wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (7.30.1994)
Loading...(Another old review.)
-Originally aired July 30, 1994.
-This is a hard-sell special for Night of the Legends taped in a studio instead of an actual venue.
-Your hosts are Les Thatcher & Jim Cornette. Corny hollers at Thatcher to buy a tux instead of one of his ugly shirts before Friday night.
-We take a look at footage of Terry Gordy in Japan laying an ass-whipping on his opponents. Terry, in front of his lovely aquarium, warns the Dirty White Girl that she might get slapped.
-Jim Cornette whines about the conspiracy theory against the “new improved industrial strength” Heavenly Bodies and the way the WWF is forcing them to wrestle the Thrillseekers next week.
-With that, we go to Jim Cornette taking a faceful of cake, and then the parking lot attack on the Thrillseekers the following week.
-We go to the made-up and professionally-lighted Jim Cornette Studio, where Corny & the Bodies can’t understand why a team at the top of the mountain would have to roll over for a couple of stinkin’ Canadians. Canada’s full of sissies and they’ve never fought a single war. How are they gonna win THIS war? They don’t even have bass to their voices! You’re gonna curse the day that your mother gave birth to you when the Bodies are done with you, and they’re gonna destroy you in front of all the little prepubescent females in attendance!
-The Thrillseekers give a rebuttal. All Jim Cornette has to do is supply the ass, and the Thrillseekers will supply the boot. Yes, the Heavenly Bodies went to the WWF and became big stars, but that makes this Friday all the sweeter…the Thrillseekers can get revenge and launch their own careers in the process.
-Tammy Fytch is a victim, Jim Cornette tells Les. SMW just doesn’t like managers, that’s all. We take a look at Tammy stupidly signing that contract to put her hair on the line against the Rock & Roll Express.
-Tammy complains about having to be handcuffed to Robert’s brother Ricky for a match on Friday night and then putting her hair on the line the next night. Everybody is jealous of how great and successful she is and they just want to take her down a peg. Won’t happen.
-Rock & Roll Express has a two-day plan in place. Friday, take the belts. Saturday, take the hair.
-Les Thatcher sends well-wishes to Boris Malenko, who is in a hospital and had to decline the invitation to attend Night of the Legends. He also says a few words about Joe LeDuc, who didn’t get invited because they know he’s living somewhere in Montreal, but couldn’t do more than that to track him down, so Joe, if you’re out there, give SMW a call.
-We look back at the career of “Tennessee Stud” Ron Fuller and get some footage of Ron defeating Jack Brisco for the NWA Title in a Dusty finish.
-We also look at Dennis Condrey’s original tag team partner, Phil Hickerson.
-We see a tribute to manager Sam Bass, who managed a who’s-who of wrestlers in the deep south PLUS The Sheik for a brief period.
-We look at The One Man Gang…not that one. Ronnie Garvin. We get some super-rare footage of Garvin against Andre the Giant and absolutely kicking the shit out of the full-size Frenchman. From there, a look at Garvin defeating Ric Flair for the NWA Title in 1987 and then slapping his own head real hard to celebrate.
-An incredibly gruesome photo of Garvin doing a five-alarm bladejob in a match against the Mongolian Stomper is a clever transition to a tribute to the Stomper. We get a brief rundown of his achievements, capped off with a clip of Stomper laying a major ass-kicking on a not-yet-famous Hulk Hogan.
-We look at the career of Ron & Don Wright. They were a successful tag team and successful singles. Ron was “The King of the Hillbillies,” a tough man and possibly legitimately batshit insane. We go to some incredibly funny footage of Ron Wright cutting a looney promo while the play-by-play man alternates between hollering at him and trying not to laugh.
-Onto Don & Al Greene, who were unusually large by the standards of the time and, like the Wrights, thrived as singles and a tag team.
-Another look at Ricky Gibson, who was on his way to becoming a huge star with his brother Robert before he got sidelined by injuries.
-Les Thatcher does a really neat personal touch to cap off the segments, talking about how he remembers seeing the same fans over and over again at shows in Knoxville. He even rattles off a few names that he still remembers and tells them and he hopes they’ll come to Night of the Legends, too.
-Jim Cornette says Doug Furnas is NOT the world’s strongest man and Killer Kyle will prove it in the strongman challenge this Friday.
-We recap the war between Jim Cornette and Commissioner Bob Armstrong and how it escalated with Tracy Smothers, Bruiser Bedlam, the Funks, and Hawk all getting involved.
-We go to comments from Road Warrior Hawk, live from inside his closet or wherever the hell he’s taping these promos.
-Jim Cornette says that even if Ron Wright has a heart blacker than Harlem at midnight, he’ll have to take pity and wave the flag when he sees what happens to his team Friday night. The Funks’ father invented the Texas Death Match and they haven’t lost one yet. Terry says that he’s wrestling the match for free because he just wants to get his hands on the little piggy faces of Ron Wright & Bob Armstrong.
-Corny complains about how Smoky Mountain is being too charitable by offering fans $2 off tickets for Fire on the Mountain if they bring their Night of the Legends tickets. That, and all the free food and drinks and photos and autographs they’ll get at Night of the Legends…that all just infuriates Corny.
-We close with a photo montage of all the legends of yesteryear, set to “Glory Days.”
