wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (7.31.1993)
Loading...-Originally aired July 31, 1993.
-We’re in Williamsburg, KY at the middle school.
-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dr. Dutch Mantell. Steve Armstrong gets drawn for Beat the Champ.
HEAVENLY BODIES (with Jim Cornette) vs LARRY SANTO & CHRIS COMET
-Bob Caudle says that immediately after the match, Bob Armstrong will make a major announcement, and it directly affects Jim Cornette.
-Del Ray gets a nice dropkick on Santo and powerbombs him. Suplex by Dr. Tom, but Santo evades a backdrop and dropkicks Pritchard. Comet tags in and pops the crowd with a Frankensteiner. Flying headscissors is blocked by some well-timed cheating, and Del Ray finishes with a moonsault.
-Vote for the Most Popular Wrestler in SMW. You can win a 20-inch television!
-Bob Caudle is with Bob Armstrong and SMW general manager Sandy Scott. We go back to house show shenanigans with Jim Cornette getting a pinfall victory over Bullet Bob. Bullet Bob says it’s humiliating that he holds victories over some of the toughest men who ever walked the earth, but some wimpy manager has a win over him? So Bob Armstrong announces that he has signed contracts for rematches with Jim Cornette, this time one-on-one, and the first rematch, in Johnson City, Tennessee, will be in a cage. The special guest referee assigned to officiate the bout…wait for it…The Big Boss Man.
-Side note: How awesome would it be if the payoff to this thing would be Boss Man totally screwing over Armstrong and siding with his ex-exployer to give Cornette yet ANOTHER win?
-And then the following night, in Knoxville, TN, Jim Cornette will have to wrestle Bullet Bob AGAIN, and this time, it’ll be a lumberjack match. And in the name of poetic justice, Bob Armstrong insists that ALL the lumberjacks will have tennis racquets. As an added bonus, he has asked that the same ambulance that took him to the hospital last time around in Knoxville be present, and Cornette MUST be injured enough to require an ambulance after the match. If Cornette is healthy enough to leave under his own power, Bob Armstrong must pay refunds for every fan in the building out of his own pocket.
-House show action is coming to Barbourville, and it’s another Armstrongs/Heavenly Bodies & Cornette six-man. Cornette vows that Armstrong will never get ANY vengeance on him in a six-man match.
“White Lightning” TIM HORNER vs “Golden Boy” JOE CAZANA
-Hiptosses are exchanged as Dutch Mantell makes my jaw hang by explaining, “Jim Cornette should not be counted out because he and the Big Boss Man have a past.” Holy crap!
-Tim Horner works the arm as Chris Candido joins commentary to explain that he’s NOT a crybaby, no matter what Tim Horner says. He says that WWA President Dennis Corraluzzo is encouraging him to return to New Jersey and just say the hell with SMW, but he says he wants to stick around and embarrass Horner. Horner’s jealous because he’s never won a world title in his 47-year career, but Candido won his belt in only three years.
-Cazana gets some token offense, but Horner fights him off with right hands, and the natural bridge wins.
-We go back to last week’s heinous baby-bottle-mouth-into-shoving assault by Chris Candido. Tim Horner says there’s payback coming now. Tim Horner has requested something that he calls a Crybaby match. Loser has to drink from a baby bottle and put on a diaper. Crowd loves this idea.
-Fire on the Mountain ’93 is coming to Johnson City, TN on August 14! Steve Armstrong faces Jimmy Del Ray in a Status Match(?) Dirty White Boy meets the Mongolian Stomper. Tim Horner meets Chris Candido in a baby bottle match. Kevin Sullivan vs Big Boss Man! Tracy Smothers vs Brian Lee in a Coal Miners Glove match for the SMW Title. And in the main event, it’s Rage in the Cage: Cornette’s Criminals vs. Armstrong’s Army, which is not the one-on-one match Armstrong set up earlier. Anyway, your referee will be the Big Boss Man, so that’s nice. Oh, I guess the Status Match is what they do instead of the coin flip. Also, for $15, you can show up two hours early and have pizza with the wrestlers. AND after the show, there’s going to be a concert!
DOWN AND DIRTY WITH DUTCH
-Dirty White Boy is here and he’s just plain sick and tired of whooping Bobby Blaze. Just to be done with it, DWB offers him a rematch, and Blaze will collect $100 a minute for every minute the match goes on. If Blaze lasts ten minutes, he gets a full thousand bucks. But if he can’t survive ten minutes, Dirty White Boy gets to shave Blaze’s head.
-We take a look at some footage of Tracy Smothers shooting a commercial for a local car dealership. Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch show up and hassle him. “You’re just a Toyota, and Brian Lee is a Rolls Royce.” Smothers says he thinks Fytch is knowledgeable about cars because of all the backseats she’s seen. Fistfight breaks out, and a windshield gets shattered in all the craziness. I gotta be honest, I’m kind of amazed this company had THAT much money to throw around.
“Wild Eyed Southern Boy” TRACY SMOTHERS vs JUICY JOHNNY
-Juicy. Johnny. Joke’s on you, AWA fans who thought “Bun Boy” was a stupid jobber name.
-Juicy Johnny goes on the offensive with a veritable Ocean Spray of slapping. He whiffs on an Irish whip and Smothers is like “the hell with this” and dropkicks him before Juicy Johnny hurts himself. Corner charge by Smothers is countered by a high knee, but his ability to follow through and win the match is made from concentrate and it hasn’t thawed yet, so he misses a flying elbow, and Smothers capitalizes with a jawjack to finish.
-Juicy Johnny.
-Tracy Smothers says that he’s gonna scale that pole like a monkey and get his hands in the Coal Miners Glove. He’s gonna get the win and get his belt back!
-K-Town Showdown in Knoxville on August 20! Dirty White Boy vs. Bobby Blaze, Blaze’s Hair vs. $100 per minute! Tim Horner vs Chris Candido, and the loser wears a diaper. Kevin Sullivan vs. Big Boss Man in a Singapore Spike Match. Coal Miners’ Glove match! A four-team elimination match! And Bob Armstrong vs Jim Cornette in a lumberjack match, lumberjacks have tennis racquets and the guest referee is the Big Boss Man.
BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: DIRTY WHITE BOY (TV Champion, with Mr. Ron Wright) vs STEVE ARMSTRONG
-Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies join commentary, and Cornette whines and whines and whines about the way SMW is sticking it to him and it’s obvious that the ex-commissioner still has a lot of clout. Cony reiterates that he goes back a long way with Boss Man and he promises to work things out before long.
-Armstrong works the arm over and backdrops DWB. Dropkick and a slam by Armstrong as he just dominates this match, but the Heavenly Bodies storm to the ring and attack.
-We get words from Armstrong’s Army, and Barberville, KY is going to be Jim Cornette’s demise. The six-man-tag match has a one-hour time limit, and Jim Cornette can’t possibly run for a full hour.
-House show action in Knoxville between the Rock & Roll Express and the Bruise Brothers. Double dropkicks daze both Bruise Brothers, establishing that indeed, they can be hurt by the move, but it’s not QUITE enough to beat them, and the Brothers get the win with a loaded something-or-other to the noggin of Ricky Morton. Rock & Roll Express challenges the Bruise Brothers to a match right here on TV, next week!
