The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (9.10.1994)

PLUG: Wednesday, June 7, GSN debuts its newest original game show, “EmoGenius,” featuring graphics designed by yours truly and a staff of four other talented people, and it would do my heart good if you tuned in or set your DVR for it each Wednesday night. And while you’re at it, be sure to tune in Thursday nights for “Idiotest” featuring puzzles designed and occasionally written by me, too. We’re four months into the season and it just now occurred to me that I haven’t shilled for it yet.

-Originally aired September 10, 1994.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Les Thatcher. Another easy week for Lance Storm, as his opponent is the great Brian Logan.

“Suicide Blonde” CHRIS CANDIDO (with Tammy Fytch & Boo Bradley) vs STEVE SKYFIRE
-Sweet spot with Skyfire going for a leapfrog and Candido turns it into an electric chair. Legdrop from the second rope looks to finish, but Candido’s in a bad mood so he keeps going. Suicideplex gets the duke.

-Bob Caudle talks to Candido and company. Candido still wants a piece of Ricky Morton due to the ridiculous bonnet he has to wear to hide his bald head. He’s also furious about his loss to Lance Storm and teases having a big plan in store for the TV Champion. Tammy complains about how irritating Boo Bradley is, but if he does what they’re using him for, she’ll learn to live with it.

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: LANCE STORM (Champion, with Chris Jericho) vs BRIAN LOGAN
-Boo Bradley storms in and assaults Brian Logan, leaving Logan in no condition to wrestle, but Lance has to wrestle somebody, right?

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: LANCE STORM (Champion, with Chris Jericho) vs BOO BRADLEY (with Tammy Fytch & Chris Candido)
-Bodypress by Storm gets two right away. Storm clamps on an armbar to keep the crazy man on the mat, then sends him out to the floor. Candido slaps Bradley around to motivate him, and Bradley gets so fired up that he drags Storm outside and beats on him so viciously that it rips the tarp covering the high school basketball court.

-Back inside, Bradley just beats on Storm, and then spinkicks Storm over the top rope, a display of agility that the crowd wasn’t ready for. It’s funny, the match had heat and then the untamed Wildman hits this incredibly agile move and the fans go SILENT because they’re too surprised to react.

-Storm comes back with a dropkick. Really ugly blown spot with Storm doing a flying bodypress with Bradley both A) way too far from him and B) facing away. Candido just says “to hell with this” and attacks Storm to draw the DQ. Bradley and Candido gang up on Storm. Jericho tries to make the save despite his broken arm, and Bradley and Candido just go right to work on the arm, injuring him further and leaving both Thrillseekers on the mat.

-We get a house show promo. That’s the first time in MONTHS they’ve done one of these.

-Lance Storm promises that if his partner’s arm has been injured further, Candido “will answer for it.” I can see why Jim Cornette was frustrated by these guys.

DA GANGSTAS vs DOUG DALTON & ANTHONY MICHAELS
-New Jack clubbers Michaels in the corner and rams him into Mustafa’s boot. Mustafa slams him down and then slugs it out with Dalton. Mustafa wins the fistfight easily and boots Dalton down. Mustafa chokes him out. Side slam by Mustafa, and the 187 finishes it.

PERSONALITY PROFILE
-Les talks to Da Gangstas as we recap their attack on the Rock & Roll Express. Thatcher throws out a challenge, suggesting Da Gangstas wrestle a match without their posse at ringside. They COULD, but that just isn’t the way it’s done in the ‘hood, New Jack explains.

-Bob Caudle welcomes FITE. Cornette is still hell-bent on figuring out who the commissioner of SMW is because the company still hasn’t revealed Bob Armstrong’s replacement. My guess: It’s the Anonymous SMW General Manager, whose pronouncements will be read by Bob Caudle after the loud dial tone and screeches of a fax machine are blared over the PA system.

BULLET BOB ARMSTRONG & “Wild Eyed Southern Boy” TRACY SMOTHERS vs F.I.T.E. (with Jim Cornette)
-Cornette throws a bottle of rubbing alcohol into Bob Armstrong’s eyes, blinding him before the match even starts, and Smothers is stuck working the match alone.

-Smothers fights both members of FITE by himself, connecting with a bodypress for two, but Bruiser Bedlam breaks the pin and Smothers is quickly overwhelmed by the 2-on-1 attack, which turns into 3-on-1 quickly after a tennis racquet shot from Cornette.

-Suddenly, the Dirty White Boy arrives and perches himself on the apron, declaring himself a replacement for Armstrong. FITE has the ring cut in half really well though and they continue the beating on Smothers. Kyle applies a bearhug, with Bedlam helpfully pulling them to the corner so that there’s no point in Smothers fighting out of it. Bedlam tags in and drops, and a headbutt on him. Smothers manages to throw a clothesline with what little strength he has left.

-Hot tag at long last to DWB and we have all four men brawling in the ring. Cornette gives DWB a good hard whack with the tennis racquet behind the referee’s back, and Bedlam collapses on top for a three-count. FITE unleashes a beating after the bell until Bob Armstrong comes to the ring swinging a baseball bat and making contact with Kyle right before everyone hauls ass outta there.

6.8

The final score: review Average

The 411

Fun angles this week, or maybe I'm just in a good mood.