries going off the ropes, but Gordy catches him and powerbombs him with no trouble for three.

-Bob Caudle talks to Gordy, who is absolutely sucking wind after a three-minute squash. There is not a man alive who can beat him, and that’s why he’s entering the championship tournament.

-Commissioner Bob Armstrong announces that the tag team title tournament begins in two weeks, right here on television!

-We take a look at a montage of Mr. Ron Wright interfering in various matches over the past few weeks. Armstrong announces that until Wright signs a contract to manage somebody, he is barred from ringside. Ron Wright comes to the ring, almost in tears, upset at the way that a heartless commissioner could treat a poor old crippled man. Armstrong goes OFF on Wright, pointing out a scar and a knot on his head that were caused by Wright years earlier, and calls him the most rotten person who ever wrestled. Wright says there’d be trouble brewing if he wasn’t crippled, and Armstrong spins him right around and wheels him out of the arena.

-Paul Orndorff complains about the piledriver being illegal when Terry Gordy is allowed to use the powerbomb. Paul’s got a bit of a heel edge to him this week, and his promo skills improve about 300% as a result.

“Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF vs. “Bad Boy” BARRY HOROWITZ
-Side headlock is clamped on by Orndorff. He switches to headscissors but Barry makes it to the ropes.

-UPDATE: 1,064 squats.

-Kneelift by Horowitz connects and Orndorff goes tumbling out to the floor. Horowitz viciously targets the neck , using the edge of the apron and the ropes for sinister purposes while Mantell suddenly goes on a tangent about Brian Lee. “He’s un-American! He hates children, animals, AND Baskin Robbins ice cream!”

-Orndorff fights back, connecting with an elbow off the top rope. Orndorff sets up for the piledriver, but the referee talks him out of it. Orndorff, frustrated, tries to finish with a dropkick, but Horowitz dodges and Orndorff crashes. Knee by Horowitz gets two. Orndorff gets a backslide out of nowhere to get three. For the second time in SMW, Orndorff can only win on a fluke if the piledriver is banned.

-Rogers is still doing squat thrusts.

-Jim Cornette pimps his new tag team, “more dangerous than dinner at Jeffrey Dahmer’s place!” He still refuses to identify the team, fearing that everybody in SMW would quit instead of fighting them.

“Prime Time” BRIAN LEE vs. CARL STILES (with Dutch Mantell)
-Lee chases Mantell all over the ring and Mantell is in big trouble because good GOD Stiles is a slow runner. Every time Stiles catches up, Lee takes a shot, fights him off, and then goes right back to Mantell.

-That goes for a while and an awkward edit covers a blown spot by somebody. Lee slams Stiles to the mat had heads back to the floor, but Mantell gouges the eyes and clubbers him while the referee provides some handy distraction. Stiles applies the chinlock, but Lee elbows free. Stiles tries a bearhug. Lee fights free and kicks Stiles down to the mat. HARD clothesline by Lee, and a powerbomb finishes Stiles clean as a sheet. Mantell gets bumped around a bit after the match before running for his life.

-We get words from Jim Cornette and Terry Gordy reminding us to look for Smoky Mountain Wrestling at godawful stinking hillbilly towns everywhere because Bob Armstrong says we have to.

-We’ve reached the end of the TV hour and Rogers is still doing squat thrusts. Tim Horner comes out to ask how much time we have left before Rogers collects the $500 bet. Caudle turns around to check the master clock, and Horner kicks Rogers’ chair away, causing him to collapse to the floor. Caudle turns around and sees Rogers lying down, so he refuses to pay off the bet.

6.3
The final score: review Average
The 411
Six weeks in, the company has one problem, which is that nobody is really breaking through as a main eventer. It all feels like mid-card stuff. None of it's BAD, mind you, it's just there's no must-see talent emerging yet. Still, though, it's logically booked, and everything is followed through from week-to-week, in a way that looks almost easy.
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Adam Nedeff